Worst Police Assignment Ever

[MorningStar]

Something has been weighing on me heavily and I knew it was more than the sleep deprivation. chronic pain, etc.  I woke up the other morning after an awful night of sleep and as soon as I saw the first headline about the Subway guy (don't even want to hear his name anymore), I almost burst into tears.  "Why?" I wondered.

 

Well, duh.  My brother just accepted a 7 year assignment as a detective who will be dealing with people like Subway guy, sex traffickers, etc.  I feel the way I did when he was deployed to dangerous areas for a year, only worse.  I worried about his physical safety a lot, but this - I'm worried about him spiritually and emotionally.  He will have to see a lot of horrible things and I don't know how he can handle that for so long.  He will be dealing with countless people who look like the average Joe, yet are capable of something so awful.  Those images and videos of children being abused.  I'm wondering if they will provide counseling?  I would feel angry and hurt every day doing something like that and that would really wear on me.  He's already quite the cynic, but also very good at what he does. 

 

I never thought much before about the people who have to send these guys to jail and what's required.  I never thought about juries before either.  I asked him if jurors have to see images and videos as evidence.  He said that usually doesn't happen because defense lawyers know the jurors will hate their client's guts, so they usually plead guilty. 

 

I'll be putting his name in the temple on a regular basis for sure.  Now how to get out of this funk?  I can't spend the next 7 years worrying about this.  During both his deployments, I was on edge all the time. I've never told him that.  I guess it's good I at least recognized why I feel like I have an anvil on my chest.

 

Why is it so hard for people to be normal?!  I mean just a basic level of decency.  I can't understand this kind of behavior. 

[Calm]

 I'm wondering if they will provide counseling? 

 

I believe that is paid for out of the restitution money if not free from the state, each gets a $100,000.

=======

 

"I never thought much before about the people who have to send these guys to jail and what's required.'

 

There is a reason why there is there is a high rate of self-destructive behaviour among those who are trying to protect us from this level of evil.

 

http://www.milestonegroupnj.com/?page_id=348

 

Be supportive of your brother as you are doing.  Maybe even study to find the more successful approaches.  He needs to have structure and an anchor among other things.  There are probably support groups out there that have the best ideas.

[MorningStar]

Well, good thing he doesn't drink.  I guess he'll go into foodie overdrive.   I think it's good at least that he doesn't have small children at home anymore because I'm sure he would become extra paranoid about his babies being harmed. 

[strappinglad]

I'm afraid when it comes to such behavior, I find myself in total agreement with Matt 18: 6 .

[Kenngo1969]

I'm afraid when it comes to such behavior, I find myself in total agreement with Matt 18: 6 .

Something about millstones ... ?

[bluebell]

This makes me think of the LDS guy who runs that company that goes out and tries to stop sexual slavery of children. He started out in the field working for the government and when he told his superiors that he did not believe he could emotionally handle it, his boss told him that because of his beliefs he was one of the few who could.

Someone has to stop these sickos. Men like your brother are heros. I do believe that God can protect such people, not only physically but mentally and spiritually as well. I'm sure that doesn't make it at all easy though.

[rpn]

Suggest he arranges for someone to be his sponsor ---- someone who can talk to him regularly about how to deal with what he sees and hears.   I think you might also see if you should be lobbying his department to shorten such assignments.   Many departments do not allow officers to remain in emotionally taxing positions continuously for more than a couple of years.  

 

And help your brother insulate himself by scripture reading, temple attendance, regularly being with good people.   (I know someone who fell into a porn thing by doing it in a law enforcement capacity.  He was a decorated VET and LEO, who nevertheless spent some time in prison and has been rebaptized (though he hasn't had his temple blessings restored as he remains on probation).   If you want to try to put your brother in touch with him, I suspect he might be willing and able to help someone else avoid what he got sucked into. PM me.) 

[Kenngo1969]

I can only echo what's been said.  He's going to need a good support system.  Be there for him, encourage others to be there for him, and encourage him to use whatever other support resources he has, both inside and outside the department.  And I would encourage him to use the latter, especially: In certain respects, can only other officers and first responders understand what they go through? Yes; but confining one's support system to only such resources potentially can lead to tunnel vision that distorts one's view of the entire world outside of law enforcement.  Whatever other resources my father had, and whatever other resources he availed himself of, he never lost sight of the fact that as important as his work was, it was what (and most importantly whom) he went home to every night or every morning that mattered most.  Sometimes, it's because such resources are outside law enforcement that their perspective is so valuable.  Best wishes to both of you.

Edited August 26, 2015 by Kenngo1969

[Traela]

Encourage him to get priesthood blessings.

[Doctor Steuss]

My little sis is a psychologist that works almost solely with children who are wards of the state.  After I saw the movie Precious (I don’t recommend anyone watch it who hasn’t seen it), I mentioned to her how it was the first time that I had ever become physically ill from a movie – there were about 15 minutes of the movie that I missed as I had to rush to the bathroom.  She watched the film, and her response to it was “interesting… matches quite a few cases I’ve had.”

 

A few years ago, she was with me while I was shopping for a T-shirt.  I tried on a shirt on top of the shirt I was wearing.  When I went to take the shirt off, the shirt I was wearing underneath came up a bit, exposing my belly.  With lightening quick speed, she reflexively reached over, and pulled my shirt down.  I gave her a funky look, and she explained that so many of her kids have been hyper-sexualized, so she has to be careful that no other kids expose skin other than legs/arms -- so it has become second nature.

 

My sister also sees a counselor regularly.  Even though she has a Masters in psychology, she knows that she cannot be her own patient, as she tries to process and deal with the overwhelming emotions that can come when confronted with the underbelly of humanity, and the victims left in the wake of the destruction of monsters.

                                                                                                                 

I am very grateful for people like your brother, and I hope he takes full advantage of the counseling resources provided to him during his service to our society.

Edited August 26, 2015 by Doctor Steuss

[The Nehor]

I volunteered for a time at a children's advocacy center that interviewed abused children. The adult abusers I interacted with their are the only people I have ever felt a real and compelling urge to physically attack and hurt without provocation.

He should spend time in the temple and, as was said above, get out of that mindset regularly. If it gets heavy he will probably need someone to unload on whether a therapist or tough friend or priesthood leader. If he is married he needs to be careful not to accidentally turn his wife into his therapist.

Good luck for his own wellbeing and good luck bringing down those sleazy slavers.

[Guest]

In my police work in the City of Atlanta, I had many assignments in my 23 years. Sometimes code enforcement, Adult protect services (most have no idea the horrors that people can do to their elderly families) where it was a joy to lock up abusive adult children. Others assignment would have me find children in homes where prostitution was taking place in the next room. Once while on patrol I saw a toddler walking on railroad tracks next to his home and a train was coming...God forbid I had been a min later. When I took him to his house no one even knew he was gone! Indeed pray for him, I developed a rather dim view of humanity and very jaded. I have been retired for some time, and I struggle to see the good in people, I struggle with my language when I get angry. A large part of it never leaves you...after carrying a gun for so long, I feel naked and valuable without my service weapon. Often I feel that the choice of profession and retirement comes at to great a cost.

I will certainly be in n prayer for him...if you want to PM his name to me. I know of another police officer in Atlanta who once in my Ward, he has become so jaded that he never comes to Church and does not want to even talk about. Sadly he has been at it for 30 years, I hope soon he will retire and find his way home again.

[ERayR]

In my police work in the City of Atlanta, I had many assignments in my 23 years. Sometimes code enforcement, Adult protect services (most have no idea the horrors that people can do to their elderly families) where it was a joy to lock up abusive adult children. Others assignment would have me find children in homes where prostitution was taking place in the next room. Once while on patrol I saw a toddler walking on railroad tracks next to his home and a train was coming...God forbid I had been a min later. When I took him to his house no one even knew he was gone! Indeed pray for him, I developed a rather dim view of humanity and very jaded. I have been retired for some time, and I struggle to see the good in people, I struggle with my language when I get angry. A large part of it never leaves you...after carrying a gun for so long, I feel naked and valuable without my service weapon. Often I feel that the choice of profession and retirement comes at to great a cost.

I will certainly be in n prayer for him...if you want to PM his name to me. I know of another police officer in Atlanta who once in my Ward, he has become so jaded that he never comes to Church and does not want to even talk about. Sadly he has been at it for 30 years, I hope soon he will retire and find his way home again.

 

Sometimes I think about it and I literally weep.  I could easily go crazy thinking of it.  I certainly know why it says that Jesus wept.

[VideoGameJunkie]

Sometimes you have to think how Jesus could forgive everyone, and what's hard is we have to realize that to become truly forgiven of our own sins and vices, we must forgive others. I know a girl that just forgave a guy who was stalking her for 3 and a half years and sending bad texts and voicemails. These sickos out there need help and the atonement of Jesus Christ.

[The Nehor]

Sometimes you have to think how Jesus could forgive everyone, and what's hard is we have to realize that to become truly forgiven of our own sins and vices, we must forgive others. I know a girl that just forgave a guy who was stalking her for 3 and a half years and sending bad texts and voicemails. These sickos out there need help and the atonement of Jesus Christ.

 

I know, shortly after I left that job I realized I had to forgive those people if I was to have any hope of forgiveness. I still hope they are stopped and I still believe they deserve severe punishment but in time I was able to see the dark road they walked down, perhaps not entirely of their own volition, and hope the Savior can cure them and make them human again.

[MorningStar]

My little sis is a psychologist that works almost solely with children who are wards of the state.  After I saw the movie Precious (I don’t recommend anyone watch it who hasn’t seen it), I mentioned to her how it was the first time that I had ever become physically ill from a movie – there were about 15 minutes of the movie that I missed as I had to rush to the bathroom.  She watched the film, and her response to it was “interesting… matches quite a few cases I’ve had.”

 

A few years ago, she was with me while I was shopping for a T-shirt.  I tried on a shirt on top of the shirt I was wearing.  When I went to take the shirt off, the shirt I was wearing underneath came up a bit, exposing my belly.  With lightening quick speed, she reflexively reached over, and pulled my shirt down.  I gave her a funky look, and she explained that so many of her kids have been hyper-sexualized, so she has to be careful that no other kids expose skin other than legs/arms -- so it has become second nature.

 

My sister also sees a counselor regularly.  Even though she has a Masters in psychology, she knows that she cannot be her own patient, as she tries to process and deal with the overwhelming emotions that can come when confronted with the underbelly of humanity, and the victims left in the wake of the destruction of monsters.

                                                                                                                 

I am very grateful for people like your brother, and I hope he takes full advantage of the counseling resources provided to him during his service to our society.

 

Thank you for sharing.  On one hand, I feel like he's the man for the job.  As a cop this last decade, the happiest he was was when he saved children from a seriously abusive situation.  He said the reason he chose that field was to help people who are truly victims, but usually he was dealing with people who made their own problems.  I think he will have a great sense of purpose in this assignment, but I'm pretty much going to insist he get therapy.  He's not really a therapy kind of guy, but seriously.  He's going to need it after that long.  I'm glad your sister talks to someone.  I know a few psychiatrists who talk to other psychiatrists because of the stress they feel listening to such major issues.  I used to work for one.  

[sunstoned]

When I was going to school I worked at the Utah State Prison as a guard.  I worked swing and graveyard so that I could attend school. The money was good, but I quit after a year because I couldn't take the constant association with inmates.  Some were on the right track to repent and improve their lives, but most were not. This experience changed me.  I learned in a very personal way that there are people in this world that have no light of Christ in their souls at all.  I became distrustful and judgemental of others.   I am a weak person, and  I quit after a year.

[MorningStar]

He rescued a 3-year-old victim last night.  Poor girl.  Mother was arrested.  Night before he went to serve a warrant and the guy was deceased by the front door - natural causes. 

[ttribe]

Worst assignment, or most important? I, for one, am grateful there are people out there like your brother to help protect our kids from predators.  I'm guessing his department has some internal mental health resources as well to enable officers to deal with the stresses stemming from their jobs.

[Guest]

Sometimes I think about it and I literally weep.  I could easily go crazy thinking of it.  I certainly know why it says that Jesus wept.

Indeed, don't get me wrong, you get to do so much good, but it is heartbreaking the situations that you are helping others out of...images that are hard to erase. To those exposed to such evil and are believers, you look forward to the day when Christ is again upon the earth where such things are no more and when "...swords are beaten into plowshares". A time when such images no longer haunt the minds of so many who are victims, or those who serve as police or in war as soldiers, or those who view war first hand. God speed that day!

[mirkwood]

18 years as a street cop (and still working).  I have always used the church as my tool to defend my spirit from the dark side of mortality.  I read my scriptures (sometimes in my patrol car), I pray for work related things before leaving for my shift every day, I have family prayer right before leaving,  I pray at work as needed,  I hang out with people outside of my profession instead of my co-workers.  That one helps me remember how many good people are out there.  I am active in my ward. I home teach regularly and have developed relationships with my families.  I do as much as I can that is away from my job when I am not working as possible.  I learned early on that hanging out with my coworkers is not healthy for me (and I think most of us) mentally. 

 

If your brother does these things he should be fine.  Don't misunderstand that there is a price we pay for the profession we picked.  I've seen some awful things.  How deep those scars run is up to each of us.  I combat it with the above attitudes.

[MorningStar]

18 years as a street cop (and still working).  I have always used the church as my tool to defend my spirit from the dark side of mortality.  I read my scriptures (sometimes in my patrol car), I pray for work related things before leaving for my shift every day, I have family prayer right before leaving,  I pray at work as needed,  I hang out with people outside of my profession instead of my co-workers.  That one helps me remember how many good people are out there.  I am active in my ward. I home teach regularly and have developed relationships with my families.  I do as much as I can that is away from my job when I am not working as possible.  I learned early on that hanging out with my coworkers is not healthy for me (and I think most of us) mentally. 

 

If your brother does these things he should be fine.  Don't misunderstand that there is a price we pay for the profession we picked.  I've seen some awful things.  How deep those scars run is up to each of us.  I combat it with the above attitudes.

Thank you!  Excellent advice.    

[Olmec]

Maybe it's because I'm an investigator.... But if your brother is good at what he does... Than that's probably why God is putting him there. He will be helping others. Actually,I'm kind of jealous... I pray to "help me help others".. And my first post( this one) is about someone else being able to do what I've been asking for. Don't worry about it.. Gods got a plan, and there's not much you're gonna do besides get yourself all worked up. Give your worry to God. God's been working with us for along time.. He's a veteran.

[Calm]

Check out the pinned thread in the General Discussion forum about LDS Charities to find ways you can help others...maybe not a career, but you can still change lives.

[Garden Girl]

Hello olmec... and welcome to the Board...

If you join the Church, you will have numerous opportunities to help others... believe me... be careful what you ask for... just kidding... there will be ample opportunity to make a difference....

 

GG