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A time to say goodbye, at least for a while.


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Something is happening to me, it could be due to stress about my impending brother’s death. It could be my own demising health, coupled with my serious forgetting so very much. The need to read or reread every post dozens of times, and still having threads so woeful, few if any ever respond. This post I will read 20 times, and then have my wife read it. I am struggling with the fact, that I often leave my room, sometimes 4 to 5, 6 times, forgetting each time why. Maybe it is stress, who knows? Maybe on occasion stick to a one line replies, made 2-3 months at a time lately. Despite, my 15 years here, (February 7, 2007), was I tolerated or carried by all of you wonderful people, I think it is time to go, or just stay signed in (as I do) and only read.

Thank you, and God bless you all or as we say here in the Sunny South…”Ya’ll”.  I love you, and will miss you. Or until (I fear) I will no longer know you. Keep up your excellent work, in supporting members, and loving those who left our ranks. 
 

I will see you on the other side. 
 

Your Brother, “Bill “Papa” Lee 

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3 hours ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

Something is happening to me, it could be due to stress about my impending brother’s death. It could be my own demising health, coupled with my serious forgetting so very much. The need to read or reread every post dozens of times, and still having threads so woeful, few if any ever respond. This post I will read 20 times, and then have my wife read it. I am struggling with the fact, that I often leave my room, sometimes 4 to 5, 6 times, forgetting each time why. Maybe it is stress, who knows? Maybe on occasion stick to a one line replies, made 2-3 months at a time lately. Despite, my 15 years here, (February 7, 2007), was I tolerated or carried by all of you wonderful people, I think it is time to go, or just stay signed in (as I do) and only read.

Thank you, and God bless you all or as we say here in the Sunny South…”Ya’ll”.  I love you, and will miss you. Or until (I fear) I will no longer know you. Keep up your excellent work, in supporting members, and loving those who left our ranks. 
 

I will see you on the other side. 
 

Your Brother, “Bill “Papa” Lee 

We are somewhat similar with our worrying over losing our memory and so much more. I'm scheduled to get an MRI to see if there's anything going on. My heart goes out to you. I know both our mothers had the disease. My mom had early dementia...lately I haven't been able to sleep with worrying over what to do. Hopefully for you it will get better and maybe we are both just going through what looks like it but isn't. Prayers Papa!! 💞

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18 hours ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

Something is happening to me, it could be due to stress about my impending brother’s death. It could be my own demising health, coupled with my serious forgetting so very much. The need to read or reread every post dozens of times, and still having threads so woeful, few if any ever respond. This post I will read 20 times, and then have my wife read it. I am struggling with the fact, that I often leave my room, sometimes 4 to 5, 6 times, forgetting each time why. Maybe it is stress, who knows? Maybe on occasion stick to a one line replies, made 2-3 months at a time lately. Despite, my 15 years here, (February 7, 2007), was I tolerated or carried by all of you wonderful people, I think it is time to go, or just stay signed in (as I do) and only read.

Thank you, and God bless you all or as we say here in the Sunny South…”Ya’ll”.  I love you, and will miss you. Or until (I fear) I will no longer know you. Keep up your excellent work, in supporting members, and loving those who left our ranks. 
 

I will see you on the other side. 
 

Your Brother, “Bill “Papa” Lee 

I am sorry you are experiencing the memory issues.  I have a mild form of that these days, and it is frustrating, but worse it is humiliating for me.  There is a definite sense of loss.  I assume most people feel the same though it did improve unexpectedly quite a bit along with the dizziness (apparently Meniere’s is often worse early on and then fades away over the next 5 to 10 years, but I was so down about it from reading comments of those with more severe cases, I was avoiding reading anything about it, so the fading was a surprise) and I feel blessed so much that it did…so who knows, maybe yours will improve as well.

 I would love to hear from you just a few lines, even if you just need to rant some because I know the board helped me get through some disparate times when I have felt so limited, a piece of the world I can always access.  If I can help you feel connected if you need that, let me try.  :)  I see you as a good man and a good friend and you have certainly added to the board all along, I loved hearing about your family and stories and your poetry added something special.  I would love to help in the only way I can.  ❤️. You can always PM me if you prefer.

Edited by Calm
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2 hours ago, Tacenda said:

We are somewhat similar with our worrying over losing our memory and so much more. I'm scheduled to get an MRI to see if there's anything going on. My heart goes out to you. I know both our mothers had the disease. My mom had early dementia...lately I haven't been able to sleep with worrying over what to do. Hopefully for you it will get better and maybe we are both just going through what looks like it but isn't. Prayers Papa!! 💞

I am going for a MRI on my back on Tuesday…here’s hoping there is good news for both of us.

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I hope get to read/hear something from you either here or in the eternities.   Godspeed.   And you are correct that when you have limited ________, focusing it on those you know and love in real life is the best use of those capacities.    Lots of love.

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8 hours ago, Tacenda said:

If I don't chicken out! Hope you find answers that will enable you to get relief for your back Calm. 

Can you get an open machine?  Thankfully they have one available down here as I am slightly claustrophobic (probably due to the rls, the idea of not being able to move when it hits kind of freaks me out).  Last time I had one (almost 20 years ago for migraines) it was hard and my anxiety certainly hasn’t gotten better.  My husband says the open ones are tons better. 

Edited by Calm
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On 11/3/2022 at 12:50 PM, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

Something is happening to me, it could be due to stress about my impending brother’s death. It could be my own demising health, coupled with my serious forgetting so very much. The need to read or reread every post dozens of times, and still having threads so woeful, few if any ever respond. This post I will read 20 times, and then have my wife read it. I am struggling with the fact, that I often leave my room, sometimes 4 to 5, 6 times, forgetting each time why. Maybe it is stress, who knows? Maybe on occasion stick to a one line replies, made 2-3 months at a time lately. Despite, my 15 years here, (February 7, 2007), was I tolerated or carried by all of you wonderful people, I think it is time to go, or just stay signed in (as I do) and only read.

Thank you, and God bless you all or as we say here in the Sunny South…”Ya’ll”.  I love you, and will miss you. Or until (I fear) I will no longer know you. Keep up your excellent work, in supporting members, and loving those who left our ranks. 
 

I will see you on the other side. 
 

Your Brother, “Bill “Papa” Lee 

Hey Papa.

My Catholic prayers for you. Hail Mary and all that. I am losing it too. I am MRI boy, and the "Can't remember anybody's name any more boy too". Clumsy, and forgetting why I went downstairs or came upstairs? I relate Papa. Should we wish we died first? No! No. That IS one way to never experience mental or physical deficiency. But our loved ones and God doesn't mind that we have bad memories and bad backs. They love us all the same. If we can recognize that God and our loved ones behold us as tenderly as ever even as we grow more feeble, we should be happy to know that our acceptance of ourselves in this way makes them happy. Let us think of them before ourselves. God bless you Bill.

Edited by 3DOP
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I was holding a small bowl of maple syrup in my hand after taking it out of the microwave yesterday and I had to stop and reason out what I was doing with it, lol. There is only one thing I microwave syrup for and that is waffles!  Which were sitting on the table waiting for me as I had just whipped up a triple batch as comfort food to have around as my husband just had gotten home and was starving after a surgery that took 3 times as long as expected (but they got all the precancer stuff off of the top of his head, so that was worth it).  My mind had wandered off on the track of something else for a second as I walked to the microwave, but that was enough to bump the engine off of the waffle track.  I apparently have only enough mental coal for one engine to  be operating on my mental railroads these days. 

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19 minutes ago, Calm said:

I was holding a small bowl of maple syrup in my hand after taking it out of the microwave yesterday and I had to stop and reason out what I was doing with it, lol. There is only one thing I microwave syrup for and that is waffles!  Which were sitting on the table waiting for me as I had just whipped up a triple batch as comfort food to have around as my husband just had gotten home and was starving after a surgery that took 3 times as long as expected (but they got all the precancer stuff off of the top of his head, so that was worth it).  My mind had wandered off on the track of something else for a second as I walked to the microwave, but that was enough to bump the engine off of the waffle track.  I apparently have only enough mental coal for one engine to  be operating on my mental railroads these days. 

It's the thought that counts right? And that is a brilliant idea of heating the maple syrup, that sounds very yummy! Glad they got the pre-cancer stuff taken off for your husband!

This reminds me of the little engine that could, you got this!

 

Edited by Tacenda
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We get pure maple syrup and refrigerate it, so cold syrup just destroys the warm comfy feeling of fresh cooked waffles. 

My mom would have a saucepan of melted butter and would swirl the syrup in it and then pour that over the pancakes (she was a pancake maker, while I follow my grandma’s tradition of waffles…which were the highlight of our vacations with her and why I became a waffle perfectionist).

Edited by Calm
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9 hours ago, Calm said:

We get pure maple syrup and refrigerate it, so cold syrup just destroys the warm comfy feeling of fresh cooked waffles. 

My mom would have a saucepan of melted butter and would swirl the syrup in it and then pour that over the pancakes (she was a pancake maker, while I follow my grandma’s tradition of waffles…which were the highlight of our vacations with her and why I became a waffle perfectionist).

Calm, hi.

My mom always heated our syrup on the stove. I was surprised as a youngster when I learned that there are people out there who scandalously abuse their breakfasts with cold syrup!

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1 hour ago, 3DOP said:

Calm, hi.

My mom always heated our syrup on the stove. I was surprised as a youngster when I learned that there are people out there who scandalously abuse their breakfasts with cold syrup!

And lucky Calm's family and most likely you and your family growing up that you got pure maple syrup that needed refrigeration therefore the need to heat it up!

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Papa don't say goodbye, say "until we meet again."

Prayers for you and your family. 

I could use some prayer too please.

I fell and broke my pelvis in 3 places. I really need to get well quick. I had just started a new job. I had 2 weeks in when I hurt myself doing laundry on Friday night. I should have been carrying a flashlight but I wasn't. I was trucking along pretty good thinking about my new job when I went splat. I really have to concentrate on the here and now, instead of gazing into the future. 

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26 minutes ago, rodheadlee said:

Papa don't say goodbye, say "until we meet again."

Prayers for you and your family. 

I could use some prayer too please.

I fell and broke my pelvis in 3 places. I really need to get well quick. I had just started a new job. I had 2 weeks in when I hurt myself doing laundry on Friday night. I should have been carrying a flashlight but I wasn't. I was trucking along pretty good thinking about my new job when I went splat. I really have to concentrate on the here and now, instead of gazing into the future. 

I love, "till we meet again". I'm so sorry you were injured right when you started the new job, is injury on top of injury. 😟 But hoping this is a "when one door closes another one opens" situation.

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On 11/5/2022 at 2:39 PM, rodheadlee said:

Papa don't say goodbye, say "until we meet again."

Prayers for you and your family. 

I could use some prayer too please.

I fell and broke my pelvis in 3 places. I really need to get well quick. I had just started a new job. I had 2 weeks in when I hurt myself doing laundry on Friday night. I should have been carrying a flashlight but I wasn't. I was trucking along pretty good thinking about my new job when I went splat. I really have to concentrate on the here and now, instead of gazing into the future. 

Good advice, on looking thinking of the “here and now”, and worrying to much about the future. But short comments allow for fewer errors, with those who can see how bad I am slipping, so very often. I truly am realizing how little I would, or will be missed. I know I am loved by a number of members here, but compared with all of the true Scholars we have here, I pale in comparison, and rightly so. There are many in the past, and even now who see me as an embarrassment in the “apologetic arena” of Mormonism, or Latter-day Saint apologetics. I do try, but the more I do, the more my copious weaknesses are laid bare. What is worse, when I seek my wife’s assistance, to help limit my errors, the more she sees the way others disagree, my many ideas. My guess is they are trying to either make my comments better, but more often some are (in her eyes’ not kind, to a man that she loves more than life. itself. I always try to defend every comment about me, telling her that it is just “Apologetics and nothing more”. However often, she would not buy my arrangements, or explanations. Either way, thank you for your kind comments. May the Lord bless you, and speed your healing. Be of good cheer, but don’t be like myself. Again, God bless you in all your endeavors, and I will pray for your every success for r your future.  

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Papa, I seldom go into the kitchen without wondering why I did.  I stand in the middle of the room and know I came in for something important!  🤪

God bless you in willingness to endure.  I am not going to say goodbye....You will always be here in your kindness, empathy and so much love. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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20 hours ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

Good advice, on looking thinking of the “here and now”, and worrying to much about the future. But short comments allow for fewer errors, with those who can see how bad I am slipping, so very often. I truly am realizing how little I would, or will be missed. I know I am loved by a number of members here, but compared with all of the true Scholars we have here, I pale in comparison, and rightly so. There are many in the past, and even now who see me as an embarrassment in the “apologetic arena” of Mormonism, or Latter-day Saint apologetics. I do try, but the more I do, the more my copious weaknesses are laid bare. What is worse, when I seek my wife’s assistance, to help limit my errors, the more she sees the way others disagree, my many ideas. My guess is they are trying to either make my comments better, but more often some are (in her eyes’ not kind, to a man that she loves more than life. itself. I always try to defend every comment about me, telling her that it is just “Apologetics and nothing more”. However often, she would not buy my arrangements, or explanations. Either way, thank you for your kind comments. May the Lord bless you, and speed your healing. Be of good cheer, but don’t be like myself. Again, God bless you in all your endeavors, and I will pray for your every success for r your future.  

I know what you mean Papa. It's rare if I get my thoughts down on paper correctly. Thanks for your kind thoughts.

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