Miscarriages

[nicolasconnault]

No, but someone suggested that embryos could be placed in the wombs of surogate mothers, and that got me thinking about what children actually inherit from their earthly parents.

(The itself makes sense to me, because anything that's possible given human technology would certainly be possible for God.)

Any thoughts?

OP stands for Original Post.

You bring up an interesting point, but it would be better to start a new thread, since it doesn't really address the topic of miscarriages.

[MorningStar]

When it happened to me, I took comfort that our child was ours no matter what. My mom felt that the miscarriages between me and my brother were me making an attempt, but the time wasn't right yet.

[nicolasconnault]

When it happened to me, I took comfort that our child was ours no matter what. My mom felt that the miscarriages between me and my brother were me making an attempt, but the time wasn't right yet.

My wife would like to believe that, but cannot find doctrinal support for it I suppose that, at some stage, she will make sense of it in some way, and that the Holy Ghost will help her in that process.

[MorningStar]

My wife would like to believe that, but cannot find doctrinal support for it I suppose that, at some stage, she will make sense of it in some way, and that the Holy Ghost will help her in that process.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Even if there were doctrinal support, it's still going to be very hard. I remember being horribly exhausted, probably had something to do with my hormone levels taking a sudden dive, but I was fortunate to have it happen earlier rather than later. I didn't have to go through any medical procedures or be in severe pain. I think talking about your grief will be helpful to her. Being the "strong one" can be mistaken for lack of emotion over it.

[nicolasconnault]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Even if there were doctrinal support, it's still going to be very hard. I remember being horribly exhausted, probably had something to do with my hormone levels taking a sudden dive, but I was fortunate to have it happen earlier rather than later. I didn't have to go through any medical procedures or be in severe pain. I think talking about your grief will be helpful to her. Being the "strong one" can be mistaken for lack of emotion over it.

Thank you, MorningStar. My wife is "horribly exhausted", mainly because of blood loss leading to anaemia. I suppose that emotional distress is also physically draining. We do talk about it regularly, but it is difficult for her to explain how she feels. She's trying to make sense of the very powerful emotions she has, and that's rather challenging.

[staccato]

I've had two. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I was on the pill at the time I got pregnant and when I was 4 months along my doctor told me I had a faux pregnancy - essentially a tumor growing in my uterus - and I miscarried a few days after the doctor told me this.

I got pregnant three months later (on birth control). And then 16 months later (on birth control). And then 18 months later, which also resulted in a miscarriage. I considered it a break from Mother Nature. And then I had my last. So I was pregnant six times in six years, two ending in miscarriage. I insisted on having my tubes tied after the 4th (at the age of 26) because I had every confidence that, unless I divorced my husband or gave up sex altogether, I would have ten children in ten years. My body was absolutely ravaged from the effects of pregnancy, miscarriage, childbirth and nursing.

Miscarriage statistics can be dramatic. Miscarriage reportedly occurs in 20 percent of all pregnancies. However, according to some sources, this may be an inaccurate number. Many women, before realizing a life has begun forming within them, may miscarry without knowing it-assuming their miscarriage is merely a heavier period. Therefore, the miscarriage rate may be closer to 40 or 50 percent. Of the number of women who miscarry, 20 percent will suffer recurring miscarriages. http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/miscarriage-statistics.htm

That is a lot of miscarriage. It would behoove women, based on this miscarriage reality, to not get too emotionally attached before birth.

From an LDS perspective, if one acknowledges the high rate of miscarriage and one assumes that God is in charge of this whole crapshoot, one should find comfort that the miscarriage happened for a good reason.

[Calm]

That is a lot of miscarriage. It would behoove women, based on this miscarriage reality, to not get too emotionally attached before birth.

IIRC, most miscarriages take place in the first three months, so I don't think---unless one has had an experience with miscarriage coming much latter---attachment after this time period is much of a problem.

To answer, when do most miscarriages occur, it is during the first eight weeks of pregnancy. An early miscarriage may be as a result of the mother's age, mother's health, or ovum health. The traditional recommendations from doctors to reduce the miscarriage risk are: do not use cigarettes, alcohol, or illegal drugs.

However, there is statistical evidence for when do most miscarriages occur in the first trimester. The evidence supports the idea that after the first trimester the risks are greatly reduced. The 5 top milestones for miscarriages occur:

1. A Late Period (4-7 Weeks). From 10% to 75% of fertilized eggs may pass through the woman's body without implanting. The measurement range at the low percentage includes only diagnosed pregnancies. The top of the range is for late periods that are followed by a period with heavy flow, technically an early miscarriage.
2. 2 Months (8 Weeks). Two missed periods and breast tenderness are the usual signs of conception. Reaching eight weeks is a milestone; however the miscarriage risk is still high. The best advice is: see your doctor, take excellent care of your self, stay hydrated, and eat a balanced diet.
3. First Trimester (12 Weeks). 80% of miscarriages happen in the first 90 days. It is very rare that pregnancy loss is anyone's fault; the risks up to this point are related to the fragile condition of the ovum and uterus. Pregnancy is also a situation that requires near perfect conditions.
4. 20 Weeks. When do most miscarriages occur? Not after 20 weeks! If you have reached this point, every day the odds are diminishing. Losing your baby after 20 weeks is called either a stillbirth or a neonatal death which is due to the baby being too underdeveloped to survive outside the womb. The risk of neonatal death or stillbirth is 0.5%.
5. Second Trimester. The overall miscarriage risk goes to 3% of total pregnancies after 24 weeks. If it should happen to you, ask your doctor about trying again after miscarriage.

http://ezinearticles.com/?When-Do-Most-Miscarriages-Occur?-5-Top-Milestones-For-Miscarriages&id=3406396

I used to have nightmares during and after my pregnances that I'd find a miscarried baby in the tub or toilet. My mother had two known miscarriages. I was supposed to be the third, but managed to survive (my dad and grandparents actually went out to celebrate because they thought it was too soon for Mom to have more kids, Mom literally went into her closet---the only place for real privacy---and prayed that I'd survive...and here I am). There are certain advantages to being past the babycarrying stages of life.

Note: substituted a more specific link

[staccato]

IIRC, most miscarriages take place in the first three months, so I don't think---unless one has had an experience with miscarriage coming much latter---attachment after this time period is much of a problem.

I would agree, based on my experience. But I have run into the occasional woman who will miscarry very early in the pregnancy and yet mourn the loss as if it were a lost infant. I chalk this up to just some things I do not understand.

[Calm]

I would agree, based on my experience. But I have run into the occasional woman who will miscarry very early in the pregnancy and yet mourn the loss as if it were a lost infant. I chalk this up to just some things I do not understand.

I was too busy being sick the first three months to really think about the potential baby inside me, lol.

[nicolasconnault]

I would agree, based on my experience. But I have run into the occasional woman who will miscarry very early in the pregnancy and yet mourn the loss as if it were a lost infant. I chalk this up to just some things I do not understand.

That is the case for my wife, who miscarried at 10 weeks. I also assumed that she wouldn't be very attached, and wouldn't go through too much emotional turmoil. I was wrong. A week later she is still grieving. I think that, beyond an attachment to the fetus whom she considered an integral part of the family, there was also a lengthy emotional and psychological preparation coupled with powerful hormonal and physical changes in her body, which were instantly cut short when she miscarried. The physical trauma she went through at miscarriage (she ended up in ER and passed out 3 times from the loss of blood) compounded all this into a very difficult experience.

Also, she had quite strong morning sickness for the first 2 months, and she had to keep telling herself that it was all worth it...