How are Jack Mormons, inactives/less actives, former investigators who are still favorable towards the LDS treated?

[poptart]

10 hours ago, Tacenda said:

Something sparked my memory and made me remember this. My dad wasn't very active, he had a back disability and would try his best to take my mom to Sacrament and would occasionally attend Elder's Quorum. When he did go, he said every time the teacher welcomed him as a visitor, he got a kick out of that. 

Currently my husband and I are inactive but watch Sacrament meeting on zoom, and occasionally I'll watch Sunday School zooms. We've been treated well, except I recently asked to be taken off the ministering lists for the both of us, because it became a drop off a gift sort of thing. I hate for people to have to spend their money like that. When sent an email about updated visits, I emailed back for us to be taken off the list because of the reasons stated. I also mentioned how I would have loved a text or call, but that never happened. I still would love that. But for some reason this doesn't happen. Does anyone else have this problem? Maybe some would love the drop off stuff! Not me, I actually like to get to know people without their needing to bring something. Just conversation sounds nice. 

But there are very good people in the church, and I acted the same way when I was all in probably, with drop offs and awkwardness around in-actives, sadly. 

 

That's kind of what I noticed last year, the saints I knew kept in touch, the rest kinda ghosted each other.

3 hours ago, Ahab said:

Usually, those who aren't fully active and faithful in the LDS church are treated better by those who are fully active and faithful in the LDS church than by those who aren't, and vice versa.  And usually those who investigate the church and choose not to join yet still love the LDS church are treated better by those who are fully active and faithful in the LDS church than by those who aren't, too.  There are exceptional cases on both sides, though, of course.

 

2 hours ago, Tacenda said:

Could you expand on this, what do you mean by saying those who are fully active and faithful treat those who aren't fully active and faithful better than those who aren't fully active believing members? Or I would love examples or true life experiences to show this is true. Because it seems off kilter to me.

What Tacenda said, I'm confused here.

1 hour ago, Hamba Tuhan said:

Nope. I spent 6.5 hours Saturday night visiting one of my ministering families at their specific request. One hour of that was travel time, and the rest was spent talking, eating, laughing, playing cards, sharing a message, praying, and collecting a fast offering. He's a non-Latter-day Saint Christian who vocally disagreed with the message we shared about the universal brotherhood of all people, and she's an 'apostate' member (her term, not mine). No awkwardness at all. We're friends. I've provided plenty of evidence to them over many years that I love them as they are. I also want them back at church -- and they know that -- but that's a decision they get to make.

I totally believe in universal brotherhood of all people.  Geez, let me guess, you're probably one of the only people who really cares about those two.  Seems like it's always the entitled ones who get decent people like you in their lives, i've known people who ended up homeless drug addicts, no one cared.

[LoudmouthMormon]

On 2/28/2021 at 6:51 PM, poptart said:

How are those who aren't fully active and faithful in the LDS church treated?  How about those who investigate the church, chose not to join yet still love the LDS church?

Personal stories:

My wife has been online friends with an inactive LDS lady for a few years.   The other day, it finally dawned on her that my wife was LDS, and she was just beside herself with how not-pushy my wife was.   She was almost wondering if my wife thought there was something wrong with her, and considered her not worthy of pushing the gospel on.  My wife figures she's got the recipe for chocolate chip cookies, and while she'll offer a cookie on occasion, she's not going to push the recipe unless it's asked for.

I've known of two nonmembers that have held sort of informal callings in our ward.   Both were men, married to members with member kids.  I think they both worked with the young men.

I did 6 years of inactivity myself, and never went on a mission.  My LDS family and peers were always respectful, nobody abandoned me or treated me differently.  This was in Salt Lake in the '80's.  I've never felt even a single twinge of being judged or thought poorly of because of either the inactivity or the lack of mission.  

[LoudmouthMormon]

On 2/28/2021 at 7:26 PM, poptart said:

How are things in the Utah Bubble?  Despite the bad ward experience I had, it still paled in comparison to what I went through as a child.  From what I saw, you guys care about your own even the less active.

This reminds me of other stories I've seen from the Finance Clerk office.  This is in Colorado, so out of "the bubble":

- Various bishops have had me help pay for various funerals over the years, for utterly inactive folks that nobody knows.  One inactive grandmother was the only member, and when she died, we covered the nonmember's grandchildren's rent and car payments for a number of months.  We actually delayed marking the member deceased, so we could continue to issue fast offering aid in her name.

- I've written a handful of substantial checks over the years to cover bills for nonmembers.  A furnace here, a new roof there.  I don't know the reasoning behind it, I'm just handed a bill from the bishop with instructions to pay it.  I had to do some pretty hefty research to find out how to issue checks when there isn't a direct member to tag as the recipient.

- My ward has received a handful of donations over the years from nonmembers (individuals and businesses).  These are usually prompted by some service project or other, where the people on site refuse to accept payment, and the folks find a way to push through our refusal to be paid.   We get checks in the mail, a bishop will be "accosted" in the hallway and have an envelope of cash pushed onto him before he knows what's happening, etc.  Our tiny town council writes the ward a check every year for our participation in a yearly town festival.  (We use the money to fund continued participation the next year.)

Edited March 3, 2021 by LoudmouthMormon

[poptart]

34 minutes ago, LoudmouthMormon said:

Personal stories:

My wife has been online friends with an inactive LDS lady for a few years.   The other day, it finally dawned on her that my wife was LDS, and she was just beside herself with how not-pushy my wife was.   She was almost wondering if my wife thought there was something wrong with her, and considered her not worthy of pushing the gospel on.  My wife figures she's got the recipe for chocolate chip cookies, and while she'll offer a cookie on occasion, she's not going to push the recipe unless it's asked for.

I've known of two nonmembers that have held sort of informal callings in our ward.   Both were men, married to members with member kids.  I think they both worked with the young men.

I did 6 years of inactivity myself, and never went on a mission.  My LDS family and peers were always respectful, nobody abandoned me or treated me differently.  This was in Salt Lake in the '80's.  I've never felt even a single twinge of being judged or thought poorly of because of either the inactivity or the lack of mission.  

 

19 minutes ago, LoudmouthMormon said:

This reminds me of other stories I've seen from the Finance Clerk office.  This is in Colorado, so out of "the bubble":

- Various bishops have had me help pay for various funerals over the years, for utterly inactive folks that nobody knows.  One inactive grandmother was the only member, and when she died, we covered the nonmember's grandchildren's rent and car payments for a number of months.  We actually delayed marking the member deceased, so we could continue to issue fast offering aid in her name.

- I've written a handful of substantial checks over the years to cover bills for nonmembers.  A furnace here, a new roof there.  I don't know the reasoning behind it, I'm just handed a bill from the bishop with instructions to pay it.  I had to do some pretty hefty research to find out how to issue checks when there isn't a direct member to tag as the recipient.

- My ward has received a handful of donations over the years from nonmembers (individuals and businesses).  These are usually prompted by some service project or other, where the people on site refuse to accept payment, and the folks find a way to push through our refusal to be paid.   We get checks in the mail, a bishop will be "accosted" in the hallway and have an envelope of cash pushed onto him before he knows what's happening, etc.  Our tiny town council writes the ward a check every year for our participation in a yearly town festival.  (We use the money to fund continued participation the next year.)

Something I don't talk about much, when my father died one bishop I knew asked if we needed anything, I declined.  My father was a violent alcoholic, I just wanted things over especially after the hell he put us through.  I think outside the LDS church and a few people I knew from Catholic parishes no one really ever lifted a finger.  It really does blow my mind there are still people out there that kind.  

[AtlanticMike]

16 hours ago, poptart said:

Something I don't talk about much, when my father died one bishop I knew asked if we needed anything, I declined.  My father was a violent alcoholic, I just wanted things over especially after the hell he put us through.  I think outside the LDS church and a few people I knew from Catholic parishes no one really ever lifted a finger.  It really does blow my mind there are still people out there that kind.  

Mormons are really nice people. I think alot has to do with we believe in not just faith, but works also. I try to do atleast 3 or 4 good deads a day. Small things people probably dont even really care about but I do, it makes me feel better so I do them. Learning how to make someone smile or having the ability to reach out and touch someone's heart is more rewarding for the person doing the act usually. Church and scouts taught me how to do that. One act of kindness can make someone remember you for a lifetime. 

[Hamba Tuhan]

'By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another'.

[Ahab]

22 hours ago, Tacenda said:

Could you expand on this, what do you mean by saying those who are fully active and faithful treat those who aren't fully active and faithful better than those who aren't fully active believing members? Or I would love examples or true life experiences to show this is true. Because it seems off kilter to me.

Well, first of all, you didn't summarize what I said correctly. I said "Usually, those who aren't fully active and faithful in the LDS church are treated better by those who are fully active and faithful in the LDS church than by those who aren't, and vice versa."

In other words, usually [those who aren't fully active and faithful in the Church]...let's call this Group A... are treated better by those who aren't Group A than by those who are Group A.

For example, suppose 2 from Group A and 2 from some other group walk into a bar together.  In my experience those not in Group A will get treated better by those in Group A than vice versa.

[Ahab]

18 minutes ago, Hamba Tuhan said:

'By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another'.

The world loves it's own better than those who are not of their world, too.