FAIR Conference

[Deborah]

Just so you know early bird rates end in May if you want to get registered. I did it yesterday.

Fair Conference

[Mortal Man]

My suggestions for this year's FAIR conference:

1. "Indoor Lightning"

Participants gather in the center of the room and begin conversing.

Someone calls out "William Schryver!"

Anyone managing to escape the room with only minor injuries gets 5 points.

2. "Capture the Critic"

Attendees decorate the outside of the conference center with gingerbread, gumdrops and a large banner advertising "FREE CANDY FOR CRITICS!"

Any hapless critic who wanders into the building is pinned in a shoulder lock,

put up against the wall,

subjected to enhanced interrogation techniques,

and handed over to the bouncer.

3. "King of Cumorah Hill"

The “Mesoamericanists” build a small “drumlin” at the north end of the building while the “Hemisphericists” construct a mini “Cerro Vigia” at the south end. Each team guards their respective hill, trying to prevent enemy “warriors” from scaling it, while simultaneously sending their own troops to climb their enemies' hill. The first person to reach the top of the opposite hill raises his arm and bids farewell to the vanquished team.

The losing team is driven from the conference center and the winning team stages a brief pageant on their captured hill.

4. “Ash-Ray Eyes”

Players sneak up next to Wade Englund and give him The Evil Glare of Death.

Whoever gives him the Most Evil Eye wins 3 points.

5. “Chiastic Ladder”

Participants take turns climbing to the top of a ladder and then climbing back down the other side head first. Points are awarded based on the number of rungs in the ladder.

6. “Wizard of Aahs”

Wizard of Oz flash cards of the scarecrow, tornado and tin man are randomly displayed to a panel of contestants. The first person to shout “Straw Man!”, “Circular Logic!” or “Rigid Paradigm!” as appropriate, scores a point.

7. “Humble Chairs”

Players circle a ring of chairs to the tune of John Lennon’s Imagine. When the music stops everyone sits down. The first person to push Dan Peterson out of his chair to make room for Will Schryver gets 2 points.

(Does anyone have a link to that video?)

Edited June 4, 2011 by Mortal Man

[Joseph Antley]

This year will be my first year at the FAIR conference. Get excited!

[Mike Reed]

Since you bailed at Berkeley, and then again for MHA... maybe the only way we'll ever meet is if I come to you. Starting to wonder, Joseph, if you are a real person or just another one of Daniel Peterson's sock-puppets. Oh wait... but aren't you scheduled for a migraine headache that week?

[Gohan]

Gosh dang it! I could afford the Conference itself...but not the airline ticket...curse my until-September East Coast dwelling! Somebody take some good notes for me...

[morgan.deane]

I just signed up! This will be my first time attending and the line up looks great. Although of course I think it could use a little more military history.

[kolipoki09]

Mortal Man: That was worthy of multiple reputation points. Good show old chap!

[kolipoki09]

Since you bailed at Berkeley, and then again for MHA... maybe the only way we'll ever meet is if I come to you. Starting to wonder, Joseph, if you are a real person or just another one of Daniel Peterson's sock-puppets. Oh wait... but aren't you scheduled for a migraine headache that week?

I allegedly saw him once with Gohan. However, it may have been with my spiritual eyes, so Antley would have to verify that one.

[Mortal Man]

8. "Hide and Speak"

Everybody hides from Kerry Shirts, who canvasses the building in search of "victims."

Whomever he catches is forced to put on makeup, has a mic pinned to their chest, and is put "under the lights" for all their friends to gawk at.

Edited June 2, 2011 by Mortal Man

[Joseph Antley]

Since you bailed at Berkeley, and then again for MHA... maybe the only way we'll ever meet is if I come to you. Starting to wonder, Joseph, if you are a real person or just another one of Daniel Peterson's sock-puppets. Oh wait... but aren't you scheduled for a migraine headache that week?

Yes, I'm a flake. But I will see you in August, Mike, and I will treat you to dinner one day!

I allegedly saw him once with Gohan. However, it may have been with my spiritual eyes, so Antley would have to verify that one.

I verify nothing. I'll be back in Rexburg the weekend of the 23 and this time we'll hopefully have more time to talk.

[Mortal Man]

9. "Dan's Daring Dash"

Dan Peterson delivers the opening "welcome" address but cuts his speech short in order to catch a flight to Jerusalem. From there he hops a series of flights to Cairo, Tripoli, Damascus, Sana'a etc., visiting as many Middle Eastern countries as possible before returning to Sandy to deliver his closing remarks.

Participants bet on how many cities he'll visit, whether he'll make it back in time and/or whether he'll be captured.

[Mortal Man]

And last but not least:

10. "Facsimile Charades" or "Dance of the Egypto-ham FAIRies"

Players divide into an "R" team and an "E" team, which sit on opposite sides of the room. Someone draws a facsimile figure/number at random from a hat and begins acting out that personage/idol/figurine/king/courtier/patriarch/deity.

The R team tries to guess the revealed explanation (e.g., Shulem, Olimlah, Pharaoh...) while the E team tries to guess the Egyptological interpretation (e.g., Hor, Anubis, Isis...).

The first player from each side to guess the correct answer rises from his/her chair and begins an interpretive dance, attempting to capture the true essence and/or deeper meaning of their character.

The R dancer choreographs his rhythmic movements in traditional styles to evoke apocryphal imagery about the early life of Abraham.

The E dancer, on the other hand, flits and prances in stone-like stances, enacting scenes from the Book of the Dead and other magical papyri.

The dancers each work their way toward the center of the room, gradually synchronizing their movements as they approach each other.

They eventually merge in a perfect harmony of motion.

Edited June 15, 2011 by Mortal Man

[Scott Gordon]

Ok...I have to admit I really like this one.

Hmmmm......where should I squeeze it in on the schedule.....

My suggestions for this year's FAIR conference:

The losing team is driven from the conference center and the winning team stages a brief pageant on their captured hill.

[Chris Smith]

I vote to put Mortal Man in charge of the FAIR Conference halftime show.

[TAO]

Ah man, we need MOAR Mortal Man XD. MOAR!!!!!

Actually, putting you in charge for a few events wouldn't be half bad, I would say. You can make things pretty funny XD.

[kolipoki09]

I vote to put Mortal Man in charge of the FAIR Conference halftime show.

I think he ought to dress up like the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come so everyone will recognize him from his avatar. Beneath, he should be dressed as a mummy carrying with him a scroll of somewhat disputed length, written on papyrus of somewhat disputed thickness. And for the kiddies, a wedjat eye cookie decorating contest.

[Mortal Man]

I vote to put Mortal Man in charge of the FAIR Conference halftime show.

Ah man, we need MOAR Mortal Man XD. MOAR!!!!!

Actually, putting you in charge for a few events wouldn't be half bad, I would say. You can make things pretty funny XD.

I hereby offer my services as FAIR Activities Director.

[Mortal Man]

I think he ought to dress up like the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come so everyone will recognize him from his avatar. Beneath, he should be dressed as a mummy carrying with him a scroll of somewhat disputed length, written on papyrus of somewhat disputed thickness. And for the kiddies, a wedjat eye cookie decorating contest.

Now you're getting into the spirit kolipoki! I like where you're going with this but I think the kids should have to earn their raspberry/strawberry wedjat eyes.

How 'bout this?

11. "Mathemagical Scrollwork"

Participants are greeted at the entrance by a necromantic personage and his hairy apprentice.

As each "student" enters the room, the apprentice takes a scroll from the death shroud, bites off an end, unrolls it partway, cuts it in two and hands over the outer portion, along with a pencil and ruler.

The students then sit down at their desks and busy themselves taking measurements and trying to figure out the lengths of their missing interior scroll sections.

Extra points are awarded to anyone who brings a calculator; however, points are deducted from anyone attempting to play with their scroll as if it were some sort of yo-yo.

Technical questions are allowed but students must work quietly and diligently, without leaving their seats, until they have the correct answer to within 5 cm.

Anyone caught yawning, rolling their eyes or drooling on their desk must go to the blackboard and write, "I believe in Archimedes" 100 times.

When the students have all completed their "exams" they are treated to a visit by the Master Magician (recently returned from Mt. Doom).

He takes a Fruit Roll-Up from his pocket...

...and, to everyone's delight and utter astonishment, unrolls it across two entire rooms of the conference center.

The students are thrilled to discover that there is plenty for everyone.

Edited August 8, 2011 by Mortal Man

[Deborah]

The conference should certainly be entertaining this year.

[Scott Gordon]

You don't want to miss the FAIR conference. It has some great speakers.

The schedule is as follows:

Thursday August 4 Schedule

8:00 am

Registration

9:00 am

Opening Remarks - FAIR

Scott Gordon

9:30 am

Seerhood, Pure Language, and Sacred Translation

Samuel Brown

10:30 am

A Reconciliation of Polygamy

Valerie Hudson

1:00 pm

Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Blood Atonement Balance Sheet

McKay V. Jones

2:00 pm

The Sacred Embrace in Ancient Egyptian Religion and Art

Stephen Ricks

3:15 pm

The Gift and Power: Translating the Book of Mormon

Brant Gardner

4:15 pm

Accounts of the First Vision

Steven C. Harper

5:15 pm

Closing

Friday August 5 Schedule

8:00 am

Registration

8:50 am

Opening

9:00 am

W. Mitt Romney and Jon M. Huntsman, Jr.'s 2012 Quest for the Presidency: A Mormon Moment or Mormon Question...Revisited

Newell Bringhurst

10:00 am

Borders & Boundaries: The Immigration Fervor that Threatens to Divide Us

Cynthia J. Lange

11:00 am

Something Wiki This Way Comes: How Collaborative Editing is Changing the Face of Online LDS Apologetics

Roger Nicholson

1:00 pm

'President Joseph Has Translated a Portion': Solving the Mystery of the Kinderhook Plates

Don Bradley

2:00 pm

Book of Mormon 'Wordprint' Analysis: How to do it wrong...and how to do it right

Paul Fields

3:15 pm

Excavating the Text: Archaeological Expectations for Book of Mormon Peoples

Chris Watkins

4:15 pm

Mormonism, Islam, and the Question of Other Religions

Dan Peterson

5:15 pm

Closing

Find out more information about the conference, and register for the conference at http://www.fairlds.org/conf11a.html, or go to www.fairlds.org and click on the conference link.

Help get the word out by posting up a flyer PDF FAIR Conference Poster.

[Mortal Man]

Thursday August 4 Schedule

8:00 am

Registration

9:00 am

Opening Remarks - FAIR

Scott Gordon

9:30 am

Seerhood, Pure Language, and Sacred Translation

Samuel Brown

10:30 am

A Reconciliation of Polygamy

Valerie Hudson

1:00 pm

Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Blood Atonement Balance Sheet

McKay V. Jones

2:00 pm

The Sacred Embrace in Ancient Egyptian Religion and Art

Stephen Ricks

3:15 pm

The Gift and Power: Translating the Book of Mormon

Brant Gardner

4:15 pm

Accounts of the First Vision

Steven C. Harper

5:15 pm

Closing

Friday August 5 Schedule

8:00 am

Registration

8:50 am

Opening

9:00 am

W. Mitt Romney and Jon M. Huntsman, Jr.'s 2012 Quest for the Presidency: A Mormon Moment or Mormon Question...Revisited

Newell Bringhurst

10:00 am

Borders & Boundaries: The Immigration Fervor that Threatens to Divide Us

Cynthia J. Lange

11:00 am

Something Wiki This Way Comes: How Collaborative Editing is Changing the Face of Online LDS Apologetics

Roger Nicholson

1:00 pm

'President Joseph Has Translated a Portion': Solving the Mystery of the Kinderhook Plates

Don Bradley

2:00 pm

Book of Mormon 'Wordprint' Analysis: How to do it wrong...and how to do it right

Paul Fields

3:15 pm

Excavating the Text: Archaeological Expectations for Book of Mormon Peoples

Chris Watkins

4:15 pm

Mormonism, Islam, and the Question of Other Religions

Dan Peterson

5:15 pm

Closing

This looks like a pretty good schedule Scott but I think it needs more balance. Do you think you could squeeze in any of the following late entries?

"Behind Enemy Lines: How CS and I infiltrated the Maxwell Institute and Lived to Tell About It"

Mike Reed

"Pringles Potato Chips: An Echo and Evidence of the Gold Plates?"

Chris Smith

"Dangers of the Occult: How Our Séance Went Horribly Awry and Let Loose the Ghost of Kevin Graham on the Unsuspecting Citizenry of MDDB"

Nemesis

"12 or 20 Gauge? How Best to Deal with Malevolent Stalkers"

Dan Peterson

"The Book of Mormon Musical: Why it Fails to Recreate the Magic of Saturday's Warrior"

cinepro

"Apostates: Why We Should Love them Unconditionally and Beg Them to Stay"

BCSpace

"Uncorrelated Mormons: Why We Should Drive Them Out Before They Pollute the Rest of Us"

mercyngrace

"Mormons: Why I Just Love Them to Death"

Rob Bowman

"Evangelical Anti-Mormons: Why I Just Love Them to Death"

mfbukowski

"Where's William?"

Distinguished Panel Discussion

Edited July 22, 2011 by Mortal Man

[Scott Gordon]

All excellent suggestions.

I will send your suggestions to our special "round file" committee who takes all of these suggestions quite seriously. It is people like you who keep our "round file" committee busy and active, so we appreciate all of your help.

This looks like a pretty good schedule Scott but I think it needs more balance. Do you think you could squeeze in any of the following late entries?

"Behind Enemy Lines: How CS and I infiltrated the Maxwell Institute and Lived to Tell About It"

Mike Reed

"Pringles Potato Chips: An Echo and Evidence of the Gold Plates?"

Chris Smith

"Dangers of the Occult: How Our Séance Went Horribly Awry and Let Loose the Ghost of Kevin Graham on the Unsuspecting Citizenry of MDDB"

Nemesis

"12 or 20 Gauge? How Best to Deal with Malevolent Stalkers"

Dan Peterson

"The Book of Mormon Musical: Why it Fails to Recreate the Magic of Saturday's Warrior"

cinepro

"Apostates: Why We Should Love them Unconditionally and Beg Them to Stay"

BCSpace

"Uncorrelated Mormons: Why We Should Drive Them Out Before They Pollute the Rest of Us"

mercyngrace

"Mormons: Why I Just Love Them to Death"

Rob Bowman

"Evangelical Anti-Mormons: Why I Just Love Them to Death"

mfbukowski

"Where's William?"

Distinguished Panel Discussion

[Scott Gordon]

**CONFERENCE TICKETS WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE ONLINE AFTER MIDNIGHT ON SUNDAY JULY 31.**

After that, you can still purchase your tickets at the door, but you won’t be able to get lunch with your full price purchase.

We are pleased to announce a new speaker for the conference. Dr. Ugo Perego will be speaking and the title of his talk is Joseph Smith, The Question of Polygamous Offspring and DNA Analysis.

Chris Watkins was planning on attending, but, unfortunately, he won’t be able to join us this year. We hope to have him speak in a future conference.

We are audio streaming the conference again! Yes, you heard me right! We got positive feedback last year, so we are doing it again. To help defray our costs, this service will cost $15 for both days combined. We will be providing audio, and if all goes well there may also be some video and/or slideshows available. You can order the service at http://bookstore.fairlds.org/product.php?id_product=1085

Instructions regarding access and feedback will be downloadable from the bookstore. After you order the service, follow the bookstore instructions to download your streaming log in instructions. A high-speed Internet connection is recommended.

[Scott Lloyd]

Consistent with past practice, the Deseret News will again be having three, maybe even four, writers attending the conference. Five, if you count Professor Peterson, an adjunct contributor. Incidentally, here is his piece from yesterday about the upcoming conference.

Edited July 29, 2011 by Scott Lloyd

[kolipoki09]

Consistent with past practice, the Deseret News will again be having three, maybe even four, writers attending the conference. Five, if you count Professor Peterson, an adjunct contributor. Incidentally, here is his piece from yesterday about the upcoming conference.

Hot from the AP News Wire (which I just read over the radio).

By JENNIFER DOBNER

Associated Press

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) - A nonprofit group that defends Mormon beliefs to critics says it will launch an organization designed to help journalists, political operatives and others better understand the faith.

Scott Gordon says the Mormon Defense League aims to dispel myths and explain the history, theology and other aspects of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The all-volunteer league is an extension of the group FAIR, the Foundation for Apologetic Information & Research.

FAIR President Gordon says he'll announce the new endeavor Thursday during the 13th annual FAIR conference in Sandy.

He says the idea for the league grew out of misinformation about the church which circulated in 2008 when Mormon Mitt Romney sought the GOP presidential nomination.

Neither FAIR nor the league are endorsed by the Mormon church.

More Mopologetic hysteria I see. I wonder how long it will last, given that MST [an organization with similar goals of artifice, bamboozlement, and chicanery] was doomed to failure literally from its inception.

Edited August 4, 2011 by kolipoki09