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How do I quit masturbation after seeing the truth about pornography?


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Posted

I am 17, half-Mexican, and have autism, I unfortunately feel awful about any form of masturbation because it still reminds me of pornography sometimes and it traumatizes me because I don't want to go back to my old self of being porn addicted and not respecting the opposite gender, I still do masturbate but I just want to quit because it gives me those bad thoughts of how I used to think about women, and how I couldn't read my favorite artists who were women or see the bigger picture of women and God with pornography, but I'm afraid if I quit masturbation, that my health will get worse and that I will get more unwanted erections, I tried for 2 months of not watching pornography or only looking at slightly nude photos to avoid pornography but it still gave me bad memories and trauma of going back to my old, woman-hating self and that it could lead me back to the same place.

I'm just scared at this point, I feel like this is the only cinder block preventing me from being fully united with God, I now see the truth about pornography and always have and want to quit masturbation, I'm somewhat optimistic because I have been working out and eating healthy, I could just quit and deal with unwanted erections sometimes, but I want to take the first step.

Can anyone help me here or give me some guidance, I love you all's advice, my health has improved and I've begun to see the art of great women like Frida Kahlo, pornography has been damaging and I'm glad I've quit, I want to quit masturbation too as an experiment because I feel confident and I don't want to feel weak or stressed out, I think I want to go to church again starting next sunday.

Posted
57 minutes ago, MatteoManospherian said:

I think I want to go to church again starting next sunday.

Good first step. No one at church is perfect. 

You could look at the addiction recovery program if you think its at an addiction level. The manuals for it are online if you want to see what it involves first. No one in the program will know why you are there unless you specifically tell them.

You could also find out ways to make the unwanted erections go away if they come. Maybe think of a really unattractive school teacher, or donald trump, or think of the words to a hymn. Essentially something that will not have your mind in arousal mode.

 

Posted (edited)

Mindfulness exercises may help with obsessive thoughts. 
 

There are a lot online examples, not all that great, but many excellent. Sorry, I have misplaced the one recommended by my therapist.  I would suggest viewing quite a few (maybe look at the top ones for mindfulness on YouTube) and see which ones work best for you. I will see if I can find the one I used to use. It was out of Australia, one of the first who were using the techniques and language iirc.

Added:  While not the site I was thinking of, a quick look suggests this is a basic, but informed site, good place to start. 
 

https://services.unimelb.edu.au/counsel/resources/guided-exercises/mindfulness-and-meditation#whatismindfulness

Edited by Calm
Posted (edited)

I like healthline in general, so I am assuming their recommendations are likely decent. 
 

https://www.healthline.com/health/meditation-online#A-quick-look-at-the-best-guided-meditations

 

Found a recommendation for the completely free app Smiling Mind. It sounds useful because it goes for shorter 2-5 minute exercises, which may be better suited to your needs.  I am trying it myself as I just don’t have the ability to concentrate for very long these days and short sessions sounds like it might work for me.  I get annoyed too easily with longer ones.  So far it seems workable, asks for level of experience, so it won’t waste time or overwhelm.  Doesn’t require my mind to be really with it.. walking me through everything.

Edited by Calm
Posted
On 11/14/2022 at 8:53 PM, MatteoManospherian said:

I'm just scared at this point, I feel like this is the only cinder block preventing me from being fully united with God,

Don’t worry friend. There will be plenty of things blocking you after you deal with this one.

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