My Wife's Encounter with some Lovely Ex-Mormons

[beastie]

I am truly touched by how you all, and particularly consig, have welcomed and appreciated my words. Thank you. It really is meaningful to be reminded of our common humanity sometimes.

I wish your wife well in her journey, consig. I hope that, no matter what path she takes, she can make some peace with her past.

[GingerRed]

At a fireside a month ago, the speaker , who was afflicted with a physical condition, made this observationâ?¦.

Pain is inevitable â?¦.suffering is optional. In other words, we all have pain in our livesâ?¦be it physical, emotional, psychological, self inflicted, etc, etcâ?¦.that canâ??t be helped. Butâ?¦.we can choose to â??sufferâ??â?¦.wallow in self pity, complain, murmur, blame others, give up, give in to despair, lose hope, etc. I think that statement rings true. I know itâ??s been said many times that we choose how we react to what life throws at us. But itâ??s not easy, is it? Itâ??s a tough one for me, anyway! Itâ??s much easier to shift your feelings off to something or someone else so we donâ??t have to deal with it.

Iâ??ve worked in the medical field for over 20 years. If that isnâ??t being exposed to all walks of life and every range of human emotion, I donâ??t know what is! I have seen death and I have seen miracles. I have watched some of the worst kinds of suffering in every way possible. I have seen how different people react to their situation. It still amazes me, the human psyche!

I once was assigned to work on a Cancer Unit at a hospital in San Francisco as a nurseâ??s aide many years ago. Now most non-medical folk would assume that they couldnâ??t imagine a more depressing place to spend a day! I thought so myself. But I couldnâ??t have been more wrong! First of all, the unit itself was made as cheery looking as possible. Bright yellow walls, artwork all around, some by the patients themselves. I had three patients to tend, all in different stages of the disease. I was expecting the worstâ?¦..down and depressed patients, talking about death, yadda yadda. These patients were the most amazing people Iâ??ve ever encountered. They were not wallowing in sorrow, they were calmâ?¦peacefulâ?¦even smiling! They easily spoke about their cancer. Some were hopeful, knowing they could still be cured. Some were just resigned to knowing they were going to die,â?¦but they were, for some reason, not afraidâ?¦.not angryâ?¦not in despair. It was amazing to me! The nurses there were some of the best Iâ??ve ever worked with. They were so attentive, compassionate, caring, happy. I thought that I would be walking around that floor the whole shift, trying not to cry, knowing that these patients I had were dying and I had to put on a happy face and try to just uplift them somehow. But I was the one who was uplifted! They were the brave ones! The courage and fortitude those patients showed me is something Iâ??ve never forgotten. I learned a wonderful lesson about choosing to â??sufferâ??. How could I ever complain again about such little stupid things in life that I thought were such a big deal, but werenâ??t? Thereâ??s no way I could ever understand what they were going through and God willing, may I never have to experience it!

God never gives us more than we can handle. We hear that all the time. Yet I sometimes think, then why are people out there committing suicide if they are supposed to be able to handle it? If the Lord knows our future and He KNOWS that if He lets a certain thing happen to a person and that will put them over the edge enough to take their own lifeâ?¦.then why did He let it happen? I donâ??t know the answer. Except that we have our free agency and the Lord cannot interfere with our choices. He will intervene sometimes if we ask Him to, but we do have to be in tune enough with the Spirit to hear His response.

I feel for you guys who have left the church or are experiencing tough times and challenges to your faith! Believe me, been there done that! I was SO angry at the Lord once, that I came THIS close to chucking Him and the church right out of my life! Boy was I ready to throw in the towel, and say thatâ??s it Jack, Iâ??m outta here! But a little miracle happened that changed my mind. I have never contemplated leaving the church ever again since then! Even though I have had some pretty hard trials, and I have gotten angry and asked that age old question, why me?? Butâ?¦who am I to tell the Lord, why me? What, am I so special, so deserving, such a good person, so perfect, better than anyone else, that I shouldnâ??t be tried and tested because I am the faithful, holding onto the rod, Miss Molly Mormon? Look at me, look how humble and good I am! I think NOT!!!!

Ya know if anything, I think the Lord picks on us faithful MORE soâ?¦because He wants to see what were made of! Good olâ?? Refiners Fire! What doesnâ??t kill us makes us stronger, remember? I have a dear friend who suffers greatlyâ?¦she has had just about everything the Lord threw at Job!â?¦.she went through divorce, lost a child, lost her home, lost both her elderly parents that she was caring for in her home within a week of each other, her health is deteriorated to the point she canâ??t work. Sometimes she spends a whole day in bed due to pain, just doped up enough to sleep so she doesnâ??t have to feel the pain. She was a young healthy woman and just BAM she went under! I used to pray in her behalf for the Lord to give her a break, sheâ??s had enough! But something else bad always seem to happen to her anyway! And yetâ?¦â?¦sheâ??s still living the gospelâ?¦.still goes to church when she is ableâ?¦still has her faith! Oh my heck, I donâ??t know HOW she does it! I think I would have freaked if all that happened to me! Donâ??t we all know at least ONE person in the church that you see how terrible their life seemsâ?¦.but they somehow, someway are still smiling and have this crazy positive attitude?? I mean, HOW do they do it? Why is it that some folks can take every trial and tribulation and it rolls off their back like water on a duck? Makes ya sick doesnâ??t it? LOL

Choice. Its choice! They CHOOSE to be strong. They CHOOSE to be positive. They CHOOSE to stay close to the Lord no matter what. Man, that is GUTS!

I canâ??t begin to say how much I admire that kind of constitution!

I appreciate all that everyone has said on here, especially those who have opened up their emotions on their sleeve. Thatâ??s not easy to do. I donâ??t know what I can add or advice I can give. Except to say, hang in there. Pray. The Lord loves you! He really, really does! He must because heâ??s sure had plenty of times He could have abandoned me, gave up on me, or even killed me off ( Iâ??ve been in 3 accidents that I should not be still on this earth!) But here I am. Faults and allâ?¦â?¦baggage and all. Even you, Beastieâ?¦ He loves you too, He will never stop loving you. I know you donâ??t believe that, but He does despite what you think. Heâ??s there, like it or not, belief or not. You will certainly find out when you go to the next life, huh? (yeah I know.... you donâ??t believe that eitherâ?¦) Thatâ??s okay. I have enough faith for the both of us You, and all others here, need to find your happiness and peace where you can find it. I respect that. To each his own. There has to be opposition in all things. There has to be non believers out there, has to be antiâ??s out there, has to be atheists out there, has to be bad things out thereâ?¦they are all part of the plan. If we didnâ??t have the opposition, how would we become strong and grow?

I agree with SearchDogâ?¦..we need to lighten up and be of good cheer more for what we DO have! Instead of â??endure to the endâ?? I think they should say â??enjoy to the endâ??â?¦! Donâ??t forget who you are and look at the bigger picture. This life is but an instant. Visualize that cheering section you got up in the Heavens ! Your ancestors, the angels among us, Jesusâ?¦.all wanting the best for us and rejoice at our achievements and faith!

I hope and pray those of you who are struggling. May you find your peace and joy.

Red

[Somebodyz]

Nice post, Red.

Joy is a choice. If you look for misery you will find it. If you look for that which is uplifting, you will find it also.

[emeliza]

Joy is a choice. If you look for misery you will find it. If you look for that which is uplifting, you will find it also.

True, but an atheist can do this as much as a believer. Obviously I am a believer, but many of my closest friends are atheist and they are as happy as I am typically speaking and they are as good of people as I am typically speaking, some are way better. They lack things I have and I lack things they have. Basically I would go with the quote that Doctor Stuess always uses from BY, to paraphrase, "A good man is a good man whether in or out of the Church."

I do believe attitude is everything, but I also believe that there is a season for everything, even one to wallow and complain. I don't believe anyone who has shared on this thread has let their problems in life overcome living. Everyone appears to be not only a surviver, but a thriver in the face of adversity (whether you believe that is from the adversary or not).

[GingerRed]

True, but an atheist can do this as much as a believer. Obviously I am a believer, but many of my closest friends are atheist and they are as happy as I am typically speaking and they are as good of people as I am typically speaking, some are way better. They lack things I have and I lack things they have. Basically I would go with the quote that Doctor Stuess always uses from BY, to paraphrase, "A good man is a good man whether in or out of the Church."

I do believe attitude is everything, but I also believe that there is a season for everything, even one to wallow and complain. I don't believe anyone who has shared on this thread has let their problems in life overcome living. Everyone appears to be not only a surviver, but a thriver in the face of adversity (whether you believe that is from the adversary or not).

That's true, Em. There are some amazingly strong people on here of any faith or of no faith. I give them all kudos!

Red

[emeliza]

Tha's true, Em. There are some amazingly strong people on here either of all faiths or of no faith. I give them all kudos!

GR~ Thanks for understanding what I meant. I wasn't trying to discount what you said at all. I was just adding a bit of my own thoughts.

[Anijen]

I also appreciated Red (nice post BTW) and Emiliza and GardenGirl posts, they have wonderful attitudes, thanks for the good cheer!