Publishing The Kirtland Egyptian Papers

[Scott Lloyd]

Sure, charity.

...

[Chris Smith]

Did you change your mind?

Yeah. The change will be reflected on the final program, or so I've been told.

[William Schryver]

Incidentally, for those who have an interest in such things, it looks like the FAIR conference schedule has now been finalized: 2010 FAIR Conference Schedule

With one glaring exception (the Friday 1:30 pm slot), it looks like a formidable lineup..

[charity]

Reading the titles is enough to figure me out, eh?

Of course. What you choose to say about a topic is only a little more imortant in "figuring you out" than what your choice of topic reveals about you.

[the narrator]

Incidentally, for those who have an interest in such things, it looks like the FAIR conference schedule has now been finalized: 2010 FAIR Conference Schedule

With one glaring exception (the Friday 1:30 pm slot), it looks like a formidable lineup..

So do we get to see your vita William?

[David Bokovoy]

So do we get to see your vita William?

I don't know about his vita but he can list me as an academic reference. Will is one smart cookie, who has devoted considerable attention to this specific topic, and the little bit I know about his presentation I find quite impressive. For me personally, hearing from Will will be one of the highlights of the conference.

[the narrator]

I don't know about his vita but he can list me as an academic reference. Will is one smart cookie, who has devoted considerable attention to this specific topic, and the little bit I know about his presentation I find quite impressive. For me personally, hearing from Will will be one of the highlights of the conference.

I'm sure that William is as brilliant as a bee. I'm just interested in what he has used that smart cookieness on, such as where (and what in) he got his degrees, what he has published, presented, etc.

[Chris Smith]

Hopefully I'll be able to get over to the FAIR Conference for Will and Gee in between Sunstone sessions.

[Chris Smith]

Of course. What you choose to say about a topic is only a little more imortant in "figuring you out" than what your choice of topic reveals about you.

Pentecostals, pluralism, American Indians, Orson Scott Card, gay rights, and the Book of Abraham?

I'm not gay, if that's what you're getting at.

[USU78]

Wait . . . Scott Card? Naw. Couldn't be.

His Folk of the Fringe was pert-near pornographic in a couple of spots.

USU "Okay, soft porn . . . in 1966" 78

[charity]

Pentecostals, pluralism, American Indians, Orson Scott Card, gay rights, and the Book of Abraham?

I'm not gay, if that's what you're getting at.

That never occurred to me. Are you paranoid?

But one phrase comes to mine. Jack of all trades and master of none?

[Chris Smith]

That never occurred to me. Are you paranoid?

It was a joke.

master of none?

Now that is something I know you can't tell just by reading the titles!

[William Schryver]

I'm sure that William is as brilliant as a bee. I'm just interested in what he has used that smart cookieness on, such as where (and what in) he got his degrees, what he has published, presented, etc.

Why, anybody can have a vita. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls through the halls of academia or slinks through slimy seas has a vita.

I have a mind uncorrupted by the pathogens of higher education.

William Schryver, Th.D, University of Oz, 2010, summa cum laude

[the narrator]

Why, anybody can have a vita. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls through the halls of academia or slinks through slimy seas has a vita.

I have a mind uncorrupted by the pathogens of higher education.

William Schryver, Th.D, University of Oz, 2010, summa cum laude

Well that's nice. Have you published anything? I know nothing of the great William other than his desire to push others out of the Church.

BTW, I thought you said goodbye to the board just recently.

[William Schryver]

Well that's nice. Have you published anything? I know nothing of the great William other than his desire to push others out of the Church.

I don't think anyone so inclined needs my help. All of them I've seen seem to have matters well in hand.

BTW, I thought you said goodbye to the board just recently.

My abiding affection for pretentious young would-be scholars and apostates-in-progress drew me back.

Call it my thorn in the flesh. Clearly it has a barb. Now I'm just waiting for the right mouse to come along ...

[the narrator]

I don't think anyone so inclined needs my help. All of them I've seen seem to have matters well in hand.

My abiding affection for pretentious young would-be scholars and apostates-in-progress drew me back.

Call it my thorn in the flesh. Clearly it has a barb. Now I'm just waiting for the right mouse to come along ...

So after all this bragging about your knowledge of the BofA, you haven't published a single thing on it?

I'm interested though, what research/training/education have you done to get the methodological tools to make the assessments that you do?

[William Schryver]

I don't know about his vita but he can list me as an academic reference. Will is one smart cookie, who has devoted considerable attention to this specific topic, and the little bit I know about his presentation I find quite impressive. For me personally, hearing from Will will be one of the highlights of the conference.

Stop already. I'm blushing.

Look, just because I offered you use of the guest house when you're in town doesn't mean you have to get all gushy on me.

But, in the way of enthusiastic reciprocation, I am very much looking forward to your further discussion of the (to me) extremely fascinating topic of the Council of the Gods. From what I have been able to learn to date, the extent to which the revelations of Joseph Smith reference the concept of the divine council is one of the strongest evidences of his having been divinely inspired.

[William Schryver]

So after all this bragging about your knowledge of the BofA, you haven't published a single thing on it?

I've been scribbling a few notes on napkins in the past several weeks. We'll have to see where that goes ...

I'm interested though, what research/training/education have you done to get the methodological tools to make the assessments that you do?

I once got a magnifying glass in a cracker jack box. It doesn't magnify very well, but it smells really good.

[the narrator]

I've been scribbling a few notes on napkins in the past several weeks. We'll have to see where that goes ...

I once got a magnifying glass in a cracker jack box. It doesn't magnify very well, but it smells really good.

I'm being serious. What are your qualifications?

[Mortal Man]

Incidentally, for those who have an interest in such things, it looks like the FAIR conference schedule has now been finalized: 2010 FAIR Conference Schedule

The schedule is satisfactory, but I'm a wee-bit concerned that 30 minutes will not be sufficient time for Prof. Gee to give you a proper introduction.

At any rate, do you mind if Kevin, Brent, Ed, Chris and myself all sit in the front row? I'm sure we'll have lots and lots of questions.

Now make sure that you've got your whereuntos and shagreels all sorted out and that your talk is lying before you at the commencement of your address. Oh, and don't skimp on the dittography, that's what really gets people's attention. I think you should hit them with dittographs here and dittographs there until they're positively dizzy with excitement. I think the world could use a lot more dittographs, don't you think? Also, if you run out of ink as you're making your notes, you can get another pen and keep right on writing in a completely different ink! And if your hand gets tired, you can have someone else take over for you. But make sure to check their work when they're done and if they didn't do a good job, then force them to make lots and lots of copies until they get it right. Then you can burn the first copy to punish them for their sloppiness; that's what I like to do (and I usually put a big red "Q" on it, for "Quit being sloppy!", before I toss it in the fireplace).

Finally, here's one last piece of advice, sometimes when your talk is really long and the lines are close together it's easy to lose your place, especially when two lines happen to end in the same word. A neat little trick for staying on track is to put little characters in the left hand margin of your notes as placeholders. The characters can be anything really, Greek, Arabic or whatever, why you can even invent them yourself if you like! Just be sure to put the characters in after you've already written your talk (and use a darker ink). I know this sounds like strange advice, but you'd be surprised how much confusion can result if you fail to follow this simple procedure.

[William Schryver]

The schedule is satisfactory, but I'm a wee-bit concerned that 30 minutes will not be sufficient time for Prof. Gee to give you a proper introduction.

At any rate, do you mind if Kevin, Brent, Ed, Chris and myself all sit in the front row? I'm sure we'll have lots and lots of questions.

Now make sure that you've got your whereuntos and shagreels all sorted out and that your talk is lying before you at the commencement of your address. Oh, and don't skimp on the dittography, that's what really gets people's attention. I think you should hit them with dittographs here and dittographs there until they're positively dizzy with excitement. I think the world could use a lot more dittographs, don't you think? Also, if you run out of ink as you're making your notes, you can get another pen and keep right on writing in a completely different ink! And if your hand gets tired, you can have someone else take over for you. But make sure to check their work when they're done and if they didn't do a good job, then force them to make lots and lots of copies until they get it right. Then you can burn the first copy to punish them for their sloppiness; that's what I like to do (and I usually put a big red "Q" on it, for "Quit being sloppy!", before I toss it in the fireplace).

Finally, here's one last piece of advice, sometimes when your talk is really long and the lines are close together it's easy to lose your place, especially when two lines happen to end in the same word. A neat little trick for staying on track is to put little characters in the left hand margin of your notes as placeholders. The characters can be anything really, Greek, Arabic or whatever, why you can even invent them yourself if you like! Just be sure to put the characters in after you've already written your talk (and use a darker ink). I know this sounds like strange advice, but you'd be surprised how much confusion can result if you fail to follow this simple procedure.

You always score highly on clever points. I admire that in a man. Even an apostate. It shows a pleasing (to me) predilection for not taking anything too seriously. That's good.

Now, as to dittographs and whatnot ... I doubt you'll hear me say more than a couple dozen words in reference to the Abraham manuscripts. They are interesting in their own right, I admit, and deserve attention at some future point in time. And although I could, if I so chose, conclusively demonstrate that the large dittograph in Ab2 is indubitably a visual copying error, I won't. Not at this juncture. Look for a discussion of those kinds of things in ... let's see, what will probably be Volume 8 of the SBA series.

Finally, I don't see any reason in the world why we shouldn't rope off an entire section for the apostates and apostates-in-progress. Normally, that would be at the back of the bus ... er, room, but perhaps the powers that be at FAIR could see fit to put you all down at the front.

They can pile the stones at the back.

[William Schryver]

I'm being serious.

I have no doubt you are. Indeed, you're so insufferably serious about this it has become positively somnambulistic.

What are your qualifications?

OK, now I'll be serious. What kinds of qualifications/research/training/education/etc. do you think would be requisite in order for one to speak to the topic of the meaning and purpose of the Kirtland Egyptian Papers?

What kinds of "methodological tools" do you think would serve one best in such a study?

[the narrator]

I have no doubt you are. Indeed, you're so insufferably serious about this it has become positively somnambulistic.

OK, now I'll be serious. What kinds of qualifications/research/training/education/etc. do you think would be requisite in order for one to speak to the topic of the meaning and purpose of the Kirtland Egyptian Papers?

What kinds of "methodological tools" do you think would serve one best in such a study?

I have no idea. But also, I don't pretend to be any sort of authority on anything. I'm still working on my GED.

You, however, do pretend to be an authority. That is why I am asking you what education/training you have that would make you such an authority.

Have you not published anything at all? With all of your talk and self-glorification you do on these boards, I would assume that you have put your expertise to print at least somewhere.

[Anijen]

I'm being serious. What are your qualifications?

His experience and knowledge of the remaining papryi, he has personally examined them more than once, has the trust and confidence of those experts whom have written many papers and books on the subject, Has the permission from the CoJCoLDS to do so, has been vetted and vouched by experts.

I think these qualifications are sufficient. They are more than Brent Metcalf and Chris Smith can say, but because Brent and Chris have a paper published makes them more special or more qualified? Okay I can agree with that it makes them more special and qualified with a critical eye and in my opinion seems no matter what is said by Gee, Hauglid, Schriver the critics are so invested in their myopic view they wouldn't budge if the Original BoA fell out of the sky and hit them on the head.

[wenglund]

I have no idea.

Obviously.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-