EllenMaksoud Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 I did it when I was younger. Giving the matter more careful thought, it was perhaps that "skating", that eventually got me thrown out and discarded by the EV. The divorce, and loss of my job were quite the shock. It felt like my own personal "Job". Somehow, there were no police, no record, just utter disgrace.Then came the lost years. I have nothing disparaging to say about my Hijab years. They did not have Jesus Christ the way I knew it.So now there is the resolve and firm commitment that there will be no edges in obedience. At times my subconscious has her hands behind her, fearing punishment for some careless infraction. To displease Heavenly Father is unthinkable, totally unacceptable.It does not make sense why we would tempt the Lord, yet I am having a very weak, sweet, creamy cup of coffee; trying to ease the nausea. It sometimes helps.
Kenngo1969 Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Hmm ... Does this have anything to do with what we were discussing in PM the other day regarding our fellow Saints and the Atonement? No, the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance; yes, "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Still, God is merciful to s/he who repents, and to s/he who "seeketh so to do." Perhaps there is another antidote for your nausea that would be more in keeping with the Word of Wisdom (although I don't work for the Acme Judgment Company . They offered me a job with a terrific salary and great benefits. Alas, I had to turn it down because I didn't feel qualified ... ) As much as I might occasionally feel a self-righteous itch to stand in judgment of my fellow Saints , I must remember the contrast between the Pharisee who said, "Lord, I thank thee that I am not as other men," and the man who said, "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!"
EllenMaksoud Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 Hmm ... Does this have anything to do with what we were discussing in PM the other day regarding our fellow Saints and the Atonement? No, the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance; yes, "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Still, God is merciful to s/he who repents, and to s/he who "seeketh so to do." Perhaps there is another antidote for your nausea that would be more in keeping with the Word of Wisdom (although I don't work for the Acme Judgment Company ™. They offered me a job with a terrific salary and great benefits. Alas, I had to turn it down because I didn't feel qualified ... ) As much as I might occasionally feel a self-righteous itch to stand in judgment of my fellow Saints , I must remember the contrast between the Pharisee who said, "Lord, I thank thee that I am not as other men," and the man who said, "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!" Yes, in a manner of speaking it does. My disagreement and sense of injustice at the way the atonement is taught is something that will go unanswered. So, it will go unheard, and uncorrected, but am getting over it. After all, I did make a covenant to obey, sigh. My disobedience was not revealed to justify it or throw it in their faces, but to lament the fact that I am not as good as I want to be.
DarkScythe Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 We are not as good as we want to be. i have a ton of flaws. God only wants us to do our best And the Atonement makes the rest up. Other than Jesus, We are not perfect
pogi Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I am not as good as I want to be.I think we all feel that way to some extent, but if we were truly honest with ourselves we would have to admit that we are just as good as we want to be. There is no one controlling us. It seems that our heart's wants usually win out over our head's wants. There are usually deep seeded fears, beliefs, or doubts in our hearts that keep us from progressing while our heads are screaming to move forward. What is needed is a "mighty change of heart".
EllenMaksoud Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 I think we all feel that way to some extent, but if we were truly honest with ourselves we would have to admit that we are just as good as we want to be. There is no one controlling us. It seems that our heart's wants usually win out over our head's wants. There are usually deep seeded fears, beliefs, or doubts in our hearts that keep us from progressing while our heads are screaming to move forward. What is needed is a "mighty change of heart".I will pray.
The Grimace Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 Ellen, let me ask you a simple question:If you did not know any religion, how much guilt would you feel for drinking, having coffee, etc.?
EllenMaksoud Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 Ellen, let me ask you a simple question:If you did not know any religion, how much guilt would you feel for drinking, having coffee, etc.? I don't drink, saw enough growing up. I was never a "coffee" drinker, only one cup of very dilute, heavily creamed, and brown sugared, in the morning. My biggest area of struggle is that I am very judgemental at times, and I feel like it must be the worst sin one can have.
Calm Posted August 1, 2013 Posted August 1, 2013 I feel like it must be the worst sin one can have.As long as one recognizes it and works at controlling it, I can think of worse...
EllenMaksoud Posted August 1, 2013 Author Posted August 1, 2013 As long as one recognizes it and works at controlling it, I can think of worse...It is hard for me to know this. There is a real sense that Heavenly Father caught me at the precipice. Perhaps I get a bit hysterical about these things, and I am most certainly grateful.
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