Murder-Suicide of Family in Enoch, Utah

[The Nehor]

10 minutes ago, Meadowchik said:

Tell that to women contemplating divorce.

I shouldn't have to spell out that murder is abuse. 

The way a community responds to such abuse does matter.

Not all women contemplating divorce are abused nor does a statement about this guy not being a total monster put them in danger. Are a lot of divorced husbands going to take heart from this statement and mimic this? No.

Murder is abuse but this kind of murder is not the kind of thing you can reasonably plan for or avoid.

This isn’t the community responding. This is the family of the deceased responding.

[The Nehor]

12 minutes ago, Meadowchik said:

It's not shaming that I am concerned with. It's respect for the victims and concern that preventable deaths happened.

I do hope that as these families will be just as vocal about supporting women and children in crisis.

Was this preventable? Were signs of this coming present?

I don’t know. Do you?

I don’t know if they will be supportive but expecting grieving families to be concerned about optics and the larger problem of abused spouses and children in the immediate aftermath of a tragedy is quite an ask.

[Meadowchik]

54 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

Was this preventable? Were signs of this coming present?

I don’t know. Do you?

I don’t know if they will be supportive but expecting grieving families to be concerned about optics and the larger problem of abused spouses and children in the immediate aftermath of a tragedy is quite an ask.

Not optics, per sé, but respect for the victims. 

 

[MustardSeed]

Honestly I can see both sides of this.  I feel sad for his family.  I feel sad for her family.  It wouldn’t upset me to see an obit for him- but I think I would want some acknowledgment in the obit regarding the tragedy of loss for the wife and kids. 

[BlueDreams]

1 hour ago, Meadowchik said:

It's not shaming that I am concerned with. It's respect for the victims and concern that preventable deaths happened.

From what I'm seeing online quickly it was a bit of both. Not just for the family of the father  and the obit but for the family of the mother/grandmother because they placed statements out asking that this not be "politicized." It's very easy to slip into shame when there's a problem on display. And throwing shade before the bodies are even buried at the extended families who're experience a major trauma basically no one is qualified to manage well to me counts as shame. 

1 hour ago, Meadowchik said:

I do hope that as these families will be just as vocal about supporting women and children in crisis.

I assume some at some point likely will. And that other who already are, have been there to offer support (as I was reading in one article). Right now, I imagine they're just figuring out how to manage a large part of their family and community dying horrifically overnight. Very few can become advocates overnight from that. I don't know where I'd even start and I'm glad that I don't have to. 

 

With luv, 

BD 

[Tacenda]

15 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

Honestly I can see both sides of this.  I feel sad for his family.  I feel sad for her family.  It wouldn’t upset me to see an obit for him- but I think I would want some acknowledgment in the obit regarding the tragedy of loss for the wife and kids. 

Just saw this, still need to read it so it may do or not do what you are hoping and I agree it should mention acknowledgement regarding the tragedy of it all. https://www.thespectrum.com/obituaries/sgs027100?fbclid=IwAR3B2OGkoo7EHvGfjnUWLI6zp4hLdDbxNyBXOQbUkX9JsvxV5sB81R3em4A

[Peacefully]

Obit for mom and kids. I need to give my grandkids a hug now 😢 

https://www.serenitystg.com/m/obituaries/Tausha-Haight/Memories

[Peacefully]

A snippet from The Salt Lake Tribune. I believe this is the mom’s brother: 

Brett Earl added that he wants the loss to also encourage anyone who is experiencing distress to seek help.

Tausha’s husband and the children’s father, Michael Haight, was not buried with the family or mentioned at the funeral. After the services, though, Earl told reporters that he is sorry for the “profound loss” of Haight’s parents and wished them peace.

“This is a story of two families hurt and broken,” he said.

[Calm]

This is going to sound like a weird comment, but my family are Lego fans, I buy each a set for birthdays and Christmas and we have had this tradition for 40 years and there are many sets I wish to buy for them, but don’t; so when I read this about one of the boys, it struck me this was a very loved child. 
 

Quote

Ammon Michael, age 7
Born June 21, 2015. He was a very thoughtful and logical boy. He loved to build Legos and had just finished constructing the Titanic Lego kit. 

The Titanic set is worth more than $650 and it is for 18+ in complexity, my guess is someone who loved his company and smile built the set side by side with him.  I am glad they had the triumph of finishing it. 

[Raingirl]

10 hours ago, Peacefully said:

Obit for mom and kids. I need to give my grandkids a hug now 😢 

https://www.serenitystg.com/m/obituaries/Tausha-Haight/Memories

I am struck by the phrase that they all traveled together to the other side of the veil. That got me seriously choked up. 

[JAHS]

Getting some kick-back about the photo used in the go fund me campaign where the  father is replaced by Jesus

I just thought they mean that the family is now in the care of Jesus instead of their father.

 

[MorningStar]

On 1/5/2023 at 8:22 PM, JAHS said:

I know this sounds heartless, but if such people are determined to commit suicide anyway, why can't they just kill themselves first instead of the rest of this beautiful family? 🤨

?

I think the mentality is, “If I can’t have you, no one can!” 😡

[Meadowchik]

It has been reported that he was highly controlling and violent in the home.

[Calm]

51 minutes ago, Meadowchik said:

It has been reported that he was highly controlling and violent in the home.

By whom?

[Meadowchik]

3 hours ago, Calm said:

By whom?

The UK Daily Mail quoted a friend of the family.    

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11639109/Warped-obituary-Utah-man-murdered-wife-five-kids-says-great-dad.html

"'My brother and sis-in-law were good friends with them for years. My brother said he was controlling, manipulative, and mentally abusive for years but no one knew how bad until recently. 

 

'He would demand she have dinner on the table ready when he got home. No one ate until he took the first bite. 

 

'If she was preparing dinner and he would call and say he wanted something else, she had to start over. 

 

'Once he was late coming home so she let the kids start eating. When he got home and saw them eating without him- he threw all the food on the floor and made her start dinner all over again.'

 

The post, which was reshared by several people close to the family, insisted that Haight 'controlled' his wife's friendships, and that days before her murder, Tausha missed an appointment with a women's crisis center. 

 

'She was in the process of finally working to get herself and the kids away from him when he did this,' the account further asserted."

 

 

 

 

 

 

[mrmarklin]

2 hours ago, Meadowchik said:

The UK Daily Mail quoted a friend of the family.    

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11639109/Warped-obituary-Utah-man-murdered-wife-five-kids-says-great-dad.html

"'My brother and sis-in-law were good friends with them for years. My brother said he was controlling, manipulative, and mentally abusive for years but no one knew how bad until recently. 

 

'He would demand she have dinner on the table ready when he got home. No one ate until he took the first bite. 

 

'If she was preparing dinner and he would call and say he wanted something else, she had to start over. 

 

'Once he was late coming home so she let the kids start eating. When he got home and saw them eating without him- he threw all the food on the floor and made her start dinner all over again.'

 

The post, which was reshared by several people close to the family, insisted that Haight 'controlled' his wife's friendships, and that days before her murder, Tausha missed an appointment with a women's crisis center. 

 

'She was in the process of finally working to get herself and the kids away from him when he did this,' the account further asserted."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Very believable. 

[BlueDreams]

4 hours ago, Meadowchik said:

The UK Daily Mail quoted a friend of the family.    

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11639109/Warped-obituary-Utah-man-murdered-wife-five-kids-says-great-dad.html

"'My brother and sis-in-law were good friends with them for years. My brother said he was controlling, manipulative, and mentally abusive for years but no one knew how bad until recently. 

 

'He would demand she have dinner on the table ready when he got home. No one ate until he took the first bite. 

 

'If she was preparing dinner and he would call and say he wanted something else, she had to start over. 

 

'Once he was late coming home so she let the kids start eating. When he got home and saw them eating without him- he threw all the food on the floor and made her start dinner all over again.'

 

The post, which was reshared by several people close to the family, insisted that Haight 'controlled' his wife's friendships, and that days before her murder, Tausha missed an appointment with a women's crisis center. 

 

'She was in the process of finally working to get herself and the kids away from him when he did this,' the account further asserted."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not sure why this isn't quoted (probably cuz there was an add in between) but I think it's really important: 

"He was a two- faced abusive monster,' the post circulating on social media from a friend of the family reads."

Two-faced, jeckle/hyde, etc is what I was expecting to hear at some point in cases where there's a large amount of the community that's "shocked" by a murder-suicide.

Emotional/psychological abuse is sometimes the hardest to spot or recognize as such, including from the partner being abused. Well that, and often sexual abuse. There's no obvious wounds to back it up and there's a plethora of reasons to dismiss it. I'm working with a client who's working to come to terms that their partner is psychologically/emotionally abusive and what they need to do about that. Like many of my cases like this they've gone to a few other therapists where I was the first one to really call this out as a form of abuse (there was only one other person to mention something once...and it was during a group psychoeducation session of some sort). Like many of my clients the behaviors are usually peeled back and slowly shared and often dismissed/minimized by the abused person until I contrast this to a healthy relationship. Like most of my cases, only a few people outside the household are truly aware of the depth of the problems with the partner. They may see small hints of something off, but not enough to piece it together. Certainly not enough for most to feel comfortable to comment on.

 

  The client mentioned after this event, that they can understand how a person like this man could do something like this. It isn't shocking to them because some part of them sees similar traits in their partner (I should note, I don't have a client in serious active risk). And if this or many of the other abusive partners I've heard of or had in my office did the same, the community and family responses would also be similar: shock. Deep and complete shock. 

 

With luv, 

BD 

Edited January 17, 2023 by BlueDreams

[Tacenda]

On 1/15/2023 at 2:51 PM, Meadowchik said:

Not optics, per sé, but respect for the victims. 

 

And don't say the guy was a family man in the obit. 

[Meadowchik]

2 hours ago, mrmarklin said:

Very believable. 

Considering he did murder his entire family, it would be surprising if we didn't eventually hear of abuse preceding it.

[bluebell]

1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

And don't say the guy was a family man in the obit. 

Agreed.  That obit was pretty messed up.  It sounds like whoever wrote it is in complete denial and I wouldn't be surprised if they are harboring the idea that he didn't kill anyone and that someone else did it.

[Calm]

11 hours ago, Meadowchik said:

The UK Daily Mail quoted a friend of the family.    

No, the Daily Mail quoted a relative of a friend of the family just to be accurate (unless the one being quoted also knew them well enough to be a friend), but the Mail is not that precise in many cases.  The post might have been shared among many close to the family because they saw it as a way to explain what happened rather than they also had personal knowledge to back it up, so not sure why that is considered significant, but it makes the Mail sound knowledgeable, I guess.  The Mail should have confirmed it with the brother and sister in law who are claimed as a source, but hardly surprising it doesn’t.  Hopefully they at least confirmed that their source was a member of the community or did have a brother that was and wasn’t just a random person.
 

I don’t consider that great evidence myself, but wouldn’t be surprised in the least if it was so as that is not uncommon as I understand in family annihilators.   I am not defending the man, just rating the quality of the comment.  I was assuming he did as much as soon as I heard what he had done.

Edited January 18, 2023 by Calm

[JAHS]

Police report outlines father's violent, controlling behavior 2 years before Enoch murders

Edited January 18, 2023 by JAHS

[Kenngo1969]

https://www.deseret.com/utah/2023/1/17/23559807/enoch-utah-murders-police-report-domestic-violence-michael-tausha-earl-haight-family

I don't know if this is a duplicate of what you just posted, but at the risk of being redundant ...

[Peacefully]

https://www.deseret.com/utah/2023/1/17/23559460/michael-haight-obituary-taken-down-newspaper-website-utah-family-murdered

[The Nehor]

16 hours ago, Meadowchik said:

The UK Daily Mail quoted a friend of the family.    

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11639109/Warped-obituary-Utah-man-murdered-wife-five-kids-says-great-dad.html

"'My brother and sis-in-law were good friends with them for years. My brother said he was controlling, manipulative, and mentally abusive for years but no one knew how bad until recently. 

 

'He would demand she have dinner on the table ready when he got home. No one ate until he took the first bite. 

 

'If she was preparing dinner and he would call and say he wanted something else, she had to start over. 

 

'Once he was late coming home so she let the kids start eating. When he got home and saw them eating without him- he threw all the food on the floor and made her start dinner all over again.'

 

The post, which was reshared by several people close to the family, insisted that Haight 'controlled' his wife's friendships, and that days before her murder, Tausha missed an appointment with a women's crisis center. 

 

'She was in the process of finally working to get herself and the kids away from him when he did this,' the account further asserted."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Might be true but then this is The Daily Mail.