Nathair/|\ Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 This is part of a story I wrote, which along with another about the same character, may become a novel. In this scene, as part of his initiation, the guy experiences death, meets some of the gods and the One they worship and receives his commission. If anyone could help me make it more realistic, I would appreciate it. Mods, feel free to move it, but I'm hoping it will be seen by a few of our resident experts. Thank you.If anyone wants to see the whole story and/or the other one, PM me with your e-mail.He got [his balance] back just intime to face Aria snarling and charging at him again. This time, he wasn’t ready. “You pass,” she smiled lovingly as her spearpierced his heart.*********************The next thing he knew,Bres found himself in a gleaming white fog. He was wearing a white robe with a hood and an undyed cord belt. As the fog lifted, he found himselfsurrounded by figures he had known only from the tales his mentors had toldhim. They seemed to glow like the moonand their eyes were filled with all the stars of the sky. He recognized many of them as the Tuatha de Dannan, the gods of hisancestors and others he was introduced to during his summer with theBlackfeet. As soon as he realizedwhere he was, Bres fell to his knees, but a middle-aged man with laughing eyesand leaves from every kind of tree for hair, beard and clothes stepped forwardand helped the candidate to his feet. “Don’t worship us, we are your brothers and sisters, and cousins, yourfellow-servants and guardians of creation. We have some questions.”He returned to hisplace and another stepped forward. Hehad the head and feathers of an eagle and the air around him crackled withlightning. “Are you prepared to committo the Path of Knowledge and Duty?”“I am!” His place was taken bya young man with shoulder-length goldenhair and a glowing spear. “Are you prepared to give your life in the defenseof all that is good and holy andpreventing tyrants from despoiling and enslaving?”“I thought I alreadyhad,” Bres thought to himself. Out loud,he said, “I am.”Then a maiden with asmile like springtime stepped forward and queried, “Are you prepared to takeupon yourself the title of Druid with all its privileges, powers andresponsibilities?” “I am,” Bres said inringing tones.Then all the gods andgoddesses turned and kneeled. Bresfollowed their example. Before him,standing a little in the air was a personage whose brightness and gloryoutshone the sun, yet he somehow could handle it. He held a red-tailed hawk in his righthand. “Then Angus will take you home,”he said in a voice that though neither loud nor harsh seemed to pierce him tothe very soul. The hawk flew towardsBres and the last thing he saw was the pierced hands and feet of hisCreator. Link to comment
Nathair/|\ Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 The intent is to make this scene as accurate as possible to both a Near Death Experience and a prophetic summons to the Divine Council as described by bible scholars such as David Bokovoy while retaining the Irish and Blackfoot religious elements. The story is set in what is now Glacier national park after the economy, industry and federal and state governments all collapse. Link to comment
volgadon Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I'm getting together a few links. Link to comment
Garden Girl Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Hello Nathair... on a beautiful, sunny morning here on the Oregon coast...I actually like your writing style and do wish you well if you attempt to take this further, i.e., into a novel for instance.Years ago I had a desire to write fiction and I took one of those tests to see if I had "talent." I failed miserably because somehow all my mind could put forth when describing a particular thing was cliches... the "billowy clouds" for example...ha! However, I can stand at an easel and paint those clouds using white with a touch of Payne's Gray, and just a tad of Alizarin Crimson, highlighted with Cadmium Yellow Light...against a sky of Cerulean Blue touched with Cobalt or Ultramarine Blue Deep.from the beach... on a beautiful morning, the leaves of the trees shimmering in the morning sun...GG Link to comment
mfbukowski Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 The story is set in what is now Glacier national park after the economy, industry and federal and state governments all collapse.Good stuff, but I thought you said this was a novel? Link to comment
mfbukowski Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Hello Nathair... on a beautiful, sunny morning here on the Oregon coast...I actually like your writing style and do wish you well if you attempt to take this further, i.e., into a novel for instance.Years ago I had a desire to write fiction and I took one of those tests to see if I had "talent." I failed miserably because somehow all my mind could put forth when describing a particular thing was cliches... the "billowy clouds" for example...ha! However, I can stand at an easel and paint those clouds using white with a touch of Payne's Gray, and just a tad of Alizarin Crimson, highlighted with Cadmium Yellow Light...against a sky of Cerulean Blue touched with Cobalt or Ultramarine Blue Deep.from the beach... on a beautiful morning, the leaves of the trees shimmering in the morning sun...GG I can tell you have been listening to Donovan again!But to Nathair-I'd like to help and support but unfortunately am not familiar with either of those sets of myths, much less unifying them! Link to comment
volgadon Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 I can tell you have been listening to Donovan again!I've always wondered if he could write a line like "the lark upon my garden gate's a snail it is that's what it is" without the assistance of certain substances. Link to comment
mfbukowski Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 I've always wondered if he could write a line like "the lark upon my garden gate's a snail it is that's what it is" without the assistance of certain substances.LOLI strongly doubt it! Link to comment
Garden Girl Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 I can tell you have been listening to Donovan again!Hello mfb...Donovan? I'm not familiar with who he is... But I chuckled at Volgadon's lark comment.GG Link to comment
Garden Girl Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Nathair...One of the things (well, actually two things) I like about various accounts of NDE's is an almost universal agreement among experiencers regarding 1) the brilliance and clarity of colors... and 2) the "heavenly music" that was difficult to describe in our vocabulary.Almost without exception, descriptions of color were that although much more brilliant than anything we have here, the colors were not gaudy or garish... some colors being new and without words to describe them.Second, the "heavenly music" seemed to unite everything... almost a constant humming energy, but beautiful to hear.When I was an ordinance worker in the temple, sometimes I'd be alone walking in a hallway to my next assignment, or on duty in the Celestial Room before a session finished, and I'd tell Heavenly Father how I wished I could hear the heavenly music... to accompany the feelings of peace and deep reverence that I felt...GG Link to comment
Nathair/|\ Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 Good stuff, but I thought you said this was a novel?It's short stories right now, but I hope to rework them into a novel at some point. Link to comment
mfbukowski Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 (edited) duplicate Edited August 2, 2011 by mfbukowski Link to comment
mfbukowski Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Hello mfb...Donovan? I'm not familiar with who he is... But I chuckled at Volgadon's lark comment.GGOh my. You are sorely in need of some education. Boy, do I feel old! However, I can stand at an easel and paint those clouds using white with a touch of Payne's Gray, and just a tad of Alizarin Crimson, highlighted with Cadmium Yellow Light...against a sky of Cerulean Blue touched with Cobalt or Ultramarine Blue Deep.from the beach... on a beautiful morning, the leaves of the trees shimmering in the morning sun...GG Nathair- if you don't know about this guy you should! He is still into Celtic magic stuff too!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbZpGpd5JDM Link to comment
mfbukowski Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 It's short stories right now, but I hope to rework them into a novel at some point.I was teasing. I meant that it seemed like your post-apocalyptic scenario was already happening! Link to comment
Nathair/|\ Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 I was teasing. I meant that it seemed like your post-apocalyptic scenario was already happening! That's kind-of the theme of my story. Even someone as dense as me can see trends that obvious. Then I started thinking what it would take to survive it. For story purposes, I set the collapse in 2015. The stories take place 25-30 years later. I don't really think it would happen that quickly. Technology might even save us. Hydrogen fuel cells or solar panels or something. I don't know. But that would leave me story-less. Unlike Ray Bradbury, I'm not so much interested in describing dystopian futures in the hope that they will be prevented as I am about seeing potential challenges and creating solutions. Someday, I hope to write a sweeping novel or series on the scale of Edward Rutherford, James Michener or the Work and the Glory books about the Stone of Scone, but that's a lot of research from now. I don't have my sights set on being the next Orson Scott Card, but maybe I could be as good as fellow LDS fantasist Tracy Hickman.Yours under the creative oaks,Nathair /|\ Link to comment
mfbukowski Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 That's kind-of the theme of my story. Even someone as dense as me can see trends that obvious. Then I started thinking what it would take to survive it. For story purposes, I set the collapse in 2015. The stories take place 25-30 years later. I don't really think it would happen that quickly. Technology might even save us. Hydrogen fuel cells or solar panels or something. I don't know. But that would leave me story-less. Unlike Ray Bradbury, I'm not so much interested in describing dystopian futures in the hope that they will be prevented as I am about seeing potential challenges and creating solutions. Someday, I hope to write a sweeping novel or series on the scale of Edward Rutherford, James Michener or the Work and the Glory books about the Stone of Scone, but that's a lot of research from now. I don't have my sights set on being the next Orson Scott Card, but maybe I could be as good as fellow LDS fantasist Tracy Hickman.Yours under the creative oaks,Nathair /|\Cool!This much I know- the only way you can achieve a dream is by having one first! Good luck! Link to comment
Nathair/|\ Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Cool!This much I know- the only way you can achieve a dream is by having one first! Good luck!I've always vaguely fantasized about writing, but never did anything with it until now. Link to comment
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