I'm new here, I'm not sure if this topic aligns with other topics here, because it's something about the church that I'm struggling with. I've been struggling with a few things, but this one is really eating at me today, so here I am. I'm in some LDS Facebook groups, but I didn't feel comfortable posting there. So hi! Teenage convert (13 years ago), married, 4 kids.
Does anyone struggle with the church being so family-centered, and yet they ask one or both parents to leave their family duties to help with church activities/callings all the time?
The whole four years my husband was in dental school, which is challenging enough for a young family, he was YM President. We went from 1-3 babies during the duration of his calling — that’s how long he was in it. And during that time he never missed an event. He was going to mutual every week and staying after for hours, doing Boy Scouts activities, camp outs once a month, sometimes week-long camp outs, going to church early, staying at church late, driving kids to church dances, chaperoning dances, dropping what he was doing to give someone a ride, the list goes on as many of you know. I look back on that time and think, wow. We were stretched so thin because of church during an already stressful time in our lives. And anytime I’d try to put my foot down and say, “No, not this time. I really need you helping me with the kids today.” He felt like he was letting everyone down by helping me, so he would choose the calling. It drove me nuts.
Fast forward to him now having a stake calling as YM secretary, and it’s youth conference this weekend. After already coming home late from work every day this week, and me having mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks (something new and scary for me to navigate. I recently had baby #4, and never felt like this before), he went straight from work to attend the conference yesterday and didn’t come home until after midnight, and was up this morning at 6 to go again and won’t be back until 6 tonight. He felt like he’d me letting them down if he helped me.
It’s just super hard for me to be literally crying out for help for years now, and our family comes second to church stuff.
Feelings of resentment are really stirring up, and I don’t want to feel that way towards the church. I know service is important. I know. But why is it so often prioritized over families?
Again, sorry if this is not in line with the purpose of this forum. 😳