Walks with Papa, a generational story.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

I have spoken many times of my early life, and the disappointments created by my bio-father, who abandoned my Mother and her three children, I being the youngest. He worked nights and carried on affairs with a number of women. One of these women worked with him and became pregnant. When her family and especially her brothers found out in the early 1960, they demanded he marry her. Being the man that he was (cowardly) he neglected to tell him them he was already married, so he married her illegally and became a bigamist. The story that I have not told is that he came from a good Christian Family, and that his Father (my Papa) was one of the greatest and most loving of men I have ever known. After my mother found out that he had married her illegally and fathered a child by her, she divorced him. After losing our home, we ended up in an unfurnished shack, not to far from our home. For a time we had to move into public housing to help my mother care for us and pay the debts they had, because he had fled the State, to avoid being arrested. During this time, my Papa would take the bus to come see us every week. When we moved back into that neighborhood, being the one my mother grew up in, he could just walk over as we were just blocks away in Atlanta. 

He would come over every other day, maybe three in the least. Each time he would bring candy, take us for walks and profusely apologize to my Mother constantly. I remember one day, my Mother told him that he needed to stop apologizing all the time, on this day he was weeping out loud. She assured him that she knew how he was raised and this was not his fault. My Grandma "Nation", (that used to be my last name, before the man became my Father, adopted my sister, brother and myself, changing our name to "Lee") had passed away just before this all happened, leaving him all alone. Needless to say, he would still apologize, but we still took our walks, he still brought treats, and we were always happy to see him. Once we moved North of the city, we did not get to see him as much, unless my Daddy would take us to see him, which he would do. Once my sister got her license, then my brother we would go ourselves, up until his death. It is why when I became a Grandfather, my wife had my grandchildren call me Papa, and why until I added my name, I went by Papa here. My wife had meet him and loved him as well. 

The purpose of this is, because of his example I do the same with my Grandchildren. I am fortunate that each Sunday, with few exceptions, my Grandbabies come over each week for Sunday dinner. It is tradition, first while caring for my Mother the last two years of her life, at her lake home we would walk the levy and Allatoona Pass battleground (Civil War) each Sunday. Now here at Nanny and Papa's house around the yard. We have our three acre front yard and vacant property which had adjacent woods to walk, which makes a six square walk. Much of the time, I have to use a cane, and have at least one or two little ones holding my other hand, while we "walk the walk of a thousand questions". Each child has gone through the "wonderful two's"asking "Why? Why? Why? Why?", as Papa tries to explain the world unto them. When they are out of school, it is many arguments about who can spend the night, who's turn it is, etc. Now they are back in school, (all but one) so it is hard to be fair, "in there eyes". So at times we just have a 5-7 grand baby sleepover, which as we grow older is more taxing. The oldest is 13 now so she acts like she is too big, but says..."well I'll stay to help with the little ones". She still asks to stay over at times, but at her age, feels she needs to come up with a reason. Which of course none of them need a reason, ever! One of their favorite walks is the "firefly" walk, or as we say in the South (lightening bugs) walk, as they run to catch them, as there are thousands. 

The moral of the story is two or three fold. We can often be let down by parents, or others we love, while others try to fill the gap, or the hurt of broken hearts. But even the bad examples can help us to be better men, women,parents. I was blessed to be young, when my parents split, but I had others to help fill the gap, to answer the questions, to ease the pain. My bio-father's bad example, made me determined to be the best father and husband I could be. My Papa, taught me to be kind and loving while he lived. My "real Father", who raised me taught me what a good father and husband should be, gave unto me two other great gifts. He and my Mother taught me the value of truth and honor, and gave unto me a strong "work ethic". My Nanny, who helped us and cared for us, until I was 15, when my Mother had to work, that family and the love of God, was everything. Not to mention, my Nanny (my Mother's, Mother) had a difficult life, and was a no nonsense woman, who when needed. She put the "fear of God" in me, when I would forget. 

Most of all, I have never in my (going on) 42 years of marriage, ever betrayed my wife, my children or my grandchildren. I learned early on the value of always "trying" to be the best at all three callings. Not perfect by any means, but always trying my best, and thankfully have, wife, children and grandchildren that are willing to forgive when I fall short. Also believing that those who taught me well, are rejoicing with me, and out of fear that I never let them down. 

So, I have learned that these small walks with Papa, we're making memories when I was young, and is making memories for my grandbabies. I hope it will teach them kindness, tenderness and love. Then in time it might lead to walks and talks with their own children and grandchildren, for generations to come. This until we all find ourselves back together in "worlds with end". We CAN choose the kind of people we want to be, we are not doomed or limited by the mistakes of those we love, and those who love us. Let us learn from their mistakes, if there be any. Let us learn from those who got it right, and pass that on to those we love. But above all, let us look to that perfect example of love of He who gave all for us, He who, if we follow in his footsteps; that our, "...spirit shall return unto to God who gave it". (Ecclesiastes 12:7) Forgive my rambling, but to quote a line from a movie, "I'd would write shorter sermons, but when I get started, I am just too lazy to stop". Although, I did not mean for this to be a sermon. 

God Bless, Papa

 

[Meerkat]

I really enjoy your sermons Bill.  There is wisdom there.  What a wonderful life and perspective you have, and lessons learned.  I wonder if all you have gained has resulted from having a great attitude in the face of adversity. I hope you are putting these stories in a binder for posterity.  They are sweet. 

Edited August 8, 2017 by Meerkat

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Meerkat said:

I really enjoy your sermons Bill.  There is wisdom there.  What a wonderful life and perspective you have, and lessons learned.  I wonder if all you have gained has resulted from having a great attitude in the face of adversity. I hope you are putting these stories in a binder for posterity.  They are sweet. 

It has brought me great gratitude, and no I don't have them written down. All that I post these days are done on an iPad, because of the difficulty of sitting in straight back chairs, due to injury, so I have no save button.  

[Meerkat]

On 8/8/2017 at 7:46 AM, Bill "Papa" Lee said:

It has brought me great gratitude, and no I don't have them written down. All that I post these days are done on an iPad, because of the difficulty of sitting in straight back chairs, due to injury, so I have no save button.  

One great place to keep journal entries in the cloud is in your online Gospel Library account. Click on Gospel Library.  Then click on Notes, hit the "+" button on the page, and you're on your way.  You can keep your stories for posterity there.  You can name them, date them and also connect with links, scriptures, etc.  You can journal your scripture studies.  You can track your thoughts and epiphanies.  It doesn't take long to get in the habit of using it. Another great thing about the Gospel Library program is that you can access your account, notes, scriptures, journal, Church magazines, etc. from anywhere.  Just be sure to leave your heirs your user name and password.   

You could also cut and paste your comments from www.mormondialogue.org into a word processing document on your ipad and save it.  If you have an account in the cloud, such as Google Drive or Microsoft's One Drive, (and maybe Apple has their own free account,) they will store your word processing documents for free.  Again, just make sure you leave the user name and password in your will or trust documents so your posterity has access.  

You are a great story teller Bill "Papa" Lee.  It would be a shame to see it all disappear when you do.

Edited August 9, 2017 by Meerkat