How do you define spiritual progress?

[nuclearfuels]

I believe our spiritual progress is defined by many things, including our calling but not limited to our calling. 

What do you do to check on your spiritual progress? How do you know you're progressing when you basically serve with the youth for 20 years, in many states and make stakes?

[let’s roll]

My experience has been that my calling per se has had little to do with my spiritual health/progress.

What has had the most direct impact is how intentional I have been in my efforts to commune with Deity via gratitude, stillness, and inquiry and my willingness to take action on the promptings received during that communion—typically comforting, counseling and serving others.

All callings are best approached by seeking communion and also provide avenues for services.  Regardless of my calling at any given time, I have experienced progress when I am spiritually intentional and wavered when I’ve been more spiritually casual.

Edited November 4 by let’s roll

[Dario_M]

Well.. my spirituality have improved after i have prayed in the woods for a couple of times. I feel that i have progressed quite a lot. In one of my pray sessions in the woods i felt the presence of God, unfortunately with said news. I probably won't live for a long time. Something is going to happen in my life. I'm not sure about this revelation. But i believe in it. I think i should talk about this with my stake president. But i haven't done that yet. Because of the taboo vibe around the subject. 

[rpn]

I don't think that calling has anything whatsoever to do with spiritual progress.  

 

[CV75]

12 hours ago, nuclearfuels said:

I believe our spiritual progress is defined by many things, including our calling but not limited to our calling. 

What do you do to check on your spiritual progress? How do you know you're progressing when you basically serve with the youth for 20 years, in many states and make stakes?

Alma 5: 1 - 32.

[Rain]

12 hours ago, let’s roll said:

My experience has been that my calling per se has had little to do with my spiritual health/progress.

What has had the most direct impact is how intentional I have been in my efforts to commune with Deity via gratitude, stillness, and inquiry and my willingness to take action on the promptings received during that communion—typically comforting, counseling and serving others.

All callings are best approached by seeking communion and also provide avenues for services.  Regardless of my calling at any given time, I have experienced progress when I am spiritually intentional and wavered when I’ve been more spiritually casual.

This is how I feel as well. For me the measurement of spirituality comes from the willingness (both intention and action) of listening (in whatever way is good at the moment) to God. 

[Kevin Christensen]

Like this:

Quote

for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand.  (Alma 32:34)

And this:

Quote

By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile... (D&C 121:42)

and this:

Quote

Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

5 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;

6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;

7 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.

8 For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1)

And this:

Quote

"There is one principle I wish to urge upon the Saints in a way that it may remain with them, --that is, to understand men and women as they are, and not as you are."  Brigham Young, (JD 8:37)

And this from the Perry Scheme of Cognitive and Ethical Growth

Quote

POSITION 9.  Commitments in Relativism further developed.

The person now has a developed sense of irony and can more easily embrace  other's viewpoints. He can accept life as just that "life", just the way IT is! Now he holds the commitments he makes in a condition of "PROVISIONAL ULTIMACY", meaning that for him what he chooses to be truth IS his truth, and he acts as if it is ultimate truth, but there is still a "provision" for change. He has no illusions about having "arrived" permanently on top of some heap, he is ready and knows he will have to retrace his journey over and over, but he has hope that he will do it each time more wisely. He is aware that he is developing his IDENTITY through Commitment. He can affirm the inseparable nature of the knower and the known--meaning he knows he as knower contributes to what he calls known. He helps weld a community by sharing realization of aloneness and gains  strength and intimacy through this shared vulnerability. He has discarded obedience in favor of his own agency, and he continues to select, judge, and build. 

FWIW

Kevin Christensen

Canonsburg, PA

[Dario_M]

16 minutes ago, Rain said:

This is how I feel as well. For me the measurement of spirituality comes from the willingness (both intention and action) of listening (in whatever way is good at the moment) to God. 

But...didn't you said that you did not believed anymore? 

[The Nehor]

I have no idea. I have been told I am getting better at it but I don’t see it.

[Rain]

1 hour ago, Dario_M said:

But...didn't you said that you did not believed anymore? 

I don't believe that the church is God's only church on earth today. I don't believe the leaders in this church have more of a connection to God than other churches do.  I'm unsure if I believe in the atonement or not, but I don't believe it as the church teaches it.

I've never stopped believing in God or his love for each of us.  I believe he sometimes talks with us, but don't believe he is talking everytime someone says he did and at the same time believe he talks when few hear.

[Dario_M]

1 hour ago, The Nehor said:

I have been told I am getting better at it but I don’t see it.

By who? 🙂

[JVW]

18 hours ago, nuclearfuels said:

I believe our spiritual progress is defined by many things, including our calling but not limited to our calling. 

What do you do to check on your spiritual progress? How do you know you're progressing when you basically serve with the youth for 20 years, in many states and make stakes?

Our spiritual progress is not defined by our calling. Take Judas as an example.

Here is how I think about avoiding self-deception when examining my relationship with God and my level of spirituality.

In Alma 34 faith in Jesus Christ is compared to a seed. Here is the order of operations when a seed grows: seed > roots > sprout > trunk > leaves > flowers > fruit. Note that the fruit is the final thing that the tree produces. Jesus said, "by their fruits ye shall know them" and "if ye love me, keep my commandments". The fruit of my tree is what I naturally do (according to my desires) in living my day to day life. When it comes to which comes first, the "love of God" comes first and the "keeping the commandments" naturally follows. If I am forcing myself to do something even though I don't want to do it, it doesn't mean that doing it won't have value, but it is important to recognize that element of my action and note on how it reflects on my spirituality.

There are so many sermons I hear about how people should attend the temple more, or how they should minister more, or whatever. I think these sermons miss the mark many times. People don't need to hear as much about what to do. They need to hear about who to love, and how to love. President Monson put it eloquently, "Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved." If ministering rates are low, it means that the members in the congregation are not close to Christ. The solution is to preach and testify of Christ. It is to do as President Nelson suggested last conference that we spend time every week trying to understand Christ's sacrifice better.

This is why a "cookie cutter" style of religion is so harmful. It leads to self-deception in which people think they are close to God when they couldn't be further away from Him, because they are deceitful and lying in their actions. They have fooled themselves into believing they are close to God while they are busy feeling anxious, depressed, and guilt-laden. An essential characteristic of a good relationship is trust, vulnerability, and intimacy. None of these are present in the "cookie cutter" approach.

So if you are reflecting on your relationship with God consider these sorts of things... Do I actually want to do my calling? How often do I sincerely pray and converse with God? Do I read scriptures because I feel like it, or because I feel like I have to? Why do I do any religious activity? What is my true motive?

In my mind, it can all be summed up in one question. Do I care? I don't know if you've noticed, but in the church, or at work, most people don't care. They just try to do the bare minimum in order to appease their conscience and call it a day. Personally, I don't really care very much. I do the minimum in my callings and in my day-to-day life I rarely reach out to those in my community. But in matters of my family I care very much. So there is some good fruit on my tree, and there is also some rotten fruit and I'll need to cut off some branches and graft some new ones or whatever to fix it. I'd say my level of spirituality, or the quality of my relationship with God is somewhere around a 4/10 right now.

[InCognitus]

20 hours ago, nuclearfuels said:

I believe our spiritual progress is defined by many things, including our calling but not limited to our calling. 

What do you do to check on your spiritual progress? How do you know you're progressing when you basically serve with the youth for 20 years, in many states and make stakes?

If a calling has anything to do with "spiritual progress" then I would rank the Nursery leaders, Primary teachers, and youth leaders and advisors among the most important in the church.  The Savior certainly viewed little children as some of the most important in his kingdom, so wouldn't their teachers and leaders require the greatest trust and responsibility?

 

[The Nehor]

3 hours ago, JVW said:

Our spiritual progress is not defined by our calling. Take Judas as an example.

Here is how I think about avoiding self-deception when examining my relationship with God and my level of spirituality.

In Alma 34 faith in Jesus Christ is compared to a seed. Here is the order of operations when a seed grows: seed > roots > sprout > trunk > leaves > flowers > fruit. Note that the fruit is the final thing that the tree produces. Jesus said, "by their fruits ye shall know them" and "if ye love me, keep my commandments". The fruit of my tree is what I naturally do (according to my desires) in living my day to day life. When it comes to which comes first, the "love of God" comes first and the "keeping the commandments" naturally follows. If I am forcing myself to do something even though I don't want to do it, it doesn't mean that doing it won't have value, but it is important to recognize that element of my action and note on how it reflects on my spirituality.

There are so many sermons I hear about how people should attend the temple more, or how they should minister more, or whatever. I think these sermons miss the mark many times. People don't need to hear as much about what to do. They need to hear about who to love, and how to love. President Monson put it eloquently, "Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved." If ministering rates are low, it means that the members in the congregation are not close to Christ. The solution is to preach and testify of Christ. It is to do as President Nelson suggested last conference that we spend time every week trying to understand Christ's sacrifice better.

This is why a "cookie cutter" style of religion is so harmful. It leads to self-deception in which people think they are close to God when they couldn't be further away from Him, because they are deceitful and lying in their actions. They have fooled themselves into believing they are close to God while they are busy feeling anxious, depressed, and guilt-laden. An essential characteristic of a good relationship is trust, vulnerability, and intimacy. None of these are present in the "cookie cutter" approach.

So if you are reflecting on your relationship with God consider these sorts of things... Do I actually want to do my calling? How often do I sincerely pray and converse with God? Do I read scriptures because I feel like it, or because I feel like I have to? Why do I do any religious activity? What is my true motive?

In my mind, it can all be summed up in one question. Do I care? I don't know if you've noticed, but in the church, or at work, most people don't care. They just try to do the bare minimum in order to appease their conscience and call it a day. Personally, I don't really care very much. I do the minimum in my callings and in my day-to-day life I rarely reach out to those in my community. But in matters of my family I care very much. So there is some good fruit on my tree, and there is also some rotten fruit and I'll need to cut off some branches and graft some new ones or whatever to fix it. I'd say my level of spirituality, or the quality of my relationship with God is somewhere around a 4/10 right now.

So even if you do the right thing if you don’t feel like doing the right thing it doesn’t fully count? This approach is why a lot of members give up. They are told they are supposed to spontaneously want to do everything they are told they are supposed to do and they don’t. They are anxious, depressed, and guilt-laden and when they realize that they often either become joyless or quit. Trust, vulnerability, and intimacy are not something you create either. They are earned.

[MustardSeed]

You simply cannot convince me that callings are an indication of spiritual progress. No way no how.  In fact, I find the idea reprehensible. (Not you, the idea  ) 

[Rain]

On 11/3/2024 at 9:31 PM, nuclearfuels said:

I believe our spiritual progress is defined by many things, including our calling but not limited to our calling. 

What do you do to check on your spiritual progress? How do you know you're progressing when you basically serve with the youth for 20 years, in many states and make stakes?

So with this theory, would the prophet be the most spiritually progressed living being? 

Edited November 5 by Rain

[manol]

On 11/3/2024 at 10:31 PM, nuclearfuels said:

What do you do to check on your spiritual progress?

I think I am making spiritual progress when I learn something, and use it, and feel inside that I am now a little bit closer to God... even though I still have a long, long, very long ways to go.   When that's not happening, I'm probably stagnating. 

When I encounter an idea that stands out to me, I try to jot it down so I can remember it and perhaps run it through an "Alma Chapter 32" protocol (give the seed a fair chance to grow).  Right now I'm running the Alma Chapter 32 protocol on an idea that goes something like this:  "Everything is an opportunity". 

5 hours ago, JVW said:

Our spiritual progress is not defined by our calling. Take Judas as an example.

Here is how I think about avoiding self-deception when examining my relationship with God and my level of spirituality.

In Alma 34 faith in Jesus Christ is compared to a seed. Here is the order of operations when a seed grows: seed > roots > sprout > trunk > leaves > flowers > fruit. Note that the fruit is the final thing that the tree produces. Jesus said, "by their fruits ye shall know them" and "if ye love me, keep my commandments". The fruit of my tree is what I naturally do (according to my desires) in living my day to day life. When it comes to which comes first, the "love of God" comes first and the "keeping the commandments" naturally follows. If I am forcing myself to do something even though I don't want to do it, it doesn't mean that doing it won't have value, but it is important to recognize that element of my action and note on how it reflects on my spirituality.

There are so many sermons I hear about how people should attend the temple more, or how they should minister more, or whatever. I think these sermons miss the mark many times. People don't need to hear as much about what to do. They need to hear about who to love, and how to love. President Monson put it eloquently, "Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved." If ministering rates are low, it means that the members in the congregation are not close to Christ. The solution is to preach and testify of Christ. It is to do as President Nelson suggested last conference that we spend time every week trying to understand Christ's sacrifice better.

This is why a "cookie cutter" style of religion is so harmful. It leads to self-deception in which people think they are close to God when they couldn't be further away from Him, because they are deceitful and lying in their actions. They have fooled themselves into believing they are close to God while they are busy feeling anxious, depressed, and guilt-laden. An essential characteristic of a good relationship is trust, vulnerability, and intimacy. None of these are present in the "cookie cutter" approach.

So if you are reflecting on your relationship with God consider these sorts of things... Do I actually want to do my calling? How often do I sincerely pray and converse with God? Do I read scriptures because I feel like it, or because I feel like I have to? Why do I do any religious activity? What is my true motive?

In my mind, it can all be summed up in one question. Do I care? I don't know if you've noticed, but in the church, or at work, most people don't care. They just try to do the bare minimum in order to appease their conscience and call it a day. Personally, I don't really care very much. I do the minimum in my callings and in my day-to-day life I rarely reach out to those in my community. But in matters of my family I care very much. So there is some good fruit on my tree, and there is also some rotten fruit and I'll need to cut off some branches and graft some new ones or whatever to fix it. I'd say my level of spirituality, or the quality of my relationship with God is somewhere around a 4/10 right now.

This is magnificent.  Thank you. 

The first two great commandments (the ones which all the law and the prophets, even the modern ones, hang on) are neither "thou shalt do" nor "thou shalt not do" commandments.  They are about what (or maybe who?) is in our hearts. 

Edited November 5 by manol

[let’s roll]

2 hours ago, The Nehor said:

They are told they are supposed to spontaneously want to do everything they are told they are supposed to do and they don’t.

I have never been told this and I would invite anyone who believes this to more closely examine the Gospel message.  That’s not to say this might not be akin to what some people take away from discussions on obedience and conversion but aligning our will with His is most often a long painful quest.  I certainly would never describe it as spontaneous.  
 

Instead, spontaneous more aptly describes the inclination of the natural man which is to do things “my way.”  Obedience is an exercise in converting our actions from “my way” to His way, typically beginning with doing it His way out of a sense of duty, but over time our obedience can be more an act of love than duty until ultimately His way becomes our way.  
 

My experience has been that a vital part of that conversion is first understanding that the blessings that come from doing things His way follow the same pattern as the obedience itself.  That is, if our expectation is that our obedience will result in blessing we want (blessings “my way”) we will often be disappointed.  As we convert our outlook from expecting what we want to accepting, and ultimately embracing, the blessings/learnings/wisdom that He provides as a result of our obedience, regardless of how difficult they seem to the our natural man /my way inclinations, we move towards knowing and loving Him better, and by definition, life eternal.

Edited November 5 by let’s roll

[Kenngo1969]

For what it's worth, I thought of this quotation from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis:

Quote

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

 

[JVW]

11 hours ago, The Nehor said:

So even if you do the right thing if you don’t feel like doing the right thing it doesn’t fully count? This approach is why a lot of members give up. They are told they are supposed to spontaneously want to do everything they are told they are supposed to do and they don’t. They are anxious, depressed, and guilt-laden and when they realize that they often either become joyless or quit. Trust, vulnerability, and intimacy are not something you create either. They are earned.

If you want to do something, do it. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. It's a simple as that. If someone doesn't want to go to church, don't. Don't make excuses. If you are taught that doing x is something that God wants, and you don't feel like doing it, don't do it. Then have a personal conversation with God about why you aren't doing it and be honest with Him and instead go and do whatever you feel like doing. The key is to be honest with God, not two-faced, not deceptive. He can't fix anyone until they recognize they are broken and offer themselves up to Him in order to be fixed.

I am advocating for being honest and having integrity. God works with broken people, not "whole" people. The result of repentance is leaving a sin behind, that isn't how one repents. Repentance is about turning to Christ, not about doing or not doing something you're supposed to. So people need to stop focusing on "doing the right thing" and instead focus on Christ while living according to the desires of their hearts. God changes hearts, and a new heart results in new behavior, not the other way around.

[Rain]

22 minutes ago, JVW said:

If you want to do something, do it. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. It's a simple as that. If someone doesn't want to go to church, don't. Don't make excuses. If you are taught that doing x is something that God wants, and you don't feel like doing it, don't do it. Then have a personal conversation with God about why you aren't doing it and be honest with Him and instead go and do whatever you feel like doing. The key is to be honest with God, not two-faced, not deceptive. He can't fix anyone until they recognize they are broken and offer themselves up to Him in order to be fixed.

I am advocating for being honest and having integrity. God works with broken people, not "whole" people. The result of repentance is leaving a sin behind, that isn't how one repents. Repentance is about turning to Christ, not about doing or not doing something you're supposed to. So people need to stop focusing on "doing the right thing" and instead focus on Christ while living according to the desires of their hearts. God changes hearts, and a new heart results in new behavior, not the other way around.

I think there is somewhere in the middle though where you are being honest, don't want to do something and it is a good thing to do.  For example, I don't know anyone who actually wants to change diapers, but it is necessary for everyone's comfort and happiness.  I don't think it is ungodly to not want to do it. I don't think it's sinful to not want to do it.  I think there are things that are "spiritual" in nature that for some people can be like changing a diaper.  Don't get me wrong, I am definitely not someone, anymore, that thinks we should have this long list of things we should do whether we like them of not.  I advocate for talking with God to see what feels right and not worry about the list of others.  I just think some things that feel right are going to be things we don't want to do.  

[manol]

48 minutes ago, Kenngo1969 said:

For what it's worth, I thought of this quotation from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” 

That is beautiful, thank you @Kenngo1969.  I ran across this the other day, it's not the same idea but kinda related:

A man comes across a bricklayer laying bricks.  He asks, "What are you doing"?  The bricklayer responds, "I'm laying bricks."

The man sees a second bricklayer nearby and asks what he is doing.  He replies, "I'm building a church."

The man asks a third bricklayer the same question.  He says, "I'm bringing people closer to God."

48 minutes ago, JVW said:

If you want to do something, do it. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. It's a simple as that. If someone doesn't want to go to church, don't. Don't make excuses. If you are taught that doing x is something that God wants, and you don't feel like doing it, don't do it. Then have a personal conversation with God about why you aren't doing it and be honest with Him and instead go and do whatever you feel like doing. The key is to be honest with God, not two-faced, not deceptive. He can't fix anyone until they recognize they are broken and offer themselves up to Him in order to be fixed.

I am advocating for being honest and having integrity. God works with broken people, not "whole" people. The result of repentance is leaving a sin behind, that isn't how one repents. Repentance is about turning to Christ, not about doing or not doing something you're supposed to. So people need to stop focusing on "doing the right thing" and instead focus on Christ while living according to the desires of their hearts. God changes hearts, and a new heart results in new behavior, not the other way around.  [emphasis manol's]

I love the honesty you advocate here.  And the idea of really focusing on Christ and allowing that to have its effect on us. 

[JVW]

31 minutes ago, Rain said:

I think there is somewhere in the middle though where you are being honest, don't want to do something and it is a good thing to do.  For example, I don't know anyone who actually wants to change diapers, but it is necessary for everyone's comfort and happiness.  I don't think it is ungodly to not want to do it. I don't think it's sinful to not want to do it.  I think there are things that are "spiritual" in nature that for some people can be like changing a diaper.  Don't get me wrong, I am definitely not someone, anymore, that thinks we should have this long list of things we should do whether we like them of not.  I advocate for talking with God to see what feels right and not worry about the list of others.  I just think some things that feel right are going to be things we don't want to do.  

I understand your point, and it is parallel to the way I think, but not quite the same. I'm not sure how to express it. There was a period of my life in which I regarded myself as less-active, but still attended church every week in spite of not being interested in it. I also never prayed or read scriptures (before, during, and after this time). Do I think it was bad that I went to church? No, maybe? Do I think it would have been better if I was more honest with God, myself, and my wife and stopped attending church? Not necessarily. I was aware of my desires when I attended church. I was hoping and clinging onto something, it was almost like an act of desperation.

On the other hand, a family I'm assigned to minister to, I typically pick up their kids every other week for church because the parents are split and one's a drunk and the other doesn't like religion. For around 4-5 months I didn't reach out to them or pick up their kids a single time. I was processing my mom's teminal diagnosis and it was all I could do some days to just get out of bed in the morning. I could have 'changed the diaper' and picked up the kids every other week, but I didn't. Would it have been better if I did? Maybe, probably? Or would it have been the straw that broke the camel's back in my world? I don't know, but I was honest with God during this time and I did what I felt like doing in my broken and weak effort to try and live my day-to-day life of work, family, errands, etc.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but I think you'll understand. It is a nebulous, hugely personal, determination to decide when 'changing the diaper' is the right choice. In general, in the church, I see people lie through their teeth. Everyone is 'nice', 'friendly', does their callings without caring about it. So my comments tend to be harsher because where I'm at there is too much deception and self-deception among the members. In other parts of the world, softer comments may be more appropriate. Perhaps there are wards where too many people shirk their duties and responsibilities because of how they feel, and they need to knock it off.

[Rain]

18 minutes ago, JVW said:

I understand your point, and it is parallel to the way I think, but not quite the same. I'm not sure how to express it. There was a period of my life in which I regarded myself as less-active, but still attended church every week in spite of not being interested in it. I also never prayed or read scriptures (before, during, and after this time). Do I think it was bad that I went to church? No, maybe? Do I think it would have been better if I was more honest with God, myself, and my wife and stopped attending church? Not necessarily. I was aware of my desires when I attended church. I was hoping and clinging onto something, it was almost like an act of desperation.

On the other hand, a family I'm assigned to minister to, I typically pick up their kids every other week for church because the parents are split and one's a drunk and the other doesn't like religion. For around 4-5 months I didn't reach out to them or pick up their kids a single time. I was processing my mom's teminal diagnosis and it was all I could do some days to just get out of bed in the morning. I could have 'changed the diaper' and picked up the kids every other week, but I didn't. Would it have been better if I did? Maybe, probably? Or would it have been the straw that broke the camel's back in my world? I don't know, but I was honest with God during this time and I did what I felt like doing in my broken and weak effort to try and live my day-to-day life of work, family, errands, etc.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but I think you'll understand. It is a nebulous, hugely personal, determination to decide when 'changing the diaper' is the right choice. In general, in the church, I see people lie through their teeth. Everyone is 'nice', 'friendly', does their callings without caring about it. So my comments tend to be harsher because where I'm at there is too much deception and self-deception among the members. In other parts of the world, softer comments may be more appropriate. Perhaps there are wards where too many people shirk their duties and responsibilities because of how they feel, and they need to knock it off.

I think the problem is we really don't know where the other people are.  We only know where we are, and sometimes not even that.

Years ago I had a visiting teacher who came on the last day of every month and dropped off some craft.  I felt like I was only a check on her list.  A few years later I found out she was experiencing some pretty bad depression during the time she was my VT.  She expressed in a lesson or talk that this was the only way she could do her VTing during that time. 

Many years before that I had depression and had plans not to live. During that time I had no energy, but managed to wash my roommates dishes which kept me going one more day.

Now should have my VT decided to not come so I didn't feel like a checkmark with her self deception that she was caring for me? Or was it good she did because it might have helped heal her?  I don't know.  I don't think we can decide for others why they do or don't do things and just give them some grace.

[MustardSeed]

This might be too much of a departure. But I honestly don’t think people do anything that doesn’t offer some perceived benefit.
Changin a diaper might seem laborious, I mean it’s not like it’s ever fun for anybody? But there is a perceived benefit. I feel better but myself as a caretaker if I don’t leave my charge soaking in elimination.
 

Perhaps the application here is, if I’m going to church and grumbling about it, or if I accept a Ministering assignment and I don’t do it, there must be a perceived benefit to attending, or to accepting and holding on to a calling. 
Once we can identify the perceived benefit, we can face reality and weigh the pros and cons a little more honestly. Then, it might be easier to show up in a new way and refuse the calling or stop attending. Or, obviously, stop, complaining, or stop avoiding the responsibility.