Doctor Steuss Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Sidney Rigdon: We will suffer no more at the hands of apostate Reeseâ??s. If they do not leave the wrapping of the real Reeseâ??s they will be cut down!The Porter Rockwell Reeseâ??s promise: As long as you do not remove your wrapper, you will not fall at the hands of thy confectionaries.
Thinking Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Henry Eyring: â??An example of what Iâ??m talking about is the reported consumption of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup by Joseph Smith. Modern scholars, looking at the evidence, found nothing that Joseph Smith ate to be similar to a Reese's. I remarked at the time that such a finding didnâ??t bother me in the least. God doesnâ??t need an actual Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. If all Joseph did was eat the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup by inspiration, then that is sufficient."
California Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 President Monson:In the chill silence of that wintry night, â?¦ one of the three major chunks of chocolate split away from the peanut butter and crashed onto the plate. This so unbalanced the remainder of the top of the choco chunk that it, too, split apart and went down. When the storm was over, not a crumb of the once-proud Peice remained. â??Early the next morning, the confectioner went out to mourn his loss. â?¦ â??Then, his eyes caught sight of something in the splintered ruin. â??The Reeses Piece,â?? he muttered reproachfully. â??The Reeses I found in the south pasture.â?? A glance told him why the choco-chunk had fallen. Growing, edge-up in the trunk of the chocolate, the Piece had prevented the peanut butter fibers from knitting together as they should.â?1There are hidden Reises Pieces in the lives of many whom we knowâ??yes, perhaps in our own families.
Thinking Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Gordon B. Hinckley: "When our people came west, the Reese's were carefully safeguarded. Only 5% of the members were allowed to have them."
Doctor Steuss Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 E=mc2 (Kerry): Iâ??ve got a new podcast showing that ancient Israel understood Reeseâ??s to have corporeal bodies of chocolate.
California Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Joseph Smith:The Reeses Piece has been erected; no warm hand can cause the chocolate to melt; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the chocolate will stand boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every set of lips, visited every plate, swept every pantry, and sounded in every commercial, till the purposes of Hershy's shall be accomplished, and the world shall say, "it's time to eat".
Thinking Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Bill Clinton: "I did not eat that Reese's.Reporter: "But there is chocolate and peanut butter on your face and an empty Reese's wrapper in your hand."Bill Clinton: "It depends on what the meaning of "eat" is."
selek Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Bill Clinton: "I did not eat that Reese's.Reporter: "But there is chocolate and peanut butter on your face and an empty Reese's wrapper in your hand."Bill Clinton: "It depends on what the meaning of "eat" is."Please don't turn this thread political or potentially vulgar.
California Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Postmormon.com: They never told me about the Reeses Peice. My whole life I thought only Snickers existed, sometimes there was mention of a Mars bar, but never a Reeses Piece.
Jigglysaint Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Jigglysaint: "this thread is stupid. Everybody knows that REAL Mormons eat chocolate seashells and that Nutella is the sacred spread and Peanut Butter is the devil's spread."
RenegadeOfPhunk Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Atheist:The very idea of a 'Resses Piece' is clearly irrational. It is declaring itself to be a 'piece' of a 'Reese'. But has anybody actually ever seen a 'Reese'? (Of which a piece of a reese would be - logically - a piece of?).You may as well belevie in the 'Celestial Doughnut hole' orbiting (the) 'Mars' (bar), or the Flying Zwetschgendatschi Monster (cake).Jeez - you guys will beleive anything that's written on a wrapper!!
selek Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 This thread is stupidAnd that differentiates it from so many others how, precisely?At least this one is lighthearted and entertaining. There are many that lack even those virtues (without the saving grace of being serious discussions, either).
Doctor Steuss Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Atheist:The very idea of a 'Resses Piece' is clearly irrational. It is declaring itself to be a 'piece' of a 'Reese'. But has anybody actually ever seen a 'Reese'? (Of which a piece of a reese would be - logically - a piece of?).You may as well belevie in the 'Celestial Doughnut hole' orbiting (the) 'Mars' (bar), or the Flying Zwetschgendatschi Monster (cake).Jeez - you guys will beleive anything that's written on a wrapper!!Ray Comfort: "Behold. The athiest's nightmare!" *waiving Reese's peanut butter cup*
RenegadeOfPhunk Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Ray Comfort: "Behold. The athiest's nightmare!" *waiving Reese's peanut butter cup* Run away! Run away!Although, Ray did put more effort into it than you did Doc. He actually clearly explained and articulated WHY it is the atheists' nightmare! (Don't you remember? The grip? The shape? The 'ring-pull' top?)Come on. You can do better! Ahh man -you've just reminded me!ID'er:If evolution is true, then if I unwrap this Reeses Piece - like so, and scrape away the chocolate, like so, then - wow! Yet again, I see NO new life-forms....!
Oracle Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 I have tears in my eyes. From both this thread and the two from the other board. Thanks for entertainment!
Doctor Steuss Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 [...]ID'er:If evolution is true, then if I unwrap this Reeses Piece - like so, and scrape away the chocolate, like so, then - wow! Yet again, I see NO new life-forms....!Ah-ha-ha-ha! Isn't that from that other guy's video where he shows that Peanut Butter proves evolution is false?*Giggle*
RenegadeOfPhunk Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Ah-ha-ha-ha! Isn't that from that other guy's video where he shows that Peanut Butter proves evolution is false?That's the one!My parody was recognisable! Woohoo!It's not strictly speaking a 'Ray classic'. But he may wish he'd thought of it...
Anijen Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Darwin; The Reese's Peanut butter cup had evolved because it was the stronger of the species. It also had help when a bird picked up a stray peanut which collided coincidentally of course with another bird carrying a coco bean and while falling to the earth.... By the way, I think this thread is stupid.no wonder I find it funny
Doctor Steuss Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 A certain poster who used to work at a certain chicken establishment converses with Consiglieri about Reeseâ??s:Consiglieri: If you read the ingredients on the label you will see that it contains both chocolate and peanut butter.Certain Poster: There is not peanut butter in Reeseâ??s. You need to read the label more slowly. Hereâ??s a statement from the SBC that explains it. Visit my website for more. I love you!
RenegadeOfPhunk Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Evolutionist:It is said that the Reeses Piece is 'irreducibly complex'. That it could not possibly have derived it's structure from small, incremental changes.Well, let me describe to you how the Reeses Piece may well have developed:First of all, it would have been a single peanut. This would have natually spread to become a 'layer' of peanuts. Which is all well and good. However, peanuts - in and of themselves - are neither 'cool', nor 'yummy' enough to survive in the highly competative confectionary industry. Therefore, first cocoa beans (developed from the afore-mentioned peanut programming) would have formed around the peanuts - to add variety and texture. Of course, this in and of itself...ID'er: Oh come on. Cut to the end, and explain the writing on the wrapper!Evolutionist: Oh - you just want me to invoke the 'Willi Wonka of the Gaps'?! Is that right?
Doctor Steuss Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 RenegadeOfPhunk,Methinks you may have outdone yourself ("Willy Wonka of the Gaps")
Thinking Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 D&C 9:7-8"Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give a Reese's unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.But, behold, I say unto you, that you must eat it slowly; otherwise I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel the heartburn."
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