thisIsIt000 Posted May 3, 2019 Posted May 3, 2019 In some people's progress through life, they come to a point where they realize that they were wrong about a certain pattern of behavior. In my life, I feel that there was a feedback loop, where I would be treated badly by people, not be accepted, get angry, and get treated badly because of anger, not get accepted, and so forth. My ideas and my work were continually shot down no matter where I would go, no matter who I would talk to, and no matter on what subject I would write. I was treated as a lesser, and that my intellect was "less" than others, and that I was not an "expert" on any field I would become very conversant in, no matter how much work I would put into familiarizing myself with the material, and no matter how expert I would become in the material. And I would continue to develop grudges and get more upset. People were consistently treating me badly because of my lack of credentials, and shutting me out of their groups. There was always a catch 22, where my work would not get read, but it would reportedly not get read because it was not published. But when I would try to get it published, it would be rejected because there wasn't anything from before that was published. Then I would assume that everyone was poisoning the well against me, and no matter what I would do, it would just get worse and worse. To whatever degree it was real, my behavior amplified it. Then I would continue to blame it on everyone else, and the feedback loop would just continue in its vicious cycle. I apologize to everyone in FAIRMormon and on this board and at Interpreter for this pattern of behavior. I have looked inward at myself to try to figure out what went wrong for all these years and how and to what degree I have caused this all myself. I've apologized before to people trying to figure it out, and then would just get re-offended and develop grudges over again. There is only one solution to this. I am cutting off all contact from my past. But I can't go on without making this one last statement. It is abundantly clear that for a multitude of reasons, none of my work is ever good enough for any of you. You are constantly doing boundary enforcement in your domain, and shutting me out. You don't take me seriously and never have, and this is the reality. No matter how I improve my arguments in my work, all of you constantly judge it by the state it was in years ago when I was beginning it. It doesn't matter to you how it has improved over the years. None of you would feature my work in your publications. You would pretend like it didn't exist. Only other people's work on those subjects was ever good enough. But that is your right, to continue to judge me badly. It doesn't matter what I do. So this is it. You have continued to ignore me, and judge my work badly and wrongly. That is your right to judge me badly if you want, and to continue to assume that my work has no value, and that I am not a valid contributor to the marketplace of ideas. I am sorry for this pattern of behavior, as to my part in this, and it is going to stop, but it was all in response to the way you treated me, and how it continued to compound on itself. For all those of you who I have offended or wronged, I'm sorry. I just ask that nobody contact me under any circumstance. The only peace I have is that you people cannot contact me and bring more hurt to me in response to either my anger, or my attempts to produce material which you will just shoot down. May God have mercy on you for those of you who have intentionally hurt me and intentionally shut me out. If you ever feel sorry for what you have done to me, which you won't, don't attempt to apologize to me. Go to your God. But as for me, I am sorry for my part. I know that none of you feel that you are contributors to this state of affairs and may blame all of my ills on me, as if I am the only contributor to my own woes. But again, as for my part, I am sorry, and I am done, and it ends here, and it ends now. I emailed the Egyptologists, etc. in the Church telling them what I felt strongly about so that they were on notice and responsible for the information, and they just ignored it. And a FAIRMormon member just shot back an email saying how terrible my work in the past was and asking what reason I could give now to be taken seriously. All I can say is, read the paper. Of course you won't, because it is just a "hypothesis" that is unsupported. It doesn't matter that it has evidence to you. It doesn't matter that my mind is as good as yours. But this is the end, and I have now apologized to whatever degree I can, although nothing can repair the damage to my health and my soul that this has all caused except for the atonement of Jesus Christ. And now the responsibility for the information that you have rejected is on your own heads. I wash my hands of it. This is it. Ed Goble.
rpn Posted May 3, 2019 Posted May 3, 2019 So why don't you at least post it here so the rest of us can make up our own mind. Godspeed in your future endeavors. You will never be less than in your Heavenly Parents and Savior's eyes. 2
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