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Wish me luck: and, are most wards likely to have wheelchairs?


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A friend I have mentioned before thinks he wants to attend Easter Sunday at his nearby LDS chapel.

If I will take him.

I'm agreeing to do so. He is in poor health, emotionally and physically and I expect will beg off on Sunday and not go. He has said many times that he WANTS to go, but has backed out.

He has been a Baptist pastor years ago but his health does not permit him to pastor now.

And he has become oddly interested in faiths other than the Baptist in recent years, attending a Christian Science church once in awhile because he prefers the traditional style of worship more than the contemporary worship most Baptists use these days. 

He does not get out a whole lot.He has had an LDS nurse as part of his home health team until recently, when she changed services. Her presence in his life led him to talk to me a good deal about Mormonism and now he wants to see an LDS worship service.

It would be easiest to help him in and out if the ward has a wheelchair. Most churches around here keep one tucked away, but I don't know the practice of LDS wards: is it the same?

Thanks!

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Not usually in my experience unless they are really tucked away somewhere.  People who need wheelchairs generally bring their own.  There are places for wheelchairs to sit usually at the end of the main section of pews.  

If the church doesn't have one, Rental for wheelchairs is about $10-20 daily here locally so perhaps not too expensive where you are?   many pharmacies or medical homecare supply rent them out.  

I have found for my mom that a nice gel pad seat really increases the comfort.

Very kind of you to even consider doing this

Edited by Calm
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That's awesome!  I've never seen wheelchairs in our buildings unless someone brought one themselves and is using it.  :)

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My ward happens to have a wheelchair available... kept in a custodian's closet so it's available if needed.  

Also, on Sunday mornings on BYU-TV on both DISH and Direct TV there is a LDS "Worship Service" televised... followed by Music & the Spoken Word with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir with its lovely music and uplifting and encouraging message.  If he has either of these two satellite services he can tune in to that and many other enjoyable LDS and family centered programming... if that's what he's curious about.  Then there are the LDS websites online... of course it is my hope that he will attend in person, using either his walker or a wheelchair... in person is always the best...

GG

Edited by Garden Girl
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Somehow I thought THIS SUNDAY was Easter but it is a week away yet. LoL!

In any case, the outing is yet a bit up in the air. My friend spent some time in hospital today for a minor panic attack. There are positive things he should be doing that he has trouble maintaining, so he has scares like this rather often.

Have suggested to him to invite his former Mormon nurse and her husband to meet us at this chapel, since he has a sort of farewell gift for her to thank her for the good home care she gave him over the year he had her. He liked that suggestion. 

We'll see how things go.

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So I went to Sacrament Meeting today. At what would be my own local LDS chapel, not the one neareat my friend.

Told him about it. He tripped over the thought.

Apparently he thought they would run me out with pitchforks. He asked a lot of questions.

Anyhow it turns out that his doctor suggestes after his lateat health spell that a nurse check on him on weekends for a few weeks till they can stabilize him.

That's why he doubts he can make it to worship next week, and it bums him a bit b/c of Easter. He wants to go somewhere but right now he's pretty housebound.

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He is not an LDS member.

As per my OP he is a retired Baptist pastor with marked emotional and physical issues.

He has been getting frustrated with the Baptist churches because most of them are using contemporary worship and contemporary music-- and modern translations of the Bible.  As a resulylt he has been goig to a Christian Science church for its worship aesthetics.

We've known each other for a total of 25 years, 16 years consecutively, and he has known me when I was LDS.

He knows the Mormon Church is conservative in its hymody, it's worship style, and uses the KJV bible. He has never managed to attend an LDS service but keeps bringing up his desire to do so one day.

He's had contact with Missionaries but that doesn't work out really well. He is prone to mood swings and outbursts and frequently he pushes people away because of this. He was really fond of one set of Mishiesand brings them up once in awhile.

I kep pointing out, "LDS Missionaries go out for two years at a time: it's been ten years since you met Elders X and Y. They're not only off their missions but they've graduated BYU, married, and have kids by now".

But, he still brings up the desire to go to an LDS worship service. And still begs off when I make time to offer to take him.

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I have no working short term memory and was fitting in my reading between bursts of unexpected visitors so should not have hit send before I doublechecked, but I did.

I can't access youtube videos on my ipad so I will try and get the link later, but there is a description of what to expect at an LDS meeting available there.  It might work even without sound to give him some idea.  It would appear from google that someone has recorded some as well...against the rules and of course it is not the same thing as experiencing it especially without sound but if it would help the anxiety, he could watch one that you checked out as the real thing.

Also this...my ipad is old news too and can't always access regular websites for some reason so not sure if it is video or just text:

http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/what-to-expect-at-church-services

My daughter has had to deal with anxiety and panic attacks in the past.  Not so severe as to put her in the hospital, but ones that interefered with her life.  I have had several anxiety attacks myself in the past before my sleep disorder was diagnosed where I ended up hiding in the closet or some such thing thinking I was going to die (I noticed taking high doses of magnesuim at night and calcium/mag during the day had the unexpected effect of taking care of my panic attacks...I like to take more mag than cal, seems to help me more, sometimes end up having to take a bit of Imodium to handle the laxative effect of magnesium, but it is well worth the help with anxiety, sleep, and now neuropathy in my feet).

Back to my daughter who we know had bonafide panic attacks....I would highly recommend ACT or mindfulness therapy. It did wonders for her, though it also got her to the point she was willing to try medication and the combination worked best.  She describes it as giving her control over intrusive thoughts that would put her into a hamster wheel of anxiety as well as helping calm the out of the blue panic that occurs with those attacks until they passed.  There is quite a bit of information online he could read and if he ever updates his computer, my own therapist recommends a video called "leaves on a stream" that helps with a technique for standing back from one's thoughts to gain control of negative emotional content.  My daughter uses the imagery of cars driving by. The basic idea is you visualize sending the thoughts off on a circular trip (on leaves in a stream or cars on a highway or whatever works for you) where you know you will only need to deal with them when you choose to.  I have yet to develop the habit, a thyroid supplement dropped my anxiety level way down and I have been too lazy to work on it even though I should.  I need to figure out something that does the same thing without movement because for some reason visualising stuff moving makes me dizzy these days, maybe I can try a fading effect.

There are an explosion of sites on this out there, some more new age than cognitive therapy, as it has become quite popular (Psychology Today has a good article on it for info).   I will try and find the sites recommended by my therapist as the best ones (think I have posted them before) if you would like.

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Calm:

This guy's under care, for some twenty-five years. He pushes back, savagely, if he perceives someone "meddling". It is part of his condition. I don't want to go much further on this just now.

I did speak to the bishop at the ward we would visit. They used to have a wheelchair: but amidst multiple ward restructures, it went missing.

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Sounds wise.  Everyone is different, you need to work with their limits.

I got scolded a while back for not sharing some health info (thyroid)with a family member who might have figured out what was wrong with himself earlier, but I just assumed it was hitting the females of the family.  Now I am really being 'generous ' with info just in case it might help. :)

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On 3/20/2016 at 4:55 PM, flameburns623 said:

So I went to Sacrament Meeting today. At what would be my own local LDS chapel, not the one neareat my friend.

Told him about it. He tripped over the thought.

Apparently he thought they would run me out with pitchforks. He asked a lot of questions.

Anyhow it turns out that his doctor suggestes after his lateat health spell that a nurse check on him on weekends for a few weeks till they can stabilize him.

That's why he doubts he can make it to worship next week, and it bums him a bit b/c of Easter. He wants to go somewhere but right now he's pretty housebound.

I laughed out loud like a loon at that one!  I haven't checked the member's closet lately, but last time I looked it seemed that someone must have borrowed all our pitchforks!  :diablo:

Say, flameburns, could you please tell me what the 623 signifies (if it's significant, that is).  I keep thinking it must be a scriptural reference of some kind, but for all I know it might just be your birthday (you know, June 23?). :D

Edited by Stargazer
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2 hours ago, Stargazer said:

I laughed out loud like a loon at that one!  I haven't checked the member's closet lately, but last time I looked it seemed that someone must have borrowed all our pitchforks!  :diablo:

Say, flameburns, could you please tell me what the 623 signifies (if it's significant, that is).  I keep thinking it must be a scriptural reference of some kind, but for all I know it might just be your birthday (you know, June 23?). :D

I created my first e-mail address in order to create a home based business. Way back in the olden days of WebTV.

I was sternly advised never to use a real name or numbers relates to personal information on the Internet.

"Flameburns" is a play on my name. I even had a catchy slogan associated with the moniker.

"623" was an apartment number.

No, I never earned so much as a plugged nickel at that home-based business. Thank goodness I kept my day job.

But "flameburns623" has been me, ever since.

Edited by flameburns623
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12 hours ago, Calm said:

Sounds wise.  Everyone is different, you need to work with their limits.

I got scolded a while back for not sharing some health info (thyroid)with a family member who might have figured out what was wrong with himself earlier, but I just assumed it was hitting the females of the family.  Now I am really being 'generous ' with info just in case it might help. :)

My friend goes on tirades about Roman Catholicism every year around Christmas and Easter.

Really bad ones.

He goes on tirades about "cults" and on other stuff too, but the Catholic stuff gets a bit personal.

Irrational and not at all reason-based but still unpleasant. Then he sort of comes to himself and apologizes.

He is very intelligent over a wide range of subjects: but that breadth and erudition clash with the narrowness of his fundamentalist religious background. Certain stressors suddenly knock down his emotional filters and he will lash out in inappropriate ways 

My Catholic godfather, once also a longtime friend, went thru this with him for years and finally cut him off. And my wife doesn't know why I bother with the man.

I asked my own priest about this behavior 'way back when, in one of the few times I have availed myself of the modern option of face-to-face confession. (I usually prefer the traditional anonymous form).

My priest and I discussed this guy's mental health. He advised me: mental illness is often a very lonely ordeal because those afflicted drive others away. 

While no one should put up more with more than they can reasonably bear, so long as there is no physical threat, my priest urged that I should strive to remain this man's one stable friend. Recognizing that it is his illness talking and not who he is at heart.

This year, a few weeks back, my friend started asking about, how do the LDS celebrate Easter?

I expected one of the seasonal tirades to begin, but it turns out he is simply sad because the best home nurse he has had in awhile was this Mormon woman who is now working with a different agency than the one serving him.

He actually got excited about atrending an LDS service, before this latest health scare of his. Some of that antcipation probably is that as a former pastor he is used to getting out and seeing a lot of people. 

Anti-Catholicism did come up while contrasting the RCC with the LDS. I indicated that Mormons celebrate Easter in a more cheerful way than Catholics.

Somehow that brought up that James Talmage wrote a book critical of the RCC called The Great Apostasy; and that the original edition of Mormon Doctrine also had some anti-Catholic material. 

Today he went on an anti-Mormon tirade. I thought it was over me going to Sacrament Meeting on Sunday.

When he called and apologised, as he usually does, it turns out he was upset because he had mistakenly ordered one of the later editions of Mormon Doctrine, with the anti-Catholic material expunged. He was taking out on me his upset of not getting the item he had wanted.

That's this guy.

Edited by flameburns623
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1 hour ago, flameburns623 said:

I created my first e-mail address in order to create a home based business. Way back in the olden days of WebTV.

I was sternly advised never to use a real name or numbers relates to personal information on the Internet.

"Flameburns" is a play on my name. I even has a catchy slogan associated with the moniker.

"623" was an apartment number.

No, I never earned so much as a plugged nickel at that home-based business 

But "flameburns623" has been me, ever since.

Very good!  I'm known as "Cyberherbalist" everywhere else on the net (don't try cyberherbalist.com, it used to be mine but now its a link farm, more or less).  My real name is virtually anonymous because it's so common, but Cyberherbalist grew from an attempt to grow a web-based internet business -- that never made a cent either!  I originally signed up here with that moniker, but forgot all about it and in 2007 signed up again as Stargazer.  My current real business (a publishing house that has actually made a few cents) is called Prospect Avenue Books because our house is on, you guessed it, Prospect Avenue!

"Flameburns623" is pretty cool, by the way.  I also like your avatar -- smiling Jesus.  Telescopes are fine, but friendliness is not one of their attributes! :D  

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  • 3 weeks later...

My ward is purging its library and discarded a full cassette binder of LDS hymns with lyrics. I assume most are sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

I am passing these off to my friend, who is ecstatic to receive them. First, he loves old hymnody, second he loves thr MTC.

His former nurse called him out of the blue and they chatted for forty minutes about the Church. Upshot of that is, he invited her and her husband to let him know if they happened to be in his neighborhood some time and he'd ask a friend (referring to me) to take him to the nearby LDS church. I was surprised to hear that he extended such an invite; but since she and her family live almost an hour away, this may be one of those polite invitations which never go anywhere and were never really meant to.

Except that he is suddenly between (Baptist) churches after a difference of opinion over something. He is, unhappily, going to start attending a church he has never fully liked because of its blend of contemporary with traditional worship. 

I am doubtful my friend will make a good investigator, short of a tremendous amount of study and prayer. On the Five Point Calvinism scale, my friend is a six-point Calvinist. But he is in an interesting place spiritually right now and God has changed harder hearts.

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