Finding The Balance Between Selflessness And Passivity

[kryoung1983]

How does one find the proper balance between seeking Christ like selflessness and what could lead to overly passive behavior and manipulation. I recently read the new book By bednar on acting consistently with what we know and a great majority of his book looked at the character of Christ. Christ always looked out of himself, even in the midst of great pain to relieve the suffering of others. But what about those people that suffer from being overly accomadating to the point where they have a hard time knowing how to find a balance? For instance lets take dating for instance. A truly Christlike person would be more concerned with how a girl feels, feels appreciated, and recognizes their divine worth than whether they reciprocate romantic feelings, but in so doing one would come across as overly passive and would repel most woman, not attract them. I work as a cashier and even though I make minimum wage I will often go out of my way to help people with their groceries if they come up short, but in so doing this obviously lends me to being manipulated.

I am also worried because passive behavior makes it unlikely to be promoted. I am also going into the social services where you try to make a difference in peoples lives but also have to deal with people that manipulate the system, and also have to have a backbone, and also not take responsibility for others faults. One example of this, and pardon the personal nature of the post was when I lived in Idaho. I tried to help a young boy who I could tell was completely in the throws of Satan. I could sense a great darkness about him. I tried to get him to repent and he greatly worried me. He later was convicted as the youngest person in the state of Idaho to be tried as an adult, for the attempted rape and murder of a five year old girl. There was nothing that I could do, but I still felt guilty for not being able to reach him, before he did what he did. In any cases these are all problems that I feel arise and I find little in the scriptures to help me to understand an appropriate balance.

So basically what are some scriptural principles in finding a balance between the things that I am describing. Although this post has been personal, I don't mean it to be a personal thread, but to discuss how to find balance between striving for selfishness and avoiding passivity or where one could be taken advantage of.

[kryoung1983]

I meant striving for selflessness obviously, typo there.

[CV75]

So basically what are some scriptural principles in finding a balance between the things that I am describing. Although this post has been personal, I don't mean it to be a personal thread, but to discuss how to find balance between striving for selfishness and avoiding passivity or where one could be taken advantage of.

I think here are two scriptures that might help evaluate looking out of one’s self and being overly accommodating:

· D&C 59: 3-4

3 Yea, blessed are they …who have obeyed my gospel; for they shall receive for their reward the good things of the earth, and it shall bring forth in its ^astrength.

4 And they shall also be crowned with blessings from above, yea, and with ^acommandments not a few, and with ^brevelations in their time—they that are ^cfaithful and ^ddiligent before me.

· Mosiah 4: 27

27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and ^aorder; for it is not requisite that a man should run ^bfaster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.

I think doing things in proper order (which includes magnitude, type, method and pattern as well as sequence) is what we do when we receive those “commandments not a few” (or the inspiration and direction we receive through personal revelation).

[Duncan]

Topic I have long thought about with no enlightenment on my end! how do you find balance or what does it mean to take charge of your life that you are supposed to give away to Christ? like "take no thought" about material goods is that specific or a general principle?

[thesometimesaint]

No one can be totally selfless. We wouldn't live very long if we tried. I think the key is in loving our neighbor as ourselves, and not putting sole overemphasis on either.

[CV75]

Topic I have long thought about with no enlightenment on my end! how do you find balance or what does it mean to take charge of your life that you are supposed to give away to Christ? like "take no thought" about material goods is that specific or a general principle?

I think both of these (submitting your agency to Christ and hearkening to the teachings of Sermon the Mount) depend on applying personal revelation as we are capable and qualified to receive it. The Lord only expects that we are willing to take His name upon us and offer Him our best as He sustains us along the path to perfection in doing that (revelation, application, and capacity and qualification build upon each other in a progressive manner, like knowledge and faith).

[Stroopwafel]

You know how we say that Christ set the perfect example and how we should learn from him? Well, here is something to think about: did you know that Christ did not actually turn the other cheek when he was smitten?

John 18

19 ¶The high apriest then asked Jesus of his disciples, and of his doctrine.

20 Jesus answered him, I spake openly to the world; I ever taught in the synagogue, and in the temple, whither the Jews always resort; and in secret have I said nothing.

21 Why askest thou me? ask them which heard me, what I have said unto them: behold, they know what I said.

22 And when he had thus spoken, one of the officers which stood by astruck Jesus with the palm of his hand, saying, Answerest thou the high priest so?

23 Jesus answered him, If I have spoken evil, bear witness of the evil: but if well, why smitest thou me?

I do not think this is inconsistent with his teachings, but I do believe that certain characteristics of Christ are emphasized over others, which leaves us with an incomplete understanding and has for consequence that what we are taught as the "perfect" example to follow is actually missing important nuances.

[Lightbearer]

The savior taught us to be as "wise as serpents but as harmless as doves". He does not advocate surrender to wickedness or sin or to not defend ourselves from persecution or manipulation. In fact we are commanded to "love our neighbor as ourselves" that does not denigrate "ourselves" in the process. We must seek first the Kingdom of God, but it does not say we must sacrifice more than we are able to obtain Eternal Life. King Benjamin after his great sermon on service and helping the poor and needy said:

"And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order." (Book of Mormon | Mosiah 4:27)

To me the "balance" in all this is relying upon the spirit of the Lord for guidance.