Is it bad if I masturbate sometimes but don’t watch pornography and have high-functioning autism?

[MatteoManospherian]

I am 17, half-Mexican, and have autism, after I started going to the gym and doing martial arts, learning Spanish my heritage language and second language, I realized God was real and he was giving me the gifts of autism to fruit, I honestly don’t watch pornography but I do sometimes partially masturbate and look at erotica kind of, but not pornography, I believe porn is adultery and a sin, am I wrong for believing this and should I change my beliefs on this standard or switch to more effective methods of this law in the Book of Mormon? I get that it is a sin just like pornography but I struggle to quit it sometimes because of the disabilities and constant routine that it gives me.

I honestly have belief in God after many conclusions in my head and critically thinking the World and eating healthy, I never plan to stop believing God because I believe someone created the Earth in some way and all our galaxies and planets.

But I struggle with only this one thing and it makes me kind of worried, because I know God’s blessing me and I’m not perfect because of my autism and hyperthinking, tunnel vision gifts I was given, is there any advice to what I can do?

Also btw, ignore my username when I post, I don’t really believe in the manosphere anymore at all, I believe belief in Mormonism is a lot stronger than they are and I’ve changed mostly.

I love my relationship I have with my American father, Mexican mother, and God, they are both the people which helped me grow, I see them as Adam and Eve guiding me in some way.

[bluebell]

9 minutes ago, MatteoManospherian said:

I am 17, half-Mexican, and have autism, after I started going to the gym and doing martial arts, learning Spanish my heritage language and second language, I realized God was real and he was giving me the gifts of autism to fruit, I honestly don’t watch pornography but I do sometimes partially masturbate and look at erotica kind of, but not pornography, I believe porn is adultery and a sin, am I wrong for believing this and should I change my beliefs on this standard or switch to more effective methods of this law in the Book of Mormon? I get that it is a sin just like pornography but I struggle to quit it sometimes because of the disabilities and constant routine that it gives me.

I honestly have belief in God after many conclusions in my head and critically thinking the World and eating healthy, I never plan to stop believing God because I believe someone created the Earth in some way and all our galaxies and planets.

But I struggle with only this one thing and it makes me kind of worried, because I know God’s blessing me and I’m not perfect because of my autism and hyperthinking, tunnel vision gifts I was given, is there any advice to what I can do?

Also btw, ignore my username when I post, I don’t really believe in the manosphere anymore at all, I believe belief in Mormonism is a lot stronger than they are and I’ve changed mostly.

I love my relationship I have with my American father, Mexican mother, and God, they are both the people which helped me grow, I see them as Adam and Eve guiding me in some way.

I think this talk from GC will be helpful for you.

Worthiness is not Flawlessness

Read the whole thing if you can, but this part is especially relevant:

Some mistakenly receive the message that they are not worthy to participate fully in the gospel because they are not completely free of bad habits. God’s message is that worthiness is not flawlessness.¹¹ Worthiness is being honest and trying. We must be honest with God, priesthood leaders, and others who love us,¹² and we must strive to keep God’s commandments and never give up just because we slip up.¹³ Elder Bruce C. Hafen said that developing a Christlike character “requires patience and persistence more than it requires flawlessness.”¹⁴ The Lord has said the gifts of the Spirit are “given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do.”¹⁵

One young man I’ll call Damon wrote: “Growing up, I struggled with pornography. I always felt so ashamed that I could not get things right.” Each time Damon slipped, the pain of regret became so intense, he harshly judged himself to be unworthy of any kind of grace, forgiveness, or additional chances from God. He said: “I decided I just deserved to feel terrible all the time. I figured God probably hated me because I wasn’t willing to work harder and get on top of this once and for all. I would go a week and sometimes even a month, but then I would relapse and think, ‘I’ll never be good enough, so what’s the use of even trying?’”

At one such low moment, Damon said to his priesthood leader: “Maybe I should just stop coming to church. I’m sick of being a hypocrite.”

His leader responded: “You’re not a hypocrite because you have a bad habit you are trying to break. You are a hypocrite if you hide it, lie about it, or try to convince yourself the Church has the problem for maintaining such high standards. Being honest about your actions and taking steps to move forward is not being a hypocrite. It is being a disciple.”¹⁶ This leader quoted Elder Richard G. Scott, who taught: “The Lord sees weaknesses differently than He does rebellion. … When the Lord speaks of weaknesses, it is always with mercy.”¹⁷

That perspective gave Damon hope. He realized God was not up there saying, “Damon blew it again.” Instead, He was probably saying, “Look how far Damon has come.” This young man finally stopped looking down in shame or looking sideways for excuses and rationalizations. He looked up for divine help, and he found it.¹⁸

Damon said: “The only time I had turned to God in the past was to ask for forgiveness, but now I also asked for grace—His ‘enabling power’ [Bible Dictionary, “Grace”]. I had never done that before. These days I spend a lot less time hating myself for what I have done and a lot more time loving Jesus for what He has done.”

Considering how long Damon had struggled, it was unhelpful and unrealistic for parents and leaders assisting him to say “never again” too quickly or to arbitrarily set some standard of abstinence to be considered “worthy.” Instead, they started with small, reachable goals. They got rid of the all-or-nothing expectations and focused on incremental growth, which allowed Damon to build on a series of successes instead of failures.¹⁹ He, like the enslaved people of Limhi, learned he could “prosper by degrees.”²⁰

Elder D. Todd Christofferson has counseled: “To deal with something [very] big, we may need to work at it in small, daily bites. … Incorporating new and wholesome habits into our character or overcoming bad habits or addictions [most] often means an effort today followed by another tomorrow and then another, perhaps for many days, even months and years. … But we can do it because we can appeal to God … for the help we need each day.”²¹

[rpn]

It shows that your spirit is not yet in fully control of your mortal body, its parts passions and appetites yet.  We came to earth because we needed our mortal body and mortal experiences, and our goal here is to teach our body to be in control of our spirits and not the other way around.    Obviously there are lots of ways people's spirits aren't yet in full charge and acting in full submission to God.  But sexual appetites are one of Satan's most used trigger points.  Misuse of them (outside the marital relationship)  in many of its forms leads to much risk of or actual harm, including for wholly innocent.  And because God made them strong to fulfill His purposes, those appetites are hard to put back in a bottle once they get encouraged, acted upon.   So don't misuse those appetites and work on your spirit being able to control each of your mortal appetites.   It's an obstacle to becoming like Them, but not an insurmountable one to the extent one works to extinguish it.  (BTW, many young people think it will go away when they are married.  But that isn't necessarily so and when it is not part of how the couple together are intimate, it directly competes.  Resolve the issue before you start seriously dating.)

ETA:  while it is not a sin that has to be confessed to a bishop for repentance, it is one of the questions bishops must ask for missionary applications (because missionaries don't get to choose their companions and every missionary needs to be fully safe from anything that will/might negatively affect his mission.  In one case I personally know of, the clean time was a year.  In another I personally know of it was 4 months.

Edited October 20, 2022 by rpn

[MatteoManospherian]

20 hours ago, rpn said:

It shows that your spirit is not yet in fully control of your mortal body, its parts passions and appetites yet.  We came to earth because we needed our mortal body and mortal experiences, and our goal here is to teach our body to be in control of our spirits and not the other way around.    Obviously there are lots of ways people's spirits aren't yet in full charge and acting in full submission to God.  But sexual appetites are one of Satan's most used trigger points.  Misuse of them (outside the marital relationship)  in many of its forms leads to much risk of or actual harm, including for wholly innocent.  And because God made them strong to fulfill His purposes, those appetites are hard to put back in a bottle once they get encouraged, acted upon.   So don't misuse those appetites and work on your spirit being able to control each of your mortal appetites.   It's an obstacle to becoming like Them, but not an insurmountable one to the extent one works to extinguish it.  (BTW, many young people think it will go away when they are married.  But that isn't necessarily so and when it is not part of how the couple together are intimate, it directly competes.  Resolve the issue before you start seriously dating.)

ETA:  while it is not a sin that has to be confessed to a bishop for repentance, it is one of the questions bishops must ask for missionary applications (because missionaries don't get to choose their companions and every missionary needs to be fully safe from anything that will/might negatively affect his mission.  In one case I personally know of, the clean time was a year.  In another I personally know of it was 4 months.

It sounds good, should I read the Book of Mormon to get these answers? I’ve critically think many things but I believe sexual appetites are not mortal either, I don’t like pornography but sexual appetites are bad too and are not mortal, especially before marriage, marriage should be about our emotions and feelings with each other, the book is very mortal, I have watched many videos in Mandarin music and have came to the conclusion that their partners in the video love to share their feelings and are great, God is right about this.

[MorningStar]

45 minutes ago, MatteoManospherian said:

It sounds good, should I read the Book of Mormon to get these answers? I’ve critically think many things but I believe sexual appetites are not mortal either, I don’t like pornography but sexual appetites are bad too and are not mortal, especially before marriage, marriage should be about our emotions and feelings with each other, the book is very mortal, I have watched many videos in Mandarin music and have came to the conclusion that their partners in the video love to share their feelings and are great, God is right about this.

It's not sinful to have sexual feelings. We were made that way and it's what keeps the human race going! When I talk to my kids about it, I ask them, "Is fire good or bad?" At first my son said, "Bad!" I said, "It is?" Then he thought about it a moment and realized it can be good. It can also ruin your life if not used safely and appropriately.