LOSTONE Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 Well, I am not sure if this is the right way to say it. My heart needs? My heart wants? It’s family. It’s always has been family for me. My heart and soul for family and I have none. I always new I was a family man at the core of who I am no matter the trash I cover myself up with and others see. I never had a real family growing up. I was adopted at age 2 ½ into a very abusive and dysfunctional group of people who happen to be related to each other. They were never family. There was no real love, just sugar coated crap to fake love for what they wanted at the time. No true connections or meaning among them beyond their abuse and dysfunction. As an adult, with my ex, I thought I found what I was looking for. What my heart and soul could melt into with such joy for ever and ever. Than my daughter was born and boom, I had the family I always wanted. But being the jerk I was, after so many fights between my ex and me, I just gave up on caring or investing into my marriage emotionally. That was the end of any family I had or could of had. That was my death. Now that my ex and daughter visited for several weeks for the Christmas season, I reconnected to the thoughts and feelings of family again. I felt alive and happy. I had family again. But they had to leave and along with my moment of family. I had to die again in heart and soul when they left. Is my heart and soul needing a family or wanting a family? Does it matter if it is a need or a want? I just know what I feel and I know it’s 100 percent real and it hurts like hell and there is no solution for the pain. None. I am so falling depressed. What good is a man without the love of family? Without family, life seems so pointless. Anyways...
theplains Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 What good is a man without the love of family? Without family, life seems so pointless. Anyways... May you find comfort in these words of Christ. "For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it". Singleness is a gift of God for some. See this talk. Jim 1
Garden Girl Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Hello LOSTONE... I wish there were words of wisdom that I could give you... but at least I can encourage you to be positive. I encourage you to pray of course... even fast... for guidance. You never know what lies ahead of you... put your trust in the Lord...You may know from my posts that I'm widowed, no children, and have been alone for the past 16 years since my husband passed away. So I can relate to what you're saying... but I have the comfort of my faith in my temple ordinances and sealing to my husband so I don't feel "alone." That faith is truly comforting... Prayers that you find peace and comfort... GG
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