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Missionary Worthiness


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I'm going to be to the point and make a long story short: Not from a strong lds community at all. committed serious sexually sins. Decided I needed to become worthy for a mission. Have been in the repenting process and feel I am forgiven for my past actions. It's been a long, tough ride, but I've came a long way. While counseling with bishop about my issues during my repentance process, I learned masturbation was not accepted by missionary qualifications (parents told me it was normal and fine when it was discovered by them in 6th grade) evolved into a pornagraphy problem. Got over it while repenting for my past actions. It is a not problem now; however, I can not kick masturbation. I tried multiple times and ill go for about a month then I just can not get it out of my head until I do. I did multiple times a day before so I've made a huge improvement, but I almost feel I commit the sin of lust more when I do not masturbate- its way harder to get the thoughts out of my head than when I do. My bishop told me its about controlling your body which I respect, but I feel as I have a harder time when I don't. I ask for the temptation to go away every night. Which I can barely get through, but I do. Same thing in the mornings. But after a couple weeks of this I can not take it anymore which I realize is weak, but I have overcome so much more serious sins without as much struggle. I truly want to stop and ask for help and I still can not. I assume i will keep getting better and can overcome this if I am in the mission field being that one is more focused of the gospel while out So... Here are my question:

1. When I interview, if I tell the bishop and stake pres. of my occasional practice(about once every month) what will be their reaction/response/punishment/time I need to completely stop before I can go?

2. I've read about RMs talking about people doing it in while in the field (mixed reactions/feelings by mission presidents) how serious is this considered while in the field?

3. If I tell them it is not a problem (considering I feel the urge will deflate while in the field, and I've made a night and day difference from where I was) should this be considered sac religious and lying?

4. This one doesn't yet pertain to me, but is masterbating to thoughts of your wife considered a sin?

I feel, because of what ive been through, i can invite others to repent with sincerity while teaching the gospel, but I do not know exactly how i feel or think about the temptation of masturbation and I would hate for that to hinder my ability to share the gospel. Any answers to my questions and-or comments and experiences would be so greatly appreciated

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I jerked it a couple times while serving. Confessed to the Mission President (along with many others) after a conference directed at the Elders on this particular point. I didn't get sent home or anything. Of course, I'm sure every President is different, but I think by and large Priesthood positions are being filled by the type who exercise wisdom, understanding, and follow the Spirit. 

 

That said, there's just no place for that in the mission. I know everyone is different, but it can be controlled. It's pretty incredible (and probably most people won't believe) how many healthy, teenage boys don't have sex, date girls, or even play with themselves for 2 full years. It's tough but it is possible. Quitting intercourse/etc. with a girlfriend is much easier bc once you're away from her, the opportunity is not so available. Masturbation is always available, though. 

 

I really commend you for being willing and preparing to serve a full-time mission even after tasting those particular fruits. I doubt I would have been able to do what you're doing. In regards to your interviews, I would say be honest and let the chips fall where they may. 

 

Vulgar language is not acceptable on this board.  You are new but consider this your only warning.  Next time you will be removed from the thread.

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I guess if you can decide you just won't between now and when you interview and are asked, then you will be able to truthfully say that  you do not.   What I would do is treat it like any other addiction, and do the AA thing (you can participate substituting the word alcohol for yours).  Have a plan, if you think you must, you must start walking and walk to your HTer's house and back, all night long if necessary.   Plan whatever it takes to be in full control, sing a hymn every time the thought comes into your mind.  Play inspiring music so the thought doesn't come.  Become so busy that you are genuinely tired when you get to bed.   Don't be in the place you usually do it.  If you do it in the shower, take sponge baths.  or whatever is required to change up the behavior.   While you are doing this, you might even take sleeping pills a half hour before your bedtime so you are sleepy.   And do not allow yourself more than 10 minutes from the time you awake to get out of the house in the mornings.    You might also fast regularly to conquer it.   And seek a priesthood blessing?   You have come a long way and you can get full control.  

 

The problem for M on a mission is that companions are entitled to not have to deal with this.   You might think they will never know, but they will know.   And you are naive if you think it will go away when you are a missionary and immersed in spiritual things.  It won't (or at least it won't be any better than you can do it now).   And Satan is likely to do things to assure you continue to have a problem. 

 

I'm not one who sees this as sin, but rather as not in full control of your body and therefore not able to exercise your agency to fully submit to His will.   So your progress gets stopped.   And I can pretty much tell  you that your wife isn't going to want you to be M to thinking of her either, because women tend to take it personally when their loved ones have issue.   Bottom line is, yes, getting control after a lifetime of not will not be easy.   But it will be worth it.

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I'm going to be to the point and make a long story short: Not from a strong lds community at all. committed serious sexually sins. Decided I needed to become worthy for a mission. Have been in the repenting process and feel I am forgiven for my past actions. It's been a long, tough ride, but I've came a long way. While counseling with bishop about my issues during my repentance process, I learned masturbation was not accepted by missionary qualifications (parents told me it was normal and fine when it was discovered by them in 6th grade) evolved into a pornagraphy problem. Got over it while repenting for my past actions. It is a not problem now; however, I can not kick masturbation.

Ask your bishop if they have the 12 step program for additions in your area.  This may be able to provide you with the extra help you need,  There has been some discussion on the board before about this, if you do a search you should be able to find it.  I believe Kevin Christensen is the one who if more familiar with it.

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