blackstrap Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 Why did the chicken cross the road ? .... to watch a man lay bricks.
Ron Beron Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?...None! Don't worry about it! Go out, have a good time. I'll just sit here in the dark!
Nathair/|\ Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Dear finger,Whoops! You fell in the chocolate icing again...Sincerely, *lick*Dear english teachers around the world,Um, no. I just liked ravens.Sincerely, Edgar Allen Poe.
Nathair/|\ Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Dear Captain Hook,What was your name before your hand was replaced by a hook?Sincerely, curious...
Mudcat Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 (edited) Okay... I wanna play too. Beware, it's a bit nasty but not PG-13.It was in the late 1950's when a traveling salesman that covered the Midwest was on a route, by car, from Denver to Kansas City. A snowstorm came up and the salesman feared being stranded on the road. The storm abated for just a moment and the salesman made out a farm house in the distance. Turning from the highway he made it to the farmhouse just as the snow set in again.After knocking, and middle aged farmer opened the door and the salesman explained his quandary, while offering payment for a stay till the roads cleared. The farmer, refused the mans money, but offered him a stay and invited the salesman in.The farmer and his large family were about to sit down for evening supper and shared a meal with the fellow. They sang songs after dinner.. hymns, carols and the like. All the while accompanied by the farmer's deft hands and guitar and his equally talented eldest son, with his fiddle. When it came time for bed, the farmer explained that they had yet to put in "in door" plumbing in regards to the lavatory and directed the salesman to an outhouse in the distance if he had any particular needs over the evening.He then directed the salesman to a cot they had made out in the basement for his bed.All was well until the salesman awoke in the wee hours of the morning. Though delicious, the evening meal had not agreed with his stomach at all. The fellow crept up the stairs as quietly as he could. He looked out the window to see that the storm had nearly half covered the outhouse. Given his urgency he felt he couldn't make it and scrambled back downstairs to seek another means.The basement was primarily a storage room. It was lined with home canned goods and the like. In desperation the salesman's eyes feel upon a large empty glass jar. After he attained relief, the salesman was fortunate enough to find a loose jar top lying about to seal up the odor. He didn't know what to do with it, but decided to set it on a vacant shelf.The remainder of the salesman's stay was just as wonderful as the revelry of the previous nights meal. The roads cleared a few days later and though he failed to address the jar, the salesman departed.The salesman drove the route between Denver and KC quite often and always felt plagued with guilt about his failure to say anything. After two monthsguilt overcame him and he decided to "come clean" on his next trip by.Knocking on the door, the farmer welcomed him with open arms. The salesman offered that he had something of a serious nature to discuss. The farmer not completely understanding the salesman's intent, replied, "Well certainly".The farmer brought the fellow into the family room, called his family down and stated to them that the salesman had some important to tell them all. From eldest to youngest, the boisterous family all quieted themselves like just so many church mice.Feeling quite humble, the salesman didn't know what to do, but after a long silence decided to chalk this up to most embarrassing moment of his life and told the truthThe family sat suspensefully and then horrifically, as he recounted the scenario of his first evening with them... his stomach troubles, the jar..... and just as he was about to apologize..... the famer said grimly "Hang on."The farmer ran to the phone and dialed a number. When the person that was called picked up on the other end the farmer said stoically, "Hey Jim, about that pumpkin pie..... you were right." Edited November 9, 2011 by Mudcat
Garden Girl Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Mudcat...Mudcat...Mudcat...About 3/4 of the way through I was already cringing... needless to say...ewwww...GG
altersteve Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Why did the hamster cross the road?Because it was stapled to the chicken.
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