Messenger Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) I just curious what we would talk about if we weren't bashing women? Of course, we could start a topic like this for a nice change. I am curious though, why there are never conference talks about why women are staying single? Not to bash them at all, be we could just go on and on an on with the topic blaring all over blogs, forums and high priest meetings to try and figure it out. If men WERE to do that, and I am not saying they are, that might explain why men aren't married. But alas, it could be for many different reasons none of which are anybody else's business besides the Lords and the single person.I think any thread that singles out a particular sex as not being married to the opposite sex is well, sexist! Logically it takes one of each to get married. I have all the respect in the world for our General Authorities, but I think they sometimes we members miss the boat when they talk about men who like to hang out with other men and have trucks with "big wheels" as an excuse for not getting married. Perhaps we members are taking it out of context, and it was just a joke. But really, there are many talks on the subject and none of which I have seen that talks about women, and why they aren't married.To me, it might be wise, and I certainly invite the FORUM MODERATORS to encourage this, why not talk about why PEOPLE aren't getting married? These topics might include the following...Mental and emotional damage from a previous spouse.Disabilities that preclude building relationships of trust.Lack of confidence due to incessant judgement of others.Why singles feel alienated due to lack of ward activities.Why singles rarely serve on ward councils, even though they are worthy in every other sense?Perhaps some scriptures would be good to actually figure out the doctrine that is at the root of the problem... rather than fantasy policy ...Mathew 2236 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.38 This is the first and great commandment.39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.This is probably the hardest concept for Mormons (and I am one of you) to understand, yet its the very concept that all the commandments are built. We do tend to exclude and even judge someone else then justify it whenever there is a conference talk on it. Most of the time, if not all of the time, those talks are taken out of context. Perhaps we should love the sinner (if even we can call them that), regardless of what we think. There's probably a scripture on that too. But I think I have made my point. Perhaps we should try reaching out more than trying to separate people.Perhaps its was best said by Elder James E. FaustSource: Reaching the One"During the past few months, we have spent many hours listening. Most of the single adult members are well adjusted to life and its problems, but they still need the loving attention from the Church and its members to reaffirm their usefulness and the love that God has for each of them. They are not problem people, but many have problems, often not of their own making ......The proper and rightful focus of the Church on the home and the family frequently causes the single members who have no companion and family to feel left out. One writes, “Many members of the Church treat a divorcee as if she had leprosy. I have lived in a certain LDS ward in Salt Lake for several years, where they had a widows’ and widowers’ party every year at Christmas time. I was never invited. I have always lived a good life and believe the Savior would have invited me. I am acquainted with some who have experienced both death and divorce, and they say that divorce is worse than death.”......We must begin by trying to reach the one—every single individual. We want all to feel that they belong to the Church in the context of Paul’s message to the Ephesians: “… ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God.” (Eph. 2:19.) In our minds we draw two circles: one for the Young Adults, who are of the ages 18 to 25 and include all, whether at home, away from home, on campus, on missions, or in the military, within the circle. We draw another circle and include all of those age 26 and over in the Special Interests, whether never married, widow, widower, or divorced. Everyone who is single belongs in one of these two circles. There are none who are outside the circles."So, I think the core of this issue is to reach out, not to judge. And I think you have to ask yourself a simple question ... are my actions reaching out?Mark Edited March 18, 2012 by Messenger
Duncan Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 For some reason, all that comes to mind is: nightmare!
Messenger Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 I'm closely watching how the moderators will react.
mercyngrace Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 nightmare!Hey ~ If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it...
mercyngrace Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I'm closely watching how the moderators will react.Hit the report button, if you are so inclined, messenger. It was just a reaction to the thread title "Single Women...", "Single Ladies".Not to mention, it's offensive to both men and women, so I'm heeding your counsel in the OP to avoid gender bias.
Messenger Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 For some reason, all that comes to mind is:It may be the result of a personal problem
selek1 Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I just curious what we would talk about if we weren't bashing women? Of course, we could start a topic like this for a nice change. I am curious though, why there are never conference talks about why women are staying single? Not to bash them at all, be we could just go on and on an on with the topic blaring all over blogs, forums and high priest meetings to try and figure it out. If men WERE to do that, and I am not saying they are, that might explain why men aren't married. But alas, it could be for many different reasons none of which are anybody else's business besides the Lords and the single person.I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that this thread isn't just a tu quoque stick-in-the-eye to the mods and offer the following article I found to be salient:http://online.wsj.com/article/best_of_the_web_today.html
Duncan Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Hey ~ If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it...yeah! SuffeRING!
mercyngrace Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 It may be the result of a personal problemI posted something humorous and you reacted with a personal insult.I'm closely watching how the moderators will react.
followerofemmanuel Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) For some reason, all that comes to mind is: I've been scarred for life (lol) Edited March 18, 2012 by followerofemmanuel
Messenger Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 Lets just clear the topic up - Its a logic exersize in why we segment men from women when it comes to the subject of marriage and why they are not. I hope that clears it up for you!
Mormonme Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 For some reason, all that comes to mind is: Hey Mercyngrace,Want a new gay best friend? That video has got me seriously laughing.Thank You!
mercyngrace Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Hey Mercyngrace,Want a new gay best friend? That video has got me seriously laughing.Thank You!Mormonme, Keep up with the topic, dude. I don't group my friends by gender or sexual preference. I'm an equal opportunity friend. (Just don't dance in front of me in a leotard...) 2
Mormonme Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 But... On a more serious note... (Still laughing)Why people aren't getting married?No 6. The Mormon Religion opposes Gay Marriage. (That's right, the gays, your neighbors, who you're supposed to love)PS Being Gay is not a sin - It's part of nature. Within every species on the planet there is a small percentage of homosexuals (Roughly 5%) - including human beings.If you don't like it? Simple... Don't put a ring on it! LOL.
volgadon Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Of course, we could start a topic like this for a nice change. I am curious though, why there are never conference talks about why women are staying single?Probably because most GAs are of a time and mindset where the man is supposed to take the initiative and propose. Add to this the notion that as priesthood holder the man should be taking iniatives and leading.
volgadon Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 But... On a more serious note... (Still laughing)Why people aren't getting married?No 6. The Mormon Religion opposes Gay Marriage.I'm not sure that at all explains why more LDS men and women aren't getting married to each other.
blackstrap Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) most GAs are of the generation in which the male did the asking/persuing and so approach the subject accordingly. Also,perhaps,men are perceived as able to take criticism better(ie. they let it roll off and do what they want anyway)Sorry,volgadon,we posted at the same time,but you won. Edited March 18, 2012 by blackstrap
Messenger Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 Mercyngrace,Thanks for your posts. Those that are savvy on human nature will understand your automatic linking to single men as "the first thought that comes to mind" to a gay video. Hilarious as the video is, (and I hope I am not offending you by saying that), you seem to have proved my point. Bravo! But, however hilarious the video is, it doesn't hold a candle to you! It is interesting to see how your mind works. All I can say is wow! You had less than 15 minutes to discover a gay man in tights and post the video on my thread. It would have taken me hours (and several nautious, yet hysterical hours) to do what you did in minutes! Bravo, and Bravo!I would love to compare your Favorites list to mine!Mark
Duncan Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 most GAs are of the generation in which the male did the asking/persuing and so approach the subject accordingly. Also,perhaps,men are perceived as able to take criticism better(ie. they let it roll off and do what they want anyway)also too just because something worked out them then doesn't mean it will work out for you here and now, as in jobs and education. Back when my dad could support his family working at Eaton's now unless you owned the place (yes I know Eaton's is gonzo But a dept. store) then you couldn't really do it
Mormonme Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) I'm not sure that at all explains why more LDS men and women aren't getting married to each other.Well... The Gay Mormon men could marry the other Gay Mormon Men and the Gay Mormon Women could marry the other Gay Mormon Women.That way everybody could be happy? Edited March 18, 2012 by Mormonme
Messenger Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) most GAs are of the generation in which the male did the asking/persuing and so approach the subject accordingly.Would that be considered doctrine, policy or tradition? Edited March 18, 2012 by Messenger
mercyngrace Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Mercyngrace,Thanks for your posts. Those that are savvy on human nature will understand your automatic linking to single men as "the first thought that comes to mind" to a gay video. Hilarious as the video is, (and I hope I am not offending you by saying that), you seem to have proved my point. Bravo! But, however hilarious the video is, it doesn't hold a candle to you! It is interesting to see how your mind works. All I can say is wow! You had less than 15 minutes to discover a gay man in tights and post the video on my thread. It would have taken me hours (and several nautious, yet hysterical hours) to do what you did in minutes! Bravo, and Bravo!I would love to compare your Favorites list to mine!MarkAh, more personal insults. I can't imagine why you have trouble with women.Mark, that video went viral on facebook over a year ago and the dancer (I don't know if he is gay or not) was supposedly invited on stage to dance with Beyonce. It was something of a human interest story that caught national attention hence the video was super easy to find on youtube.If you really want to know how my mind works, just ask and I'll tell you.In fact, here's a freebie:I like long walks on the beach, thunderstorms, and gardening. My favorite colors are rich, dark, blues, greens, and purples, and I find pity-parties and fellows with chips on their shoulders to be a real turn-off. 4
selek1 Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) Ah, more personal insults. I can't imagine why you have trouble with women.Mark, that video went viral on facebook over a year ago and the dancer (I don't know if he is gay or not) was supposedly invited on stage to dance with Beyonce. It was something of a human interest story that caught national attention hence the video was super easy to find on youtube.If you really want to know how my mind works, just ask and I'll tell you.In fact, here's a freebie:I like long walks on the beach, thunderstorms, and gardening. My favorite colors are rich, dark, blues, greens, and purples, and I find pity-parties and fellows with chips on their shoulders to be a real turn-off.Ouch!Last thing I saw slammed that hard was a car door.The door had it coming, too. Edited March 18, 2012 by selek1 1
volgadon Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 most GAs are of the generation in which the male did the asking/persuing and so approach the subject accordingly. Also,perhaps,men are perceived as able to take criticism better(ie. they let it roll off and do what they want anyway)Sorry,volgadon,we posted at the same time,but you won.I think you won, I got a kick out of the criticism bit.
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