Is confidentiality important here?

[MustardSeed]

What’s protocol when you realize you know someone’s identity? I don’t want to be known here.  I assume most don’t but sometimes people offer very detailed info here about their lives and, well, the church is pretty small. 😕

[Calm]

You are not allowed to share any personal info here the person does not share themselves.  If you see anything like that, report it and it should get deleted, but it might take some time.

What goes on elsewhere if someone makes a connection is out of mods' control, of course, but if it is harassment, I would complain with some evidence of what is going on if possible and that might get them banned, but that is probably not much deterrent for those so inclined.

I don't care if people who know me refer to things they learn elsewhere, I just ask them not to use my name out of respect for my daughter's wishes of privacy (her anxiety takes her to stalking scenarios, but not as much as they used to thankfully).  Not that hard to figure out anyway.

As far as if you know someone, there is no need for you to tell them.  Someone might try to make contact with you privately, I would ignore them if it felt uncomfortable or say something about you are not interested in discussing possible connections offline.

Edited April 22, 2019 by Calm

[MustardSeed]

Thanks.  I feel I may have a strange unfair position if I know who someone is, but that they don’t “know” that I know who they are.  Especially if we are engaging each other in conversation on the board.  I’ve considered finding another board. 

[bluebell]

4 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

Thanks.  I feel I may have a strange unfair position if I know who someone is, but that they don’t “know” that I know who they are.  Especially if we are engaging each other in conversation on the board.  I’ve considered finding another board. 

If it’s me you know, I’d be fine you knowing me and me not knowing you know. I hope you don’t go!

[The Nehor]

I believe the formal protocol is to begin a campaign of blackmail but I am not a mod.

 

 

 

or am I???

Edited April 23, 2019 by The Nehor

[Tacenda]

This happened to me, and I PM'd the person and said who I was and chickened out and quickly edited out my name. But mentioned people we both knew etc. lived in their neighborhood and ward at one time many years ago, but everything is fine. I'm sure it changed our postings somewhat.

Edited April 23, 2019 by Tacenda

[Maidservant]

I have my picture and links to my outside projects; talk about my home town.  No secrets.  I don't know anyone here outside of here, or if I do, I don't know it.  I think @Okrahomer and I are related though 😜.  Way back.

[MustardSeed]

I would like to use my pic but I at one time had questions that involved people I love so I have to maintain privacy.  😕 

sometimes people use fake names but then offer lots of personal and identifying info - it’s a very small community, this church, and tightly knit.  I’d suggest if anyone needs confidentiality to be mindful of that fact.  

I promise to be ethical about this. 

[Calm]

You can ask the mods to delete those threads if it concerns you (iirc you started those threads).  Not sure if they will do it given others posted, but it may help you feel a bit more comfortable.

[Calm]

If the detailed posts were quoted, you could also go back and rewrite them to remove details like specific ages or gender (use "them" instead of "him" or "her" kind of thing).

If you go into your profile and click"see activity", that pulls up all your posts so you can scan through them, though they don't show the whole post.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

23 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

What’s protocol when you realize you know someone’s identity? I don’t want to be known here.  I assume most don’t but sometimes people offer very detailed info here about their lives and, well, the church is pretty small. 😕

I can understand the desire to remain unknown, I use my name and speak openly of my views, where I live etc. I do so to keep me honest, so that I do not appear to be of two opinions. 

[3DOP]

1003 N. 2nd Street, St. Marys, KS. 60635. The only thing I disdain more than safety is privacy. All these stupid usernames and passwords. My old job began with me writing down my hours and turning them in. It ended with passwords that changed every three months because somebody might access my information. What information? How many hours I worked? Go ahead. Knock yourself out discovering how many hours I worked. What do I care if somebody learns when I work? 

So I figured out how to set my password so I could log in faster. These young guys go crazy. Somebody could get in to your account! My what? The times of day that I start and stop working? Why are the young so afraid of trivial information about themselves being found out? Again, the stupidest decade, of the stupidest century....imho. Heh.

I live in Kansas. Do you want my address? Oh wait...you already have it. Enjoy. All of this secret information was public when I grew up. 

 Rory McKenzie

 

 

 

[Calm]

I think men may have a different perspective than most women on this.  Even in my youth, we females were taught to be cautious.  Stalkers where the victims were assaulted or killed are generally reported as female.  I can't remember any stalker incident with a male victim that ended in a physical attack.  Anyone know of any?

[Tacenda]

31 minutes ago, Calm said:

I think men may have a different perspective than most women on this.  Even in my youth, we females were taught to be cautious.  Stalkers where the victims were assaulted or killed are generally reported as female.  I can't remember any stalker incident with a male victim that ended in a physical attack.  Anyone know of any?

I worked at a food/gas station. My name and number was posted on the wall for the manager. Then I started receiving phone call after phone call with vile comments to me. I called the phone company as well, to get help. I was only around 19 and living on my own. One night I arrived home to see a ladder put upside the manufactured home. It was my dad's rental property and he let me rent it from him. The ladder was put up and the stalker was able to look into a little window at the top. It was an older mobile home. He apparently was all set up to window peek. But I must have drove up before he had a chance to see anything, and he took off. Scariest thing I've ever had to deal with. 

[Calm]

1 hour ago, Tacenda said:

I worked at a food/gas station. My name and number was posted on the wall for the manager. Then I started receiving phone call after phone call with vile comments to me. I called the phone company as well, to get help. I was only around 19 and living on my own. One night I arrived home to see a ladder put upside the manufactured home. It was my dad's rental property and he let me rent it from him. The ladder was put up and the stalker was able to look into a little window at the top. It was an older mobile home. He apparently was all set up to window peek. But I must have drove up before he had a chance to see anything, and he took off. Scariest thing I've ever had to deal with. 

That would be terrifying.

[MustardSeed]

I’m not placing or inviting judgements about anyone who chooses anonymity or transparency.  There are truly legit reasons for both. ❤️

[let’s roll]

I’ve shared some information about myself in posts when I thought that information provided helpful context or where experiences provided illustrations of a concept or principle.

I’m not adamant about anonymity, but do believe that sometimes people are able to be more dispassionate in evaluating the merits of a thought or idea when all they have to evaluate is the thought or idea, not the messenger.  

It’s not always essential to be dispassionate, but it’s typically helpful.