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5 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Gaslighting our Investigator

Once in the street my companion and I were at an appointment with a man who had had little to drink beforehand and clearly was not getting much out of it. He asked what the name of the church was and one of us (I don’t remember which) responded: “The Church if Cheese and Rice of Rattle-Day Snakes” After that we continued to sort of teach but worked the name of the church into every sentence we could and continually gave it that name. He kept looking confused and you could see him thinking we were not actually saying what he thought he heard.

Finally he got frustrated and said in a halting voice: Stop talking about cheese and rice. You are making me hungry.

Nazi Missionary

When I was a very green missionary I spent a lot of time working with another missionary who was not my actual companion. He was from Germany and had been out 4 months and thought he was amazing and was a prideful fit. To be fair I was also a prideful git.

One day he took me to task for something (do not remember what, might have deserved it) and added that I was not showing proper respect to his senior comanion status and experience. As he was ranting in his strong German accent I shifted to a military attention stance. When he stopped I did the Nazi salute and yelled loudly “Heil Hitler!!!” I then turned with military precision and started Nazi marching away. Next thing I knew he tackled me and tried to kill me while I was laughing. The other two missionaries had to pull him off me.

I am not proud of that but I cannot say I wish I had not done it because it is one of my favorite mission stories.


I was in a four missionary district and we got home for the night. The District Leader had half-jokingly instituted accountability in the evening to help train everyone for leadership. An elder from Spain with a choppy grasp of English was to hold me accountable this evening. It was a P-Day and we had all been together all day. He very seriously grabbed two chairs and put them in the center of the living and formally invited me to sit down. I did and he pulled out a notebook and pen and began:

”Elder, how many people did you date for baptism today?”


(sardonically disappointed) “None...............(he then leaped to his feet and threw the chair he was in behind him and started screaming) WHAT the HELL are you doing out there? Why do you fail Elder?”

I started laughing “Elder, it was a P-Day and we did not see any investigators.”

He got directly in my face: “Oh esscuses.........esscuses, are you going to try that in front of God too?

Ahhhhh......good times.

To the first two, things never change! ;) 

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On 2/9/2018 at 10:28 PM, Stargazer said:

I got sent by my employer to Austin, Texas for training this one time, and since the airline didn't fly direct to Austin, but stopped in Dallas-Fort Worth, I was on the airplane when additional passengers boarded for the leg to Austin. This woman sits next to me, and even though I was open to socializing a little, just for fellowship's sake, she seemed to take a hard line of not even so much as noticing that I was there. Most people would at least say Hi or just nod an acknowledgement, but nothing. I thought this was a little odd, but whatever.

Just as the airplane was descending to land, suddenly she got chatty.  Without much of a preamble, she started telling me all about how she operated a night club in Salt Lake City, and complained about how "the Mormons" were trying to drive her out of the state, but by golly she wasn't going to let them do it.  I felt a little taken aback by this sudden volubility, and by the subject matter, but not wanting to make her as uncomfortable as she was making me by informing her that she was sitting next to a "Mormon", I just nodded and said "umm" from time to time so she didn't feel like she was addressing a ventriloquist's dummy.  I have to admit I thought it was rather amusing, though.  

Did I do right, you think?  I've been wondering for some time if I should have spoken up.

I commend you for kind of staying mum on the whole thing.

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