tana Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 I can't remember, but are you married?Unless we are defining "passion" differently here, I am not sure how to convey this as I thought I already had more or less. It seems to me so fundamentally obvious if one has experienced it and I would have thought my prior comments would have made it clear what I was talking about and yet you apparently do not understand, I have failed to communicate my meaning but don't know why.I could conclude that this is because you have not experience the same thing, but it may be because we are using the same terms and assuming 'givens' the other understands when it is not so. Or something else. I am not sure how to determine what the issue is.Well, I do believe I get where you are coming from. I am happily married. I have a deep, meaningful relationship with DW. What is your understanding of becoming *one* with your spouse? The definition that I am aware of isn't understandable to me. Is it just to have a common purpose, goal? Is it one brain with two egos? One ego with two brains?
Calm Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 So my next question is how long you have you been married...I think it has to do with developing a special awareness of the other that is unlike one's awareness of anyone else.Someone mentioned last week in church about how he and his new wife have already begun to finish each other's sentences. Not that this can't happen with someone else if one hang around with them a lot, but it happens much more with couples imo because they tend to focus more intently on what the other person is trying to communicate as well as needs and desires than someone who is just a roommate for convenience or even a good friend. I don't see this as two personalities blending into one, but there is a personality of the relationship that is in addition to the two personalities of those involved.Passion, I think, may even blind us to what the other is feeling if we are not careful as we get too overwhelmed by our own feelings to be truly aware of the other's or we want to promote our own desires so much we block out anything of the other's that we think might interfere with the full satisfaction of our own. In selfishness we choose to not be 'distracted' by the other.Love, however, means we are willing to focus our being on the other, even to the point that our passion is linked to theirs, one will not exist without the other. Our experiences of love, as well as passion, feed off of each other, becoming more together then we could experience if we limited our awareness to our internal experience.Very incomplete description, but it is getting late. Perhaps someone can add their thoughts to fill in the gap that I am likely missing still.Have you discussed with your DW this idea, does she see Eros and Agape in the same way that you do? Does she see marriage as two becoming one?
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