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It may be soon to bid farewell…


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I shall pray. Sending a call to good Ol' Docter Jesus.

Your mind might be fine, perhaps it is blood circulation to the brain. There are more medical solutions to heart problems than ever.

What little I know of end-of-life care, the most important thing to remember is to take the medications at the right times every day, and maybe vitamins. 

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15 hours ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

I have been in mental decline, sometimes quickly, other times more slowly slowly. I have a serious background in Electrical Theory, and mathematics, which I taught at a local College. Sometimes, two nights a week, more often four nights a week, for 25+ years. I have also taught seminars all over the State, at least four times a year. My wife always goes with, no matter the hours long drive, to the many  places, I have taught many, at Savannah, a 5-6 hours probably  50+ times . But we love Savannah, because we love the ocean. Also, because for two years it was our home, as I was I stationed there while I was  in the Army. It is like returning home, because our son was born there also. I love her, and love how much joy she shows when we arrive. I fear our or las time, last  Oct, will probably be the last. I will see my cardiologist, on April 6, I fear it won’t be great news, I am the only one of my family, who has not had open heart, My Bio-Father, my uncles, my brother, my sister, all but myself, and I have many (however you spell it starts with an “s”, maybe “stints”) be bad news, due to many issues, just walking around my yard. I don’t want pity, but prayers, absolutely. My point, was not to list my Résumé, it what to tell you why I list these things, the last 3-5, calculations I have been sent, it sometimes take hours, it does not look, well I just can’t do what was so clear a year ago. 

I am unable to get to Church as offing as I would like. Four week ago, I didn’t have glasses on, the night before, I tried to trim of hairs of the part of my face that that I shave (as I have a white, well gray goatee), I also I forgot my glasses. Then during Priesthood, I discovered, only by pulling hair on one side and now the other. Not only did I forget to shave, I also after 52+ years, I forgot how to tie a tie. My said, just don’t put on a tie. Once we got to Church, I saw someone, and I said, to someone getting out of his call, I said. ‘young man, can you tie my tie”. Then, my wife said, “you know him, why are calling him young man”. I apologize to him, but I had to ask my, “how who is he?”. Thankfully, that tie goes with me than suit, I keep it tied.. I have taken a  least two hours to write this entire message, reread after reread, trying my to embarrass myself. So either short repays,  or no nothing at all. My I pad broke for about 4-5 weeks recently, no one, my family, my friends, no one every knew I was absent. The think the art of life, is first you acquire what you need to live, and learn thee art of letting go. With this  please forgive my errors. 

Bill, I am sorry it is such a struggle.  Sending prayers your way.

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Bill, have you told your wife you hang out here and if so, would she be willing to give us updates about how you are doing even if you aren’t up to it?  I do think about you when you haven’t been posting and wonder how you are doing, especially the last little while.

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5 hours ago, InCognitus said:

@Bill “Papa” Lee

I read your message last night before bed and I had no words on what to say.  I woke up last night thinking about you and your situation.  I just want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thank you so much, I am trying to put on a happy face for my grandchildren, I have a a 9, with  one coming i in weeks.2 maybe 3 weeks. I loom large in the lives of my grandchildren. Every Sunday, they come with hugs, or questions, questions about History, mathematics, etc. many things I once could do so quickly. Now I just say, “Papa is just so tired”.  Every  Sunday Night, they stand in line. Each trying to be the first in life no matter the age. They know something is wrong, they can see it in my  wife’s, their Parents  faces, however it  especially the older grandbabies from 15-19, it still turns into a “hug. fest”,! I. am truly blessed, . and praise the Heavens for spellcheck. I tried for 2 1 2 hours trying to write something to tell my wife how much I love her. But my eyes, even wearing glasses, caused me to do many rewrites. Then, forgetting, what some keys are for, I hit the wrong button, or key, and erased it.  h. I accidentally deleted every thing I wanted to say. Trying to make-up for forgetting our 47th anniversary. It is my hope, that solving heart issues with heal my mind. My oldest has earned enough for a mission, but she is worried about me, having overheard from he parents. Got to stop now, this has taken about an hour. 
 

Again, be generous for whatever errors that I post. Also, thank you for you kind word,

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On 2/26/2023 at 7:01 PM, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

I have been in mental decline, sometimes quickly, other times more slowly slowly. I have a serious background in Electrical Theory, and mathematics, which I taught at a local College. Sometimes, two nights a week, more often four nights a week, for 25+ years. I have also taught seminars all over the State, at least four times a year. My wife always goes with, no matter the hours long drive, to the many  places, I have taught many, at Savannah, a 5-6 hours probably  50+ times . But we love Savannah, because we love the ocean. Also, because for two years it was our home, as I was I stationed there while I was  in the Army. It is like returning home, because our son was born there also. I love her, and love how much joy she shows when we arrive. I fear our or las time, last  Oct, will probably be the last. I will see my cardiologist, on April 6, I fear it won’t be great news, I am the only one of my family, who has not had open heart, My Bio-Father, my uncles, my brother, my sister, all but myself, and I have many (however you spell it starts with an “s”, maybe “stints”) be bad news, due to many issues, just walking around my yard. I don’t want pity, but prayers, absolutely. My point, was not to list my Résumé, it what to tell you why I list these things, the last 3-5, calculations I have been sent, it sometimes take hours, it does not look, well I just can’t do what was so clear a year ago. 

I am unable to get to Church as offing as I would like. Four week ago, I didn’t have glasses on, the night before, I tried to trim of hairs of the part of my face that that I shave (as I have a white, well gray goatee), I also I forgot my glasses. Then during Priesthood, I discovered, only by pulling hair on one side and now the other. Not only did I forget to shave, I also after 52+ years, I forgot how to tie a tie. My said, just don’t put on a tie. Once we got to Church, I saw someone, and I said, to someone getting out of his call, I said. ‘young man, can you tie my tie”. Then, my wife said, “you know him, why are calling him young man”. I apologize to him, but I had to ask my, “how who is he?”. Thankfully, that tie goes with me than suit, I keep it tied.. I have taken a  least two hours to write this entire message, reread after reread, trying my to embarrass myself. So either short repays,  or no nothing at all. My I pad broke for about 4-5 weeks recently, no one, my family, my friends, no one every knew I was absent. The think the art of life, is first you acquire what you need to live, and learn thee art of letting go. With this  please forgive my errors. 

This breaks my heart. 💔 I'm probably soon going to be there if not already but have high hopes that you are just having some bad days. And no matter what I hope for as long as you remember this website that you still post even if it doesn't makes sense because we will read the you behind the struggle to write your thoughts. There are many medical reasons besides Alz or ? for forgetfulness and I hope your doctor explores all avenues. And you have led such a remarkable life and you've got so much love in that family of yours too. But take one day at a time and continue basking in their love and ours. Hugs Papa!

Edited by Tacenda
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You are good.

Something a friend of mine sent me from C.S. Lewis before she left the earth:

Quote

What a state we have got into when we can’t say “I’ll be happy when God calls me” without being afraid one will be thought “morbid.” After all, St. Paul said just the same. If we really believe what we say we believe—if we really think that home is elsewhere and that this life is a “wandering to find home,” why should we not look forward to the arrival. There are, aren’t there, only three things we can do about death: to desire it, to fear it, or to ignore it. The third alternative, which is the one the modern world calls “healthy” is surely the most uneasy and precarious of all.

 

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20 hours ago, Tacenda said:

This breaks my heart. 💔 I'm probably soon going to be there if not already but have high hopes that you are just having some bad days. And no matter what I hope for as long as you remember this website that you still post even if it doesn't makes sense because we will read the you behind the struggle to write your thoughts. There are many medical reasons besides Alz or ? for forgetfulness and I hope your doctor explores all avenues. And you have led such a remarkable life and you've got so much love in that family of yours too. But take one day at a time and continue basking in their love and ours. Hugs Papa!

+1, and thank you. 

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On 2/27/2023 at 5:29 PM, Calm said:

Bill, have you told your wife you hang out here and if so, would she be willing to give us updates about how you are doing even if you aren’t up to it?  I do think about you when you haven’t been posting and wonder how you are doing, especially the last little while.

Don’t know what I did to have a point, to appear red. I can’t figure out how to fix it. There are so many things that don’t make sense as of late. Anyway, I meant to express gratitude. Oh how I hope whatever they do with my heart, will somehow help my problems effecting, or is it affecting my mind. It is exhausting trying to understand what is happening, and trying to express myself properly. Thank you for your caring. Was “caring” the right word? It seems as if another word should be used, but I can’t remember what it should be. Anyway, I am so very tired, God bless you.

 

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9 hours ago, Dario_M said:

Aawh how sad.😭 How old are you actually if i may be so free to ask? 

 

 

 

I believe Papa is a few years older than me, in his late sixties.  But I may be wrong.  I can’t remember where I got that idea from.

Assuming he was 23 when he got married, that would make him 70 this year.

Edited by Calm
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5 hours ago, Calm said:

I believe Papa is a few years older than me, in his late sixties.  But I may be wrong.  I can’t remember where I got that idea from.

Assuming he was 23 when he got married, that would make him 70 this year.

Aaawh that's quite young. For having all those health problems allready.

Poor guy. 

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You are describing the challenges that meet all of us as our bodies grow old.   If you can choose just to laugh at what you can't change, and take joy in each moment and what you CAN do, it makes life continuingly sweet.  My dad told me as he was dying (and he was a lot closer than it sounds like you might be) that he was quite surprised at how much his body fought to keep alive, even though he would have been okay with dying.   Having a whole lot of feelings isn't unusual or bad, it just is.   You are alright and you are going continue being alright no matter where you are in the journey.  Really you are.

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On 3/1/2023 at 8:36 PM, Calm said:

I believe Papa is a few years older than me, in his late sixties.  But I may be wrong.  I can’t remember where I got that idea from.

Assuming he was 23 when he got married, that would make him 70 this year.

No, only 66 years of age, and I married at 18 years of age, my wife had just turned 19. But she had a baby already, whom I adopted, as soon as I was able. Which is why I have many grandchildren. Adopting that tiny child, was without a doubt, one of the greatest things I ever did. She has always been one of my greatest joys, and having 3 more children after my wife and I got married, has not led to 9 grandbabies, with another coming is just two weeks. The Lord, has blessed me for the last 47+ years or our marriage, our children, and grandchildren. Regardless of what the future might hold, I am a truly blessed man, for which I thank Him. Therefore, I have much to rejoice about, I only hope to be able to express myself for many more years; God willing. Regardless of how long it to took to write the response, and some many rereads, and corrected errors. I just hope I found them all.  

 

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On 3/1/2023 at 10:34 AM, Dario_M said:

Aawh how sad.😭 How old are you actually if i may be so free to ask?

When he was in the US Army during the "Cold War", Papa Lee was stationed in the Fulda Gap in what was then called West Germany.  This is the gap that NATO expected the massive Warsaw Pact tank armies to roar through.  IF World War Three had happened, Papa Lee would have had a very short and very exciting life. 

On 3/3/2023 at 1:53 PM, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

No, only 66 years of age,

@Bill “Papa” Lee, thank you for your service way back when, and in so many other ways throughout your extremely service-oriented 66 years (and counting). 

I think there is something called "the ripple effect", like when a rock is tossed into a pond and the ripples spread out across the pond.  I have never met you and yet you have "ripple effected" me, and I'm sure you have had a strong positive effect on hundreds of people, who in turn have effected thousands of people, who in turn have effected tens of thousands... 

There have been times when I might have disagreed with some detail in something you said, but I AGREE with your spirit!! 

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On 3/4/2023 at 10:47 PM, manol said:

When he was in the US Army during the "Cold War", Papa Lee was stationed in the Fulda Gap in what was then called West Germany.  This is the gap that NATO expected the massive Warsaw Pact tank armies to roar through.  IF World War Three had happened, Papa Lee would have had a very short and very exciting life. 

!

That whas not what i asked, but okay. 

Btw Calm had allready givin me the answer he is in his old sixties and this year he will be 70. 

So sorry about his health though god bless his poor soul.✝️

Edited by Dario_M
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5 hours ago, Dario_M said:

That whas not what i asked, but okay. 

Btw Calm had allready givin me the answer he is in his old sixties and this year he will be 70. 

So sorry about his health tough god bless his poor soul.✝️

I was off by a few years, I was guessing based on how many years he had been married and him perhaps marrying at age 23, but he married at 18.

You apparently missed Bill’s post where he said he is 66.  It’s right above manol’s.  :) 

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4 hours ago, Calm said:

I was off by a few years, I was guessing based on how many years he had been married and him perhaps marrying at age 23, but he married at 18.

You apparently missed Bill’s post where he said he is 66.  It’s right above manol’s.  :) 

Thank you for the information dear Calm. So thoughtfull of you. ❤🧡💛🧡🧡💛🧡🧡💛

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 2/27/2023 at 2:01 AM, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

I have been in mental decline, sometimes quickly, other times more slowly slowly. I have a serious background in Electrical Theory, and mathematics, which I taught at a local College. Sometimes, two nights a week, more often four nights a week, for 25+ years. I have also taught seminars all over the State, at least four times a year. My wife always goes with, no matter the hours long drive, to the many  places, I have taught many, at Savannah, a 5-6 hours probably  50+ times . But we love Savannah, because we love the ocean. Also, because for two years it was our home, as I was I stationed there while I was  in the Army. It is like returning home, because our son was born there also. I love her, and love how much joy she shows when we arrive. I fear our or las time, last  Oct, will probably be the last. I will see my cardiologist, on April 6, I fear it won’t be great news, I am the only one of my family, who has not had open heart, My Bio-Father, my uncles, my brother, my sister, all but myself, and I have many (however you spell it starts with an “s”, maybe “stints”) be bad news, due to many issues, just walking around my yard. I don’t want pity, but prayers, absolutely. My point, was not to list my Résumé, it what to tell you why I list these things, the last 3-5, calculations I have been sent, it sometimes take hours, it does not look, well I just can’t do what was so clear a year ago. 

I am unable to get to Church as offing as I would like. Four week ago, I didn’t have glasses on, the night before, I tried to trim of hairs of the part of my face that that I shave (as I have a white, well gray goatee), I also I forgot my glasses. Then during Priesthood, I discovered, only by pulling hair on one side and now the other. Not only did I forget to shave, I also after 52+ years, I forgot how to tie a tie. My said, just don’t put on a tie. Once we got to Church, I saw someone, and I said, to someone getting out of his call, I said. ‘young man, can you tie my tie”. Then, my wife said, “you know him, why are calling him young man”. I apologize to him, but I had to ask my, “how who is he?”. Thankfully, that tie goes with me than suit, I keep it tied.. I have taken a  least two hours to write this entire message, reread after reread, trying my to embarrass myself. So either short repays,  or no nothing at all. My I pad broke for about 4-5 weeks recently, no one, my family, my friends, no one every knew I was absent. The think the art of life, is first you acquire what you need to live, and learn thee art of letting go. With this  please forgive my errors. 

God bless you. 

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