Letting others see our happiness

[Rain]

AtlanticMike on the Strangite thread said, "People ask me all the time why I'm so happy, why I smile, and I've always thought it was my Mormonism and the comfort I get from believing in something that gives me answers to so many of lifes difficult questions. "

Merilee Boyack talks about her first year in college and seeing that some people are friendlier and draw people to them.  She decided to fake it - not be fake, but put the effort in to act friendlier.  By the end of the year she became friendlier and it was no longer an effort.

When reading the scriptures I always thought of Jesus being the serious type.  Then more recently I saw efforts in art showing him being more loving or happy.  Most recently I have watched the available The Chosen episodes and see him portrayed as "happy" most of the time - and I have grown deeper in my desire to know Jesus better because of it.

Occasionally I have heard things like Mike talks about above or I just think about showing "happiness" and think I ought to put in more effort - like Merilee Boyack.

Other times I think about personality types. What if we feel calm, at peace, hunger for getting to know God etc, but our personality doesn't show us as "happy"?  If I can see The Chosen style of Jesus draws me into learning of Him more should I also be putting in the effort to show "happy"?  Not a fake happiness - just an effort to show the happiness that is inside.

We are taught to let our light shine.  Is this the same thing? 

 

[longview]

Matthew 9:2. And, behold, they brought to him a man sick of the palsy, lying on a bed: and Jesus seeing their faith said unto the sick of the palsy; Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee.
Matthew 14:27. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
Mark 6:50. For they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.
John 16:33. These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Acts 23:11. And the night following the Lord stood by him, and said, Be of good cheer, Paul: for as thou hast testified of me in Jerusalem, so must thou bear witness also at Rome.
Acts 27:22. And now I exhort you to be of good cheer: for there shall be no loss of any man’s life among you, but of the ship.
Acts 27:25. Wherefore, sirs, be of good cheer: for I believe God, that it shall be even as it was told me.
Alma 17:31. And it came to pass that he flattered them by his words, saying: My brethren, be of good cheer and let us go in search of the flocks, and we will gather them together and bring them back unto the place of water; and thus we will preserve the flocks unto the king and he will not slay us.
3 Nephi 1:13. Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfil all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets.
D&C 61:36. And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you;
D&C 68:6. Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come.
D&C 78:18. And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.
D&C 112:4. Let thy heart be of good cheer before my face; and thou shalt bear record of my name, not only unto the Gentiles, but also unto the Jews; and thou shalt send forth my word unto the ends of the earth.

 

Being cheerful and having light shine from us go hand in hand.  It should be natural because we have so much to be grateful for.

Edited February 9, 2021 by longview

[MustardSeed]

I think charity requires that attitude and I think it also feeds it.  IMO- 

[Amulek]

1 hour ago, Rain said:

When reading the scriptures I always thought of Jesus being the serious type.

When I was younger I remember 'memorizing' the verse: Jesus wept. 

And I remember wondering why that was in there.

Is it just so we could have one super-easy verse to memorize?

Or was it perhaps because seeing the Savior crying was so outside of the Apostle's experience with Jesus that it was especially memorable / worth noting. 

 

[Tacenda]

1 hour ago, Rain said:

AtlanticMike on the Strangite thread said, "People ask me all the time why I'm so happy, why I smile, and I've always thought it was my Mormonism and the comfort I get from believing in something that gives me answers to so many of lifes difficult questions. "

Merilee Boyack talks about her first year in college and seeing that some people are friendlier and draw people to them.  She decided to fake it - not be fake, but put the effort in to act friendlier.  By the end of the year she became friendlier and it was no longer an effort.

When reading the scriptures I always thought of Jesus being the serious type.  Then more recently I saw efforts in art showing him being more loving or happy.  Most recently I have watched the available The Chosen episodes and see him portrayed as "happy" most of the time - and I have grown deeper in my desire to know Jesus better because of it.

Occasionally I have heard things like Mike talks about above or I just think about showing "happiness" and think I ought to put in more effort - like Merilee Boyack.

Other times I think about personality types. What if we feel calm, at peace, hunger for getting to know God etc, but our personality doesn't show us as "happy"?  If I can see The Chosen style of Jesus draws me into learning of Him more should I also be putting in the effort to show "happy"?  Not a fake happiness - just an effort to show the happiness that is inside.

We are taught to let our light shine.  Is this the same thing? 

 

I like this! I think the "fake it till you make it" philosophy could play into this. I'm going to try the fake happiness, and see if it turns into real happiness, it most assuredly will provide others happiness, so such a good goal!

When my mom was in a care center with the late stage of Alzheimer's my dad use to say he wished the CNA's would just fake being happy around mom, and how much that would mean, faking is good enough and will beat grumpiness all the way. He may have put differently but that is the gist. I think that would be a good lesson for all. 

 

[AtlanticMike]

1 hour ago, Rain said:

AtlanticMike on the Strangite thread said, "People ask me all the time why I'm so happy, why I smile, and I've always thought it was my Mormonism and the comfort I get from believing in something that gives me answers to so many of lifes difficult questions. "

Merilee Boyack talks about her first year in college and seeing that some people are friendlier and draw people to them.  She decided to fake it - not be fake, but put the effort in to act friendlier.  By the end of the year she became friendlier and it was no longer an effort.

When reading the scriptures I always thought of Jesus being the serious type.  Then more recently I saw efforts in art showing him being more loving or happy.  Most recently I have watched the available The Chosen episodes and see him portrayed as "happy" most of the time - and I have grown deeper in my desire to know Jesus better because of it.

Occasionally I have heard things like Mike talks about above or I just think about showing "happiness" and think I ought to put in more effort - like Merilee Boyack.

Other times I think about personality types. What if we feel calm, at peace, hunger for getting to know God etc, but our personality doesn't show us as "happy"?  If I can see The Chosen style of Jesus draws me into learning of Him more should I also be putting in the effort to show "happy"?  Not a fake happiness - just an effort to show the happiness that is inside.

We are taught to let our light shine.  Is this the same thing? 

 

Happiness is a state of mind. If you're not naturally happy, if happiness isn't part of you right now, you can teach yourself how to become happy, even if you have to fake it until it becomes part of you. The key is to fake it until your happy thoughts over take your negative, self defeating thoughts. I've done it and it changed my life. 

     I draw a lot of my happiness from Mormonism because it's set up in such a way that if you want to be happy, you can use Mormonism to accomplish an internal happiness, one that can actually be seen by other people as soon as they look at you. 

   

Edited February 9, 2021 by AtlanticMike

[LoudmouthMormon]

1 hour ago, longview said:

Matthew 9:2. And, behold, they brought to him a man sick of the palsy, lying on a bed: and Jesus seeing their faith said unto the sick of the palsy; Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee.
Matthew 14:27. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
Mark 6:50. For they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.
John 16:33. These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Acts 23:11. And the night following the Lord stood by him, and said, Be of good cheer, Paul: for as thou hast testified of me in Jerusalem, so must thou bear witness also at Rome.
Acts 27:22. And now I exhort you to be of good cheer: for there shall be no loss of any man’s life among you, but of the ship.
Acts 27:25. Wherefore, sirs, be of good cheer: for I believe God, that it shall be even as it was told me.
Alma 17:31. And it came to pass that he flattered them by his words, saying: My brethren, be of good cheer and let us go in search of the flocks, and we will gather them together and bring them back unto the place of water; and thus we will preserve the flocks unto the king and he will not slay us.
3 Nephi 1:13. Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfil all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets.
D&C 61:36. And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you;
D&C 68:6. Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come.
D&C 78:18. And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.
D&C 112:4. Let thy heart be of good cheer before my face; and thou shalt bear record of my name, not only unto the Gentiles, but also unto the Jews; and thou shalt send forth my word unto the ends of the earth.

Commandments and urging to be of good cheer?  It's almost as if it were a choice.  People can pick whether to be cheerful or cranky?  How about that.   This means being cheerful is a set of actions and behaviors, more than it is an internal state or feeling.

Edited February 9, 2021 by LoudmouthMormon

[rchorse]

I think it takes all personality types to spread the gospel. Some people don't feel comfortable around those who are extremely outgoing, bubbly, and cheerful and will have a hard time opening up to them. Others need someone with that kind of personality to draw them out. For me personally, I am happy, but I don't come across as a beaming ray of sunshine 😄 Once people get to know me, though, it's not hard to tell that I am a happy person.

What I take from the teaching to let our light shine is not that we need to change our personality, but that we need to show and share our personality and how the gospel has improved our lives.

Hopefully, we're also improving and becoming closer to the Savior, but I don't think that has to mean we all act like cheerleaders, either.

[Rain]

1 hour ago, longview said:

Matthew 9:2. And, behold, they brought to him a man sick of the palsy, lying on a bed: and Jesus seeing their faith said unto the sick of the palsy; Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee.
Matthew 14:27. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
Mark 6:50. For they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.
John 16:33. These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Acts 23:11. And the night following the Lord stood by him, and said, Be of good cheer, Paul: for as thou hast testified of me in Jerusalem, so must thou bear witness also at Rome.
Acts 27:22. And now I exhort you to be of good cheer: for there shall be no loss of any man’s life among you, but of the ship.
Acts 27:25. Wherefore, sirs, be of good cheer: for I believe God, that it shall be even as it was told me.
Alma 17:31. And it came to pass that he flattered them by his words, saying: My brethren, be of good cheer and let us go in search of the flocks, and we will gather them together and bring them back unto the place of water; and thus we will preserve the flocks unto the king and he will not slay us.
3 Nephi 1:13. Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfil all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets.
D&C 61:36. And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you;
D&C 68:6. Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come.
D&C 78:18. And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.
D&C 112:4. Let thy heart be of good cheer before my face; and thou shalt bear record of my name, not only unto the Gentiles, but also unto the Jews; and thou shalt send forth my word unto the ends of the earth.

 

Being cheerful and having light shine from us go hand in hand.  It should be natural because we have so much to be grateful for.

What does "be of good cheer" mean?  What does it look like?

[Rain]

1 hour ago, MustardSeed said:

I think charity requires that attitude and I think it also feeds it.  IMO- 

My husband and I have wondered about this a lot. 

He is a huge introvert.  He will often tell me that he "doesn't like people" because being around people too much drains him.  Yet he spent 7 hours on Saturday helping a sick man do not pleasant personal things so that the man's wife could have a break.  It is not uncommon for him to be there for several hours helping the man. With all this he is very allergic to something in their house so he strips all his clothes off (which I then toss in the laundry) and takes a shower because an itchy rash breaks out all over his skin.  

He is 6'6".  His boss once told him that he need to smile more while he was walking through the hallway.  He was scaring people - his resting face looks "grumpy" and with his size... Yet he has a number of coworkers who have left the company and call him occasionally to keep him updated in theirs lives because he means so much to them.

So should he try to be more extroverted and look more happy?

 

[Rain]

1 hour ago, Amulek said:

When I was younger I remember 'memorizing' the verse: Jesus wept. 

And I remember wondering why that was in there.

Is it just so we could have one super-easy verse to memorize?

Or was it perhaps because seeing the Savior crying was so outside of the Apostle's experience with Jesus that it was especially memorable / worth noting. 

 

I hadn't thought of that before.  Thanks.

[Rain]

1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

I like this! I think the "fake it till you make it" philosophy could play into this. I'm going to try the fake happiness, and see if it turns into real happiness, it most assuredly will provide others happiness, so such a good goal!

When my mom was in a care center with the late stage of Alzheimer's my dad use to say he wished the CNA's would just fake being happy around mom, and how much that would mean, faking is good enough and will beat grumpiness all the way. He may have put differently but that is the gist. I think that would be a good lesson for all. 

 

Back before covid lol I was taking some "high fitness" classes and found all the instructors were pretty bubbly.  One week I felt I should fake it during those classes and smile and be a little bubblier while I was there.  It was interesting because I enjoyed the class more, but man it was hard to maintain!

[Rain]

51 minutes ago, AtlanticMike said:

Happiness is a state of mind. If you're not naturally happy, if happiness isn't part of you right now, you can teach yourself how to become happy, even if you have to fake it until it becomes part of you. The key is to fake it until your happy thoughts over take your negative, self defeating thoughts. I've done it and it changed my life. 

     I draw a lot of my happiness from Mormonism because it's set up in such a way that if you want to be happy, you can use Mormonism to accomplish an internal happiness, one that can actually be seen by other people as soon as they look at you. 

   

But what if you feel happy, but it doesn't show on you like it shows on others? Obviously there is some natural, countenance thing that comes from living the gospel.  If John and George are both the "same" spiritual, but John is quiet and George is talkative will people see they are the "same" happy?   

[Rain]

36 minutes ago, rchorse said:

I think it takes all personality types to spread the gospel. Some people don't feel comfortable around those who are extremely outgoing, bubbly, and cheerful and will have a hard time opening up to them. Others need someone with that kind of personality to draw them out. For me personally, I am happy, but I don't come across as a beaming ray of sunshine 😄 Once people get to know me, though, it's not hard to tell that I am a happy person.

What I take from the teaching to let our light shine is not that we need to change our personality, but that we need to show and share our personality and how the gospel has improved our lives.

Hopefully, we're also improving and becoming closer to the Savior, but I don't think that has to mean we all act like cheerleaders, either.

How do you know when it is a personality thing we are trying to change and when we are trying to change the amount we show and share our personality?  

[rchorse]

43 minutes ago, Rain said:

How do you know when it is a personality thing we are trying to change and when we are trying to change the amount we show and share our personality?  

Good question. I don't have a good answer. I think it's something everyone has to figure it out for themselves.

[AtlanticMike]

1 hour ago, Rain said:

But what if you feel happy, but it doesn't show on you like it shows on others? Obviously there is some natural, countenance thing that comes from living the gospel.  If John and George are both the "same" spiritual, but John is quiet and George is talkative will people see they are the "same" happy?   

First off, I read the story about your 6'6" husband and he sounds like a great guy. And if he's happy with being an introvert he should keep doing his thing, everyone is different, it takes all types of people, that's what makes life so much fun. I think the only time you should try to change who you are is when you're unhappy with yourself physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally. Like you for instance, you said you wanted to try putting more effort into your happiness like Merilee Boyack, I say go for it, but remember (in my opinion) if your trying to raise your happiness level beyond what you think you possess naturally, it takes alot of work. I look at the process of raising your happiness much like learning an instrument, the more you practice correctly, the better your skill level becomes. 

   I think genetically, and using my family history as a reference, I'm predisposed to being naturally unhappy, depression runs in my family and my childhood was a mess. From 10 to the age of 25 I was on just about every depression medication I could of been without actually being admitted to a hospital. Atleast a dozen therapist, lds therapist and non lds therapist. My mom tried them all, nothing worked for me. On the outside I looked perfectly fine and for the most part I looked happy. But inside a was a mess mentally, I had no desire to be alive. At 25 I decided to teach myself how to be happy and I had to fake it until my brain had and opportunity to realize happiness was actually an emotion it didn't have to automatically reject. Eventually my negative thoughts started to be taken over by happy thoughts. I'm no psychiatrist or therapist, but whatever I did worked because I haven't been on medication for depression ever since. But for me it's a daily process and I absolutely love it. It makes me happy having to try to be a happy person, if that makes sense🤣.

    If your really interested in being happier, I'll tell you how I started my process. I wrote down everything I did and any negative thoughts I had during the day. My first page/day was crazy insane with negative thoughts that were totally self-defeating. So I started forcing myself to take one hour before bed and just lay down and listen to music I like and tell myself that I'm a happy, good, decent person, over and over and over and over and over. Also, during the day I made myself go above and beyond to help people. Little things like help an old lady put groceries in her car then pushing her cart back to the store. Picking up trash cans knocked over in someone's ditch. Buying a homeless person lunch, I've even bought gift cards and handed them out. Donating time at soup kitchens. Cutting lawns or raking leaves for free. All these actions sound really nice because they are, but I was doing them to make my brain understand I wasn't a worthless person, that I was actually needed and I could make a difference on this planet. Eventually my daily diary became more positive than negative and I could tell a huge difference in how I viewed my life. Lastly, and this is going to sound really weird, but I dont care, I'll tell you anyway. I experimented with smiling. I learned how to greet people and give them a smile that says hi, I love you, without ever having to say the actual words. Just that was life changing for me because I'm a business owner and it helped me tremendously with people being able to trust me almost as soon as they met me. So basically, I'm saying,  if you desire to be happier, you can do it, there's nothing stopping you. Being happy in my opinion truly is a state of mind.

[Rain]

3 hours ago, AtlanticMike said:

First off, I read the story about your 6'6" husband and he sounds like a great guy. And if he's happy with being an introvert he should keep doing his thing, everyone is different, it takes all types of people, that's what makes life so much fun. I think the only time you should try to change who you are is when you're unhappy with yourself physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally. Like you for instance, you said you wanted to try putting more effort into your happiness like Merilee Boyack, I say go for it, but remember (in my opinion) if your trying to raise your happiness level beyond what you think you possess naturally, it takes alot of work. I look at the process of raising your happiness much like learning an instrument, the more you practice correctly, the better your skill level becomes. 

   I think genetically, and using my family history as a reference, I'm predisposed to being naturally unhappy, depression runs in my family and my childhood was a mess. From 10 to the age of 25 I was on just about every depression medication I could of been without actually being admitted to a hospital. Atleast a dozen therapist, lds therapist and non lds therapist. My mom tried them all, nothing worked for me. On the outside I looked perfectly fine and for the most part I looked happy. But inside a was a mess mentally, I had no desire to be alive. At 25 I decided to teach myself how to be happy and I had to fake it until my brain had and opportunity to realize happiness was actually an emotion it didn't have to automatically reject. Eventually my negative thoughts started to be taken over by happy thoughts. I'm no psychiatrist or therapist, but whatever I did worked because I haven't been on medication for depression ever since. But for me it's a daily process and I absolutely love it. It makes me happy having to try to be a happy person, if that makes sense🤣.

    If your really interested in being happier, I'll tell you how I started my process. I wrote down everything I did and any negative thoughts I had during the day. My first page/day was crazy insane with negative thoughts that were totally self-defeating. So I started forcing myself to take one hour before bed and just lay down and listen to music I like and tell myself that I'm a happy, good, decent person, over and over and over and over and over. Also, during the day I made myself go above and beyond to help people. Little things like help an old lady put groceries in her car then pushing her cart back to the store. Picking up trash cans knocked over in someone's ditch. Buying a homeless person lunch, I've even bought gift cards and handed them out. Donating time at soup kitchens. Cutting lawns or raking leaves for free. All these actions sound really nice because they are, but I was doing them to make my brain understand I wasn't a worthless person, that I was actually needed and I could make a difference on this planet. Eventually my daily diary became more positive than negative and I could tell a huge difference in how I viewed my life. Lastly, and this is going to sound really weird, but I dont care, I'll tell you anyway. I experimented with smiling. I learned how to greet people and give them a smile that says hi, I love you, without ever having to say the actual words. Just that was life changing for me because I'm a business owner and it helped me tremendously with people being able to trust me almost as soon as they met me. So basically, I'm saying,  if you desire to be happier, you can do it, there's nothing stopping you. Being happy in my opinion truly is a state of mind.

I really appreciate all you wrote.  Good stuff.

I want to be clear though.  I'm not talking about being happy so much as showing you are happy.  The Merilee Boyack may have been a bad example for what I was trying to say. 

It's like what @rchorse said.  That he doesn't come across as all sunshine, but if you get to know him you can tell he is happy.

So when you and others say, "People ask me all the time why I'm so happy, why I smile, and I've always thought it was my Mormonism" it makes me wonder what people think this looks like.  Is it always a smile?  Joking?  Someone who shows extroverted characteristics?  

We've all heard about light in eyes and the look of someone's countenance.  Do those always show if we are in the right spiritual place?  Say, my husband had on his resting grumpy face because he was thinking - do people still see his light?

So two part question I guess.

1. What makes someone else look at us and say, "that guy is happy"?

2. If we are happy it, but others don't see it or don't see it till they get to know us well, should we be working on it? 

We know we should let our light shine.  Is that a talent we need to develop or something that if you got it people always see it?

 

 

Edited February 10, 2021 by Rain

[AtlanticMike]

26 minutes ago, Rain said:

It's like what @rchorse said.  That he doesn't come across as all sunshine, but if you get to know him you can tell he is happy.

Sounds to me like rchorse is probably a little cautious at first. Probably a really cool laid back person and once you get to know him he let's his personality shine.

 

30 minutes ago, Rain said:

So whenn you and others say, "People ask me all the time why I'm so happy, why I smile, and I've always thought it was my Mormonism" it makes me wonder what people think this looks like.  Is it always a smile?  Joking?  Someone who shows extroverted characteristics?  

For me it's standing up straight, shoulders back, and using facial expressions to show I'm confident in my ability to complete a task or  follow through on a promise. I started my business when I was young with no education in business or sales, I just knew how to roof, that's it. So over time I've learned that having a positive attitude and acting confident and having patience with people is my #1 job when meeting customers, explaining the roof installation or helping them pick a color is actually secondary. 

 

50 minutes ago, Rain said:

We've all heard about light in eyes and the look of someone's countenance.  Do those always show if we are in the right spiritual place?  Say, my husband had on his resting grumpy face because he was thinking - do people still see his light?

I would say yes, if he tries to perfect his personality traits. Everyone is different, I believe you find out what your strengths are and use them to your advantage. For example, like I said when meeting people I use my confidence and facial expressions to try to win customers over. If your husband was trying to impress someone, maybe he would use is humbleness, maybe he's a quite thinker, people are drawn to that also. Basically, hone the personality traits god gave you and your light will shine through. It's about being comfortable in your skin, people can see that, it's not a one size fits all in my opinion. 

 

1 hour ago, Rain said:

What makes someone else look at us and say, "that guy is happy 

Again, I think its being happy in your own skin and knowing exactly who you are. You can see stress and doubt, I was really good at covering it up when I was young, but once I figured out how to be happy it really did change my life.

 

1 hour ago, Rain said:

We know we should let our light shine.  Is that a talent we need to develop or something that if you got it people always see it?

I think it's both. If you feel like you dont naturally have it, develop it. Practice what works best. Use your natural god given abilities and perfect them.

[CV75]

20 hours ago, Rain said:

We are taught to let our light shine.  Is this the same thing? 

Here's how I see it: there are some things we can help and some we cannot. There are many kinds or "wavelengths" of "light" that we transmit as individuals. Some we produce and some we pass along from the Light of Christ or the Holy Ghost that we receive. I think the scriptural context is an invitation or command to become purified and sanctified so that others are drawn to Christ as you are (this is the "pass along" aspect). The rest is personality, and each personality resonates and clashes with others. Appreciating the various differences helps us resonate more and clash less with a greater variety of other personalities. We can also learn and develop techniques that facilitate functional or positive interpersonal relationships, awareness, mindfulness, etc.

I think we let our light shine so we can unite as in D&C 88:40: "For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own; judgment goeth before the face of him who sitteth upon the throne and governeth and executeth all things."

The dark side of this of course is using interpersonal techniques to manipulate and con people!

[Tacenda]

A friend posted about a great book, according to her, called, "The Happiness Advantage". It's available on Amazon and looks like it's highly rated. Maybe I'll look into it. 

Here's a link:

https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Advantage-Principles-Psychology-Performance/dp/0307591549

And here is a Ted Talk by the author:

 

 

Edited February 11, 2021 by Tacenda

[Ahab]

On 2/9/2021 at 8:41 AM, Rain said:

AtlanticMike on the Strangite thread said, "People ask me all the time why I'm so happy, why I smile, and I've always thought it was my Mormonism and the comfort I get from believing in something that gives me answers to so many of lifes difficult questions. "

Merilee Boyack talks about her first year in college and seeing that some people are friendlier and draw people to them.  She decided to fake it - not be fake, but put the effort in to act friendlier.  By the end of the year she became friendlier and it was no longer an effort.

When reading the scriptures I always thought of Jesus being the serious type.  Then more recently I saw efforts in art showing him being more loving or happy.  Most recently I have watched the available The Chosen episodes and see him portrayed as "happy" most of the time - and I have grown deeper in my desire to know Jesus better because of it.

Occasionally I have heard things like Mike talks about above or I just think about showing "happiness" and think I ought to put in more effort - like Merilee Boyack.

Other times I think about personality types. What if we feel calm, at peace, hunger for getting to know God etc, but our personality doesn't show us as "happy"?  If I can see The Chosen style of Jesus draws me into learning of Him more should I also be putting in the effort to show "happy"?  Not a fake happiness - just an effort to show the happiness that is inside.

We are taught to let our light shine.  Is this the same thing? 

 

I experience most emotions and states of mind at one time or another and when I am happy, as far as I know, most people can tell I am happy because I'm smiling or at least somehow showing I am in a good mood and aware of my blessings.

There are times when I am sad, though, and when I am sad I am not happy even though I may and usually still have joy in my heart.  And then there are also some times when I get frustrated or stressed out, or am sleeping and not aware of my emotions.

[Ahab]

On 2/9/2021 at 1:41 PM, AtlanticMike said:

... So basically, I'm saying,  if you desire to be happier, you can do it, there's nothing stopping you. Being happy in my opinion truly is a state of mind.

Have you somehow learned how to be happy and sad at the same time?  I have found that when I am sad or experiencing some other state of mind I have a very difficult if not impossible time to be happy at the same time?

Any secrets or tips you can share on how to experience 2 or more states of mind at the same time would be appreciated.

Edited February 11, 2021 by Ahab

[AtlanticMike]

51 minutes ago, Ahab said:

Have you somehow learned how to be happy and sad at the same time?  I have found that when I am sad or experiencing some other state of mind I have a very difficult if not impossible time to be happy at the same time?

Any secrets or tips you can share on how to experience 2 or more states of mind at the same time would be appreciated.

I think people can be happy and sad at the same time, sure. I had someone pass away last year and I was sad I would never talk to them again, but I was also happy they weren't in severe pain anymore. Also, when my wife has a baby she's extremely happy and sad at the same time.

    I dont think I have any secrets, but one of the most beneficial exercises I do is, I lay down with my headset on, listen to music I like and tell myself over and over that I'm a happy, good, decent person. Sometimes for an hour or more, I probably say it atleast a 1000 times in a row. Basically, I'm replacing negativity with positivity. I'm sure in the psychology profession what I'm doing has a name, I've just never researched it. If you actually try doing this just remember to concentrate on your breathing also, deep rhythmic breaths really help.                                                            Figure out what you want to tell yourself and try it for a week, see what happens. Tell me how it goes.

[Rain]

On 2/10/2021 at 6:32 AM, CV75 said:

Here's how I see it: there are some things we can help and some we cannot. There are many kinds or "wavelengths" of "light" that we transmit as individuals. Some we produce and some we pass along from the Light of Christ or the Holy Ghost that we receive. I think the scriptural context is an invitation or command to become purified and sanctified so that others are drawn to Christ as you are (this is the "pass along" aspect). The rest is personality, and each personality resonates and clashes with others. Appreciating the various differences helps us resonate more and clash less with a greater variety of other personalities. We can also learn and develop techniques that facilitate functional or positive interpersonal relationships, awareness, mindfulness, etc.

I think we let our light shine so we can unite as in D&C 88:40: "For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own; judgment goeth before the face of him who sitteth upon the throne and governeth and executeth all things."

The dark side of this of course is using interpersonal techniques to manipulate and con people!

Ahh. This is right up my alley.  @Calm would probably like the physics discussion as well.

It makes sense that our light/countenance could be a physics thing based on our spiritualty/purity.  

It also makes sense that some people don't like being around "bubbly" people so having our different personalities to help us shine for different people makes sense.

Do you think though that sometimes our personality hides our spiritual wavelengths and maybe this is part of letting our light not shine and why the scriptures say to let it shine?  

I know we all have to look at ourselves to see just what we need to change, but do you think there is an...equation?...as to how much or what we need to work on?  Not asking for specifics obviously.  Just kind of fun to think about.

[Mark Beesley]

On 2/9/2021 at 9:53 AM, Amulek said:

When I was younger I remember 'memorizing' the verse: Jesus wept. 

And I remember wondering why that was in there.

Is it just so we could have one super-easy verse to memorize?

Or was it perhaps because seeing the Savior crying was so outside of the Apostle's experience with Jesus that it was especially memorable / worth noting.

 

This verse is intriguing, Jesus wept. From the context, it is not clear what precipitated the Savior’s tears, nor whether they were tears of happiness, sadness, or pain. I shed lots of tears, most are joyful, some are remorse. How we interpret His tears is a personal matter between us and the Holy Spirit.