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How To Eat A Reese's, Ma&d Style

John Williams

By John Williams
in Miscellaneous

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Pahoran Grand Master

Pahoran

Posted
Posted
Pahoran: You're not even good enough to lick the wrapper of the Reese's Joseph Smith ate, and yet you dare to criticize him!

That was a very good effort. I think I can go one better, though:

"If you'd ever knowingly laid eyes on a believing Latter-day Saint, you'd know we almost never eat Reese's by hollowing them out from the middle, which might have spared you from making such a comprehensive fool of yourself."

Regards,

Pahoran

John Williams Rookie

John Williams

Posted
  • Author
Posted
That was a very good effort. I think I can go one better, though:

"If you'd ever knowingly laid eyes on a believing Latter-day Saint, you'd know we almost never eat Reese's by hollowing them out from the middle, which might have spared you from making such a comprehensive fool of yourself."

Regards,

Pahoran

Well done, Pahoran!

Doctor Steuss Mentor

Doctor Steuss

Posted
Posted
Dr. Steuss: Reese's are easy to eat for people with dentures. If you like them so much, you must be old.

Scott Lloyd: When my father Abraham took my brother up on the mountain, my brother's life was spared when a Reese's was provided in a bush to take my brother's place. I'm old.

Bat-Man Newbie

Bat-Man

Posted
Posted

Oh! I didn't realize we could offer suggestions to improve the OP efforts!

Here ya go:

Paul Ray: If you see a Reese's, with God showing you that there is a Reese's, you can then know without doubt there is actually a Reese's regardless of what anyone else will tell you.

I'm not sure how I got associated with people who base their personal testimonies on what people... other than God... have told them. Scriptures are basically written testimonies from people who have shared what they have seen, and/or what they have witnessed, and I prefer to gain my testimony by direct communication with God while God is personally bearing His witness to me.

Scott Lloyd Grand Master

Scott Lloyd

Posted
Posted
Oh! I didn't realize we could offer suggestions to improve the OP efforts!

Here ya go:

Paul Ray: If you see a Reese's, with God showing you that there is a Reese's, you can then know without doubt there is actually a Reese's regardless of what anyone else will tell you.

I'm not sure how I got associated with people who base their personal testimonies on what people... other than God... have told them. Scriptures are basically written testimonies from people who have shared what they have seen, and/or what they have witnessed, and I prefer to gain my testimony by direct communication with God while God is personally bearing His witness to me.

Don't muddy-up a light-hearted thread by making a speech.

selek Rising Star

selek

Posted
Posted
Don't muddy-up a light-hearted thread by making a speech.

Burn him! Burn him.......................!

I mean.......um.....Ban him! Ban him!

Sorry, got a little caught up in the moment......though I agree with your advice. :crazy:;)

And Stuess, I think you got your narrative wrong.

Weren't you the one caught in the thicket?

:P

Log Veteran

Log

Posted
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I got one:

Soren: There are not two separate Reeses cups in the package, but two distinct Reeses cups; moreover, this position is supremely lucid and rational, unlike the competing positions.

Doctor Steuss Mentor

Doctor Steuss

Posted
Posted
[...]

And Stuess, I think you got your narrative wrong.

Weren't you the one caught in the thicket?

:P

You have confused me with Urroner (who, as it happens, is also old).

;)

Mudcat Mentor

Mudcat

Posted
Posted
Ah...I feel all left out. :P

Rommelator:

1. Reese's are delicious.

2. You may be critical of Reese's, but that doesn't mean they are not delicious

3. Furthermore, your accusations that eating Reese's are a violation of the WoW are incredulously unfounded.

see this article http://www.farms.byu.edu/Joseph/Smith/ate/Reese's

Edit add -

Urroner: I decided to create a poll about eating Reese's......

Bat-Man Newbie

Bat-Man

Posted
Posted
Don't muddy-up a light-hearted thread by making a speech.

Sheesh. Tough crowd.

Would it help if I said that it was intended as more of a commentary, instead of a speech, kinda like the commentaries you can listen to while you are watching a funny movie with a robot and dog to talk to?

Mudcat Mentor

Mudcat

Posted
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Chronos is free game. However Chaos that's a whole different story. :P

We are well aware.

No one would dare do a thing like

Chaos: Everyone knows that there is real peanut butter inside of a Reese's...you can think about it while you take a 5,000 year break.

**Please note, this wasn't a real parody...just an example of a real parody not to make.

Edit add - Real Parody

Bat-Man: I know you think you are eating a Reese's, but its not a real Reece's. To tell you the truth, you don't really want to know what that thing you are eating is. How do I know its not Reece's. Because you don't have the authority to eat Reese's. I'm just trying to help you.

Silver Knight: Do you really believe God would eternally punish those who don't like Reese's? What about the people who never got to try a Reese's? Do they get to burn just because they have never eaten a Reese's? I just don't believe God would do that. Here.....do you want one of my Reese's?

Rommelator Apprentice

Rommelator

Posted
Posted
Rommelator:

1. Reese's are delicious.

2. You may be critical of Reese's, but that doesn't mean they are not delicious

3. Furthermore, your accusations that eating Reese's are a violation of the WoW are incredulously unfounded.

see this article http://www.farms.byu.edu/Joseph/Smith/ate/Reese's

Edit add -

Urroner: I decided to create a poll about eating Reese's......

Haha! Very funny! Spot on! That is why you are one of my favs Mudcat!

However, I was thinking something more along these lines...

Rommelator: The fact is that we don't have all of Joseph Smith's candy collection. Furthermore, Oliver Cowdry said that Joseph Smith's candy wrapper was red, but the wrapper found in the 60's is blue, which means that it could not have been the wrapper Joseph Smith was talking about. So the fact he called something a Reese's and modern Candyologists call it a Snickers is irrelevant to say the least. On such, please see the following: www.farms.byu.edu/Joseph/Smith/Reese's/Collection

Mudcat Mentor

Mudcat

Posted
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Rommelator: The fact is that we don't have all of Joseph Smith's candy collection. Furthermore, Oliver Cowdry said that Joseph Smith's candy wrapper was red, but the wrapper found in the 60's is blue, which means that it could not have been the wrapper Joseph Smith was talking about. So the fact he called something a Reese's and modern Candyologists call it a Snickers is irrelevant to say the least. On such, please see the following: www.farms.byu.edu/Joseph/Smith/Reese's/Collection

Candyologists :P .....thats a new one. You do a much better you than me....

John W: (in response to Rommelator) I understand what your saying. But wasn't it rumored that Rigdon actually was the mastermind behind the peanut butter cup though some would say he 'stole' the idea from Solomon Spalding. Isn't it also rumored that in Rigdon's later years he sold the idea of the peanut butter cup to an entrepreneurial Rigdonite who was known as Hershey Reese?

Rommelator Apprentice

Rommelator

Posted
Posted
Candyologists :P .....thats a new one. You do a much better you than me....

John W: (in response to Rommelator) I understand what your saying. But wasn't it rumored that Rigdon actually was the mastermind behind the peanut butter cup though some would say he 'stole' the idea from Solomon Spalding. Isn't it also rumored that in Rigdon's later years he sold the idea of the peanut butter cup to an entrepreneurial Rigdonite who was known as Hershey Reese?

LOL! Mudcat, you crack me up every time!! ;)

ttribe Grand Master

ttribe

Posted
Posted
LOL! Mudcat, you crack me up every time!! :P

Reese's apparently have two great benefits:

1) Tastes like thousands of tiny angels dancing on your tongue (in other words - fantastic);

2) Unites Critic and Apologist in laughter and fun! ;)

Who knew?

Tsuzuki Mentor

Tsuzuki

Posted
Posted
Chronos is free game. However Chaos that's a whole different story. :P

"The 'thing' responsible for the origin and continued action of events is called
Chaos
by magicians. It could as well be called God or Tao, but the name
Chaos
is virtually meaningless, and free from the childish, anthropomorphic ideas of religion.
Chaos
is also the force which adds increasing complexity to the universe by spawning structures which were not inherent in its component parts."

- Peter J. Carroll,
Liber Null

Mudcat Mentor

Mudcat

Posted
Posted
John W: (in response to Rommelator) I understand what your saying. But wasn't it rumored that Rigdon actually was the mastermind behind the peanut butter cup though some would say he 'stole' the idea from Solomon Spalding. Isn't it also rumored that in Rigdon's later years he sold the idea of the peanut butter cup to an entrepreneurial Rigdonite who was known as Hershey Reese?

I'll stop after this one....

Consiglieri: (In response to John W Parody)

Your statement is one school of thought on the matter. However, I have found two interesting fact. First the peanut, or Groundnut (Arachis hypogaea), is a species in the legume family Fabaceae native to South America, Mexico and Central America. Secondly I am sure you are well aware that the origin of chocolate is from this exact same region. It is also known that relics of the usage of chocolate and peanuts as food items were found during the Classical period in Meso America.

Considering this, wouldn't you at least agree that its possible that these peoples from that region could have, prior to the modern day marketing of the concept of the peanut butter cup by Hershey Reese, developed a chocolate and peanut butter combination on their own.

This may not be a 'nail in the coffin' for the origin of the peanut butter cup, but surely you would find this information a compelling case, to say the least.

All the Best,

Mudcat Mentor

Mudcat

Posted
Posted
Too funny guys. Mudcat don't make that your last. You are just getting started.

Apparently it won't be my last...

I am afraid I am addicted..and can't control myself...

Sargon: You argument that the ECF's (Early Chocolate Founders) had no comparison to the present day Reese's manufacturing facility is tu quoque and does nothing to support your claim of the presence of peanut butter at Council of Chocolate 325 AD.

Lamanite Rising Star

Lamanite

Posted
Posted

I forgot to tell you guys that I gave up on the reese's, so I went and bought a pack of Newport's and a 40oz. Of Old English.

I feel better now!

Big Up!

Lamanite

emeliza Grand Master

emeliza

Posted
Posted
I forgot to tell you guys that I gave up on the reese's, so I went and bought a pack of Newport's and a 40oz. Of Old English.

Newports? What the heck. You need to switch to Kool's. Duh

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