Dumbest LDS Urban Legends

[Cold Steel]

Someone gives a lift to a guy, he tells them to get their food storage ready or some such, and when they turn around (while the car is still moving) he's gone.

That is soooooooo weird! I had a dream a lot like that.

In my dream I'm riding down a long, deserted road. I keep passing the same hitchhiker over and over again. Then when I take a side road, I turn around and I see the guy in the back seat, and it's always Glenn Beck!

Man, I get all queasy just thinkin' about it.

A couple times I've heard a story about sister missionaries who ran out of gas on Sunday so they put water in their tank and prayed over it instead. It didn't work.

That is sooooooooo weird. When I was a missionary, an ox belonging to a friend of ours was caught in a ditch on Sunday. We didn't have any water, but we fed the animal gasoline and prayed over it instead. It didn't work, either.

.

[Henzelli]

I've never heard any of these, but I did hear one when I was in school:

The garments Mormons wear are actually magical wizard robes that they have to keep hidden (hence the term "magic underwear") or else real Christians will know who Satan's wizards really are and thwart their efforts in leading Christians astray.

The closest I've seen to a Mormon wizard was a missionary that visited my mom when I was younger and knew sleight of hand and entertained me with some tricks while my mom got the milk and cookies ready for the poor guy's "conversion therapy." Oh mom...

[Moon Quaker]

When I was in high school, I remember one of my friends tell the following story:

A missionary and his companion (in her brother's mission, of course) attended the worship service of another church. This particular missionary had a broken arm (or the limb of your choosing.) Anyway, at this particular service, the preacher/minister proceeded to heal people and called the sick and afflicted to come forth. Entirely for kicks and giggles, the companionship decided to have the broken-armed missionary go up to "get healed" (wholly as proof to themselves that it was just nonsense.) Much to the surprise of the broken-armed missionary, his arm was healed by this preacher/minister. Obviously this act of healing was the work of Satan himself. The missionary was sick to his stomach. There was only one thing he could do, rebreak his arm and let it heal naturally.

Another one from my high school days (which has already been mentioned in the thread) is the idea that we will all trek back to Missouri. Of all people, I heard this from my seminary teacher.

During the same year, one of my seminary classmates shared a story about a missionary (in her brother's mission, of course) who got shot, but his garments stopped the bullet.

---

Like all urban legends, nothing is ever first-hand. It's always a friend of a friend's cousin. Likewise, it seems to always conveniently be "in my brother's mission," and never "while on his mission, my brother ..."

[justdreamin]

It may have some factual basis, but I always groan when someone tell the story about the boy trapped under the garage door and he's saved by "the birdies".

Then there's the long-debunked "you were generals in the war in heaven" story, falsely attributed to President Packer.

I'm surprised that no one has included the one where the parents go to the temple and while they were gone one or more of their children were saved from drowning in a pool, creek, lake, aquaduct. et al, by a woman/man who told the child her/his name and it was the same name as the person the parents were doing work for. Man I have shivers just writing this!!

The other myth that I last heard in church in 1998 by the High Coucilman (in Georgia USA) was that "playing with face cards is the gateway to obsessive gambling in smoke filled saloons, brothels; alcohol and tobacco use, suffocating the last bit of light from your soul." No mention of cell phones, internet, television.... But to cut him a break he was an 86 yr old cowboy. Good times.

[Olavarria]

I just goes to show, if you have a profound spiritual experience, keep it under your hat. Otherwise, it might lumped into the urban legend pile by others and get desecrated on this board.

[Flyonthewall]

I've never heard any of these, but I did hear one when I was in school:

The garments Mormons wear are actually magical wizard robes that they have to keep hidden (hence the term "magic underwear") or else real Christians will know who Satan's wizards really are and thwart their efforts in leading Christians astray.

The closest I've seen to a Mormon wizard was a missionary that visited my mom when I was younger and knew sleight of hand and entertained me with some tricks while my mom got the milk and cookies ready for the poor guy's "conversion therapy." Oh mom...

That is too funny!

There is a garment story that I remember:

A missionary companion went to a laundramat to wash their clothes on their P-day. They started washing, and left to run an errand while their clothes were in the washer(or dryer). While they were gone, the owner of the laundramat discovered their clothes, and garments, and since he had an axe to grind with mormons, he hung their garments in the window of the laundramat.

When the missionaries came back, they were embarrased, got their clothes and left. The next day the laundramat burned down.

I am sure there are variations to this elders vs. sisters, owner vs customer, burned down before they returned vs sometime later, but that is the gist of the story

[ACW]

I have heard most of these urban legends over the years, but haven't heard them lately....and my kids have yet to be taught any, which makes me happy.

[bizabra]

deleted due to someone else already mentioned it

[Thorkyll]

OK, you know you've heard them. Let's hear the best and the worst.

I remember one when I was tracting in Metarie, LA back in the mid-70's. There were only 16 temples then and only 5 had angel Moroni statues on them.(IIRC) Anyway, at the door I knocked on a man comes up and we introduced ourselves. He says; "Oh, you're Mormons? I know all about you guys. One of my friends is a Stake President and he told me that when the temple with the 7th Angel Moroni is set up, the Lord will be returning!" Then he shook his head, laughed, and shut the door. I was taken aback! I had never heard that one before!

Of course today there are a few more than 7 Angel Moroni statues out there on temples, so there goes that prediction.

Anyway, lets hear some good ones!

- SlackTime

I like the one about Mormons having magic underpants.

[Scottie]

While standing in line for the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland with my new bride last week, we were standing next to a group of about 4 early 20's boys. One of the boys said that the white carriage sitting by the line was the actual carriage used to pull Brigham Young when he died. One of them asked who Brigham Young was, to which the other replied that he founded Mormonism. We got a chuckle out of that.

[Flyonthewall]

Has anyone mentioned the myth of garments saving the lives of Mormons who have been shot? I heard several stories like this about missionaries in other countries.

On my mission I also heard an interesting story regarding the three Nephites.

I have heard a couple about garments saving lives.

One was during a war, not sure which one but most likely WWII, a solder was hit with machine gun fire, and survived. Across his back/front where he was hit, were red welts under his garments.

A man is burned in a fire and has severe burns everywhere but where his garments covered him.

[Scottie]

Has anyone mentioned the myth of garments saving the lives of Mormons who have been shot? I heard several stories like this about missionaries in other countries.

There was one about a soldier in [insert war here] that was carrying a pocket size BoM in his front pocket. A bullet that should have gone through him like soft butter pierced the BoM part way, but didn't go all the way through. The verse it stopped on was, "Even as ye have obeyed my commandments, ye shall be spared" or something like that.

I wonder how you tell the exact page it stopped on?

[SlackTime]

While standing in line for the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland with my new bride last week, we were standing next to a group of about 4 early 20's boys. One of the boys said that the white carriage sitting by the line was the actual carriage used to pull Brigham Young when he died. One of them asked who Brigham Young was, to which the other replied that he founded Mormonism. We got a chuckle out of that.

I thought I had read this one myself before, and checked snopes. Yup! There it was!

Snopes, Disney, and the Hearse

- SlackTime

[Scottie]

A man is burned in a fire and has severe burns everywhere but where his garments covered him.

I know first hand of a lady whose arm was burned by acid in a car accident up to where her garments start. Ironically, her garments start at just about the same spot all the other clothing starts too...

[Scottie]

I thought I had read this one myself before, and checked snopes. Yup! There it was!

Snopes, Disney, and the Hearse

- SlackTime

Wow!! Urban Legend enough to make snopes even!! Who woulda thunk??

[Scottie]

Oh ya! This is a good one!

There was an email circulating a while back about 2 non-LDS professors that were studying redwoods in Oregon. They cut down one redwood that was supposedly thousands of years old, and while dissecting it found a knife that had been embedded in the trunk, which grew around to preserve it. On the handle of the knife were 2 Egyptian symbols. One was pronounced "Mor" and the other was "Oni". The scholars, who had never even heard of the BoM, were baffled at what the 2 symbols meant. An LDS professor got word of it and showed them Moroni in the BoM at which point the 2 professors converted on the spot.

[Flyonthewall]

What is sad is not the myth, but how it becomes circulated with more recent stories. I attended a homecoming for a missionary who had just returned from South America, and he bore his testimony that the same thing happened to someone in his mission. Funny how God only saves people in situations where the miracle can't be verified by independent witnesses. I mean surely there has to be a doctor involved in these tragedies, who could write up a statement supporting the claim. Hasn't anyone thought to do this? I mean that would go a long way in proving the Church true.

I don't think it would go a long way in proving the Church true. It may confirm to others that God does exist, but maybe not a specific church. There are many miracles reported already. Many instances of a patient recovering after the doctors say there is nothing they can do to save someone. Medical miracles can easily be chalked up to our own bodies being efficient and unpredictable in their own healing powers.

[Redefined]

Often, the significance of an event does not occur to us or become clear until sometime after the fact. That does not necessarily negate its having been divinely directed. An oil painting, viewed up close, may seem to be not much more than a series of random brush strokes. Only when one steps back and views it from a more distant perspective does its beauty emerge.

And natural or not, the confluence of events -- a large cricket infestation and the seagulls appearing at the right time -- does seem unusual.

I live in the south end of the Salt Lake Valley and grew up there when it was still a rural area. I've never seen an infestation of Mormon crickets, much less one on the scale of that described in pioneer journals.

Also, as journal keepers, people are less than perfect. They may not be diligent in the frequency of their entries, or they may not include details that would be useful when viewed years later.

Some of my childhood was spent in Mendon, UT. And I don't think I even thought of the cricket seagull story through this experience until now, but we had infestations of grasshoppers so badly for a couple of years, I think around the same time of year. We couldn't ride our bikes down the street without a casualty of grasshoppers in our wake. I never liked the crunching sounds, and I hated when they would hop up and hit my exposed legs or arms. I think I opted out of going outside during those times.

I'm not sure of the exact severity of the crickets, but I can see it definitly possible if all it was "back in the day" was wilderness country.

[toon]

A missionary and his companion (in her brother's mission, of course) attended the worship service of another church. This particular missionary had a broken arm (or the limb of your choosing.) Anyway, at this particular service, the preacher/minister proceeded to heal people and called the sick and afflicted to come forth. Entirely for kicks and giggles, the companionship decided to have the broken-armed missionary go up to "get healed" (wholly as proof to themselves that it was just nonsense.) Much to the surprise of the broken-armed missionary, his arm was healed by this preacher/minister. Obviously this act of healing was the work of Satan himself. The missionary was sick to his stomach. There was only one thing he could do, rebreak his arm and let it heal naturally.

The version I head did not have the missionary rebreaking his arm. Rather, the missionary was so disturbed and confused by the healing that he went to his mission president to discuss. The mission president, either by laying on of hands or raised his right arm, proceeded to cast out the evil spirit, at which point the bone immediately snapped on its own.

Another story I heard was of the temple president who upon returning home at the end of the day, looked out his window at the temple to discover that he had left the temple lights on. As he was about to leave to turn them off, he got a call from the Prophet telling him to stay at home, as Jesus or angels or some other divine being were simply there doing some important temple work.

[emeliza]

with my new bride last week,

Hey, congratulations on the marriage.

When I was investigating this sweet missionary told me this story.

There was a soldier in Iran (Iraq, Afganistan, can't remember). He was patrolling the area and they befriended some children. He taught them about the BoM and the WoW. The children's family invited him to dinner and offered him wine. He didn't want to be rude so he drank it. The father than pointed out what a hypocrite the soldier was and cast him from the house. The children no longer believed anything he said.

Granted this missionary told me the story as a means of saying you should practice what you preach, but I am pretty certain this particular story is a myth.

[phaedrus ut]

I have a few.

• The Vatican has evidence that the LDS church is true and they are hiding it to keep their power.
  
• South American schools use the Book of Mormon as a history text because of it's accuracy and because they get it free from the church. (told by my Stake Missionary companion to a investigating couple)
  
• There are pictographic depictions of the endowment in A.) Mayan Ruins B.) Navajo paintings C.) Egyptian Scrolls.
  
• The LDS church has administrative plans in place when they will be the seat of the world governments upon Jesus' return.
  
• LDS archeologists have found (horses, swords, nephite plates, reformed egyptian, zarahemla, etc..) and it will be published shortly.
  
• The Book of Mormon provides the best evidence for the Dead Sea Scrolls because their translations prove each other to be ancient.
  

Phaedrus

[hordak]

There was one about a soldier in [insert war here] that was carrying a pocket size BoM in his front pocket. A bullet that should have gone through him like soft butter pierced the BoM part way, but didn't go all the way through. The verse it stopped on was, "Even as ye have obeyed my commandments, ye shall be spared" or something like that.

I wonder how you tell the exact page it stopped on?

After it was stopped all his fellow soldiers were amazed to which he replied.

"Nothing gets through second Nephi."

True story.

[Redefined]

After it was stopped all his fellow soldiers were amazed to which he replied.

"Nothing gets through second Nephi."

True story.

LOL! Isn't second Nephi though the "Jesus gospel" part. . . if anything, that is the best part. . . and this is coming from someone with an unorthodox view on the Jesus story!

[selek]

After it was stopped all his fellow soldiers were amazed to which he replied.

"Nothing gets through second Nephi."

True story.

I met a fellow in Bountiful who claimed he was the fellow this happened to...

...though my inner skeptic was (and is) somewhat dubious.

As to the garments protecting a person from burns, Orrin Hatch has testified on national television that it happened to him in a gas explosion (on a family fishing boat, IIRC).

In both instances, we have first hand testimony- one we can verify, the other we cannot.

It's the same issue with any faith promoting story- who is credible and whom do you choose to believe?

[Zakuska]

Has anyone mentioned the myth of garments saving the lives of Mormons who have been shot? I heard several stories like this about missionaries in other countries.

On my mission I also heard an interesting story regarding the three Nephites.

Intresting you should mention that...

My best friend on his mission to brazil (The same town my wife is from) was shot 3 times... from about 8 feet away. Once in each bicept and once to the chest. He still has the bullets in his arms because the Doctors said they were too close to nerves to operate. The bullet to his chest must have missed because he only had two wounds.

Later... in the hospital when he was feeling down in the dumps and wanting to come home, wondering why he wasn't dead . The spirit wishpered to him... "You were shot 3 times... who do you think took the last bullet?"

Take that for what its worth.

No I don't believe Garments are Super Man suits. Because I know plenty of Mormons who have been shot and died wearing their garments, but RE: my friend, I really have to wonder.