Local author to share his story of finding belonging as an openly gay Latter-day Saint

[MrShorty]

2 hours ago, Islander said:

How about his poor wife and children? As a woman, how do you believe she feels about her husband making public the fact that he actually doesn't like women. He can engage with her, but he rather be with a man. No one is thinking about what this ordeal means for her. Most women are devastated when they find out their husbands are involved with pornography. It has led to divorce in some instances. Imagine her scenario.

Important questions to ask. Recognizing that my "interactions" with Preston and his wife Taryn are limited to a few podcast episodes -- including one specifically where Preston and Sky invited their wives onto the podcast -- I don't get the impression that Preston is somehow running roughshod over Taryn's feelings and wishes in putting himself out there as a gay man in a mixed orientation marriage. It is certainly possible that she is putting on a brave face for the public cameras, but I'm not seeing it.

Personally, I have disagreed with much of what Preston has said on the podcast. Mostly because he expresses very orthodox LDS beliefs about LGBT issues and my own beliefs are much more heterodox or even heretical. In spite of those differences of opinion, I feel it is important for me to let Preston and Taryn speak into my space without preconception or otherwise trying to find these kind of issues behind the public mask. What if my preconceptions are wrong and Taryn really is perfectly happy to be married to Preston and perfectly happy to let him be a public example of an LDS LGBT person who is doing his best to believe and practice in line with other orthodox members of the church? I don't think it is my place to try to imagine up unto myself all the possible ways that Preston could be mistreating or disrespecting his wife.

Edited June 20, 2023 by MrShorty

[smac97]

An article summarizing Preston's presentation (written by a student at BYU-Idaho, I suspect) : 

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On June 10 at the Rexburg Tabernacle, Preston Jenkins, author of “This Boy and His Mother,”  presented what he has learned through his experience as a gay member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by studying doctrine, discovering therapy and developing a relationship with his wife.

Jenkins was borne by his mother and the Savior, according to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and himself. With their help, he was able to make it through what he refers to as the “dark ages” of his life. 

That second paragraph probably deserved a re-write or two.

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Jenkins knew he was gay in high school, and always thought it was something he would keep between himself, his future wife and God.

However, every time he had that thought, immediately following it came the thought from the Holy Ghost that one day he would need to talk about his sexual orientation.

Now he has and spoken in Atlanta, Las Vegas and Salt Lake City, in addition to his recent talk in Rexburg.

“It was a wonderful spiritual feast,” said Jess Ambrose, a junior studying communication.

The central theme of his experiences centers on a principle from the Book of Mormon found in Alma 42:27:

“Therefore, O my son, whosoever will come may come and partake of the waters of life freely; and whosoever will not come the same is not compelled to come; but in the last day it shall be restored unto him according to his deeds.”

“I didn’t heal much until I wanted to,” Jenkins said.

An important point, this.

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In a world where many seek freedom in self-expression, John 8:32 offers an alternative: “The truth shall make you free.”

The principle that doctrinal truths come in pairs helps others to understand this. When a principle is separated from its pair, it’s likely misunderstood, according to Jenkins. 

Jenkins gave some examples:

— Faith and repentance

— Baptism of water and baptism of spirit

— Love and law

Similarly, seemingly contradictory ideas can coexist, but within a hierarchy:

— One is always greater than another. One is good, but the other is greater.

— Testimony can be good but conversion is better.

— Authenticity can be good but discipleship is better.

— The LGBT community can be good but Zion is better.

Understanding these principles’ differing levels of importance brings clarity, according to Jenkins. 

I like the comments about the hierarchy.  This does not get enough attention.

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Jenkins, 30, is married to Taryn Jenkins, with their first child on the way. But he didn’t always see how it could turn out like that. 

They tried dating in 2018 after he returned from completing his mission, but because he was more focused on checking off boxes and following a non-existent timeline set by the unseen forces of society, things didn’t work out. Some examples of those checkboxes included holding hands by the third date and picking names for your children by the fifth date, according to Jenkins.

Jenkins decided that when he saw an attractive man, he’d find joy in identifying that at their core, those feelings of attraction were good. He could save them for his wife one day instead of feeling guilty and hating himself for having them.

“I cannot control my attractions,” Jenkins said. “But changing your heart is something that’s in your power.”

The second time they began dating, which eventually led to marriage, they were able to have extremely candid conversations about relationships, what really mattered to them and what they wanted because they were “just friends.” 

“We do this as a culture, I don’t think every culture does this — We sexualize everything,” said Andra Hansen, a BYU-Idaho communication professor who attended the event. “Everything is about the physical, sexual aspect of it and I don’t want to minimize that … but I think we make it so much about that, that it starts to feel really binary. Like, it’s either-or. Either I’m this or I’m that … And it’s like there’s a lot of levels of being true to yourself that (Jenkins) was able to reveal nuance there.”

These conversations brought them closer together spiritually, emotionally and intellectually in a way that physical intimacy was the next natural step. 

He was able to see her soul. Christlike attributes are more important than attraction, according to Jenkins.

“Attraction cannot be the foundation,” Jenkins said.

I wonder what he means by "attraction" in that last sentence.  I suspect he means physical/sexual.

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Jenkins and his wife received mixed reactions from the LGBT community about their mixed-orientation marriage. Some thought he wasn’t being true to himself and others had “you do you” attitudes.

“I wouldn’t even put it in our top three (biggest issues in our marriage),” Jenkins said concerning his sexuality.

Jenkins shared in response to audience members’ questions that he plans on being open with his children, in an age-appropriate way, about his sexuality and life experiences.

“I was very grateful for his response to that question,” Hansen said. “Because I thought, we’re in such a mood to just like, shut it down, don’t deal with it, take it off the shelf. It’s a fear-based mentality that isn’t gonna promote faith. You might get compliance but you’re not gonna get faith.”

Interesting stuff, and a perspective that deserves to be voiced.

Thanks,

-Smac

[The Nehor]

On 6/16/2023 at 3:35 PM, Islander said:

What a horrendously selfish and insensitive thing to do! That is the textbook definition of narcissism. Why publish the fact that you have abnormal biological urges, which by the way, acting on such would run you against the pillars of the theology of your community. Why wave the gay post sign over your wife and family, that in spite of your struggles with sexuality, are willing to stay and attempt to help you have a normal life in the church? Why subject them to the notoriety and attention for your own selfish needs for attention, aggrandizement, success and special treatment? I wonder what would happen if someone came out as an openly non-active pedophile? Or how about openly restrained adulterer?

What a loser.

And I am late to this but did you really go with gay people being comparable to pedophiles? Is that hardwired in some people’s brains? Just some kind of reflexive comparison?

Because it is gross.