Adult ADHD

[TAO]

What are your thoughts? Are ADHD members of the church off the hook in terms of our perceived responsibility of getting married? How does that affect our goals in eventually being in the Celestial Kingdom?

Keep your eyes open, Messenger =). The Lord will not blame you if you can't find it, you'll have to ask him though, whether he wants you looking. If he wants you looking (even if you don't find that person), you definitely should look. But ask him, first. Ask him with all your heart - it's an important question indeed, my friend. =)

Don't give up hope =D.

And perhaps, you will find someone else with ADHD or something similar who will understand much. Or just a regular person, who understands too =). Talk to God, see what he wants you to do =).

Best Wishes,

TAO

Edited May 19, 2011 by TAO

[Messenger]

Keep your eyes open, Messenger =). The Lord will not blame you if you can't find it, you'll have to ask him though, whether he wants you looking. If he wants you looking (even if you don't find that person), you definitely should look. But ask him, first. Ask him with all your heart - it's an important question indeed, my friend. =)

Don't give up hope =D.

And perhaps, you will find someone else with ADHD or something similar who will understand much. Or just a regular person, who understands too =). Talk to God, see what he wants you to do =).

Best Wishes,

TAO

TAO,

Thanks for the input. Im not sure where this whole thing is going to go. I have a lot of mixed feelings for sure. And certainly with moving to Idaho Falls, I plan on doing a little looking with the singles adult activities, not just because I should be looking, but also because I enjoy doing a little socializing. They say people like me can wear out frienships pretty fast, and historically, thats been true. All the things that make a friendship normal is not so normal with people like me. But, I will also say at the same time, the medication is pretty good about some, but not all, of the symptoms.

To take this into another direction, my ex-wife called me on my cell phone today. It had to do with my son and just getting insurance things taken care of for his medication. But, when I heard her voice, well it sounded different. All the years of dissapointment, have always translated to the sound of her voice. I would hear it and cringe; thinking about the bad times. Guys like me with ADHD see bad times and fixate on them and cant let go - our brain does not allow this for up to 12 hours. Then patterns develop, and the cycle can continue after more and more dissapointments. Now all that is gone .... I don't know .... its the strangest feeling I've had in a long time. I mean there was absolutely no hate I felt between us - none. When I heard her voice it was like somebody else.

One thing is for certain, my son will benefit from any communication improvement between us. I am going to take all of this just one step at a time to make sure I'm indeed doing the right thing.

Right now I'm trying to get the new website up and running.

[Messenger]

Just an update, I guess it’s been about a month and a half since I started taking the medication Adderall. I finally have no pain in my stomach and other side affects of the drug are a lot less noticeable. I've been doing a ton of research and will be putting up a new website for information on what I have learned with lots of links in about a month - I’m about half way through now.

The biggest change for me, as a result from the medication, was being able to be a lot more patient, and not let things bother me for days. You can see from my Rexburg thread, that there were quite a few businesses that just irked me. I have none of those feeling anymore. If they suck, I simply know they suck and deal with it. It’s pretty cool to have that capability.

Memory functions haven’t really improved for me, but I've always dealt with that by making lists, and using software to help remember things. I plan on continuing to find ways that help with the issues of ADHD. They say long term use of the medication may not have the same effect.

My job is more enjoyable - I don’t feel like I have 6 or 7 things I'm thinking about at the same time, more like 2 or 3 and they don’t seem to crash into each other as much. Focusing is a lot easier now - I don’t get stuck on one thought, even when someone is angry with me. It used to be that other people’s anger just made it worse. Now I seem to have control over what I feel when they get angry and am able to stay calm.

I plan on telling close friends and my bishop, but not very many other people. Where I work they have given me the ability to leave when and if I have an episode with no questions asked. I've had only one last month. That’s pretty amazing since I used to have several a week, but I always keep a lid on them. I'd get home and my mind would cycle around the thoughts that started them over and over and over again - never being able to sleep. It’s not like that now.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

[Calm]

Just an update, I guess it’s been about a month and a half since I started taking the medication Adderall.....

it's nice to hear you are doing so well.

Memory can be very frustrating, but thankfully it's one of those things you can usually do something about without adding more drugs (such as list making, setting alarms on your cell phone and computer, etc.).

Biggest problem is when your kids start telling you that you promised something you don't think you did....cover that by insisting all promises must be written down and signed by you to guarantee them being followed through, otherwise your memory is the final arbiter.

Edited May 31, 2011 by calmoriah

[Messenger]

it's nice to hear you are doing so well.

Memory can be very frustrating, but thankfully it's one of those things you can usually do something about without adding more drugs (such as list making, setting alarms on your cell phone and computer, etc.).

Biggest problem is when your kids start telling you that you promised something you don't think you did....cover that by insisting all promises must be written down and signed by you to guarantee them being followed through, otherwise your memory is the final arbiter.

The medication doesn’t cure everything. For example, I still have feelings of loss when I lose yet another friend. Today a friend of over 15 years seems to be gone. He was in Afghanistan working as a civilian when I found out I had ADHD. Although he's back from is job for a few months, he doesn’t know I discovered I had ADHD. I've asked him to call me, but he doesn’t. Ironic, after being friends through my divorce, my church inactivity, my church re-activation, and even working for him, when all the answers are here, he's done.

I realize that having a friendship always has risks. And I can say for certain, the vast majority of the time we've been friends has been a true relief in my life. I would call Brian up and for hours I would talk to him about social puzzles in my life. He always had good answers, even though I could never come up with them on my own. And some of his advice didn’t always seem accurate, at least to me. But, nonetheless, it was good to talk to someone about them.

I will make friends again, and they will be good, and someday they will be gone... all over again. Some may be gone in a few days; while others may last as long as 15 years. Why this one ended I'll never know. And I doubt that my ADHD will ever let me figure that out. But, I will remember the advice from a talk years ago by Elder Joseph B Wirthlin. In his talk he said ... "The third thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

Its time to move on to the next. Courage is just one of the things that I have been blessed with, and perhaps even a form of compensation. Regardless, I will miss Brian and as painful as it is to no longer have his friendship, I cannot regret ever becoming friends with him, not even now.

[Mordecai]

There is pretty good reason to believe the right combination of and proper chelation of nutrients will help.

http://truehope.com/truehope_bipolar_disorder_research_empowerplus_13.aspx

[Calm]

Why this one ended I'll never know. And I doubt that my ADHD will ever let me figure that out.

Just remember it is as likely to be something in his life that caused this as yours (or what he thinks might have happened in yours).

[Messenger]

There is pretty good reason to believe the right combination of and proper chelation of nutrients will help.

http://truehope.com/...werplus_13.aspx

This may work for some people, and even if it doesnt, the hope of it may give some relief. However, since my ADHD seems to be heriditary, I doubt that detox of heavy metals is the answer for me.

[Messenger]

Just remember it is as likely to be something in his life that caused this as yours (or what he thinks might have happened in yours).

That’s probably true. I've always found it odd how much my LDS friends seem to rely on their own past experience to explain behavior in me. I suppose that’s why ADHD has such a stigma attached to it. Everybody seems to think they have the answer as to why we act and think the way we do - attach it to some sin or demonize it in some way.

When I took the medication, it was like putting on glasses for the first time; total understanding. In a way, it was much like gaining a testimony, although a lot less spiritual. I suppose that if someone is having difficulty in connecting with the Holy Ghost, they would never be able to check their own information to see if it was valid.

Well, I'm not going to make any assumptions on Brian. I simply don’t have all the evidence. I've invited him to call and talk about it, but he hasn’t responded. I went over to his house a couple of weeks ago, and his wife treated me as if I had the plague. From a time when they used to insist that I was like family and that I should just walk in, to a time when they speak to me through a tiny crack in the doorway - I don’t think its something minor.

If it is on him, hopefully he can find the way; Prayers to him. If not, I hope that I can be given the grace of someday understanding.

[Messenger]

Finally, after a month or so, I got my Adult ADHD website up and running. I was going to post the link here, but then I thought maybe it was illegal on this board to post a link. So I will refrain until someone says its OK. I just wanted to know what you all thought. I'd be happy to respond to a PM for a request of the URL.

Thanks!

[Nathair/|\]

I wanted to post this in the Temple Grandin thread, but that's locked. So, since this is the only active mental health thread, I will announce it here. I had a chance to look at some of my old medical records and it turns out I already have a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. I don't know why my doctor didn't tell me.

That explains why I get obsessive on certain topics and don't always post like normal people.

[Messenger]

I wanted to post this in the Temple Grandin thread, but that's locked. So, since this is the only active mental health thread, I will announce it here. I had a chance to look at some of my old medical records and it turns out I already have a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. I don't know why my doctor didn't tell me.

That explains why I get obsessive on certain topics and don't always post like normal people.

I get obessed on subject once in a while too. For me, they call that Hyperfocus. When combined with creativity, its pretty amazing what a person can acomplish. But, when its a negative hyperfocus, its not good. Luckily I am learning to train myself to recognize it, and alert those around me that I am having it. But it wont make it go away. The only way I have found so far is to walk away from it, and do something different. It can go away in two hours, or as long as two days. But at least I dont blame myself anymore and I realize this is one if the things I am learning to deal with. They still happen about twice a month.

However, I have learned to have lots of projects going on so that I dont get hyperfocused anymore. The old apartment I live in is a real blessing in that area. There's aways things to fix, which helps me take my mind off of the hyperfocus subject. But getting hyperfocused at night absolutely means no sleep, cuz there isnt anything to do. The trick is trying to keep things that would upset me and hyperfocused away from my life. The simple life is better.

Now, if I only had a touch of Asperger's Syndrome, I might be a little better at math! LOL

[TAO]

I wanted to post this in the Temple Grandin thread, but that's locked. So, since this is the only active mental health thread, I will announce it here. I had a chance to look at some of my old medical records and it turns out I already have a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. I don't know why my doctor didn't tell me.

That explains why I get obsessive on certain topics and don't always post like normal people.

Ah yay! So you do have it too =D =D =D =D (not excited about difficulties, excited about awesomeness )

Edited June 25, 2011 by TAO