Developing An Understanding Between Mormons And Exmormons.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

http://mormonstories.org/top-5-myths-and-truths-about-why-committed-mormons-leave-the-church/

I know that some exmormons (myself included) have been, to verying degrees, inneffective at developing an understanding with true beleiving mormons. A few of us exmormons feel intentionally decieved, and try to act out in different ways. For example, when I go to exmormon.org, I see that we sometimes come across as angry, or are angry. We sometimes are thinking that we are above the behavior and percieved fallacious rational that we spend time complaining about on that board when we have, or do engage in that behavior, or in beleiving an assortment of fallacies. I am personally working on it. Here is a video to help mormons to bridge the gap, and show greater love for exmormons, as all of us exmormons should do the same. It details some reasons that exmormons leave the church community and what to do about it from the authors beleiving mormon perspective. I would also like to add that to this video that some mormons leave the church for philosophical reasons, or develope them after they leave. Or decide that it is healthiest for them to overhaul the methodology in determining their beleifs

What are some things that you feel that exmormons can do to restore relationships with true beleiving mormons?

[rpn]

Well, coming here and telling us what you think we (those of us who are lds at least) don't know and should know, as your first post would be one thing I wouldn't do if I were really trying to restore relationships.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

http://mormonstories.org/top-5-myths-and-truths-about-why-committed-mormons-leave-the-church/

I know that some exmormons (myself included) have been, to verying degrees, inneffective at developing an understanding with true beleiving mormons. A few of us exmormons feel intentionally decieved, and try to act out in different ways. For example, when I go to exmormon.org, I see that we sometimes come across as angry, or are angry. We sometimes are thinking that we are above the behavior and percieved fallacious rational that we spend time complaining about on that board when we have, or do engage in that behavior, or in beleiving an assortment of fallacies. I am personally working on it. Here is a video to help mormons to bridge the gap, and show greater love for exmormons, as all of us exmormons should do the same. It details some reasons that exmormons leave the church community and what to do about it from the authors beleiving mormon perspective. I would also like to add that to this video that some mormons leave the church for philosophical reasons, or develope them after they leave. Or decide that it is healthiest for them to overhaul the methodology in determining their beleifs

What are some things that you feel that exmormons can do to restore relationships with true beleiving mormons?

It has been my experience that when someone is "left to kick among the pricks"...no pun intended, just quoted Christ, it is hard. But in fairness not all ex-mo's fall under that definition...sometimes it is the Mo's as well. I am a big fan of understanding, I have experienced hate from never-mo's, but nothing like I have experienced from some who used to call me brother.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

Your right. Fostering understanding is important. Searching for all the good aspects of each person is important. Sometimes the rift between hurt feelings isnt as deep as they appear, and can be fixed through applying this principle. Sometimes the rift between us appears larger than it is when we focus on the moments when are anger flashes. And because of that, we are frightened from making reconciliation

[ERayR]

I am not trying to be snarky but it is my opinion that if you really want to be an ex-Mormon that life would be so much simpler if you just moved on to interests that brought you some peace and happiness. Continually gnawing at the bone and telling telling believing members how wrong they are is not the way to develop friendship and understanding.

But that's just me.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

Your right ErayR one should avoid telling others how wrong they are. Looking for ways to lift each other up is sooo important. I am greatful for the example that many mormons set. They have sought to teach without focusing on tearing other people down.nthat was a big focus from what I recall when I went to the MTC.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

I feel that many exmormons and atheists should do more to involve themselves in the communities from which they have derived their values. An exmormon atheist who spent many years as a a true beleiving mormon is still a mormon in many respects.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

Many of us exmormon atheists would seveirly shortchange ouselves if we resigned ourselves to our own community. For example, I live in a very religious community. I do not know any atheists, at least any that are out of the closet. All of my family and neighbors are atheist. And to be honest, I still feel more comfortable around mormons than I do many others because that is who ive spent my life with. I do seak out occasions to expand my horizan of friends, but that is difficult because I have social anxiety disorder. I am certain that some others are also in my shoes as well

[exmormonatheistofutah]

Are "not" atheists oops

[ERayR]

Your right ErayR one should avoid telling others how wrong they are. Looking for ways to lift each other up is sooo important. I am greatful for the example that many mormons set. They have sought to teach without focusing on tearing other people down.nthat was a big focus from what I recall when I went to the MTC.

If you wouldn't be offended I would like to ask a question but first I must preface it with this. I have lived a good long time and have known quite a few people who have left the church for a variety of reasons. Some having their name removed and others just ceasing activity in and contact with the church. A few(very few) have become obsessed with proving to everybody the church was a fraud. Now for my question. Why, if you have ceased to believe, do do you want the church and the believing members to "understand" your position pertaining to the church? For me if I do not believe it is not important enough to spend time and effort on. This by the way is the attitude of the vast majority of those I know who have left the church. They are just too involved with family, freinds and community to worry about the church they left. To me that is the healthiest approach to take.

[ERayR]

I feel that many exmormons and atheists should do more to involve themselves in the communities from which they have derived their values. An exmormon atheist who spent many years as a a true beleiving mormon is still a mormon in many respects.

Then spend time with your Mormon friends, enjoy each others company and don't pick at the scab.

[ERayR]

Many of us exmormon atheists would seveirly shortchange ouselves if we resigned ourselves to our own community. For example, I live in a very religious community. I do not know any atheists, at least any that are out of the closet. All of my family and neighbors are atheist. And to be honest, I still feel more comfortable around mormons than I do many others because that is who ive spent my life with. I do seak out occasions to expand my horizan of friends, but that is difficult because I have social anxiety disorder. I am certain that some others are also in my shoes as well

See my post # 11

[exmormonatheistofutah]

And the LDS prophets have accepted upon themselves to be prophets of the whole earth. That is what they have told me. That means that they have decided to caring stewards for all. I am sure that they would be accepting of all who wish to be part of their community, so long as they are respectful. Atheists that now call themselves exmormons can choose to associated with mainstream mormon communities even if every beleif does not agree. Most of them have vastly more beleifs and values in common than they have differences.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

Reading your posts now.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

But the church is not a scab to me. It has been a huge blessing in my life.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

But a few have difficulties understanding how a proclaimed atheist who no longer beleives some of their beleifs could have this view. Often we are avoided, unfortunately.

[ERayR]

But the church is not a scab to me. It has been a huge blessing in my life.

But it seems to be a scab(irritant). You say it is a blessing then enjoy it don't pick at it hoping somehow the church(through its leaders) will validate your choices. They can't validate atheism. It conflicts with the basis of the church. You should be secure enough in your choices to be comfortable enough to socialize with the church and its members without their validation.

[ERayR]

But a few have difficulties understanding how a proclaimed atheist who no longer beleives some of their beleifs could have this view. Often we are avoided, unfortunately.

That is indeed unfortunate but it shouldn't even come up if you are not making it an issue or topic of conversation.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

How do you mean by validation? I know that they will never validate my beleif that they have not presented what I deem as valid evidense for God, ut their hearts have wholely been in the right place. I see that beleif in god is only a small part of a much larger picture, at least according to me. You may disagree with me and I accept that. I will even encourage you in every beleif thtat encourages happiness for all, even if that is beleif in a God. I would love to beleive in your concept of god for myself if I found evidence that I agree with. Your religion is awesome!

[EllenMaksoud]

I feel that many exmormons and atheists should do more to involve themselves in the communities from which they have derived their values. An exmormon atheist who spent many years as a a true beleiving mormon is still a mormon in many respects.

I was Muslim, and still am in many respects, yet I recognize the need to be respectful to Muslims without in turn disrespecting Mormons. Some times I feel some hostility to ex mormons because I do not understand their point of view. I am a work in progress.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

There are many things in the LDS faith that I love which I have applied to my life. I focus my life around serving society at large. I know that families can be a great blessing to, and I want one of my own so much. I wholely agree with the churches view of chastity before marriage and accept that moral for myself. The whole being honest and humble are awesome principles to live by. I deeply enjoyed the feelings of peace that I felt in the temples. And sharing truths with others like missionaries strive for is really good too. The Book of Mormon is an enjoyable read with many essential ethics to bring mankind happiness. There are many more things I like.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

Exmormons have many different points of view, perhaps that is why it can be so difficult?

[exmormonatheistofutah]

I let mormons know that I am an exmormon atheist because there is prejudice among some towards exmormons and atheists. If they recognize that I am not a bad guy, that they can trust me, that we exmormons and atheists are as good of people as they, then some who suffer emotionally from prejudice can overcome that , resulting in greater peace.

[ERayR]

I let mormons know that I am an exmormon atheist because there is prejudice among some towards exmormons and atheists. If they recognize that I am not a bad guy, that they can trust me, that we exmormons and atheists are as good of people as they, then some who suffer emotionally from prejudice can overcome that , resulting in greater peace.

Thanks for answering my questions.

[exmormonatheistofutah]

Your welcome