Why is polygamy such a hot-button topic?

[Del March]

Paradoxically, only the best and most faithful of monogamists would be adequate candidates for polygamy in my view.

Why "paradoxically"?? It seems logical to me: only those who manage well with one have a chance of doing well with several (whether we're talking of wives, or horses, or jobs, or whatever). If a man can't "get it right" with only one wife, there's no chance he's going to get it right with several!

Del

[Nighthawke]

liz3564

So...in the realm of your unbiased opinion, would you also be accepting of polyandry(polygamy in reverse) if it was sanctioned by God? Would that concept be any more difficult for you to accept?

[Del March]

If God commanded a 46-year-old-man to wed a 14-year-old girl and get her pregnant, would it be wrong for the man to do so?

If he forces her to marry him, by the virtue of the revelation only he received, then yes it would be wrong. She would be entitled to her own revelation from God before making her decision.

If God demands He be the only one we love in a theological sense, why is it wrong for a woman to demand she be the only one a man loves in a marital sense?

Because we are not our spouses' gods, only their partners. God is over us, but spouses are equals.

Should such speculations apply to children too? How do we justify having a second child? Isn't that committing a kind of "adultery" as far as the first child is concerned? Shouldn't we instead focus all our parental love on only one child? Some people DO support that position, after all.

Del

[chump&hisparts]

Joshu,

We are in "bias" as a condition of life, once you escape it you will be like God.

Very interesting thought. SOmething I'd like to explore more.

Thanks,

Chump

[alannasaunt]

Should such speculations apply to children too? How do we justify having a second child? Isn't that committing a kind of "adultery" as far as the first child is concerned? Shouldn't we instead focus all our parental love on only one child? Some people DO support that position, after all.

There is a fundamental difference between the relationship one has with a spouse and a child.

We are supposed to become one with a spouse. This relationship is suppose to grow closer over time. The opposite is true with the child/children. If we do our job as parents, our children become independent from us. Although we maintain contact with them, their main adult responsibilty is to find a spouse of their own and start their own family. They grow closer to their spouse, while teaching their children to be independent. The cycle continues.

[Zakuska]

Correct. I think people over look the little caviot in the BOM.

Jacob 2

30 For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things.

How many Polygamists can you count in Christ's geneology?

[liz3564]

If God demands He be the only one we love in a theological sense, why is it wrong for a woman to demand she be the only one a man loves in a marital sense?

Because we are not our spouses' gods, only their partners. God is over us, but spouses are equals.

Should such speculations apply to children too? How do we justify having a second child? Isn't that committing a kind of "adultery" as far as the first child is concerned? Shouldn't we instead focus all our parental love on only one child? Some people DO support that position, after all.

Del

Cinepro was responding to Dadof7's statement about loving your spouse the way you love God.

In many scriptures, God has stated that He is a "jealous God" and we shall have no Gods before Him.

I'm hoping he'll cut us "jealous" women who don't want to share our husbands some slack!

[alannasaunt]

[i'm hoping he'll cut us "jealous" women who don't want to share our husbands some slack!

I hear ya, sister!!!

[Zakuska]

I'm hoping he'll cut us "jealous" women who don't want to share our husbands some slack!

Do you let your husbands help the widows in the ward?

Then you share your husband more than you know.

A bishops wife knows this as well.

[liz3564]

[i'm hoping he'll cut us "jealous" women who don't want to share our husbands some slack!

I hear ya, sister!!!

Glad you appreciate my sense of humor! LOL

There is a fundamental difference between the relationship one has with a spouse and a child.

We are supposed to become one with a spouse. This relationship is suppose to grow closer over time. The opposite is true with the child/children. If we do our job as parents, our children become independent from us. Although we maintain contact with them, their main adult responsibilty is to find a spouse of their own and start their own family. They grow closer to their spouse, while teaching their children to be independent. The cycle continues.

You also make a compelling point here. Again, I think that is why I have trouble with this principle.

[charity]

Actually, we mere mortals don't have a clue as to what our capacity to love will be like when we are perfect, and no longer struggle with mortal imperfections.

[Zakuska]

Actually, we mere mortals don't have a clue as to what our capacity to love will be like when we are perfect, and no longer struggle with mortal imperfections.

I think this hit the nail firmly on the head.

For God to be able to look at Satan and the vessels of wrath and still love them is beyound comprehension!

[liz3564]

I'm hoping he'll cut us "jealous" women who don't want to share our husbands some slack!

Do you let your husbands help the widows in the ward?

Then you share your husband more than you know.

A bishops wife knows this as well.

As I mentioned to Dadof7 earlier in the thread who brought out a similar point, there is a difference in allowing your spouse to help someone in need, and sharing the emotional and physical intimacy which I consider sacred between a husband and wife with someone else.

[alannasaunt]

Actually, we mere mortals don't have a clue as to what our capacity to love will be like when we are perfect, and no longer struggle with mortal imperfections.

I don't really see our capacity for love being the issue. Maybe a man could love more than one woman. For that matter, maybe I could love more than one man.

For me, the central issue, is being "one" with a spouse. PM negates this proposition.

[KevinG]

Our spouse is someone that we are allowed to and encouraged to love "like unto" the way we love God. This should never change because of age, status, stress or circumstance. Polygamy would certainly make this a greater challenge, but perhaps not so much more a challenge than the other stresses and influences of our lives now.

But God seems to get pretty upset with the idea of someone loving something other than Him. I don't think He would be very open to the idea of us loving 3 or 4 other Gods in addition to him, even if we promised that it wouldn't change the way we felt about Him, and that He would still be the most important God because He was the first one we loved.

Look at the primary reason God has us worship (respect, love) Him and no other God's. It is through Him only that we receive our salvation. Worshiping false god's injures us in the eternal sense. There are no other "true" gods that will provide for our salvation. So a single God (Jesus Christ) is our Savior, and no other substitute will do for us.

If God demands He be the only one we love in a theological sense, why is it wrong for a woman to demand she be the only one a man loves in a marital sense?

With a spouse or spouses we can provide for each other's growth and help each other come unto God, and having one or two or any other combination does not hinder or help that goal as long as it is commanded by God, and the laws associated with that marriage are obeyed. Remember, the practice of the Principle does not require anyone to enter in without their own revelation or agreement to the matter. Threats of eternal desctruction only apply when someone is given a commandment from God, knows it, and purposefully rejects that commandment. This is not unique to marriage, it is universal of all God's commandments. And why does God command us to do things? Because when we obey, He can bless us. What is damnation and destruction? The loss of blessings we cannot have because we did not accept them, or failing to avoid destruction because we would not be warned.

I have so often seen the idea romantic love, so blur peoples understanding of the verb love, the work love and the challenge love, that is neccessary for marriage to work. The idea of a consuming attraction overcoming all obstacles and challenges without effort on the part of the betrothed, is so damaging to those who seek it. There is a lot more to marriage than warm fuzzies, and I cannot tell you how many divorces have occurred because of that notion, simply because one or th other partner just didn't "feel it" anymore.

Working on the relationship, with respect, sacrifice and all that goes with it is the way to retain those warm feelings, not just expecting them to remain because you got twitterpated at some point. (And let me tell you after lot's of distractions, age and challenges I'm just as hopelessly in love with my wife, but it takes constant nurturing on the part of both spouses).

[liz3564]

Actually, we mere mortals don't have a clue as to what our capacity to love will be like when we are perfect, and no longer struggle with mortal imperfections.

This is very true. It's kind of a paradox, though, because I've heard that our basic personalities don't change.

Like I have said before, this is simply a concept which I can't fathom. I'm not saying that it is "wrong". I just can't see myself being able to accept it.

As Charity and others here have said, accepting the principle seems to defy logic and is simply a matter of faith and trust in the Lord.

[Zakuska]

Lets remove the physical element for a moment...

As I mentioned to Dadof7 earlier in the thread who brought out a similar point, there is a difference in allowing your spouse to help someone in need, and sharing the emotional intimacy ... which I consider sacred between a husband and wife with someone else.

IMHO, When one gets over the me, myself, and I, and is able to share this Itmiate type of relationship with everyone he meets, one becomes more God like... who is able to share an even more intimate releationship with the whole world than even a man and wife can share.

[liz3564]

Working on the relationship, with respect, sacrifice and all that goes with it is the way to retain those warm feelings, not just expecting them to remain because you got twitterpated at some point. (And let me tell you after lot's of distractions, age and challenges I'm just as hopelessly in love with my wife, but it takes constant nurturing on the part of both spouses).

And this is exactly where the internal conflict happens for me, Dadof7. I have been married for almost 20 years. We have had many ups and downs and worked together to maintain our love and commitment for each other. It has taken work on the part of both of us. I just can't imagine adding another person into that very emotionally intimate mix.

[alannasaunt]

Remember, the practice of the Principle does not require anyone to enter in without their own revelation or agreement to the matter.

It is my understanding that this was not necessarily true for the first wife. Husbands often took polygamous wives without the first's consent.

Even today, there are possible situations where a man could be sealed to a second wife without the first's consent.

[Redeemed]

God Has never endorsed polygamy and He never will. Its Always one man one woman in gods comands. Please notice He didn't create Adam & Eve & Molly & Sue & Nichole. Polygamy is a result of a fallenworld and man, Not God.

redeemed

[charity]

It is probably true that today most "polygamous" marriages are done without the first wife's consent. Because she died and then the widower married again.

[KevinG]

Romantic love follows friendship, trust, hard work and sacrifice... Not the other way around.

What makes romance or physical attraction so much more problematic to share than attention, time, work, and other types of intimacy?

I'm not saying it isn't problematic, I'm just saying why is it different than other types of intimacy, that we see as socially acceptable to share with those outside the marriage in appropriate balance and measure?

[alannasaunt]

It is probably true that today most "polygamous" marriages are done without the first wife's consent. Because she died and then the widower married again.

Yes, or in the case of divorce where the sealing is still in effect.

Where is the justice (or consent) in this for wife number one?

[Redeemed]

For this reason a man will leave His father and mother and be joined to his wife [not wifes] and the two [not 3,4,5,6] will become one flesh. Ephesians 5:31

redeemed

[KevinG]

It is probably true that today most "polygamous" marriages are done without the first wife's consent.  Because she died and then the widower married again.

In my case my wife has been very clear on who would or would not be acceptable to her as a sister to her, parent to her children, and partner to me, if she were to pass away in an untimely manner. This is not uncommon among those who I've discussed the subject with.

Of course I've had some scary experiences that have forced me to consider this possibility in the past. An abrahamic test of sorts, which mercifully we did not have to endure. But I've actually had to consider the ramifications.

As far as the sealings in cases of divorce go, the wife is to remain sealed until she remarries herself, not to trap her in a bad marriage, but to insure that the ordinance of sealing, which is a prerequisite to being in the highest realm of the Celestial glory, is still in effect for her. The sealing is undone as soon as she has an opportunity to enter into that covenant with someone who will honor her.

And for those of you who can't resist the rapid fire sound bite pot shots... Please knock it off with the disembodied out of context scriptures and cheap shots. The other thread got shut down because of your sheneigans, and this one has so far managed to be respectful and worthwhile.