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Papa, could use some prayers.


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4 hours ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

I feel humiliated using motorized carts. Something within my body, or my soul feels like this will continue,

or maybe until I learn to be grateful for motorized carts, and that I can sit upright in one?  (said with the utmost respect)  Why would needing help leave one feeling "humiliated"?

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19 hours ago, rpn said:

or maybe until I learn to be grateful for motorized carts, and that I can sit upright in one?  (said with the utmost respect)  Why would needing help leave one feeling "humiliated"?

I have just spent my whole life, punching through walls, and kicking down doors. It is not easy being someone else. 

Edited by Bill “Papa” Lee
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11 hours ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

I have not even been able to attend Church in months, I never feel strong enough to go with my wife to the store. If I do get out, I feel humiliated using motorized carts. 
 

PaPa... get in the darn cart and get out and about for a change... It will make you feel better actually.   I'm 78 (79 in Dec.) and my arthritis has caused me to often be unstable and unable to walk long distances in the supermarket, even with the cane I now have to use most of the time... so, I'm thankful for the carts because they allow me to maintain my independence and shop on my own and not have to call on one of my ward sisters to haul me to the store and shop for me... THAT'S what is humiliating to me.  I don't have the blessing of family to help me... I'm totally alone here.  Like the other day I had to have some minor surgery on my back that required the bandages to be changed twice a day...  Since I couldn't do it myself,  I chose to do it once a day because I had to have my neighbor come in and make the change... thank goodness she is a good friend also and was glad to help me... otherwise I would have had to call in one of my ministering sisters to come in to help me (I live about 6 miles south of town so it's not easy to get here).  THAT'S HUMILIATING... every time I can't do something, I have to call in someone to help... be thankful you are not alone...

As always, my prayers will go forward...

GG

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Papa, hopefully this is just a slump and you'll be up and about soon. But if not, yes, like GG said, use whatever is available to help you retain stability in your life.

When my dad had to go on disability because of his back and legs, he didn't want to, the doctor said you can't work because it's killing you. My dad would come home drenched in sweat because of the pain he was in at his job. He eventually gave in and quit the job, and my mom worked. It was killer on my dad's ego and he fell into a deep depression.

I remember coming home from high school and he'd be sitting in his chair playing solitaire on his previously used architect board. It was horrible! But eventually he got out of the rut and found things to do that wouldn't be too painful. He liked making meals, like homemade soup. He started crocheting chairs while sitting, he'd scour DI's for old lawn chairs with the webbing and then peel those off and on it crocheted cool designs with the heavy guage yarn. I still have a half finished chair he was working on when he died of a heart attack.

So I believe I understand how men's egos are, and how hard this must be for you. Is there a hobby you could look into that would work? Of course your grandkids are your life, maybe focus on them and what is doable with them? But hate that I'm giving advice when I really don't do what I can do in life, even being able bodied. 

 

Edited by Tacenda
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My heart goes out to you Papa.  All those feelings are relevant to you and happy to be a part of this board to acknowledge those feelings.

Though not a member, it is my understanding that the new "administering and/or ministering program is to help others and this is there  calling..  Do not be ashamed to ask for help as it is by their ministering that THEY reap joy.  Try and get out ...even for a ride.  You have many talents I am sure that are not dormant by your health problems. 

I will pray for you...I remember my Dad just being so angry when they took his license away and he could no longer drive..I understand those feelings.

Will send hope and some positive feelings your way with hope that you can find a ray of sunlight in the days ahead.  Let church come to you..in your heart and the desires of it.

 

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19 hours ago, rpn said:

or maybe until I learn to be grateful for motorized carts, and that I can sit upright in one?  (said with the utmost respect)  Why would needing help leave one feeling "humiliated"?

Probably also vanity, I am only 62. I thought I would still be working at this age. 

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9 minutes ago, Jeanne said:

My heart goes out to you Papa.  All those feelings are relevant to you and happy to be a part of this board to acknowledge those feelings.

Though not a member, it is my understanding that the new "administering and/or ministering program is to help others and this is there  calling..  Do not be ashamed to ask for help as it is by their ministering that THEY reap joy.  Try and get out ...even for a ride.  You have many talents I am sure that are not dormant by your health problems. 

 

I have spent all my life, extending such charity to others, always there to help. I find it almost unbearable to receive charity from others, and I know it is just vanity and pride. I am indeed my Father’s son, in this respect. 

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1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

Papa, hopefully this is just a slump and you'll be up and about soon. But if not, yes, like GG said, use whatever is available to help you retain stability in your life.

When my dad had to go on disability because of his back and legs, he didn't want to, the doctor said you can't work because it's killing you. My dad would come home drenched in sweat because of the pain he was in at his job. He eventually gave in and quit the job, and my mom worked. It was killer on my dad's ego and he fell into a deep depression.

I remember coming home from high school and he'd be sitting in his chair playing solitaire on his previously used architect board. It was horrible! But eventually he got out of the rut and found things to do that wouldn't be too painful. He liked making meals, like homemade soup. He started crocheting chairs while sitting, he'd scour DI's for old lawn chairs with the webbing and then peel those off and on it crocheted cool designs with the heavy guage yarn. I still have a half finished chair he was working on when he died of a heart attack.

So I believe I understand how men's egos are, and how hard this must be for you. Is there a hobby you could look into that would work? Of course your grandkids are your life, maybe focus on them and what is doable with them? But hate that I'm giving advice when I really don't do what I can do in life, even being able bodied. 

 

It is true, ego makes up a large part of every man’s life. It is what drives us to excel, and bend our worlds to our will. My life (until May 21, 2012, when a car accident broke my back, was always a very physical and demanding one. Heavy Construction, U.S. Army, and Law-Enforcement, now it is sooooo small, and so mentally difficult. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/3/2019 at 7:18 PM, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

I have just spent my whole life, punching through walls, and kicking down doors. It is not easy being someone else. 

 

Amen Brother. This is how we learn humility. My left shoulder stopped working. It is making everything difficult. There isn't a lot of use for a one armed carpenter but I keep struggling along. Then I got tendonitis in my left leg and it is super painful, I don't know how long this will last. To top it off we are trapped in our marina, the El Nino storms last winter burried us. We have a dredger but it's taking forever to get it running so we can't sail out of here. I don't know what we are going to do, our investment isn't worth 2 cents here. The other day i fell in the parking lot of Vons and knocked my wife over. She hurt her leg pretty bad. I wonder how it's going to be 10 years from now with no children to take care of us and living on SS. Fun times!

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20 minutes ago, rodheadlee said:

 

Amen Brother. This is how we learn humility. My left shoulder stopped working. It is making everything difficult. There isn't a lot of use for a one armed carpenter but I keep struggling along. Then I got tendonitis in my left leg and it is super painful, I don't know how long this will last. To top it off we are trapped in our marina, the El Nino storms last winter burried us. We have a dredger but it's taking forever to get it running so we can't sail out of here. I don't know what we are going to do, our investment isn't worth 2 cents here. The other day i fell in the parking lot of Vons and knocked my wife over. She hurt her leg pretty bad. I wonder how it's going to be 10 years from now with no children to take care of us and living on SS. Fun times!

Like me, Rod... I have rotator cup problems and went through some physical therapy that helps, but the pain always comes back.  I can barely lift my arm without feeling the pain so I know exactly what you go through... the good thing is that Medicare pays for physical therapy so between that and supplemental insurance I don't have out-of-pocket expenses... I now have a woman come in to help me clean... also because at age 78 I can no longer climb ladders the way I used to (or onto countertops to wipe light bulbs, etc etc).  I do get frustrated because I have always done everything myself... including outside, like cleaning the gutters, the yard etc... I bought a single story little house so not to have stairs to climb... I'm truly blessed because I do have everything I need and am able to be independent (with a little help).   I don't know what I'll do when I can no longer drive.. that will be the real test.  When my car was in the repair shop (after I had a fender bender that was my fault), I had to call someone to take me to the store, Church, etc.  Drove me crazy...

I'm sorry Patti was hurt... and hope you will both ask for a blessing... You are in my prayers...

GG  

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30 minutes ago, Garden Girl said:

Like me, Rod... I have rotator cup problems and went through some physical therapy that helps, but the pain always comes back.  I can barely lift my arm without feeling the pain so I know exactly what you go through... the good thing is that Medicare pays for physical therapy so between that and supplemental insurance I don't have out-of-pocket expenses... I now have a woman come in to help me clean... also because at age 78 I can no longer climb ladders the way I used to (or onto countertops to wipe light bulbs, etc etc).  I do get frustrated because I have always done everything myself... including outside, like cleaning the gutters, the yard etc... I bought a single story little house so not to have stairs to climb... I'm truly blessed because I do have everything I need and am able to be independent (with a little help).   I don't know what I'll do when I can no longer drive.. that will be the real test.  When my car was in the repair shop (after I had a fender bender that was my fault), I had to call someone to take me to the store, Church, etc.  Drove me crazy...

I'm sorry Patti was hurt... and hope you will both ask for a blessing... You are in my prayers...

GG  

Thanks! Have you ever tried Lyft when you needed a ride? It worked out pretty good for us coming down the coast. They don't have where we are now.

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39 minutes ago, rodheadlee said:

Thanks! Have you ever tried Lyft when you needed a ride? It worked out pretty good for us coming down the coast. They don't have where we are now.

I don't think we have it here... I'm friends with my neighbor, and have "ministering" sisters who have helped me... our ward is terrific, so I have only to make a call and help is there.  Thankfully I'm still independent 90+ % of the time... I'll be 79 next month, and then one more year until age 80!!!  Yikes...  The trouble is, my old bod may be falling apart, but my spirit still feels like my late 40's...

For people who have been independent like PaPa, you, me...  we find these years really difficult...

GG

Edited by Garden Girl
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