I need help solidifying my thoughts on sexual consent

[rpn]

10 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

  Was I not at all responsible for my actions and the outcome?

God may hold a tempter/ess responsible, but temptees may not.   No one can make someone be tempted.   We have agency to not be tempted, and we must learn not to blame others for our own sexual feelings and our actions.

 

[bluebell]

15 hours ago, rpn said:

Girls can violate consent too.   So don't make that a boy/girl distinction.   Make sure the boys know they are entitled and should say NO too.   That being a man really means never taking advantage of others, no matter how eager they may appear to engage in that situation.   (Many don't understand that the law of chastity requires not even kissing someone not your spouse , if kissing arouses yours or your partner's sexual feelings.)  

Another thing I remind my boys is that the girls who might be willing to do those things with them are likely to have mental health or emotional health issues that make it hard for them to give informed consent at all.   Most are trading sex for affection. 

And for heaven's sake, make sure every boy hears that they are entirely responsible for themselves, that no girl is responsible for his feelings related to the clothes she wears or not.   That girls are NOT AT ALL responsible for not tempting boys.    (Tip, if boys make sure they are always looking at the person's face, what they are wearing can be less of an issue anyway.

And please tell them that despite what they may hear at school or in the magazines, EVERYONE IS NOT DOING IT.   That those who have/want a life intentionally choose not to have sex until they've graduated from high school,  and gotten married. 

I don't agree with everything you said but I agree with a lot of it.  Good stuff.

[MustardSeed]

27 minutes ago, rpn said:

God may hold a tempter/ess responsible, but temptees may not.   No one can make someone be tempted.   We have agency to not be tempted, and we must learn not to blame others for our own sexual feelings and our actions.

 

So if I’m teaching girls at church about their accountability for their actions, there is room to address this so long as they understand that they are responsible for their actions and boys are responsible for their own. 

It’s messy, isn’t it??