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When the daunting (and doubting) question; WHY? Cannot be answered.


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Last night as the new year was coming about, I remember thinking of all those who died in the public eye and the private. I thought about how this New Year would be better, at least not for my family, a very rough start. 

One of the best friends (couples) of my wife and I, has had some health problems. This is a couple who buried their only daughter around ten years ago at the age of nine. Their youngest son has the same illness, he is ten and his health is getting worse. A few weeks ago the Father (Steve)  of this family started having heart issues. He was supposed to go this Friday to see what surgeons could do. My wife and I we talking about what might happen to (Cindy) the Mother if Steve died, and how would she cope without him when Aaron (the child) passed? 

They also have a Son out West on a mission, who had to deal with the fact that his little brother would not survive until he gets home. All of these factors are "daunting" to say the least! 

Then at 1:00AM, this morning, our friend, not the Father, not the Son, but Cindy our friend passed away with no warning...not even a hint of sickness. She had a heart attack, going home to be with Julie her daughter, (probably) within the year her son Aaron to follow. We were all going on vacation together next month, but that will not be. 

WHY!? 

Please be in prayer for Steve Crawford (the Father) that his health an be healed.

Please pray for Aaron Crawford (their youngest son) that he will be able to pass away and go to his Mother without so much pain.

Please pray for Elder Brent Crawford, on his mission. At least he was able to talk with his Mom a week ago. Also, knowing Steve and Cindy as I do, they would probably want him to remain on his mission. He will get to see her before she is buried in IW, just a day's drive from where he is serving. 

Again; WHY? 

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31 minutes ago, Bill "Papa" Lee said:

Last night as the new year was coming about, I remember thinking of all those who died in the public eye and the private. I thought about how this New Year would be better, at least not for my family, a very rough start. 

One of the best friends (couples) of my wife and I, has had some health problems. This is a couple who buried their only daughter around ten years ago at the age of nine. Their youngest son has the same illness, he is ten and his health is getting worse. A few weeks ago the Father (Steve)  of this family started having heart issues. He was supposed to go this Friday to see what surgeons could do. My wife and I we talking about what might happen to (Cindy) the Mother if Steve died, and how would she cope without him when Aaron (the child) passed? 

They also have a Son out West on a mission, who had to deal with the fact that his little brother would not survive until he gets home. All of these factors are "daunting" to say the least! 

Then at 1:00AM, this morning, our friend, not the Father, not the Son, but Cindy our friend passed away with no warning...not even a hint of sickness. She had a heart attack, going home to be with Julie her daughter, (probably) within the year her son Aaron to follow. We were all going on vacation together next month, but that will not be. 

WHY!? 

Please be in prayer for Steve Crawford (the Father) that his health an be healed.

Please pray for Aaron Crawford (their youngest son) that he will be able to pass away and go to his Mother without so much pain.

Please pray for Elder Brent Crawford, on his mission. At least he was able to talk with his Mom a week ago. Also, knowing Steve and Cindy as I do, they would probably want him to remain on his mission. He will get to see her before she is buried in IW, just a day's drive from where he is serving. 

Again; WHY? 

(bold mine)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KWSCKsHhEI

I hope this video will give you hope or peace. Debbie Reynolds, her son believes, willed herself to go and be with her daughter. While a lot of people balk at this, after watching this video, I believe she did. When you watch at about 1:45 minutes in, you'll see. I was absolutely amazed, because she didn't appear to be at deaths door. 

I'm so sorry that your family and theirs is going through such a difficult thing.  

 

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Oh...how could this be...should something now happen to the father..the young man passes away without his parents..I don't know.  I cannot even comprehend.  Yours and my only hope is that the family will all be together..perhaps way before their time (to us)...but this is when I really hope there is a plan somewhere...otherwise, I would have to fear that God had abandoned them..and that can't be right.  Please keep us posted...hopefully the father can mend..heal..and bring about a safer route for the all consuming heartache.  Perhaps the mother (wife) will bring about a way for safe passage of all concerned and be the one who watches..waits...and welcomes.

 

Edited by Jeanne
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hi papa.

I think you already knew that this life is a "valley of tears". There is consolation in the knowledge of the value of suffering, and of the contrast between mortality and eternity. If I am not mistaken, your faith is like mine with respect to how we are taught to expect suffering and trials according to the providence of One who loves us. 

I would suggest that it is easy for those who accept the good reality of death and suffering to answer the why of the question. God loves us. The real mystery is in how each individual's particular sufferings and death are good for them. I do not doubt that all be very plain in the eternal day, and that the good God will be praised by souls afflicted in the ways you describe, and worse. 

Rory

 

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2 hours ago, Jeanne said:

Oh...how could this be...should something now happen to the father..the young man passes away without his parents..I don't know.  I cannot even comprehend.  Yours and my only hope is that the family will all be together..perhaps way before their time (to us)...but this is when I really hope there is a plan somewhere...otherwise, I would have to fear that God had abandoned them..and that can't be right.  Please keep us posted...hopefully the father can mend..heal..and bring about a safer route for the all consuming heartache.  Perhaps the mother (wife) will bring about a way for safe passage of all concerned and be the one who watches..waits...and welcomes.

 

Indeed, Aaron has grown brothers (returned missionaries), but Aaron needs his parents, and now "his parent". Now Steve, must bury Cindy and if his heart problem is fixed, bury Aaron when he passes, a wife and two children lost in one lifetime. 

I know that I believe they will all be together again, but today I am just angry and confused. 

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1 hour ago, 3DOP said:

hi papa.

I think you already knew that this life is a "valley of tears". There is consolation in the knowledge of the value of suffering, and of the contrast between mortality and eternity. If I am not mistaken, your faith is like mine with respect to how we are taught to expect suffering and trials according to the providence of One who loves us. 

I would suggest that it is easy for those who accept the good reality of death and suffering to answer the why of the question. God loves us. The real mystery is in how each individual's particular sufferings and death are good for them. I do not doubt that all be very plain in the eternal day, and that the good God will be praised by souls afflicted in the ways you describe, and worse. 

Rory

 

I know, I am just heartbroken today. Other than elderly family and friends, I have never had someone so close to my family pass away so unexpected, and with so much surrounding heartache. I am just feeling so helpless, so upset. 

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2 hours ago, Tacenda said:

(bold mine)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KWSCKsHhEI

I hope this video will give you hope or peace. Debbie Reynolds, her son believes, willed herself to go and be with her daughter. While a lot of people balk at this, after watching this video, I believe she did. When you watch at about 1:45 minutes in, you'll see. I was absolutely amazed, because she didn't appear to be at deaths door. 

I'm so sorry that your family and theirs is going through such a difficult thing.  

 

Thanks...

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My only advice is to follow Steven's lead.  If he is talking of how they will be together in the eternity, join in.  If he isn't, don't point this out.  It doesn't help with the right now as you have said.  

I also wouldn't focus on the "why".  There isn't an answer for that at this time and even if there was, it wouldn't be good enough for the loss.

Life is brutal, it has some nice parts, but it is not easy and for me, losing the one I love is the hardest.

For your part in helping, invite Adam and Steve to quiet dinners.  Talk and share stories about his wife (follow his lead, but don't shy away if he brings her up).  Talking about my husband makes me cry, but it is one of the few things that I also have joy again with.  

If you are able, get Adam out for awhile so Steve has a break.  

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On 1/1/2017 at 4:15 PM, Bill "Papa" Lee said:

I know, I am just heartbroken today. Other than elderly family and friends, I have never had someone so close to my family pass away so unexpected, and with so much surrounding heartache. I am just feeling so helpless, so upset. 

A cyber hug...hope it will do.  This is so sad on many levels.

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On January 4, 2017 at 4:23 PM, Jeanne said:

A cyber hug...hope it will do.  This is so sad on many levels.

If things could not get worse, they had to cancel the funeral because of snow and ice on the roads. 

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