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Super tragic story about a LDS teen suicide


bsjkki

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I read this story this morning in the Deseret News and saw it again tonight. Such a tragic suicide. Our teens face issues that were non existent when I was growing up. This poor family. It is very brave of them to share their story in hopes of helping others. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6877443/Utah-teen-commits-suicide-blackmailed-mystery-woman-Ivory-Coast.html

https://www.deseretnews.com/article/900063495/uncovering-secret-that-led-to-sons-suicide-utah-family-shares-story-sextortion.html

"Randy submitted the phone to the Sheriff’s office, later discovering a social media app had been downloaded to his phone, and a woman – or someone posing as a woman – had goaded the minor into sending an explicit video of himself.Believed to be based on the Ivory Coast, the anonymous predator then used the video against Tevan, demanding he send money to ‘her’, unless he wanted his family and friends to view the images. Detective John Pierce (pictured left) said the scammer’s methods are some of the most manipulative he's ever seen, calling them 'relentless' After Tevan told the scammer he didn’t have any more money left to give, the exchanges took an even more sinister turn, and the 16-year-old was urged to kill himself."

Edited by bsjkki
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I shared this article yesterday on FB. It's gut wrenching that this young man felt so much shame and was afraid to tell anyone what he'd done and believed the creep that he needed to end his life or have the photo shared to his family/friends. This young man was so afraid of disappointing everyone, poor guy and his loved ones. 

As I read through this article, it mentions that this is happening everywhere. The youth are too young to understand that they have a long time to live and everyone makes mistakes. Yet it's so in the forefront of everything, their mistake, that they then take their lives.

I hope the perps are caught even if it's out of the country. I hope they can pinpoint who's doing this, heck, they found Osama Bin Laden! 

ETA: Just read a post on reddit. I hope this isn't true, if so, then BYU is contributing to this shame problem. I hope someone in the know, will tell me that this isn't a normal thing to do to these students!

Here's the quote:

"As a student, feeling extremely guilty, I self-reported my “crime” of looking at pornography and “going too far” with my girlfriend at the time. They asked probing questions and decided I needed counseling and were “lenient” because I reported myself. I received a registration block for a semester. It’s clear now that the mark on my record will follow me forever. I attended grad school and am in a professional occupation, so every time I’ve had to apply to a school or licensure, I’ve needed to explain this gap in my transcript and honor code violation. The discussion is extremely embarrassing and the person I’ve talked to seems embarrassed for me every time I explain that the mark on my record was due to normal, legal behavior for most normal 20 year olds in college.

How is this forgiveness? Where is the mercy here? This “mistake” is supposed to follow me forever? The “repentance” process is clearly not applicable to the HCO. I’m glad that the Instagram account is bringing this to light. I hope more people share their stories- I know my case isn’t nearly as severe as others. If you’ve been shamed or been made to feel like less of a person by the HCO, just know you’re not alone out there and that the truth about their practices is coming to light hopefully."

Edited by Tacenda
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I have no words and can't believe I had to talk to my kids last night about not letting strangers threaten them like this.  I actually dealt with a scammer from the Ivory Coast. I strung him along and when his plan didn't work, he decided to become a woman and change his name. Too lazy to make a new account. Another scammer wanted an iTunes card and gave me his real email after keeping his hopes up for two months. I found his FB account and after he was banned and came back with a new name, I posted his real photos to him. Now that an innocent kid has died, I'm more determined than ever to ruin them. Disgusting that they can't be extradited. 

My brother arrested a spoiled rich kid (well, technically an adult) who was sextorting teenage girls on FB. After he arrested him, he kept finding more victims and came in to charge him with more crimes. He snapped, "Is this going to keep happening?!" My brother said, "I don't know. You tell me!" 

I would seriously love to work undercover. I want to catch scumbags too! 

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33 minutes ago, bluebell said:

I read that article last night. It’s so tragic, especially how it all happened in just two weeks time. Two weeks. 

TWO WEEKS?! That's so terrifying. :( 

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We need to teach our children that individuals asking for their picture - of any kind - should immediately be blocked and identified to a parent or a trusted adult. They need to understand how badly it can turn out if they succumb to pressure and feel they need to release a photo or video of themselves to others - specifically, on the internet, no one with good intentions ever asks for such a thing. They need to understand what a sexual predator is and how they work - in real life and on the internet. Families must have rules on how they will use all forms of media - strangers on the internet are never welcome at any time. 

The poverty of Africa entices many individuals to take dark paths as a way to make a living. African scams are countless.  

Edited by Storm Rider
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2 hours ago, Tacenda said:

I shared this article yesterday on FB. It's gut wrenching that this young man felt so much shame and was afraid to tell anyone what he'd done and believed the creep that he needed to end his life or have the photo shared to his family/friends. This young man was so afraid of disappointing everyone, poor guy and his loved ones. 

As I read through this article, it mentions that this is happening everywhere. The youth are too young to understand that they have a long time to live and everyone makes mistakes. Yet it's so in the forefront of everything, their mistake, that they then take their lives.

I hope the perps are caught even if it's out of the country. I hope they can pinpoint who's doing this, heck, they found Osama Bin Laden! 

ETA: Just read a post on reddit. I hope this isn't true, if so, then BYU is contributing to this shame problem. I hope someone in the know, will tell me that this isn't a normal thing to do to these students!

Here's the quote:

"As a student, feeling extremely guilty, I self-reported my “crime” of looking at pornography and “going too far” with my girlfriend at the time. They asked probing questions and decided I needed counseling and were “lenient” because I reported myself. I received a registration block for a semester. It’s clear now that the mark on my record will follow me forever. I attended grad school and am in a professional occupation, so every time I’ve had to apply to a school or licensure, I’ve needed to explain this gap in my transcript and honor code violation. The discussion is extremely embarrassing and the person I’ve talked to seems embarrassed for me every time I explain that the mark on my record was due to normal, legal behavior for most normal 20 year olds in college.

How is this forgiveness? Where is the mercy here? This “mistake” is supposed to follow me forever? The “repentance” process is clearly not applicable to the HCO. I’m glad that the Instagram account is bringing this to light. I hope more people share their stories- I know my case isn’t nearly as severe as others. If you’ve been shamed or been made to feel like less of a person by the HCO, just know you’re not alone out there and that the truth about their practices is coming to light hopefully."

I appreciate the comment on BYU and their honor code enforcement but would rather we don’t go down that rabbit hole on this thread. Thanks Tacenda! Guilt, shame and fear...sad

I can’t take my own advice because this story is certainly true. Every time my son applies to new colleges he has to explain his BYU Idaho honor code violation record. It is awful! They think it’s for cheating or illegal activity. It is terrible.

Edited by bsjkki
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Related subject:  yesterday I read an article about a British study showing that air pollution affects suicide rates.   Hoping SLC understands that more than just breathing is calling it to fix this environmental issue.

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I researched a study on suicide rates done in SLC that showed significant correlation to pollution based on location as well as higher rates.

Edited by Calm
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18 hours ago, MorningStar said:

I would seriously love to work undercover. I want to catch scumbags too! 

How can you work undercover if you spend all your time in bed?  :D 

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On 4/3/2019 at 2:59 PM, Calm said:

I researched a study on suicide rates done in SLC that showed significant correlation to pollution based on location as well as higher rates.

Suicide has also been associated with altitude. 

Could living at high altitude increase suicide risk? Evidence suggests possible treatments, reports Harvard Review of Psychiatry

"The highest suicide rates were clustered in the intermountain states: Arizona, Colorado, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Utah, and Wyoming. (Alaska and Virginia also had high suicide rates.) In a 2014 study, the percentage of adults with "serious thoughts of suicide" ranged from 3.3 percent in Connecticut (average altitude 490 feet) to 4.9 percent in Utah (average altitude 6,100 feet)." 

 

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