My son is engaged to be married to an Ecuadorian nanny in about two weeks.

[Tacenda]

My husband and I met her family today online with google and we had a good conversation. She has two brothers and two niece and nephews. Her mother is Jehovah's Witness but not active, but a belief in God/Jesus. 

She has just a few months left before she'll have to leave to Ecuador. We are trying to figure out a way for her to stay. They've been dating for a year and a half. They've spent nearly every weekend together since they've met and soon will get married, but she's torn because she also wants to see her family again. On her Visa she is a J-1 status, which means it says she must return to Ecuador for 2 years before coming back to the US. 

She said she wrote her government asking them to allow her to stay, we're praying this can happen. Her family are wonderful from what we've seen today, but I'm so sad that this situation is so difficult. They were very accepting of my son and us, but still feel sad or devastated that they are losing their sister and daughter now, or all they'll get is visits from her in the future, and possibly they'll visit her here. 

Has anyone experienced this before? I already have a Mexican son in law so you would think this would be easier. But it's just that she won't live near her family that is such a sick feeling for me. But hoping anyone here has some good news on how it can all work out or some advice too.

I guess I just need a support system, since it feels kind of scary for what the future holds. I feel for her mother especially. For a long time when my daughter married her husband, I thought he would take her to Mexico, and I'd have nightmares worrying. He's illegal, since his dad brought him over just out of high school a long with his brother and sister over 20 years ago.

[blackstrap]

1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

She has just a few months left before she'll have to leave to Ecuador. We are trying to figure out a way for her to stay. They've been dating for a year and a half. They've spent nearly every weekend together since they've met and soon will get married, but she's torn because she also wants to see her family again. On her Visa she is a J-1 status, which means it says she must return to Ecuador for 2 years before coming back to the US. 

Please clarify. Where is she now and where has she been living and will her status change once married ?

[Tacenda]

14 minutes ago, blackstrap said:

Please clarify. Where is she now and where has she been living and will her status change once married ?

She is in Sandy, Utah at this time. She's been living in Utah for the last 17 months. I'm not sure what her status would become once they marry on April 4th in SLC, Utah. Just that on her passport she's a J-1 status, and according to an immigration attorney we zoomed with, she cannot stay unless she gets a waiver, which would have to show a very strong and convincing hardship if she were to go back to Ecuador without her husband.

[bluebell]

So it's up to Ecuador if she can stay or not?

I'm sorry that you guys are having to deal with so much uncertainty.  That would be really hard!

[Rain]

I'm sorry as I know very little legal about legal immigration matters.  I hope you find a good solution. ❤

[manol]

@Tacenda, I don't know whether this or something like it might be of any use: 

Ask an Immigration Law Question, Get an Answer ASAP! (justanswer.com)

[Tacenda]

50 minutes ago, manol said:

@Tacenda, I don't know whether this or something like it might be of any use: 

Ask an Immigration Law Question, Get an Answer ASAP! (justanswer.com)

Thanks manol, that's what we need, quick answers. 😊

[GoCeltics]

18 hours ago, Tacenda said:

My husband and I met her family today online with google and we had a good conversation. She has two brothers and two niece and nephews. Her mother is Jehovah's Witness but not active, but a belief in God/Jesus. 

My friend's brother in Canada met a lady who worked at a resort during his vacation.  To make things
more official, he went there and they were married. After about a year of paper work, waiting, etc, she
was able to come permanently to Canada.  She continues to visit her family in Cuba a few times per
year.  
 

[rpn]

https://www.boundless.com/immigration-resources/types-of-us-work-visas/

why not the permanent resident option?  uscis.gov

Once you marry, your spouse can apply for permanent residence and remain in the United States while we process the application. If you choose this method, file a Form I-129F, Petition for Alien Fiancé(e). Filing instructions and forms are available on our Web site at www. uscis.

[bluebell]

4 minutes ago, rpn said:

https://www.boundless.com/immigration-resources/types-of-us-work-visas/

why not the permanent resident option?  uscis.gov

Once you marry, your spouse can apply for permanent residence and remain in the United States while we process the application. If you choose this method, file a Form I-129F, Petition for Alien Fiancé(e). Filing instructions and forms are available on our Web site at www. uscis.

It's my understanding that if someone has a J-1 visa that specifically requires them returning to their home country for two years, getting married to a citizen doesn't negate those terms.

[rpn]

Does it prevent someone from getting permanent residence status as a spouse? I don't think so, at least in every case.  But overstaying a visa for even a day results in a 3 year bar, so go home during the process.    Apparently waivers of the 2 year requirement are harder to get when your J1 program is paid for by government. 

 

https://www.lawfirm1.com/j-1-visa-to-marriage-based-green-card-rules-and-restrictions/ 

 

And what would be so bad about starting married life and a family in a foreign country, giving yor children dual citizenship? 

[Tacenda]

18 minutes ago, rpn said:

Does it prevent someone from getting permanent residence status as a spouse? I don't think so, at least in every case.  But overstaying a visa for even a day results in a 3 year bar, so go home during the process.    Apparently waivers of the 2 year requirement are harder to get when your J1 program is paid for by government. 

 

https://www.lawfirm1.com/j-1-visa-to-marriage-based-green-card-rules-and-restrictions/ 

 

And what would be so bad about starting married life and a family in a foreign country, giving yor children dual citizenship? 

Very helpful!!!

[Calm]

6 hours ago, GoCeltics said:

My friend's brother in Canada met a lady who worked at a resort during his vacation.  To make things
more official, he went there and they were married. After about a year of paper work, waiting, etc, she
was able to come permanently to Canada.  She continues to visit her family in Cuba a few times per
year.  
 

Canada has different rules though. (We lived in Canada for 13 years)

[Tacenda]

55 minutes ago, Calm said:

Canada has different rules though. (We lived in Canada for 13 years)

Yes, Ecuador is a whole different matter. Many are crossing the border illegally. And the country isn't doing well with a recent uprising. I also looked up the safety issues if you're a tourist. And it's not good. That's why I worry about my son. He's blond etc, and will stick out like a sore thumb. Or I truly do think it would be a cool experience. I also think if she were to go back for two years and be with her family again after already being away two years would be a good idea. And my son could visit her. Besides, don't couples stick it out when one of them go on a mission or even the military. But I don't dare voice this opinion around my son and soon to be DIL.

 

Edited March 25, 2024 by Tacenda

[Calm]

He can dye his hair at least.

[Tacenda]

4 hours ago, Calm said:

He can dye his hair at least.

That will be my first order of business!!

[GoCeltics]

On 3/25/2024 at 5:09 PM, Tacenda said:

That's why I worry about my son. He's blond etc, and will stick out like a sore thumb.

A wig is a good option.

[ZealouslyStriving]

1 hour ago, GoCeltics said:

A wig is a good option.

Hit the tanning booth a bunch before moving? 😉

[Rain]

On 3/25/2024 at 2:09 PM, Tacenda said:

Yes, Ecuador is a whole different matter. Many are crossing the border illegally. And the country isn't doing well with a recent uprising. I also looked up the safety issues if you're a tourist. And it's not good. That's why I worry about my son. He's blond etc, and will stick out like a sore thumb. Or I truly do think it would be a cool experience. I also think if she were to go back for two years and be with her family again after already being away two years would be a good idea. And my son could visit her. Besides, don't couples stick it out when one of them go on a mission or even the military. But I don't dare voice this opinion around my son and soon to be DIL.

 

Some couples stick it out, but many do not.  With missions I'm not sure that is a bad thing (even though my husband and I were together before our missions) as sometimes they are so young and being a little more mature afterward has them choosing someone better for them.  With the military, depending on the military person's experiences things can be rough for couples and it may break them up. My parents stayed together, but it wasn't easy. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but sometimes it just makes for a faster way to break up.  So it really just depends on the couple.