Watch Your Ste

[tyler90az]

I was balling like a little girl watching that video. That is a video I think most men would do well to watch regularly. That is especially the case for me, the message is powerful.

http://www.overcomingpornography.org

I located the video on this website. Which in itself is a great treasure. There are so many hidden gems on the website. Not just about pornography but technology also.

There is a group called No Fap http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/ in which 52,000 people are apart of including me. It is a temptation that many are trying to defeat. It is unfortunate this website will not be used by the mainstream simply because it is religious.

[teddyaware]

[media=]

I was balling like a little girl watching that video. That is a video I think most men would do well to watch regularly. That is especially the case for me, the message is powerful.

http://www.overcomingpornography.org

I located the video on this website. Which in itself is a great treasure. There are so many hidden gems on the website. Not just about pornography but technology also.

There is a group called No Fap http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/ in which 52,000 people are apart of including me. It is a temptation that many are trying to defeat. It is unfortunate this website will not be used by the mainstream simply because it is religious.

What a great video! The cinematic technique of visual side by side views of the life that would be if temptation is succumbed to, and the life could be if the proper choices are made is especially effective. The impassioned voice of warning of the great Apostle of Jesus Christ, Jeffry R. Holland, brings great convincing power to the presentation.

One of the great mysteries of life is why those of us who should know better -- especially testimony bearing Latter-day Saints -- are willing to sacrifice their loved ones, their chances for true happiness, and even their own souls for that which only brings the most fleeting pleasure, followed by wave after buffeting wave of pure misery, sorrow, self-loathing and regret? In a spirit of deep humility, I quote good King Benjamin:

"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord..." (Mosiah 3:19)

[mercyngrace]

One of the great mysteries of life is why those of us who should know better -- especially testimony bearing Latter-day Saints -- are willing to sacrifice their loved ones, their chances for true happiness, and even their own souls for that which only brings the most fleeting pleasure, followed by wave after buffeting wave of pure misery, sorrow, self-loathing and regret?

I don't think you understand the physiology of addiction. Even unintentional exposures to a brain altering experience (whether it's an abuse of natural brain chemical release associated with heightened stimulation or an external chemical) can create an appetite for repeat experiences. In terms of pornography, there was a great lecture which addressed this several years ago. It was shown pretty regularly on BYUTV. I'll see if I can find a link. The speaker explained that pornography is designed to create addiction from the first viewing and that most of our children get that in childhood either in the "softer" form on tv or "harder" forms as unintentional exposures on the internet.

Just yesterday, I spoke to my father-in-law after his most recent release from rehab. His brain function is decreased to 1/3 of the capacity it should be. He's always been a brilliant man and a phenomenal doctor but addiction has literally enslaved him. As a doctor, he knows better than most exactly how the drugs he has taken interact with his body. He knows the dangers better than your average addict. He has worked with other recovering addicts at various points in his career, helping them fight their demons even while succumbing to his own.

Knowledge isn't enough when it comes to addiction. It's a start but some miracles take a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of support - all born of compassion and forgiveness.

Elder Craig Cardon's talk today spoke to this quite well, I thought.

Edited April 6, 2013 by mercyngrace

[teddyaware]

I don't think you understand the physiology of addiction. Even unintentional exposures to a brain altering experience (whether it's an abuse of natural brain chemical release associated with heightened stimulation or an external chemical) can create an appetite for repeat experiences. In terms of pornography, there was a great lecture which addressed this several years ago. It was shown pretty regularly on BYUTV. I'll see if I can find a link. The speaker explained that pornography is designed to create addiction from the first viewing and that most of our children get that in childhood either in the "softer" form on tv or "harder" forms as unintentional exposures on the internet.

Just yesterday, I spoke to my father-in-law after his most recent release from rehab. His brain function is decreased to 1/3 of the capacity it should be. He's always been a brilliant man and a phenomenal doctor but addiction has literally enslaved him. As a doctor, he knows better than most exactly how the drugs he has taken interact with his body. He knows the dangers better than your average addict. He has worked with other recovering addicts at various points in his career, helping them fight their demons even while succumbing to his own.

Knowledge isn't enough when it comes to addiction. It's a start but some miracles take a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of support - all born of compassion and forgiveness.

Elder Craig Cardon's talk today spoke to this quite well, I thought.

Thanks for your insights. Understand I do not broach this sensitive subject from a self righteous position. I'm a normal man and know full well the pull that carnality has upon the mind of the natural man. Even so, I think succumbing to that pull is a bit easier to understand when one considers the plight of a single young man with raging hormones. But when I hear stories of mature married men, with lovely and attractive wives, who end up addicted and losing everything -- including their wives, kids and their religion -- it's so very sad and difficult to wrap my mind around. Perhaps this phenomenon is part and parcel of a popular culture built upon the sandy yet alluring foundation of instant gratification.

I have learned through personal experience that it's much better to "sweat it out," as it were, crucifying the flesh (as Paul puts it), than it is to touch the unclean thing. I am still tempted from time to time, but with God's help I don't give in, primarily because I don't want to be emotionally sapped and spiritually miserable.

Edited April 6, 2013 by teddyaware

[rongo]

Pornography addiction is stronger than drug addiction*, and that's why so many men in the Church who truly want to stop relapse again and again. And the cycle of guilt and self-hatred spirals downward with each fall off the wagon. It tends to be worse with men who were exposed or experimented with it at a young age (like 11-13, when the physical changes are happening), because the brain gets rewired during the formative years. The connections that are grown between neurons have to wither and die, which requires on average at least 18 months of full abstinence.

*Neurosurgeon Dr. Donald Hilton has famously staked out the position that pornography addiction actually is drug addiction, with the method of delivery being through the eyes and ears instead of via injection, smoking, etc. The chemical cocktail of seretonin, dopamine, adrenaline, testosterone, etc. are similar to drugs' forcing the body to release these chemicals, except that pornography also results in the release of oxytocin, a chemical that is released when mothers nurse and binds mothers psychologically to their children. Pornography users are "bound" in a twisted way to the behavior and experience.

Edited April 6, 2013 by rongo

[teddyaware]

Pornography addiction is stronger than drug addiction*, and that's why so many men in the Church who truly want to stop relapse again and again. And the cycle of guilt and self-hatred spirals downward with each fall off the wagon. It tends to be worse with men who were exposed or experimented with it at a young age (like 11-13, when the physical changes are happening), because the brain gets rewired during the formative years. The connections that are grown between neurons have to wither and die, which requires on average at least 18 months of full abstinence.

*Neurosurgeon Dr. Donald Hilton has famously staked out the position that pornography addiction actually is drug addiction, with the method of delivery being through the eyes and ears instead of via injection, smoking, etc. The chemical cocktail of seretonin, dopamine, adrenaline, testosterone, etc. are similar to drugs' forcing the body to release these chemicals, except that pornography also results in the release of oxytocin, a chemical that is released when mothers nurse and binds mothers psychologically to their children. Pornography users are "bound" in a twisted way to the behavior and experience.

Thanks for the above. From personal experience, I can tell you the best way to overcome any form of addiction is to excercise faith in God so as to increase courage to willingly embrace the mental darkness and emotional misery one is forced to encounter when swearing off that which is forbidden of God and harmful to body and soul. One must be brave enough to willing endure the reaping of the consequenses of that which they have sown. Rather than seeking comfort in the release of more seretonin, dopamine, adrenaline, testosterone, and oxytocin, by reindulging in the addictive behaviour, one must, instead, rise up as a man and willingly plunge headlong into the valley of the shadow of death of their own creating. If one does this, with faith in Christ, he will open his eyes in that dark and lonely place and see a single pinprick of exquisite, inviting light that ministers faith, comfort and hope during the long period of painful abstinence on the road to full recovery and healing.

Edited April 7, 2013 by teddyaware

[DBMormon]

For those who want to help with the addition of pornography I wanted to share a link. I came across this in counseling a member with addicitons one of them being pornography. I think this hits addictive behavior right on

http://abettermormon.com/

He address mormons specifically. If you sign up you get multiple mp3 files where he walks you through the addiction process and how to combat it.

[urroner]

Addiction is a complicated problem or should that be "problems?" People become addicted to non-healthy habits for lots of different reasons, many which are not understood very well, if at all.

I heard a discussion some time ago about a father who had a son who was addicted to hard drugs. It was a constant battle for his son to resist drugs. He wanted to get off, but could find the will to do it. Finally, after years of struggle and counseling, he was able to stop using them. Sometime after that, the son was diagnosed as bipolar and given the correct meds. This diagnosis was impossible while he was doing drugs.

The father said that during a conversation with his son, his son told him that the drugs stopped the chaos going on inside his head. He found peace just for a short time and that was what he wanted.

I have a son who used to do pot and now, he doesn't do it anymore, but he has taken up drinking, but one day, while I was talking with him about his use of pot, he looked at me and said in all seriousness, "Dad, when I smoke pot, I feel normal. The noise in my head just quiets down for a short time."

I believe that throwing people into jail for the use of drugs then to be very counterproductive. Many of these people suffer from mental problems and the use of drugs is their self-medicating to deal with those problems.

Instead of throwing them into jail, it would be cheaper and way more productive to find ways of helping them realize what the problem is and how to deal with that problem.

Ten kids do pot at a party, eight or nine of them might do it again, but they don't become addicted to it while the other one or two find its call unrejectable. Why?

I have ADHD and since I've been on meds, my life has become a lot better. I have a long time friend who used to do all sort of drugs. I suggested that he might have ADHD and to go get some counseling to see if he did. He was diagnosed as having it and was started on some ADHD meds. Within a short time, he only took the one pill in the morning and led a productive life during the day. He was talking to me the other day and said "Imagine using speed to slow me down. Now, that's totally counterintuitive."

[mercyngrace]

Addiction is a complicated problem or should that be "problems?" People become addicted to non-healthy habits for lots of different reasons, many which are not understood very well, if at all.

I heard a discussion some time ago about a father who had a son who was addicted to hard drugs. It was a constant battle for his son to resist drugs. He wanted to get off, but could find the will to do it. Finally, after years of struggle and counseling, he was able to stop using them. Sometime after that, the son was diagnosed as bipolar and given the correct meds. This diagnosis was impossible while he was doing drugs.

The father said that during a conversation with his son, his son told him that the drugs stopped the chaos going on inside his head. He found peace just for a short time and that was what he wanted.

I have a son who used to do pot and now, he doesn't do it anymore, but he has taken up drinking, but one day, while I was talking with him about his use of pot, he looked at me and said in all seriousness, "Dad, when I smoke pot, I feel normal. The noise in my head just quiets down for a short time."

I believe that throwing people into jail for the use of drugs then to be very counterproductive. Many of these people suffer from mental problems and the use of drugs is their self-medicating to deal with those problems.

Instead of throwing them into jail, it would be cheaper and way more productive to find ways of helping them realize what the problem is and how to deal with that problem.

Ten kids do pot at a party, eight or nine of them might do it again, but they don't become addicted to it while the other one or two find its call unrejectable. Why?

I have ADHD and since I've been on meds, my life has become a lot better. I have a long time friend who used to do all sort of drugs. I suggested that he might have ADHD and to go get some counseling to see if he did. He was diagnosed as having it and was started on some ADHD meds. Within a short time, he only took the one pill in the morning and led a productive life during the day. He was talking to me the other day and said "Imagine using speed to slow me down. Now, that's totally counterintuitive."

Thanks for sharing that Urroner.

[Calm]

I believe that throwing people into jail for the use of drugs then to be very counterproductive. Many of these people suffer from mental problems and the use of drugs is their self-medicating to deal with those problems.

Physical problems as well. I have heard many reports from people who suffer from rls (restless legs syndrome) who have turned to self medication in an attempt to get some peace. Edited April 7, 2013 by calmoriah

[canard78]

Thanks for the above. From personal experience, I can tell you the best way to overcome any form of addiction is to excercise faith in God so as to increase courage to willingly embrace the mental darkness and emotional misery one is forced to encounter when swearing off that which is forbidden of God and harmful to body and soul. One must be brave enough to willing endure the reaping of the consequenses of that which they have sown. Rather than seeking comfort in the release of more seretonin, dopamine, adrenaline, testosterone, and oxytocin, by reindulging in the addictive behaviour, one must, instead, rise up as a man and willingly plunge headlong into the valley of the shadow of death of their own creating. If one does this, with faith in Christ, he will open his eyes in that dark and lonely place and see a single pinprick of exquisite, inviting light that ministers faith, comfort and hope during the long period of painful abstinence on the road to full recovery and healing.

While it sounds like a pretty speech (you could even thump the pulpit while delivering it and raise to a crescendo as you do so), this kind of language is potentially damaging and runs counter to the content of the Addiction Recovery Program.

To suggest, as you appear to have that the solution is to: "excercise faith," "increase courage," "be brave enough," "rise up as a man" is to suggest, by implication that someone who struggles with addiction is "lacking faith, cowardly, not a man." This is a gross misunderstanding of the issue of addiction. Simple being brave and having faith does not work.

[teddyaware]

While it sounds like a pretty speech (you could even thump the pulpit while delivering it and raise to a crescendo as you do so), this kind of language is potentially damaging and runs counter to the content of the Addiction Recovery Program.

To suggest, as you appear to have that the solution is to: "excercise faith," "increase courage," "be brave enough," "rise up as a man" is to suggest, by implication that someone who struggles with addiction is "lacking faith, cowardly, not a man." This is a gross misunderstanding of the issue of addiction. Simple being brave and having faith does not work.

As one who's struggled with addiction, I wrote those words from the heart with humility, because yours truly was verily the one who finally had to "exercise faith" (in God's power), "increase courage" (with the help of God), "be brave enough" (with God's help) to admit that I had screwed up my own life and injured those who loved me, before at long last I was finally able to overcome. I speak as one with experience, not as an armchair theoretician.

You say being brave and having faith does not work. Well it worked for me, and it's also worked for unnumbered hundreds of thousands of others who throughout the millennia have overcome physical, emotional, and spiritual illnesses, injuries and vexations by exercising faith in God. When the Saviour taugh that faith could make his brothers and sisters whole, I ultimately came to the conclusion that I would take him at his word, and so I turned away from the enemy of my soul, and of my own free will and choice walked into the self imposed state of human misery we call withdrawal and abstinence.

As an active and fully participating Latter-day Saint, I have great faith that God can help the ailing who are willing to face and embrace the truth about themselves, because it happened to me. So perhaps you might be willing amend your statement that "simply being brave and having faith does not work" to say, instead, that "being brave and having faith in God has enabled many to successfully overcome the thorny challenges of breaking addiction."

As I said, the thing that worked for me was that I finally developed a willingness to wade what I knew would be months of misery, because I had great faith and hope that God (and my bishop) would stand at my side to strenghten me and steel my resolve to endure the painful process of recovery to a triumphant conclusion. My watch cry through that time of great personal tribulation was the immortal words of the Apostle Paul, who said, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13)

Edited April 8, 2013 by teddyaware

[teddyaware]

misfire

Edited April 8, 2013 by teddyaware

[tyler90az]

Pornography addiction is stronger than drug addiction*, and that's why so many men in the Church who truly want to stop relapse again and again. And the cycle of guilt and self-hatred spirals downward with each fall off the wagon. It tends to be worse with men who were exposed or experimented with it at a young age (like 11-13, when the physical changes are happening), because the brain gets rewired during the formative years. The connections that are grown between neurons have to wither and die, which requires on average at least 18 months of full abstinence.

*Neurosurgeon Dr. Donald Hilton has famously staked out the position that pornography addiction actually is drug addiction, with the method of delivery being through the eyes and ears instead of via injection, smoking, etc. The chemical cocktail of seretonin, dopamine, adrenaline, testosterone, etc. are similar to drugs' forcing the body to release these chemicals, except that pornography also results in the release of oxytocin, a chemical that is released when mothers nurse and binds mothers psychologically to their children. Pornography users are "bound" in a twisted way to the behavior and experience.

I have viewed porn since I can remember. One thing that is interesting is that none sticks in my brain like you hear of people who have not viewed much. When I first was married I stopped for awhile. Then continued after awhile. There have been no negative side effects that I know of. I do feel guilty because it is viewed as sin and I try to live a life of spiritual integrity. The only physical effect has been an intense sex drive. The thing is that, I am only 22 so that is why I believe I have an intense sex drive. No doubt it is addicting and easy to "relapse." I am doing it more for the sanctity of marriage, like spoken of in GC. Also because my wife does not want me doing it.

I decided I needed help. The first thing I pounded in my brain is that I am an addict. That way I would have the desire to beat it. Then I created multiple layers of accountability.

1. God

2. Wife

3. Bishop

4. Online

I had to postpone getting my patriarchal blessing due to my confession. That is alright, it is accountability that is much needed. Also my wife checks my computer and I know she will find out if I do. Since I have told my wife to check computer I have not done it, praise Jesus.

It is also of my opinion that masturbation is ok if I think about my wife. I think more men masturbate then would admit. It could be a cause of less devotion, guilt or even leaving the church. I notice the church speaks mainly about porn and not masturbation. Like, the leaders feel the same way but have went quiet on the issue.

---

Also I have to disagree about pornography being the most addicting. I have smoked cigs, drank alch, marijuana cigarettes, porn, pain killers(needed for pain), and cursed. By far the toughest addiction to beat is cursing, I still have not beat it. I do not do it in public or constantly. Nevertheless, it still slips once in awhile. I wish I could beat it somehow, I have been sincerely battling that addiction for 4 years. It makes it harder because my wife is dealing with the same issue. That means we have no accountability for the cursing addiction.

Edited April 8, 2013 by tyler90az

[Calm]

Simple being brave and having faith does not work.

I wouldn't rely on bravery and willpower to fix my daughter's diabetes or my own neurochemical disorder (which btw is a problem with having too little dopamine), why would I rely on it as the sole resource to help with addiction?

[Calm]

As an active and fully participating Latter-day Saint, I have great faith that God can help the ailing who are willing to face and embrace the truth about themselves, because it happened to me.

Indeed he does, but if the Lord wanted us to solely rely on faith, then whenever we got sick, broke a leg or whatever, all we would need is a blessing. Instead he has given us additional aids that his healing can work through.

[tyler90az]

As one who's struggled with addiction, I wrote those words from the heart with humility, because yours truly was verily the one who finally had to "exercise faith" (in God's power), "increase courage" (with the help of God), "be brave enough" (with God's help) to admit that I had screwed up my own life and injured those who loved me, before at long last I was finally able to overcome. I speak as one with experience, not as an armchair theoretician.

You say being brave and having faith does not work. Well it worked for me, and it's also worked for unnumbered hundreds of thousands of others who throughout the millennia have overcome physical, emotional, and spiritual illnesses, injuries and vexations by exercising faith in God. When the Saviour taugh that faith could make his brothers and sisters whole, I ultimately came to the conclusion that I would take him at his word, and so I turned away from the enemy of my soul, and of my own free will and choice walked into the self imposed state of human misery we call withdrawal and abstinence.

As an active and fully participating Latter-day Saint, I have great faith that God can help the ailing who are willing to face and embrace the truth about themselves, because it happened to me. So perhaps you might be willing amend your statement that "simply being brave and having faith does not work" to say, instead, that "being brave and having faith in God has enabled many to successfully overcome the thorny challenges of breaking addiction."

As I said, the thing that worked for me was that I finally developed a willingness to wade what I knew would be months of misery, because I had great faith and hope that God (and my bishop) would stand at my side to strenghten me and steel my resolve to endure the painful process of recovery to a triumphant conclusion. My watch cry through that time of great personal tribulation was the immortal words of the Apostle Paul, who said, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13)

I have to agree with what you said for the most part. Although I think the enabling power of the atonement is a little different then we think. It is not we pray and boom we get the power to resist temptation, although it can be. More often then not using the enabling power is Jesus Christ guiding us to resources that will help us. Those resources can be counseling, church, scriptures, holy ghost guidance or random people. It also does not always happen one time and your done. Rather, you must constantly draw on the enabling power, when you fall continue to draw on the enabling power. In most cases it is a process not an immediate change.

[Calm]

More often then not using the enabling power is Jesus Christ guiding us to resources that will help us.

Very well stated....all of it, but especially this part.