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I would like to open up a thread as a repository for Gospel-related comforts for the broken-hearted and especially for victims of violent crime.  I think this might be helpful because I am guessing it is not a subject that is frequently addressed in gospel writings or in books written for LDS audiences.

 

So, please share what you have!

 

Have you found comfort through such trials (or trials of those close to you) in the scriptures or gospel-centered literature?  Have you wrestled out of the darkness building on your testimony as you've done so?  Please share your insights.

 

For me, I lean on the belief that Christ suffered our pains, including the pain of the innocent. 

 

Here's the two scriptures which come to my mind first and foremost:

 

Revelation 21:4

 

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."

 

Doctrine and Covenants 122: 7-8

 

"And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good

 

The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?"

 

There are many times I've known of exceedingly great tragedies striking the innocent including people I know and care for, and recently I felt hit especially hard.  Perhaps this time it was because the parents of the victim are my age and I grew up in the same stake as them; what happened to them could have happened to me. But, I'm not particularly looking for this for myself but because, during this last time, I've seen requests for books for LDS audiences addressing such tragedies. I know that even if we don't have many books out, there are many who've passed through tragedy with the help of Jesus Christ and the gospel. I feel that eventually as they and others continue to work through their grief, resources catered to them may become helpful from time to time.

 

Thank you for your help.

 

 

 

 

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Elder Scott immediately came to mind when I read your post.  Many of his addresses would probably fit this topic.  Here are two that I thought of... both tend to talk more about abuse but I think that fits and his words can certainly be adapted to other situations of victimization:

 

Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse from 1992 --

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1992/04/healing-the-tragic-scars-of-abuse?lang=eng

 

To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse from 2008 --

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/to-heal-the-shattering-consequences-of-abuse?lang=eng

 

He'll be missed.

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Beauty for ashes...

A brother in our ward quoted this scripture during Fast and Testimony Meeting not long ago. He was speaking about his and his wife's broken hearts over the poor choices their teenaged daughter had made; and how she had been struggling to overcome the consequences; and the hope he and his wife had begun to feel for her. This is a wonderful scripture:

Isaiah 61:3

"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified."

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Beauty for ashes...

A brother in our ward quoted this scripture during Fast and Testimony Meeting not long ago. He was speaking about his and his wife's broken hearts over the poor choices their teenaged daughter had made; and how she had been struggling to overcome the consequences; and the hope he and his wife had begun to feel for her. This is a wonderful scripture:

Isaiah 61:3

"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified."

 

Elder Bruce C. Hafen wrote an article in the Ensign years ago using that verse as a springboard

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Elder Scott immediately came to mind when I read your post. Many of his addresses would probably fit this topic. Here are two that I thought of... both tend to talk more about abuse but I think that fits and his words can certainly be adapted to other situations of victimization:

Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse from 1992 --

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1992/04/healing-the-tragic-scars-of-abuse?lang=eng

To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse from 2008 --

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/to-heal-the-shattering-consequences-of-abuse?lang=eng

He'll be missed.
You're right. And just remembering his voice brings back the faith and solicitude of his speeches.

Thank you.

Edited by Meadowchik
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Beauty for ashes...

A brother in our ward quoted this scripture during Fast and Testimony Meeting not long ago. He was speaking about his and his wife's broken hearts over the poor choices their teenaged daughter had made; and how she had been struggling to overcome the consequences; and the hope he and his wife had begun to feel for her. This is a wonderful scripture:

Isaiah 61:3

"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified."

I've scattered ashes from our fireplace over the ground of our fruit saplings. That is some lovely imagery, thanks for sharing it. I hope those parents and their daughter find an increase of joy and peace. << I've seen it happen, there is hope! Edited by Meadowchik
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There is a great little booklet that should be in everyone's library, The Uses of Adversity by Carlfred Broderick.

 

I have read the book at least a dozen times.  It is just full of wisdom.  This might be of use.

 

In the second case I had a woman who came to me who was an incest victim—the victim of a terrible family. She was abused physically. Her mother was neurotic and stayed in bed all the time to get her daughter to do all the work, including taking care of the husband's needs when he was drunk. The daughter had been abused in about every way there was to be abused—psychologically, physically, sexually. Besides that she had to do all the housework. 
 
She was not a member of the Church at that time, although this happens to members of the Church also. In high school she met a young man who was a Latter-day Saint and who started taking her to church with him. Eventually they married. He was gentle and kind and patient because she didn't come with very many positive attitudes toward men, marital intimacy, or many other things. But he was long-suffering and patient and loved her. They raised some boys. 
 
Despite this, she had recurring bouts of depression and very negative feelings about herself because she had been taught by the people most important in her early life what a rotten person she was. It was hard for her to overcome that self-image. I worked with her to try to build her self-image. One day she said to me, "You're a stake president." She wasn't in my stake, but she said, "You're a stake president; you explain to me the justice of it." She said, "I go to church, and I can hardly stand it. When I see little girls being hugged and kissed and taken to church and appropriately loved by their fathers and mothers, I just have to get up and leave. I say, 'Heavenly Father, what was so terrible about me that, when I was that age, I didn't get any of that? What did that little girl do in the premortal existence that I didn't do so she is loved, so she is safe? Her daddy gives her priesthood blessings when she's sick. Her mother loves her and supports her and teaches her. What did I do? Can you tell me that God is just if He sends that little girl to that family and me to my family?" She said, "It's a good thing I had boys. I don't think I could have stood to raise girls and have their father love them because I'm so envious." 
 
I would not have known how to answer her in my own capacity because that is manifestly unjust. Where here or in eternity is the justice in an innocent child's suffering in that way? But the Lord inspired me to tell her, and I believe with all my heart that it applies to many in the kingdom, that she was a valiant Christlike spirit who volunteered (with, I told her, perhaps too much spiritual pride) to come to earth and suffer innocently to purify a lineage. She volunteered to absorb the poisoning of sin, anger, anguish, and violence, to take it into herself and not to pass it on; to purify a lineage so that downstream from her it ran pure and clean, full of love and the Spirit of the Lord and self-worth. I believed truly that her calling was to be a savior on Mount Zion: that is, to be Savior-like, like the Savior to suffer innocently that others might not suffer. She voluntarily took such a task with the promise she would not be left alone and abandoned, but He would send one to take her by the hand and be her companion out into the light. I viewed that woman in a different way also, again realizing I was in the presence of one of the great ones and unworthy to have my hands on her head. 
 
I think we do not understand the nature of ourselves. I think we do not understand who we are. Some people call the temple ordinances the "mysteries" of the kingdom. When I went to the temple, I thought I was going to learn which star was Kolob, where the Ten Tribes were, and other such information. But those aren't the mysteries of the kingdom; the mysteries of the kingdom are who we are, and who God is, and what our relationship to Him is. Those are the mysteries of the kingdom. You can tell somebody in plain English, but they still don't know in their hearts who they really are. 
(The Uses of Adversity by Carlfred Broderick)

 

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A post from Neil L Andersen showed up on my FB today, with a quote from a woman named Sally Mart. She said,

 

“I have come to the realization and conclusion, through the years that I have dealt with many issues, as have all of you, … it’s part of the human experience. … If we shrink from opportunities like this, no matter how painful they might be, we are denying the power of the Atonement in our life. My testimony of the Atonement is literally soaring! I am here to tell you that as the points of the refiner’s fire become higher and higher, the Lord Jesus Christ, through His atoning sacrifice for us, enables us to increase our spiritual vertical and rise above those flames.”

 

Here's the entire post: https://www.facebook.com/lds.neil.l.andersen/posts/493791294129410

Edited by Meadowchik
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Psalms 37:  1 Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou aenvious against the workers of iniquity.

  2 For they shall soon be acut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.
  3 aTrust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
  4 Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the adesires of thine heart.
  5 aCommit thy bway unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
  6 And he shall abring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
  7 Rest in the Lord, and wait apatiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
  8 aCease from banger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
  9 For evildoers shall be acut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the bearth.
  10 For yet a alittle while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.
  11 But the ameek shall inherit the bearth; and shall cdelight themselves in the abundance of peace.
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Unlike a lot of you, I can't quote out verses of scripture; but as an ex-mormon who has remained Christian, I can only relate to the continuous HOPE that I have read in passages of the Bible and in my early years of mormonism.  Of course, many religions hold onto the same vision.  Having lost two members of family to suicide..and losing a husband and mother three months a part, I am clinging to a divine hope and belief that they live.  No other thing is more precious to me than that.  It has given me a light in my darkest hours.

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Unlike a lot of you, I can't quote out verses of scripture; but as an ex-mormon who has remained Christian, I can only relate to the continuous HOPE that I have read in passages of the Bible and in my early years of mormonism. Of course, many religions hold onto the same vision. Having lost two members of family to suicide..and losing a husband and mother three months a part, I am clinging to a divine hope and belief that they live. No other thing is more precious to me than that. It has given me a light in my darkest hours.

Thank you, I love your testimony!

A close family member attempted suicide when I was 18. My brothers and I gathered to pray before our day-long journey to the hospital. During the prayer, I had the very distinct impression that my loved one would "be okay, because of Jesus Christ." I still believe that. Because of Him, there's always hope.

Edited by Meadowchik
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Unlike a lot of you, I can't quote out verses of scripture; but as an ex-mormon who has remained Christian, I can only relate to the continuous HOPE that I have read in passages of the Bible and in my early years of mormonism. Of course, many religions hold onto the same vision. Having lost two members of family to suicide..and losing a husband and mother three months a part, I am clinging to a divine hope and belief that they live. No other thing is more precious to me than that. It has given me a light in my darkest hours.

Lost my parents 3 months apart also.:(
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Big hugs to you, Tacenda!

How do you get through? Has anything helped?

I think of them everyday. But this happened a few years ago. Thanks for the hugs! Wish I had good advice, I remember reading a lot of NDE's to help asure they are up there together and happy. :)
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I think of them everyday. But this happened a few years ago. Thanks for the hugs! Wish I had good advice, I remember reading a lot of NDE's to help asure they are up there together and happy. :)

 

That's interesting.  Near-death experiences comfort me, too.  It helps that I've personally met and listened to someone who had them, which makes the testimony of strangers more plausible.  I also like Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor.  It's not an NDE, but her account of her own stroke as a neurologist.  To me, it illustrates how much bigger and expansive the universe is, bigger than we can perceive it.  Our brains filter so much that we cannot see at the moment, as the New Testament says,

 

                             "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

 

I Corinthians 13:12

 

Just imagine what there is to look forward to, the clarity and the fullness of love we'll be able to see in the faces of those we've known and loved, the new plane of a more perfect relation with them!

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I haven't faced a truly hard trial along the lines contemplated here, so I can only speculate how I'd react.  But I hope I could draw inspiration from the author of one of my favorite 19th century Christian hymns, "It Is Well With My Soul."  Horatio Spafford wrote it after losing all of his children, four daughters in a shipwreck.  (Not that I imagine I could author a hymn, but that I would hold similar courage and conviction.)

 

Beauty from tragedy. Lyrics & story here.

 

--Erik

Edited by Five Solas
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That's interesting. Near-death experiences comfort me, too. It helps that I've personally met and listened to someone who had them, which makes the testimony of strangers more plausible. I also like Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor. It's not an NDE, but her account of her own stroke as a neurologist. To me, it illustrates how much bigger and expansive the universe is, bigger than we can perceive it. Our brains filter so much that we cannot see at the moment, as the New Testament says,

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

I Corinthians 13:12

Just imagine what there is to look forward to, the clarity and the fullness of love we'll be able to see in the faces of those we've known and loved, the new plane of a more perfect relation with them!

I sure hope so Meadowchic, thank you! Losing parents and then my religion soon after, is hard to swallow.
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I haven't faced a truly hard trial along the lines contemplated here, so I can only speculate how I'd react. But I hope I could draw inspiration from the author of one of my favorite 19th century Christian hymns, "It Is Well With My Soul." Horatio Spafford wrote it after losing all of his children, four daughters in a shipwreck. (Not that I imagine I could author a hymn, but that I would hold similar courage and conviction.)

Beauty from tragedy. Lyrics & story here.

--Erik

That is beautiful.

There's another non-LDS hymn I love ( actually many, but this is one) and it is in the French Church hymnbooks but not the English ones.

But to me, it is very comforting. Here's the English lyrics for "In the Garden:"

I come to the garden alone

While the dew is still on the roses

And the voice I hear falling on my ear

The Son of God discloses.

Refrain

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me I am His own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

He speaks, and the sound of His voice,

Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,

And the melody that He gave to me

Within my heart is ringing.

Refrain

I’d stay in the garden with Him

Though the night around me be falling,

But He bids me go; through the voice of woe

His voice to me is calling.

Refrain

Words: Charles Austin Miles (1912)

The story of the hymn's creation is neat, too: http://www.hymnlyrics.org/mostpopularhymns/inthegarden.php

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