Cremation - No Trip to the Cemetery

[Tacenda]

1 hour ago, mfbukowski said:

There you go!  Throw me in a hole wearing my underware, under a tree, and let me become matter unorganized again.

I'm already disorganized anyway. 

But make sure the metal goes in the recycle bin!

Underware? Is that the metal kind? LOL! You crack me up sometimes I like this side of you. In all seriousness, it looks like it might be difficult to be cremated even. So in a dug out hole, I may be toxic. Not just on this thread, haha. 

Maybe Switzerland will have experience on where to bury ashes, they seem to be more environmentally friendly if not mistaken. 

(underwear)

[mfbukowski]

34 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

Underware? Is that the metal kind? LOL! You crack me up sometimes I like this side of you. In all seriousness, it looks like it might be difficult to be cremated even. So in a dug out hole, I may be toxic. Not just on this thread, haha. 

Maybe Switzerland will have experience on where to bury ashes, they seem to be more environmentally friendly if not mistaken. 

(underwear)

LOL! You got me!

It looked funny but I was in a hurry!

[Peacefully]

My husband and I are going to be cremated through the Neptune Society. We are paying monthly until it is paid off.  We will be dressed in our temple clothes and we will be cremated two days after we die so our family has time to view us, if they wish. We are not planning a church service. We have no active family members and we don’t want our funerals to turn into a sermon about families being sealed together for eternity and how the kids should strive for this. We do not want to leave our kids with guilt trips. We’ve asked our kids to just get together and celebrate our lives. The Neptune Society will scatter our ashes in the Gulf of Mexico. I’m all for cremation, leaving your body to science, or any other way a person wants to go out. I don’t think the spirit will be too concerned about such things. 

Edited November 17 by Peacefully

[Calm]

1 hour ago, Peacefully said:

My husband and I are going to be cremated through the Neptune Society. We are paying monthly until it is paid off.  We will be dressed in our temple clothes and we will be cremated two days after we die so our family has time to view us, if they wish. We are not planning a church service. We have no active family members and we don’t want our funerals to turn into a sermon about families being sealed together for eternity and how the kids should strive for this. We do not want to leave our kids with guilt trips. We’ve asked our kids to just get together and celebrate our lives. The Neptune Society will scatter our ashes in the Gulf of Mexico. I’m all for cremation, leaving your body to science, or any other way a person wants to go out. I don’t think the spirit will be too concerned about such things. 

I am glad you brought this up.  I just had a quick discussion with my nonbeliever daughter on this because of your post and she sees her attending a church funeral as simply being respectful of another’s faith, she doesn’t have trauma associated with the Church, etc., so for her, she doesn’t see attending as an issue as she wouldn’t feel guilty, but just assume it doesn’t apply to her.  She also recognizes that might change when it involves her parents, plus she doesn’t really know how she would be feeling when the time comes.  If it is unexpected and she feels very unprepared, she may be more sensitive about it than she would normally…or she just may not want to be social with people she doesn’t know or barely knows.  So I do need to sit down with my son and his wife and my husband and be sure they know I want no pressure placed on her to attend anything and if what she wants is a celebration of life and not a church funeral so she can feel more of a participant, that is the route I want to go since the believers can participate as much as they want in that version while she is an outsider at a church funeral.

And I don’t need anything at that point besides seeing my kids getting on with their lives and having fun.  I don’t see leaving a legacy as important, I see living a life of helping others have better lives as important and that is no different when I am living as when I die.

Edited November 17 by Calm

[Peacefully]

6 minutes ago, Calm said:

I am glad you brought this up.  I just had a quick discussion with my nonbeliever daughter on this because of your post and she sees her attending a church funeral as simply being respectful of another’s faith, she doesn’t have trauma associated with the Church, etc., so for her, she doesn’t see attending as an issue as she wouldn’t feel guilty, but just assume it doesn’t apply to her.  She also recognizes that might change when it involves her parents, plus she doesn’t really know how she would be feeling when the time comes.  If it is unexpected and she feels very unprepared, she may be more sensitive about it than she would normally…or she just may not want to be social with people she doesn’t know or barely knows.  So I do need to sit down with my son and his wife and my husband and be sure they know I want no pressure placed on her to attend anything and if what she wants is a celebration of life and not a church funeral so she can feel more of a participant, that is the route I want to go since that can participate as much as they want in that version while she is an outsider at a church funeral.

And I don’t need anything at that point besides seeing my kids getting on with their lives and having fun.  I don’t see leaving a legacy as important, I see living a life of helping others have better lives as important and that is no different when I am living as when I die.

Very well said:) When my second husband passed 14 yrs ago, the bishop felt it was his responsibility to use the occasion to speak about our beliefs and try to bring souls to Christ. I have no problem with that, the leaders of other churches do the same thing, however, since I will be dead, I don’t like the idea of not being able to control the message my children hear when they are in a very vulnerable place. The kids know what we believe, so I don’t feel the need to turn my funeral into one more church service. 

[Calm]

1 hour ago, Peacefully said:

Very well said:) When my second husband passed 14 yrs ago, the bishop felt it was his responsibility to use the occasion to speak about our beliefs and try to bring souls to Christ. I have no problem with that, the leaders of other churches do the same thing, however, since I will be dead, I don’t like the idea of not being able to control the message my children hear when they are in a very vulnerable place. The kids know what we believe, so I don’t feel the need to turn my funeral into one more church service. 

When the Church offers the building, funeral services and the services of the bishop for free and often food for family as well, I see the Church having the right to dictate much of the service.  If I want it my way and I can afford it, I need to pay for it.  If the family is too financially stressed at that time and don’t have much choice, then I do think church leaders should be compassionate in that case and be very respectful of the family’s wishes and try to work out something that all find acceptable, even if not perfectly what they would want.

And I agree, the kids certainly know our beliefs by then.  The teachings are for extended family and friends attending (which may be nice and all, but not top priority over the grieving of the nearest and dearest).  May be the only time they are a captive audience.    I had a friend of my husband’s attend the funeral of his mother and she was very interested and impressed by the presentation of our beliefs of family and the afterlife as well as the celebration of his mother that took place (it helped that the bishop was another of her sons, I am guessing).  We were very grateful she had this opportunity (she just happened to be in Utah meeting extended family—the Skousens, lol—for the first time and drove home with us back to Canada) as she had picked up Mormon Doctrine on her own and had found several parts of it quite distasteful (she was a converted Jew, her husband was Jewish, she also found some of the claims more cultural appropriation and assuming from her religious POV).  She was a good friend, later gave our son a hefty donation to his mission with a most thoughtful card (which I wished I had saved, because I am certain he didn’t and it is one of those things that should have been, dang), so she was not assuming what the book said was always official, but so glad she saw more than just us as being more inclusive and not so arrogant, even if confident in our beliefs.

Edited November 17 by Calm

[blackstrap]

I am considering a simple grave side service. Trouble is, there could be 50 mph winds or 3 feet of frost in the ground or sometimes both , so maybe cremation is best and then burial on a good day. 

[Calm]

17 minutes ago, blackstrap said:

I am considering a simple grave side service. Trouble is, there could be 50 mph winds or 3 feet of frost in the ground or sometimes both , so maybe cremation is best and then burial on a good day. 

How deep is the snow up there by now?  

[blackstrap]

Right now there is little snow where I am, but we have been having serious west winds for days. You remember that , right  ? Tonight's low temp in Calgary will be higher than today's high. Chinook winds rock !

[Calm]

34 minutes ago, blackstrap said:

Right now there is little snow where I am, but we have been having serious west winds for days. You remember that , right  ? Tonight's low temp in Calgary will be higher than today's high. Chinook winds rock !

I loved Chinooks, though they often didn’t love me.  Had the most interesting headaches in Calgary, though thankfully not too often.  Utah is quite mild in comparison, but Calgary is always number 1 in anything.  

Calgary had fun weather.  Never got too tired of it either (did get a bit tired of the dark afternoons; it is suddenly pitch dark at 6 now down here, so annoying).  According to Alexa, your sunset is 20 minutes earlier than ours….why did it seem earlier than that?

edited:  it is colder down here by a couple of degrees, lol

Edited November 17 by Calm

[Peacefully]

1 hour ago, Calm said:

When the Church offers the building, funeral services and the services of the bishop for free and often food for family as well, I see the Church having the right to dictate much of the service.  If I want it my way and I can afford it, I need to pay for it.  If the family is too financially stressed at that time and don’t have much choice, then I do think church leaders should be compassionate in that case and be very respectful of the family’s wishes and try to work out something that all find acceptable, even if not perfectly what they would want.

And I agree, the kids certainly know our beliefs by then.  The teachings are for extended family and friends attending (which may be nice and all, but not top priority over the grieving of the nearest and dearest).  May be the only time they are a captive audience.    I had a friend of my husband’s attend the funeral of his mother and she was very interested and impressed by the presentation of our beliefs of family and the afterlife as well as the celebration of his mother that took place (it helped that the bishop was another of her sons, I am guessing).  We were very grateful she had this opportunity (she just happened to be in Utah meeting extended family—the Skousens, lol—for the first time and drove home with us back to Canada) as she had picked up Mormon Doctrine on her own and had found several parts of it quite distasteful (she was a converted Jew, her husband was Jewish, she also found some of the claims more cultural appropriation and assuming from her religious POV).  She was a good friend, later gave our son a hefty donation to his mission with a most thoughtful card (which I wished I had saved, because I am certain he didn’t and it is one of those things that should have been, dang), so she was not assuming what the book said was always official, but so glad she saw more than just us as being more inclusive and not so arrogant, even if confident in our beliefs.

The service for my late husband was beautiful and I believe it is what he would have wanted. He was only sick for a short time before he passed, and for a couple of the weeks he was in a coma, so he didn’t give me any input. He had a large non-member family plus many friends from work came and I think it really gave them a positive view of our church. Not only did they see what a wonderful job everyone did that day, but his family also saw members bringing food and helping with other things. He was buried in a military cemetery in another city. That service was also very moving.
 

I’m just happy the church doesn’t counsel against cremation any more and that I’ve planned ahead so my family knows what I want when the time comes. But if wires get crossed and I end up with a church service, I think we will all survive, 😂. (in a manner of speaking, lol) 

[blackstrap]

8 minutes ago, Calm said:

why did it seem earlier than that?

Our mountains are to the West so the sun is blocked quicker... ???

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

On 11/16/2023 at 1:18 AM, Thinking said:

I recently attended a Celebration of Life. The deceased had been cremated so there was not a casket and the remains were not there either. There were pictures and other personal items that were displayed to help friends and family remember the good times. The service was very nice - a few speakers and musical numbers. Anyway, after the service, there was no procession to the cemetery, so the guests were invited to remain and mingle for about an hour. Most stayed and there were tears mixed with smiles and laughter as people remembered the deceased. It was all very positive and I left feeling uplifted.

I know that the Church discourages cremation, but it does not forbid it. Correct me if I am mistaken.

I would like to read your personal opinions about cremation.

The Church recently changed its policy on cremation. Although I cannot recall the Scripture, but for a few thousand years, it was believed that the “cremated”, were not able to rise in the “First Resurrection”, that had to wait until the “Final Resurrection, just prior to “The Judgement”. A doctrine that many Churches still teach to its followers today. In one year, I spoke at two funerals, where both were cremated. One of those funerals was for one of my big brothers, as he was cremated due to poverty. He had lived a life, along with his common-law wife, with addiction. The rest of the family gave her money for a funeral, which she did not use. Well, certainly not for it’s intended use. While speaking at these funerals, with only tiny boxes filled with ashes, and only pictures, was difficult, and very odd. Although, I had visited my brother a number of times in his final two weeks, I still felt the need for the closure which comes with seeing the body. 
 

In some countries, where cremation is required, by law or custom, the Church made it clear that exceptions can and must be made. However given almost all “Scriptural tradition”, be it the Hebrews, or the Christian Faith’s, well almost all monotheistic Faiths, all records reveal that persons are “laid to rest”, hoping for the resurrection. Even in Ezekiel’s vision, of the “Valley of the Dry Bones”, and the witness of those “dry bones”, being resurrected, is a great reinforcement of this doctrine. I know all things are possible through the Lord Jesus Christ, but as it began with the “First Resurrection”, in Matthew speaking to at least 300+ rose from the grave with Jesus Christ. The Scriptures speak so very often about the “graves bursting open, and his people rising to meet him in the skies”. I guess it comes down to closure for the living, and following the dictates of Scripture. These combined with seeing those we love, allows us to move on and more forward in our own lives. 
 

Hope this helps? 

[Calm]

7 hours ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

lthough I cannot recall the Scripture, but for a few thousand years, it was believed that the “cremated”, were not able to rise in the “First Resurrection”, that had to wait until the “Final Resurrection, just prior to “The Judgement”.

Maybe (I saw a nonMormon use it) 

Quote

Matthew 27:51-53 And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; 52 And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, 53 And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many

I never heard this justification in the Church though, only that God would resurrect our exact bodies from the elements that were in them when we died and burning them was somehow disrespectful of that or made it harder because it scattered them.

Edited November 19 by Calm

[carbon dioxide]

There is no way I am being cremated.  I think the best option is have my body sent to a taxidermy and be set in my home on the couch watching TV.  People can visit me whenever they want.

[mfbukowski]

2 hours ago, carbon dioxide said:

There is no way I am being cremated.  I think the best option is have my body sent to a taxidermy and be set in my home on the couch watching TV.  People can visit me whenever they want.

Don't laugh.

I know of someone who owns a "Cremation Services" business setting up cremations for folks.

He is a veterinarian.

Edited November 19 by mfbukowski

[cherryTreez]

I want to be cremated.  I have for as long as I can recall. My daughter wants to have my ashes made into a diamond. Or a few of them. I told her no white diamonds because I have never liked them. Color it purple or blue.   

I am pro cremation.  But when my daughter died, I couldn't have her cremated.  I don't know why. I made me sick to think about it. I do wish we had now because we moved 900 miles away. I hate not being able to go to her grave.