Right And Wrong For Dummies?

[Messenger]

What would you put in this book to educate a few of your fellow LDS church members? Of course, this is all in fun .... so go for it!

[Messenger]

1, Thou shalt not get in the way of another members calling.

2. Thou shalt not simply call a bishop and leadership positions on the merit of being rich only.

More?

[guitarist]

You should add as an addendum the 14th article of faith:

We believe in meetings, we hope for meetings, we pray in meetings, we have endured many meetings, and hope to be able to endure all meetings. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we meet for these things.

Edited February 28, 2012 by guitarist

[The Nehor]

Thou shalt not call the Bishop more then once a week unless invited to or it is a genuine emergency.

Thou shalt not bail on missionary exchanges five minutes before the exchange starts unless a family member is near-death.

Thou shalt not tell boring rambling stories in Church classes.

Thou shalt not teach anything from "Embraced by the Light" or anything from Stephen R. Covey in church.

Thou shalt not attempt to burden the ward as a whole with dealing with your mental, emotional, or spiritual problems.

Thou shalt not feed your children in sacrament meeting unless thou art willing to clean up before you leave.

Thou shalt not assume the minutiae of your dull life makes for good listening in Fast & Testimony meeting.

Unless a meeting is required by the CHI or will result in something good physically happening then said meeting should not happen. If it does happen anyways you are justified in skipping it.

Edited February 28, 2012 by The Nehor

[blackstrap]

1.thou shalt have a very thick skin.

2.thou shalt be blind to the faults of others.

3.thou shalt be able to make funeral potatoes and green jello

[Messenger]

Thou shalt not feed your children in sacrament meeting unless thou art willing to clean up before you leave.

Love this one -- But maybe add this ....

If thou must feed your children, thou must find square cherrios so they dont roll everywhere, or thou must break them in half if no square cherrios are found.

[Stargazer]

• Thou shalt not end your talks and testimonies with "In the name of THY son... Amen." (You're not praying to God, you're talking to the Ward, darnit.)
  
• When a baby is being given a name and a blessing in Sacrament meeting, thou shalt not address the baby as if it could understand you. (Blessing of babies is done by addressing Heavenly Father; and this doesn't mean that you should start off addressing Heavenly Father and then switch to addressing the baby in mid-blessing.)
  
• New priests (and especially new convert priests) should be asked to practice blessing the sacrament in front of an instructor before doing it for the first time in Sacrament meeting, and should be well-instructed that leaving some words out, and inserting new and different ones is not acceptable.
  

[Messenger]

When thou returnest from thy mission, thou shalt not give a travel log for thy homecoming talk.

[Stargazer]

When thou returnest from thy mission, thou shalt not give a travel log for thy homecoming talk.

In our stake, the RM is given a topic he or she is expected to talk about, and must work any mission experiences he or she tells about into the topic. It works out pretty good, actually.

[blackstrap]

Ya know,as a youth,I found the most interesting talks were those of the returned missionary talking about life in the "real" world.A topic given to the returned missionary is like another high council talk.What is there to peak the interest of the youth if not for cool stories of eating strange foods etc.?

[Stargazer]

Ya know,as a youth,I found the most interesting talks were those of the returned missionary talking about life in the "real" world.A topic given to the returned missionary is like another high council talk.What is there to peak the interest of the youth if not for cool stories of eating strange foods etc.?

Well, it's not that the RM can't talk about the mission, the whole point of an assigned topic is to keep it from becoming a travelogue, which are Rick Steve's responsibility, anyway. Including talking about strange foods.

[Messenger]

When thou home teaches, don't spill every bean to your wife, and embellish them with a few of your own red hot chili beans to make it even more gossip worthy.

[Messenger]

Ya know,as a youth,I found the most interesting talks were those of the returned missionary talking about life in the "real" world.A topic given to the returned missionary is like another high council talk.What is there to peak the interest of the youth if not for cool stories of eating strange foods etc.?

Really? I was never interested in what it was like to land, get off the plane, and what the apartment was like to live in. I never wanted to know the daily routine, walking, biking and driving. Further, high council talks are well, boring too. I mean, just show up and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. Its not their fault at all. Its just that they give way too many talks to put enough effort in them to wing them every Sunday. But RM's talks can be interesting. There is nothing wrong about talking about strange foods, but also mainly talk about missionary conversion stories, feeling the spirit, and bearing your testimony in the face of evil and changing the situation. The Gospel is true, so shouldn't the RMs talk be about that? I could pull out the Handbook 2 and probably back that up.

But, as the OP states, just have fun with it. Its supposed to be fun. Spell that for me will you? F. U, N.