General Conference Predictions and Updates

[MiserereNobis]

Ummmm, what happened to the bi-annual threads about general conference? Here I am perusing the board after some time away and I realize that it's general conference weekend and not a single thread? Apostasy!

Here are my predictions based on reading the past 10 years of these threads:

• temples will be announced and someone will cheer and applaud and then realize that he's the only one doing it
• someone will shout no at some sort of sustaining
• there will be a policy change
• the Tabernacle Choir will sing a song not in the official hymn book (or, the horror, change the key or time signature)
• someone will mention C.S. Lewis, J.R.R Tolkien, T.S. Eliot, or another Christian with initials who was a great author
• some progressive speaker will sport a razor-thin barely noticeable mustache
• there will be no revelation on women and the priesthood or same-sex marriage
• there will be revelation on how Sunday meetings are conducted
• a shot of the crowd will show some guy wearing a blue shirt with a clashing purple tie
• the Grateful Dead will be mentioned, but only in terms of baptism and not that 43 minute long "Playing in the Band" jam from Seattle '73
• there will be a shout out to Catholic Charities
• there will also be a shout out to the great apostasy
• a woman will pray at some point, much to the disgust of DezNat
• the phrase "even the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" will be said not once, not twice, but three times
• a fun time will be had by all, even John Dehlin, who will be furiously taking notes for the basis of questions on his next 6 hour podcast

[The Nehor]

I predict:

• reestablishment of Council of 50.
• Concubinage restored.
• Apostolic curse on Russian nuclear arsenal that the two dozen warheads that still work will not detonate just like the rest.
• Nazi-punching get the apostolic seal of approval.
• Tweak to official funeral potato recipe.
• Encouragement for all saints able to get the monkeypox vaccination for its potential assistance against a smallpox attack.
• Tithing redefined to be a tenth of your surplus or a 20th of your income, whichever is higher.
• Church takes a stance on a proposed bill in London that provides for reduced bus fares for war widows. They are opposed.
• Recommendation that Ward Council meetings be virtual if possible.
• Saints enjoined to pray for the reformation of Pangea.
• Saints are warned that Cthulhu will awaken soon and the Priesthood ordinance of the Elder Sign is laid out for protection.
• The sharknado incident with a shark in Florida’s streets is a sign that the Second Coming will be within the next 600 years.
• In the future apostolic succession will be determined by a tournament bracket of 3 out of 5 paper-rock-scissors challenges when choosing the next prophet.
• Church will restore the terms of disfellowshipment and excommunication because they sound cooler.

[MustardSeed]

Did you see the guy in the choir with the caterpillar on his upper lip? I approve

[Judd]

Temples:

1. Jakarta, Indonesia.
2. Ulaanbaataar, Mongolia. 
3. Kingston, Jamaica. 
4. Dublin, Ireland. 
5. Glasgow/Edinburgh, Scotland.

[The Nehor]

1 minute ago, MustardSeed said:

Did you see the guy in the choir with the caterpillar on his upper lip? I approve

Mustaches are an abomination. Mostly because I can’t grow a good one.

[smac97]

7 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

Did you see the guy in the choir with the caterpillar on his upper lip? I approve

I went to law school with him.  Tremendous voice.

[The Nehor]

2 minutes ago, smac97 said:

I went to law school with him.  Tremendous voice.

The guy or the caterpillar?

[JLHPROF]

Elder Renlund just sent a shot across the bow of the entire Remnant movement.

Won't change anything of course.  But at least they addressed the incorrect doctrinal ideas being spouted.

[SteveO]

21 minutes ago, Judd said:

Temples:

1. Jakarta, Indonesia.
2. Ulaanbaataar, Mongolia. 
3. Kingston, Jamaica. 
4. Dublin, Ireland. 
5. Glasgow/Edinburgh, Scotland.

If 4 and 5 are true, it’s a good excuse as any to start my dream tour of the British Isles.

[JAHS]

55 minutes ago, MiserereNobis said:

someone will mention C.S. Lewis, J.R.R Tolkien, T.S. Eliot, or another Christian with initials who was a great author

[MiserereNobis]

23 minutes ago, Judd said:

3. Kingston, Jamaica. 

Since they put crosses on the doors of the temple in Rome in reference to Catholicism, are they going to put marijuana leaves on the Kingston temple for Rastafarianism?

24 minutes ago, Judd said:

4. Dublin, Ireland. 

Definitely going to have this on the doors:

[Judd]

2 minutes ago, MiserereNobis said:

Since they put crosses on the doors of the temple in Rome in reference to Catholicism, are they going to put marijuana leaves on the Kingston temple for Rastafarianism?

Definitely going to have this on the doors:

I don’t believe they put a cross on the Rome temple. There was an early animated computer model that had a subtle cross in the main doors, but I don’t believe that made it into the actual completion. 

[Scott Lloyd]

54 minutes ago, MiserereNobis said:

a shot of the crowd will show some guy wearing a blue shirt with a clashing purple tie

What? Purple and blue clash?

 

“Most colors blend well with the primary colors that make them up. In the case of purple, which is made from a combination of blue and red dyes, blue is a natural pairing to make. In particular, the color blue emphasizes the cool tones of purple clothing.

“Often the best way to pair blue and purple is to match the shades between the two. You can pair bright purple and bright blue together or a pastel purple and pastel blue. Alternatively, you can mix shades and pair light purple with dark blue or dark purple with light blue colors”

 https://silverbobbin.com/what-colors-go-with-purple-clothes/

[MiserereNobis]

6 minutes ago, Judd said:

I don’t believe they put a cross on the Rome temple. There was an early animated computer model that had a subtle cross in the main doors, but I don’t believe that made it into the actual completion. 

Well, so much for Guinness adorning an Irish temple...

[MiserereNobis]

5 minutes ago, Scott Lloyd said:

What? Purple and blue clash?

 

“Most colors blend well with the primary colors that make them up. In the case of purple, which is made from a combination of blue and red dyes, blue is a natural pairing to make. In particular, the color blue emphasizes the cool tones of purple clothing.

“Often the best way to pair blue and purple is to match the shades between the two. You can pair bright purple and bright blue together or a pastel purple and pastel blue. Alternatively, you can mix shades and pair light purple with dark blue or dark purple with light blue colors”

 https://silverbobbin.com/what-colors-go-with-purple-clothes/

Only the Oxford purple goes well with a blue shirt. Any AP purple tie is bound to clash.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

My guess, to use a quote by J. Golden Kimball…

”The same ole sermons for the same ole sinners, committing the same ole sins”.

Or something to this effect, with minor changes to administration of The Church. 
 

Anything else (anything good) will be a bonus. 

[Tacenda]

16 minutes ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

My guess, to use a quote by J. Golden Kimball…

”The same ole sermons for the same ole sinners, committing the same ole sins”.

Or something to this effect, with minor changes to administration of The Church. 
 

Anything else (anything good) will be a bonus. 

What no swear words??

[bluebell]

2 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

Did you see the guy in the choir with the caterpillar on his upper lip? I approve

There’s always one or two!  The one I saw made me laugh because his face looked like he was 12 but then he had gray hair. 😂

[bluebell]

1 hour ago, SteveO said:

If 4 and 5 are true, it’s a good excuse as any to start my dream tour of the British Isles.

I just got back from the UK and it was so much fun!!  I hope you get to go soon. 

[Teancum]

2 hours ago, JLHPROF said:

Elder Renlund just sent a shot across the bow of the entire Remnant movement.

Won't change anything of course.  But at least they addressed the incorrect doctrinal ideas being spouted.

What did he say?

[Teancum]

2 hours ago, SteveO said:

If 4 and 5 are true, it’s a good excuse as any to start my dream tour of the British Isles.

You need to have a temple to motivate you to go somewhere?

[InCognitus]

57 minutes ago, bluebell said:

I just got back from the UK and it was so much fun!!  I hope you get to go soon. 

I remember you telling us that you were going there.  I hope you get an opportunity to share some of the things that you experienced on your trip (like what you saw at the British Museum), somewhere here on the board.

[Ragerunner]

Had a chance to look through some of the new Strength of Youth. I really like the focus on learning how to have your spirit gain strength to control your physical body. (Big Picture Approach)

I did notice this change:

New SFY: “Outside of marriage between a man and a woman, it is wrong to touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body even if clothed. In your choices about what you do, look at, read, listen to, think about, post, or text, avoid anything that purposely arouses lustful emotions in others or yourself. This includes pornography in any form.“

vs

Old SFY: “Do not do anything else that arouses sexual feelings. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body.”

It seems they maybe steeping away from a focus on masturbation. Maybe not? What do you think?

I can remember when I was a teenager in the late 80’s/early 90s and our leaders and Bishopric would tell us young men that masturbation was just as sinful as having sex with a girl outside of marriage and it would make you unworthy to serve a mission without full repentance. This was a repeated discussion item.

[The Nehor]

17 minutes ago, Ragerunner said:

I can remember when I was a teenager in the late 80’s/early 90s and our leaders and Bishopric would tell us young men that masturbation was just as sinful as having sex with a girl outside of marriage and it would make you unworthy to serve a mission without full repentance. This was a repeated discussion item.

Bold strategy. I might have come to the conclusion that if they are both equally sinful might as well go for the more enjoyable one.

[Calm]

Ken is providing summaries in Social Hall.

https://www.mormondialogue.org/topic/74857-ken-live-blogs-192nd-semiannual-general-conference/