I'm changing, I feel as if part of the old me is coming back.

[poptart]

Was greeted today, the first day of the Spring semester to snow and the cold that goes with it.  Felt something I had not known for years, ever since my father pulled what he did and went out of his way to destroy mom and myself, I could feel life from the natural world around me.  Always had that close, intimate feeling of the natural world, that feeling that the world is a living breathing thing and that we're part of it.  For once in a long time I looked around me at the trees and geese and could feel the yearning for the equinox, Ostra and the rebirth of life that happens in the Spring.  Was almost as if I could hear mother nature herself saying good morning.

 

Edited January 23, 2019 by poptart

[Calm]

2 hours ago, poptart said:

I could feel life from the natural world around me.

Feels good, doesn't it when you wake up again.  I hope it happens often for you and never goes away.

I took a drug for three years that likely put me into a low level depression (Canada, I love you, but your doctors screwed me up big time).

After I came off of it (moved to the States, got on one that worked), I was taking a shower and suddenly realized I was enjoying the feel of water on my skin...something I have always loved and didn't realize I had lost.  It was as if I had been bubble wrapped for three years.  

Sometimes I wish I could have retained that moment of overwhelming sensation which was such a little thing, but so massive.  Now it is just another of those nice, little moments.  

Getting in the warm pool at physical therapy is still ecstasy though.

Edited January 23, 2019 by Calm

[Jeanne]

I feel you poptart...I hope you can always go back to these kind of moments and realization.  It doesn't happen enough for me...but you have brought that feeling close to home and I thank you for that.