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Miscarriages


nicolasconnault

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There are a number of female posters on this board, and I expect that at least some of you may have been through this painful experience. Did you manage to cope with the loss, and how? Did some LDS doctrine help you more than others? Where did you find the greatest help?

What about fathers? Have you found it difficult to go through this?

I'm aware that discussing this may re-open old wounds, so please don't reply if you're afraid this might happen for you.

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Before I got divorced we found out she was expecting, it wasn't news we wanted to hear and soon after everything happened in terms of moving out and all that, she found out she had miscarried-honestly it was of some relief to know that a child wasn't coming into an impossible situation that lead to divorce. Now years later it isn't something I like to think about.

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EbedDilemma.png

My oldest daughter has had many miscarriages. Consequently her children are so very precious to us. We also lost a grandchild when we was but a few months old. The memories of that tiny infant are at once both treasured and painful. That is the viewpoint from a grandparents perspective. What our children went through was a sadness beyong my capabilities to describe. I thank my God above for the restored gospel because the hope which it provides got us all through. Even with the gospel, it was a challenge but we are stronger in our faith because of it. I cannot imagine what it must be like for those parents outside the church who under similar circumstances must make their way without the doctrines revealed through modern prophets.

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I thank my God above for the restored gospel because the hope which it provides got us all through. Even with the gospel, it was a challenge but we are stronger in our faith because of it. I cannot imagine what it must be like for those parents outside the church who under similar circumstances must make their way without the doctrines revealed through modern prophets.

This is what I am essentially asking: which LDS doctrines are actually comforting when the lost child wasn't sufficiently developed to be viable outside the womb? That child cannot be recorded on the Church records, and cannot be sealed to the parents, and apparently no doctrine exists regarding its spiritual state. I find that lack of knowledge difficult to deal with, because it gives no answer to worried mothers who are going through early miscarriage (up to 25% of pregnancies end up that way!).

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It is a righteous desire to want to bear and raise children. It is pleasing to our Heavenly Father. We may not understand all the reasons why some women have miscarriages, but I believe that the woman and her family can be helped and comforted through the grieving process.

For the record

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There are a number of female posters on this board, and I expect that at least some of you may have been through this painful experience. Did you manage to cope with the loss, and how? Did some LDS doctrine help you more than others? Where did you find the greatest help?

What about fathers? Have you found it difficult to go through this?

Yes, it was difficult for both of us in different ways. My wife had already bonded with the baby, and the loss was devastating to her. I was helpless in preventing it or being able to comfort her adequately. I felt guilt in that we were traveling cross-country by car to my new job at the time. The following helped: time, faith and hope in better days ahead, spending time together doing uplifting things, but mostly the basics: prayer, scriptures, church activity, helping others. Doctrinally we considered that the baby would in all likelihood be resurrected someday, but I think our faith that life must go on and to make the best of it brought the greater comfort and the more practical perspective. My wife had people to talk to who had gone through it and there was a measure of comfort in that as well, if only to see how different women handled the experience differently.

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Will they be born during the millennium?

Resurrected to mortality during the millennium?

Will they ever live, grow, and learn in the flesh?

Does the LDS, or any Church, have an answer to this?

I think the teachings indicate that yes, ultimately they would be resurrected, like the rest of us. Before their resurrection, I think it is very interesting to consider that they would be revived or healed to continue to complete their mortal life. The exact point at which a spirit and a body are connected to form a soul that can live and be resurrected, to my knowledge has not been revealed, but in the absence of knowing it is best to err on the side of reverence for life. If the exact point were revealed, all the more reason to revere life.

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I think the teachings indicate that yes, ultimately they would be resurrected, like the rest of us. Before their resurrection, I think it is very interesting to consider that they would be revived or healed to continue to complete their mortal life. The exact point at which a spirit and a body are connected to form a soul that can live and be resurrected, to my knowledge has not been revealed, but in the absence of knowing it is best to err on the side of reverence for life. If the exact point were revealed, all the more reason to revere life.

It is hard to imagine a 4-week-old embryo or even a 8-week-old fetus being revived in a resurrected state: they would still require the uterine habitat before they could mature and grow normally.

I appreciate your remarks about focusing on gospel living though, it makes sense, especially in the apparent absence of doctrinal answers on this topic.

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This is what I am essentially asking: which LDS doctrines are actually comforting when the lost child wasn't sufficiently developed to be viable outside the womb? That child cannot be recorded on the Church records, and cannot be sealed to the parents, and apparently no doctrine exists regarding its spiritual state. I find that lack of knowledge difficult to deal with, because it gives no answer to worried mothers who are going through early miscarriage (up to 25% of pregnancies end up that way!).

A lack of knowledge is where faith must kick in, and my other posts address how to strengthen faith in such a situation. For those who are more inclined to think through such troubles, while there is no doctrine about the fetus, there is doctrine about the mother and father which if applied, can help them emotionally and spiritually. I would even suggest that the lack of doctrine is indication from the Lord not to worry about it, that He will heal all wounds for all the souls involved, in the same way that there is a lack of responsibility for a child to baptized because of His atonement and so nobody needs to worry about it. This is not to say not to feel the pain of loss and process it normally, but the worrisome aspect can thus be greatly alleviated.

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It is hard to imagine a 4-week-old embryo or even a 8-week-old fetus being revived in a resurrected state: they would still require the uterine habitat before they could mature and grow normally.

I know this is getting imaginative, and I'll claim royalties on any science fiction written about it: The embryo could be revived in either a mortal or resurrected state and implanted in the mother's resurrected body or a surrogate's mortal body (if it is deemed to be a soul in the first place, which I personally believe it is; and if it isn't, no harm done).

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My mother had a miscarriage... but she does not talk of it, so I assume it is really emotionally painful for her.

I think, knowing that you would be again with your child in the eternities is a comforting feeling for those who go through this =).

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I assume you have already checked out lds.org and posted here to get personal points of view, but for readers who haven't read lds.org yet on the subject and are interested, here an article specifically dealing with the subject (there are other similar articles that deal with miscarriage in a less focused way), it is not doctrinally focused but is more about attitudes:

http://lds.org/ensig...rriage?lang=eng

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apparently no doctrine exists regarding its spiritual state. I find that lack of knowledge difficult to deal with

You raise an interesting question. Many other churches (the Catholic church comes to mind) have very specific doctrines about when the spirit enters the body, when an embryo becomes a member of the human race (at conception in most Christian churches that have such a doctrine). Why don't we? Aren't we supposed to have divinely inspired leaders who can settle such important questions, rather than worry about the number of earrings the ladies chose to adorn themselves with (I just read that other thread)?

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You raise an interesting question. Many other churches (the Catholic church comes to mind) have very specific doctrines about when the spirit enters the body, when an embryo becomes a member of the human race (at conception in most Christian churches that have such a doctrine). Why don't we? Aren't we supposed to have divinely inspired leaders who can settle such important questions, rather than worry about the number of earrings the ladies chose to adorn themselves with (I just read that other thread)?

Our leaders don't worry! Worry is a lack of faith in God, they do reveal the will of the Lord and only the will of the Lord.

The teachings of Joesph Smith imply that all babies who die are keep in the same state as when they passed away and mothers will rear these children in the spirit world. (This teaching doesn't mention miscarriages specifically though)

Later Presidents (Joseph F. Smith I believe) taught that spirits of children enter the spirit world in an adult state since there spirit was an adult when they came to Earth.

There is no official position on the state of miscarriages in the spirit world, as in all things God knows all and his perfect plan covers all things.

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There are a number of female posters on this board, and I expect that at least some of you may have been through this painful experience. Did you manage to cope with the loss, and how? Did some LDS doctrine help you more than others? Where did you find the greatest help?

What about fathers? Have you found it difficult to go through this?

I'm aware that discussing this may re-open old wounds, so please don't reply if you're afraid this might happen for you.

A tabernacle of flesh was attained; that persons spirit was not entered into that body;,, but the body was still given. there are reasons why it happened that way, and opportunity will be given on the other side for family.........it needs not to be done hear, for no spirit ever entered into a mortal flesh.. hence.. no need for temple sealing in this mortality.:P

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There are a number of female posters on this board, and I expect that at least some of you may have been through this painful experience. Did you manage to cope with the loss, and how? Did some LDS doctrine help you more than others? Where did you find the greatest help?

What about fathers? Have you found it difficult to go through this?

I'm aware that discussing this may re-open old wounds, so please don't reply if you're afraid this might happen for you.

My wife and I were just kids (well looking back, anyway) when it happened to us. We were not LDS; I still wonder to this day what if? But when we found the Church it did help us to cope with the loss

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Given pre-existence, what exactly does a child inherit from it's parents?

Does it just inherit physicl charecteristics (like hair color, eye color, and facial features), or does it inherit more (things like emotional temperment, personality traits, talents, intellectual strengths and weaknesses)?

That doesn't really have much to do with the OP.

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That doesn't really have much to do with the OP.

No, but someone suggested that embryos could be placed in the wombs of surogate mothers, and that got me thinking about what children actually inherit from their earthly parents.

(The itself makes sense to me, because anything that's possible given human technology would certainly be possible for God.)

Any thoughts?

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