A New Approach to Discussion

[TAO]

So I've been reading alot of threads lately, on this new board, and I have to really give kudos to the moderators for the changes, it has gotten much better, and I feel like the more options other than a straight-ban has made it easier for discussions to occur =).

But something I notice that still occurs on here is the negativity of some threads. For or against the church, I get a bit cautious when I read them. So I decided (a few weeks ago) that sometime, I would post this thread, and see what people's thoughts were... about the effect of positive thinking for discussion.

Basically... one thing I have done while on these forums, is that I have tried to be a more positive thinker. Not just towards the other members, but also towards the critics, and to all those who participate on this board. Occasionally, I slop up, and fail to be a kind person, instead being very harsh and direct. I have tried to avoid these moments whenever possible. And so, I have somewhat tracked the advantages and disadvantages of being an 'obsessively positive thinker'.

The Advantages

-Respect by others. I have noticed when I keep my thinking positive, others are less inclined to disagree with me, and even if they do, to say it in a kinder way.

-Others open up to you more. Personal experiences are shared better, because you aren't worried about someone criticizing you for what you have done in the past.

-Good image. The board will be known as a place of tolerance and good feeling, and people will enjoy participating and thinking, rather than solely debating for the sake of arguing.

-Infection of positive thought. The positive feelings often go viral, and a thread of good nature comes about, making everyone feel happy about participating.

-Unknown Observers like positive thought, and may find it useful.

-Other advantages...? I'm sure there are more... if any of you have some you wish to add, I'd be glad to edit them in!

The Disadvantages

-A large amount of self-restraint is needed. There are those who will not respect you, and will not be friendly despite your best attempts at positivism. And yet you may not criticize them.

-Labeling of Ignorance. Others will label you as ignorant/unintelligent to view the world in such a positive light, despite all it's problems, and to reflect it in your postings.

-Some will not take you seriously. Some who are just here to argue will view you rather disdainfully, and view your point of view as not needing a response.

-Danger of being Hypocritical. With the difficulty in performing this technique, it is easy to make a mistake, and you have to be willing to admit that you made one.

-Lots of patience needed. You can't directly criticize anymore, so you have to be patient in explaining things with others.

-Other disadvantages...? I'm sure I haven't listed them all. Feel free to list some.

So... positive thinking... what do you guys think. Positive thinking means a lot... it means not criticizing others... but patient explaining... not seeking dominance... just offering. It means being the person with high rules in which everyone else is not limiting themselves to them. It means being the greater person in situations, by disabling yourself from doing things which generate negative thought in those 'unknown observers'. It means never insulting, and turning the other cheek. It means not always taking advantage of other peoples' weakness in writing by pointing out pointless flaws.

So members of MADB... I ask... what is your opinion on positive thinking? Would you be willing to use it, despite the difficulties? Can you have the humility and patience and restraint required?

Will you help the board become a haven of infecting positiveness that is unresistable to those who look?

Best Wishes, and I look forward to your responses; all of them will be appreciated =D.

Thanks,

TAO

[DarkScythe]

you are weird and I like you for it. Well being positive is always a good thing.

[TAO]

you are weird and I like you for it. Well being positive is always a good thing.

Thanks =D XD.

[Uncle Dale]

...

Will you help the board become a haven of infecting positiveness that

is unresistable to those who look?

...

>You say you got a real solution

>Well you know

>We'd all love to see the plan

>You ask me for a contribution

>Well you know

>We're all doing what we can..

But I suppose there is also a time for righteous wrath. I feel it on

occasion, when trying to converse with some of my atheist or nihilist

discussion partners.

And, when it comes to addressing blasphemy, I'd say that Jesus amongst

the money-changers may have offered us a good example to follow.

I'll try be positive -- yet not reinforce what I profess to be acts of

wickedness and iniquity, no matter where I meet with them.

Uncle Dale

[katherine the great]

I have a problem with people who are just consistently, blatently, unjustifiably rude. Most upsetting is that many of them are (or claim to be) believing LDS. I think it sets a very bad example for any non LDS who are lurking on the board and I have to wonder if it is just their true character shining through the cloak of anonymity. I can't even imagine some of the "brethren" on this board saying the things they post to a person sitting beside them in gospel doctrine class. So YES. I think a little kindness (or at least civility) would do this board good.

[mercyngrace]

I have a problem with people who are just consistently, blatently, unjustifiably rude. Most upsetting is that many of them are (or claim to be) believing LDS. I think it sets a very bad example for any non LDS who are lurking on the board and I have to wonder if it is just their true character shining through the cloak of anonymity. I can't even imagine some of the "brethren" on this board saying the things they post to a person sitting beside them in gospel doctrine class. So YES. I think a little kindness (or at least civility) would do this board good.

Sometimes I wish I could give more than one reputation point.

[nicolasconnault]

Sometimes I wish I could give more than one reputation point.

Don't worry, I just gave another one on your behalf

[nicolasconnault]

TAO I understand your point of view regarding positive thinking. If used concurrently with critical thinking (which doesn't mean criticising but using sound reasoning and judgement), it can help to de-emotionalise some discussions and focus on the issue being discussed instead of the people discussing them. Then everyone who wants to can learn something from it. When emotions gets thrown in, and people start to take sides against each other, very little benefit is derived, and no one really learns anything useful. I have made that mistake many times on this board and others, but I'm learning to be less judgemental.

[TAO]

I think I am going to run out of '+' gives for today... and I'm going to have to use up tomorrow's as well XD.

[Mudcat]

>You say you got a real solution

>Well you know

>We'd all love to see the plan

>You ask me for a contribution

>Well you know

>We're all doing what we can..

Reppers for da Beatles UD. Totally digged "Revolution". I hate they guys flaked out and tried to remake it.

@TAO

As I see it, many people spend quite a bit of discussion on dividing things on a very fine line. IMO these sorts of folks feel they are in the right for doing so. Such a view has it's advantages because you seem to know where everyone is coming from and its easy to take a hard line on any issue.

I suppose it is my hope that our Savior actually painted that line a bit broader than most would give him credit for. Though I know in my heart I stand upon ground that is harder than granite there are those that see it differently.

One of the big disadvantage to being a bit more open hearted about things is that people who are less open hearted will criticize you. Not only will the critics of your beliefs still criticize you but also the hard lining proponents of your faith will also.

The biggest advantage to such an outlook is that you spend more time building bridges and relationships than you do tearing them down.

Just some thoughts.

Regards,

Mudcat

[thesometimesaint]

You can trap more flies with honey than you vinegar. But who likes flies anyway.

The hardest critics to counter are the atheistic ones.

You are weird, but I like you anyway.

[mfbukowski]

I have a problem with people who are just consistently, blatently, unjustifiably rude. Most upsetting is that many of them are (or claim to be) believing LDS. I think it sets a very bad example for any non LDS who are lurking on the board and I have to wonder if it is just their true character shining through the cloak of anonymity. I can't even imagine some of the "brethren" on this board saying the things they post to a person sitting beside them in gospel doctrine class. So YES. I think a little kindness (or at least civility) would do this board good.

Yeah.

I suppose.

Unless that person really needs smashing.

[Libs]

Good thread, TAO. I think you are an excellent example of a "positive" and civil poster.

I prefer "civil" discussions, even if the subject is not always what we might call "positive". Religion, in general, is one of the more difficult topics to discuss, because (like politics) it can be highly volatile and people can get defensive very quickly, when the conversation is controversial.

I spent quite a bit of time on another board where the constant negative pounding gave me a cyber headache (and a real one, sometimes, as well!). Some people thrive on it, but it's not my cup of tea. I would leave that place feeling depressed, most of the time. I finally asked myself why I was participating in conversations that left me so unhappy....and finally left.

[katherine the great]

Yeah.

I suppose.

Unless that person really needs smashing.

Well, yes. And I admit that I've blasted a few but unfortunately they are usually the mean spirited LDS posters. I expect unjustified rudeness from hardened anti Mormons. It disturbs me infinitely more when it comes from people who claim to be faithful LDS. In light of this thread, I will try to be better.

[mfbukowski]

Well, yes. And I admit that I've blasted a few but unfortunately they are usually the mean spirited LDS posters. I expect unjustified rudeness from hardened anti Mormons. It disturbs me infinitely more when it comes from people who claim to be faithful LDS. In light of this thread, I will try to be better.

Well I wouldn't go THAT far!

But I will be glad to help you by reminding you of your resolution if you ever get mad at me!

[katherine the great]

Well I wouldn't go THAT far!

But I will be glad to help you by reminding you of your resolution if you ever get mad at me!

Thanks. . (Although you don't fall in to the category of people I was referring to.)

[Andrew Callahan]

I think positive thinking is a good outlook for life, and I think courteous discussion in general promotes greater understanding and harmony.

If I'm understanding TAO's question/intent, I think a more positive, courteous approach will be helpful and will lead to greater civility. I teach at a local college and in yesterday's lecture made the point that courteously listening to someone's perspective helps foster the exchange of ideas, but does not imply agreement with what is said. Sometimes respectful disagreements need to be voiced, but I also think that sometimes respectful disagreements need not be voiced, because it doesn't add anything new.

I'm all in favor of more positive thinking and affirming behavior.

[BCSpace]

I always think positively. My view is always right.