Polygamy And Gender Reception

[Wanderer7]

I recently listened to an account by the daughter of Heber C. Kimball, wherein she mentioned that when Heber first learned about plural marriage, it troubled him so much as to render him physically ill. Vilate (his wife), on the other hand, prayed about it and received confirmation that it was of God. She then helped her husband to follow suit. It got me to thinking, many critics of the church assume that polygamy was instituted by men with either sexual intentions or the desire for power over women. I wondered if the historical documents support this idea. In your opinion, based on primary historical accounts, were men or women more receptive to the idea of polygamy at its inception?

Here is an excerpt from the account. Or you can listen to it on Youtube. Search for testimony of plural wives.

http://en.fairmormon.org/Mormonism_and_polygamy/Divine_manifestations_to_plural_wives_and_families#endnote_kimball1

Edited March 15, 2014 by Wanderer7

[jaxenro]

I have read in some instances both men and women opposed it and I think it varied by person. I can't quote references for you though

Polygamy can be hard on the people involved both men and women. If the men were doing it for sexual intentions then simply taking a mistress, which was winked at socially, would have been easier. I often thought that some of the opposition to polygamy outside the church was that it pointed out the hypocrisy of men who claimed to be monogamous but cheated.

[Duncan]

I think Brigham Young struggled with it

[K-2]

In contrast to your story about Heber C. Kimball, I read in some comments on the Feminist Mormon Housewives blog that Richard G. Scott promised his wife before she died that he would not remarry, and has kept his promise. She must not have wanted to share him.

[katherine the great]

I think Vilate was the exception rather than the rule among polygamous first wives.  It was a hard thing for women and there were many divorces.  I believe the vast majority of polygamists felt that it was their religious duty although there were some men who undoubtedly did it for access to numerous sexual partners (without being in violation of their religious principles.)  Normally, in polygynous societies, it is only the most wealthy men who can procure multiple wives.  In the LDS church, however, it seemed to be more aligned with church leadership and sometimes they were not very good at supporting their families as they were often on missions or even in jail.  I believe it was harder on the LDS wives than most women historically.

[The Nehor]

I think Brigham Young struggled with it

 

He did. His comment was that he envied the dead when he first heard it.

[EllenMaksoud]

In contrast to your story about Heber C. Kimball, I read in some comments on the Feminist Mormon Housewives blog that Richard G. Scott promised his wife before she died that he would not remarry, and has kept his promise. She must not have wanted to share him.

I have not understood how the book of Jacob could have been written given the events that later transpired. I am from a culture (Muslim) that freely practiced polygamy, even in the USA, and still does; may I say with impunity? Yet, even in that culture, I never met a Muslim woman who was happy with it. In the present, I have not met a woman who liked the idea, Muslim or other.

 

It would be instructive to see a Mormon woman author a thread here that showed her in favor of such practice for she would be unique woman indeed. It would be interesting to see if any women have ever authored a thread in favor here. Me thinks it has all been men. Hmmmm.

 

Should it again be done by Godly purpose, I am sure that there will be special circumstances present, none of which we want to see happen.

[Calm]

I think Vilate was the exception rather than the rule among polygamous first wives.  

I am not sure.  There are at least two journal reports among my ancestors that the first wives were the ones that bugged their husbands to get a second one.

 

It would be interesting to see some data, but I am not sure there is enough out there.

[EllenMaksoud]

I am not sure.  There are at least two journal reports among my ancestors that the first wives were the ones that bugged their husbands to get a second one.

 

It would be interesting to see some data, but I am not sure there is enough out there.

I was profoundly touched when I walked into one of the habitations at the Kirtland Visitor's Center. The folk of the 1830's did not yet have a kitchen, indoor plumbing, refrigeration, or even a simple kitchen sink. I was most surprised when I turned round and saw a large fireplace, and in the fireplace was an Iron bar that swung in and out of the fireplace like a crane. I learned it was called a "Wife Saver". The woman's dresses of the day often caught fire when they reached in to stir the pots. The crane allowed the pot to be removed from the fire to stir and add ingredients.

 

So, I imagine the women of the day were so burdened by their labors that they would welcome additional help. I wonder if that is the actual origination of polygamous practice. So, now I wonder when the book of Jacob was translated?

[Wanderer7]

These are all some good thoughts. I was more wondering, however, if anyone was aware of any similar first-hand accounts that suggested one way or another like calmoriah provided, rather than hearsay or conjecture. I think we do ourselves a disservice with regards to many aspects of this issue by making up our minds about it without consulting the primary evidence, either one way or the other (myself included). Like calmoriah also said, there may not be enough data to make an argument in either direction. 

[jaxenro]

From personal experience I would agree with zellenMaksoud that it is very hard on women especially one that had been married for a while when the husband takes a second, often younger, wife. Perhaps the Saints in pioneer days were different from women today but I don't think much. Some women may have embraced it but I think the majority either accepted it or tolerated it

[Bikeemikey]

From personal experience I would agree with zellenMaksoud that it is very hard on women especially one that had been married for a while when the husband takes a second, often younger, wife. Perhaps the Saints in pioneer days were different from women today but I don't think much. Some women may have embraced it but I think the majority either accepted it or tolerated it

I think you are likely correct.

[katherine the great]

I am not sure.  There are at least two journal reports among my ancestors that the first wives were the ones that bugged their husbands to get a second one.

 

It would be interesting to see some data, but I am not sure there is enough out there.

Oh I agree that some women were the instigators. But overall, I don't think it was a very popular idea.  I have an ancestress who took close to twenty years to agree to it and her husband put it entirely in her hands.  He didn't want more wives but he was under pressure from Brigham Young to take additional wives so that he could make him a Stake President.  They both did their religious duty.  I know of women who allowed it at first and eventually left when they couldn't deal with it and other women who simply refused to allow it at all.