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Threadbanned from my polygamy thread?


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3 minutes ago, rongo said:

1) Nemesis could reply in private, as I first contacted him. He could also be terse and brief. I still think that even "jerks" deserve some sort of brief response. He doesn't have to get into a ***-for-tat in threads.

2) If flags or reports don't trigger bans, then that raises even more questions.

3) I'm getting dangerously close to "RIP rongo: 2003-2022" territory. 

1) Would you be satisfied or would you argue the point and then be equally miffed that he ignored you?

2) They don’t automatically trigger bans.

3) Danger Will Robinson!

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1 minute ago, The Nehor said:

1) Would you be satisfied or would you argue the point and then be equally miffed that he ignored you?

2) They don’t automatically trigger bans.

3) Danger Will Robinson!

I would be happy and would shut up if he simply contacted me and told me what his thought process is (because this situation is so out there. When things are heated and people are being jerks, that's understandable. But I can't make heads or tails of this. So what assurances do I have that he won't have an episode and ban me again for no reason?)

It would not be a conversation. I wouldn't reply to his response, if you're serving as re go between here. ;)

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33 minutes ago, rongo said:

Before I have to walk the plank for speaking evil of Nemesis, a couple more thoughts.

1) Has a thread originator ever been banned from his own thread? I doubt it, and definitely not when not behaving outrageously. No one has any idea what the offending post was!

2) The arbitrariness here is astounding. Why can't @Tacenda get rep points, bit other posters who are at least as vocal in their skepticism and unhappiness with the Church can? Nemesis has said before, "It's my board, I can do what I want for whatever reasons I want, and I don't have to explain myself to anyone." Technically true, yes, but just what kind of a parent, spouse, neighbor, etc. is a person like that like? No, you don't have to tell people what their supposed offenses we're, but why not do it? What kind of a person runs a message board that way?  

Yes, an OP has been banned from their own threads before.  Also, there are more mods than just nemesis and they also ban people.  And finally, it looks like the way that the software is set up that limited people can't get rep points.  I doubt it was something that Nemesis set up specifically to work like that.

I get the frustration but you're going off the rails a little.  Just don't post if you don't think that the way the board is run is ethical.

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28 minutes ago, bluebell said:

I get the frustration but you're going off the rails a little.  Just don't post if you don't think that the way the board is run is ethical.

 

26 minutes ago, bluebell said:

We would miss you but do what you feel like you gotta do.  

I might already be off the rails,and grinding the rims to nubs. 

I'm ticked enough about this, I think you're right.

It's been a great 18 years, people! Kirk out.

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54 minutes ago, rongo said:

1) Nemesis could reply in private, as I first contacted him. He could also be terse and brief. I still think that even "jerks" deserve some sort of brief response. He doesn't have to get into a ***-for-tat in threads.

2) If flags or reports don't trigger bans, then that raises even more questions.

3) I'm getting dangerously close to "RIP rongo: 2003-2022" territory. 

We've all been thread banned.  It's not worth leaving the board over.  I was incorrectly accused of racist doctrine and thread banned a few years back.

I will say it's odd there's no red comment on the thread about any bans.

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I just re-read all of rongo's posts in that thread with the Board Rules open in another window.  I did not see where he broke any of the rules.   Not everyone was always happy with his posts, but that's hardly breaking news. 

1 hour ago, rongo said:

So what assurances do I have that he won't have an episode and ban me again for no reason?

I totally understand what you're saying.

EDIT:  Having read juliann's post just above, I have also written to Nemesis, rather than voicing my opinion about rongo's treatment here.

55 minutes ago, rongo said:

I might already be off the rails,and grinding the rims to nubs. 

I'm ticked enough about this, I think you're right.

It's been a great 18 years, people! Kirk out.

Or you might give 'em another strike before you decide that you're out... ?

Edited by manol
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When blatant wrong decisions are made other mods will step in, correct and provide better context to the mod that made the first decision.  
 

Just note mods have lived by a long philosophy that no one has ever died over a bad mod decision.  I have just been proven wrong.  With that, this is exactly why we don’t discuss decisions for every temper tantrum we receive.  
 

-Nemesis

 

 

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3 hours ago, rongo said:

 

I might already be off the rails,and grinding the rims to nubs. 

I'm ticked enough about this, I think you're right.

It's been a great 18 years, people! Kirk out.

Like I said, we will miss you but posters come and go all the time so if you feel like you have to go for some reason then good luck to you on where you land next!

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5 hours ago, Scott Lloyd said:

I was never aware of a 10-page limit. I’ve only ever been on here as a registered user. Maybe it’s still in force. 

That is new to me too.  I’ve never ‘lurked’ as it was too convenient to use the unread posts program rather than trying to remember where I had last stopped reading a thread.

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I'll let @Nemesisspeak for their self, but wonder if it was accidental, or if it was only meant to be locked?

I think it was getting knee deep into several problems such as how women feel about the whole polygamy thing and how then we have the problem with the male counterparts on the board that say things they don't realize offend women. 

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Rongo is probably well liked in his real life.  To be maligned as such here by the Authorities probably felt unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Rongo if you decide to stick around, no judgement here.  But if you want to reincarnate, apparently that's a thing too. 

After all, being deemed unworthy is a very shameful place to reside indeed.  I suppose we are all looking for love and acceptance, without exception.

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15 minutes ago, Peacefully said:

My name is Peacefully, I’ve been thread-banned and lived to tell the tale. I will be using Scott’s hack of signing in as a visitor to see the thread I was banned from, if I can remember what it was. 
 

Rongo, you should probably develop a thicker skin before giving your polygamy talk. 

Not a hack. You just log out and go look and log back in when done. Been doing that for years.

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Quote

 

Where else do people never know what their offenses are?

Like throughout life when you accidentally offend people and they never explain because they think you should mindread or that you don’t know is even more offensive.  You have been very lucky if you have never been left wondering ‘what the hell happened?’

I have never been aware of a moderator (had to remove board because I thought of a couple, though they are not particularly civil) lasting as long as this one and staying more or less consistent.  Nemesis has worked out a routine that makes moderating bearable for him for this long, which in my view as a former mod on another very similar board is a mini miracle.  I as a mod did try and explain our decisions in hopes that posters would understand and improve their style.  What I found out was 1) those that improved did it without input from me pretty much each time; 2) the ones that wanted clarification not only did not change their ways for longer than a chance to get unbanned, many argued against the ban turning my little part time effort as a mod into a full time human resource manager and they drew in other posters to take their side and took the argument to multiple threads, and also kept including complaints about moderating in their other comments; and 3) I had more posters walk after being offended by my clarified calls than my nonclarified calls.  I think knowing why they got banned was more offensive to them because they had something concrete to feel indignant about.

That board started out pretty much like this one (as far as I am aware, this board was actually started in part because that one was getting so screwed up, including the arguments over moderation between posters that were creating more hostility on the board than lessening it, but it might have been just good timing; still this board took off when that board tanked as posters migrated here), had the same topics for discussion and lasted less than 5 years, 3 solid good ones imo.  Posters moved over here, preferring the style of moderation.  Yes, it bites when you are on the end of the moderating stick, but you could look at it as taking one for the team even if unjust in your view and move on because overall Nemesis’ choices for moderation have created a board you were willing to stick with for almost 20 years.

Edited by Calm
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1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

I'll let @Nemesisspeak for their self, but wonder if it was accidental, or if it was only meant to be locked?

Speak “for their self”?

Just one more illustration of the pitfalls of using the singular they/them/their pronoun. Every bit as problematic as “he-or-she” and the  he/him/his as generic pronoun. 
 

Not meaning to rag on you personally, Tacenda. The same sort of thing is apt to befall most anyone who gets entrenched in the practice of using the singular-they.

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1 hour ago, Calm said:

Like throughout life when you accidentally offend people and they never explain because they think you should mindread or that you don’t know is even more offensive.  You have been very lucky if you have never been left wondering ‘what the hell happened?’

I have never been aware of a moderator or a board lasting as long as this one.  Nemesis has worked out a routine that makes moderating bearable for him for this long, which in my view as a former mod on another very similar board is a mini miracle.  I did try and explain in hopes that posters would understand and improve their style.  What I found out was 1) those that improved did it without input from me pretty much each time.  2) The ones that wanted clarification not only did not change their ways for longer than a chance to get unbanned, many argued against the ban turning my little part time effort as a mod into a full time human resource manager and they drew in other posters to take their side and took the argument to multiple threads, and also kept including complaints about moderating in their other comments and 3) I had more posters walk after being offended by my clarified calls than my nonclarified calls.  I think knowing why they got banned was more offensive to them because they had something concrete to feel indignant about.

That board started out pretty much like this one (as far as I am aware, this board was actually started in part because that one was getting so screwed up, including the arguments over moderation between posters that was creating more hostility on the board than lessening it, but it might have been just good timing; still this board took off when that board tanked as posters migrated here), had the same topics for discussion and lasted less than 5 years, 3 solid good ones imo.  Posters moved over here, preferring the style of moderation.  Yes, it bites when you are on the end of the moderating stick, but you could look at it as taking one for the team even if unjust in your view and move on because overall Nemesis’ choices for moderation have created a board you were willing to stick with for almost 20 years.

Did ZLMB finally vanish? I haven’t tried to go there in a long, long time. 

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32 minutes ago, Scott Lloyd said:

Did ZLMB finally vanish? I haven’t tried to go there in a long, long time. 

The site that hosted it went defunct a number of years ago and it was completely gone last time I tried to visit.  I was glad it went by that point.  Put it out of its misery.

Once they required registration in order to be seen as anything but “guest”, which meant all the old threads became impossible to follow for who said what, I lost interest in even visiting it, though I did every six months or so in case someone had used it for spam or vulgarity. It was too sad to see it in such a useless state and it was completely useless since I couldn’t even use it as a reference for quotes from interesting conversations since they would be ‘anonymous’.

 

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2 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Not a hack. You just log out and go look and log back in when done. Been doing that for years.

In my world we use the word for workarounds like this. Having to log out, go in as a visitor and then log back in, is a hack, imo. 

Edited by Peacefully
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I keep seeing stupid suggestions for life hacks or kitchen hacks in my FB feed. On occasion when I am desperate for mindless distraction I watch them. Sometimes decent ones even worth remembering. But chances are I won’t, lol. 

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