Utah women in tech report religious sexism

[Tacenda]

On 9/13/2024 at 3:54 PM, The Nehor said:

This.

Every possible other motivation must be discarded before thinking anything bad of men but if you want to explain why women struggle throw out the first gender stereotype that comes to mind and that explains it.

Men are SO fragile about this that it is almost comical.

I double your "This"

I sometimes will try not to seem smart, I'm not actually, around my husband and others because I'm afraid that it's not going to be acceptable. Like women belong behind the men, or not to be in the lead. I often blamed Mormonism on it, or our culture even while active in the church because of witnessing my husband and my brother-in-laws treatment of women. Not really abusive but subtle things they say or do. 

[Calm]

12 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

sometimes will try not to seem smart, I'm not actually, around my husband and others because I'm afraid that it's not going to be acceptable.

I think you have convinced yourself you aren’t smart to feel more comfortable about not being more assertive. You ask questions and you listen. You are aware of how those around will likely react.  You want to protect them as much as you want to protect yourself. 

There is a lot more relevant to intelligence than sounding smart, which is often just having an expansive vocabulary and decent grammar or having interests in science because people associate that with intelligence.  Someone who never went to college, but who is a great cook because they understand the chemistry behind cooking and how to make use of it is rarely considered smart when it may take more intelligence to juggle getting 3 or 4 dishes all on the table at the peak of their perfection than it does to write a research paper on hiccups (that was my second to last English assignment in college…I went all out, but it just involved spitting out information I collected, cooking a good meal is much harder in my view).

BTW, there is nothing wrong with not being assertive.  You do you. Only you know what is an acceptable cost and what isn’t in your relationships. 

Edited September 22 by Calm

[The Nehor]

Saw this and thought of this thread:

https://fortune.com/2024/08/08/most-high-performing-women-recieve-negative-feedback-quit-jobs/

[Amulek]

20 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Saw this and thought of this thread:

https://fortune.com/2024/08/08/most-high-performing-women-recieve-negative-feedback-quit-jobs/

From the article, "The report also finds that working women’s feedback is also often highly unactionable, meaning that criticism isn’t meaningful, or it’s unclear on what improvements need to be made."

In my experience, that pretty much sums up the majority of so-called performance reviews I've seen over the years. I don't doubt that this seems to be happening to women more often than men, but unless there is some specific incident that you either messed up or really shined then it seems like most reviews tend to be...unactionable.

 

[The Nehor]

7 hours ago, Amulek said:

From the article, "The report also finds that working women’s feedback is also often highly unactionable, meaning that criticism isn’t meaningful, or it’s unclear on what improvements need to be made."

In my experience, that pretty much sums up the majority of so-called performance reviews I've seen over the years. I don't doubt that this seems to be happening to women more often than men, but unless there is some specific incident that you either messed up or really shined then it seems like most reviews tend to be...unactionable.

 

I don’t like this sequel to the #metoo movement. I prefer the original.